Caught In The Middle Chapter 2: If You're Heart's Not In It, a home & away fanfic

I'm back! And I hate you all with a fiery vengeance for making me give into 'peer pressure' and continue this fic...shame on you all!

Grrr I knew it could never be a one-shot but after all those awesome reviews from everyone of you I felt compelled to keep going. Before you get too excited this will not be a long epic story, just a short fic with several chapters...well that's the plan...let's see how long it lasts!

And Vix that was the definition of an "amazing review." Do you have another one in you?

Oh and Eruanna Eire - best review ever! Aww I turned a huge CA fan into liking a CJ story? Loves it! I must have 'special writing powers' to accomplish that feat I tell ya lol!

Thought I'd start this chapter off with another lil song...dunno if I'll continue that throughout but let me know what you think!

"If Your Heart's Not In It"

"I'm missing you
Girl even though you're right here by my side
Cause lately it seems
The distance between us is growing too wide

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
The last thing that I wanna hear

But if your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it

You say that you love me
But baby sometimes
You're just saying the words
If you've got somethin' to tell me
Don't keep it inside
Let it be heard

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
Girl I'll make it easy for you

How I wish I could take us back in time
But it's gone too far now we can't rewind

(And there's nothing that I can do
To stop me losin' you)
I can't make you change your mind

(If your heart's not in it)

Two Weeks Later

"Morning Charlie," Angelo greeted over enthusiastically. "Mornin'," Charlie grunted as she walked into the office she was now forced to share at the station with her boyfriend. The past few weeks had seen Angelo been more attentive and overzealous every time he saw her and it was driving her insane. She felt like she was at a breaking point but didn't have the guts to go ahead and break it off with him. The thought of then having to face him at work every day and share an office together made her feel sick.

Charlie couldn't work out what had overcome him recently the past couple weeks. He had backed down on trying to convince her to buy a house with him, but was still gently trying to talk her into possibly moving in with him. It was frustrating enough to spend all her days with him at work and wished he would give up on pressuring her. She thought he had finally taken the hint that she wasn't, and never will be, ready to commit to him but still he kept showering her with attention and wanting to spend all their time together.

As Charlie placed her handbag on her desk, Angelo stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist softly. Charlie fought the urge to shudder. Leaning round and kissing her on the cheek, he smiled, "Missed you last night." Charlie sighed, "Yeah well I told you that Leah doesn't like it when you stay over when you have to start work early. As much as you try not to, you always manage to wake up her and Veej."

Angelo tightened his grip on her, "Hence why you should've stayed at mine...or maybe you could reconsider getting our own place...to rent. I know you're not ready to buy a place together but maybe it'd be a good first step...us moving in together." Charlie shrugged out of his embrace, leaning against her desk, "Angelo...I just need...more time. I mean we spend enough time at work together. We can't be dependent on only each other and not spend time apart." Angelo gritted his teeth, "I'm not asking you to spend every waking moment with me...I just want to show you how much I love you and how much I want to be there for you. I've been here for you through everything Charlie and I just want you to know that we can make this work. If you need me to...I'll wait for you."

Charlie smiled hesitantly, "Thanks...that's sweet. I'm glad you've been here for me but I'm happy...with our living arrangements the way they are. You need to be okay with that because I'm not gonna change my mind." Angelo sighed defeated, "Okay...I'm okay with it. I just feel like your slipping away...guess I don't want that to happen." "Where'd you get that impression?" Charlie dismissed. Angelo threw up his hands awkwardly, "Maybe it's just my imagination," maybe from the letter you wrote, "So tonight...I was thinking we could go out to dinner...spend some quality time together away from work...whatta you say?"

Charlie bit the inside of her cheek, "I say I have far too much work to do and I'm gonna be here all night so it's...not a good time." "Well I'm your boss so I say pass your work to someone else or leave it 'til tomorrow," Angelo suggested cheerfully. Charlie scowled at him angrily, "That is exactly what I don't want to do. I'm not the girl who's sleeping with her boss just to get out of some work or gain some advantages in my career. The other constables already think that you favour me with the rosters you assign and the cases I get assigned to and you've only been my boss for a month now. So...back off when we're at work and treat me like you would any other cop."

Angelo took a step back slowly, "I'm sorry...I didn't realize you were getting a hard time from the others over things like that. I'll try and be more fair from now on. Maybe if you tell me who's giving you a hard time I can have a talk with them--" Charlie groaned loudly, and turned her back on Angelo, slumping into her chair, "Yeah that's just what I need you to do so the other cops will take me more seriously. I can fight my own battles Angelo, stop being the over-protective boyfriend when we're at work! You're not my boyfriend when we're here!"

Angelo nodded sadly, "That's who I am Charlie. I'll always want to protect you and help you. I just get this feeling that..." I'm not the one you want protecting you and I'm beginning to see the truth behind every little thing you say. Charlie slammed some papers and files down on her desk, "Whatever! I've got work to do so if you don't mind shutting up I might be able to finish this by the end of this week instead of the end of next week the rate I'm going right now. Don't want to be accused of not being able to finish my work on time. Then when this is finished maybe we can spend some time together...and have a talk."

Angelo swallowed hard at those last few words, not wanting to ever hear them from his girlfriend knowing the real meaning behind them, "Duh...okay." Charlie glanced over at him nervously, "I'm sorry...I'm just getting really stressed out about a lot of things and I just want to concentrate on my work right now." Angelo walked back to his desk and sat down, "But you'd tell me right? You'd tell me the truth about what's stressing you out right?" "Ah huh," Charlie replied distantly as she logged onto her computer and started typing up some reports.

Angelo slouched back into his chair, not taking his eyes off his girlfriend as she delved herself into her workload. What am I gonna do with you? Angelo asked himself silently. I've tried everything to ignore what's right in front of me...I can't keep doing it can I? Every day for the past two weeks I've gone to your house without you or waited until you're distracted when you are there just so I can check the letter's still there...some might call that obsessive stalking. As long as the letter is still there in her drawer, it hasn't been posted. And as long as it hasn't been posted, Joey doesn't know what Charlie's been through and can't ride on in to her life again like a white knight.

But how long can I keep putting myself through this emotional pain? Knowing that I'm second best, knowing that Charlie feels that she's caught in an impossible situation with me? It's not just me that's in pain over this. Charlie is completely lost and there's nothing I can do that'll convince her...that I'm the guy for her. Can I keep holding on forever just hoping that she won't gain the strength to send that letter? Just hoping that every time she says 'We need to talk' it isn't the talk I want her to tell me.

Can I really just sit here and let her led me on? Let my heart get broken every time she looks at me knowing I'm not the one she wants looking back at her. I want to be able to give her everything, but ever since I read that letter I can see the truth behind everything she wants to be able to tell me but can't. Charlie, your heart has never been in this relationship, and I'm tired of watching you try and fake what you don't feel for me. I can't keep begging you to stay. Now do I have the strength to walk away?

Angelo tapped his fingers against his desk, then stood up nervously, "I'm gonna...I've got something I've gotta go do." "Ya huh," Charlie waved him off dismissively, not even looking at him. Angelo shook his head upset that she didn't seem to care, and unsure if he knew what he should do. Angelo sighed gently as he exited their office.

Several minutes later Angelo pulled out the front of Charlie's house. Entering the empty house he slipped into Charlie's room and silently opened the drawer which contained the letter. Flicking through all the ornaments and magazines he pulled out the folded letter. Unfolding it gently he took a moment to read over the letter, letting the words flow over him again. Reaching back into the drawer he pulled out the matching envelope which Charlie had written Joey's address on.

Noticing there was already something in the envelope, Angelo pulled it out gently. Angelo held up the photo in front of him that had been hidden in the envelope. Flipping the photo over, he read Charlie's handwriting, confirming what he already knew – 'Joey and I, just after we got together. I love this girl!' Turning the photo back over, he stared at it for several minutes. It was a simple photo of them cuddled up together on the couch, laughing happily. The photo was natural, like they didn't realize someone was taking a photo of them.

Ruby perhaps? Angelo thought as he bit his lip, staring at the girl with the long dark brown hair and deep brown eyes who was cuddled up to Charlie lovingly. She's pretty. What else would you expect? I can see why Charlie fell for her. She's not insanely hot but she's beautiful and...she's got something I don't...Charlie. Never in the whole time that I've known Charlie has she ever smiled like this. 'I love this girl'...how long were they together before Charlie told Joey she loves...loved her? Has she even said it to me? She must have...I can't remember...God what does that girl have that I don't? How did she get Charlie to fall madly in love with her? Is the girl in this picture still in love with Charlie? Angelo slipped the photo and letter inside the envelope then sighed heavily.

I don't think I can do this. The first time I read this letter...I was so sure I could forget it ever...existed...that I could be the guy you need, Charlie. Reading it the second time...now I just feel... God I was sure I could do the right thing...even before when I drove over here but now that I'm here holding the letter I know I can just get rid of it. I can burn the letter and everything it entails, forget about it completely and hope Charlie doesn't notice it missing...at least until I can vague up an excuse to its whereabouts. I can keep fighting for Charlie and hope one day she'll stop thinking of me as only second best or I can finally do what Charlie's just not strong enough to do...and drive to the City.

To see if I can find Joey, watch her from a distance to find out if she's moved on or stuck in the same place that Charlie is. If she's with someone new, and happy, I'll come home to Charlie, put the letter back where it was and once and for all forget about the possibility that Joey will ever come back to Charlie and continue edging my way into Charlie's heart. I'm not giving Charlie up if there's no point. If Joey's moved on...and Charlie finds out...it'll only hurt her more...or it could convince Charlie that her and Joey have no future together...if I could somehow get Charlie to see how happy Joey is without her. But if Joey's as alone and miserable as Charlie is...maybe I need to do the right thing and I'll hand post this letter to her...and let Joey be the one who decides who Charlie should be with.