Alice looked up the Hatter in shock as what he said sunk in. This is my fault. As soon as I get back, something bad happens. Of course. You had no idea this was going to happen! Besides, we do not even know what it is yet. It could be something happy. Alice closed her eyes and began to shake her head violently, trying to drive the thought of something happening to Hatter out of her head. The Hatter reached in front of him and caught Alice's face in his hands. He moved her head at an angle so he could look into her blue orbs that were now tearing up.
The Hatter took his thumb and brushed it across her face in a soothing motion. She closed her eyes and began to pull out of the Hatters grasp, to shock him by running back into his arms. She rubbed her face against his chest, sobbing and saying things like, "It's my entire fault", and "everything is going to happen." The Hatter placed his arms around Alice and pulled her towards the Hares bed to sit. The queen saw what had just happened and backed out of the room quietly.
Alice rubbed her face against his chest, looking for as much comfort as possible. She was relieved when she felt his arms wrap around her. She was pulled towards the bed so they could sit. She turned her head towards the right when she heard something fall to the ground with a loud sound. As she turned, she had kept her face against his chest and heard a sickly crack as she either fixed her nose, or broke the poor appendage even more.
The Hatter looked down quickly when he heard the sound of a breaking bone come from her. He looked down to see her face, twisted with pain, holding back a very large 'ow!' He toke her chin in his hand and pulled it up to she her nose with a better angle.
He was quiet surprised to see her nose seemed to be perfectly fine. He poked at it, squeezed it, and flicked it, making sure she was not just acting strong. He sighed, as he knew she was all right. Alice, finally done sobbing, looked at what seemed to have made that sound moments ago. She looked towards the door and saw her small suitcase lying on the floor, with a note upon it. She jumped up from the bed (and the Hatter's lap) and raced towards the bag. She reached inside the bag and pulled out her journal. She opened it and found the letter the Hatter had sent her. She let out a breath that she did not know she was holding. When she found her two most prized positions completely in order and in tact, she turned her attention to the mysterious letter sitting on the bag.
She reached out her hand and grabbed the letter as she saw the Hatter also reaching out. She smiled at how when she was sad, he would always try to make her smile. She quickly opened the fold letter and leaned back into the Hatter, who was sitting behind her so he could read with her. She leaned into his chest and could hear his heartbeat after everything finally got quiet for her to hear.
The Hatter placed his chin on her head very softly, almost tickling her forehead. She smiled to the thought and continued opening the letter.
"Alice, you might want to be much more careful of your things. Yes and, we have not been able to finish our conversation from before the ball.
Sincerely. Chess.
Alice smiled at how much the cat would hold something against you until the day you die. She placed the letter on her outstretched legs and looked up to see the hatter.
She saw his face, which seemed very confused. She slowly reached her hand up and grazed her finger across the Hatters bottom lip. She saw him look down at her when she got confused herself. The Hatter looked as if he was hurt, as if she just told him to jump of a cliff.
"Hatter? What's wrong?" She said pulling herself up to turn and face him better. He pulled her back down, scared as if she was going to leave him. She pulled his face down to hers, just inches away from each other. She looked into his eyes and asked him yet again.
"What is wrong Hatter?" He looked into her eyes and made her even more confused. He pointed towards her bag in front of her feet and just pointed, not saying a thing. She looked at the bag and saw the letters she wrote in reply to him but never sent them. She pulled the closest one and showed him the letter.
"There just replies that I never sent." He read the first one and broke his silence.
"You love me?" He asked as though if she said yes he would die a painful death. He looked very grim as he thought of what she would say. 'Of course not you silly.' I would never.' He looked down into her eyes and thought about all the things she could have said, but not what she did say. She looked into his eyes and muttered a single word.
"Yes." He looked at her with that and his facial expression changed in milliseconds. A moment ago, it seemed as though someone died, but now, he looked like he might need medication to keep him calm. He smiled a very toothy smile that showed off his gap that sat between his front two teeth. She gave a small grin, looked up at him, and saw a change. He was not just the Hatter or Tarrant anymore. He was her Hatter. Her Tarrant.
He looked down and saw her eyes filled with very large sparkles. He leaned into examine her eyes further. Is that diamonds in her eyes? How could she possible fit those in her eyes? "Why Alice, would you have those sparkly diamonds in your eyeballs?" The Hatter asked confused. Alice looked down to hide her blush when she felt her shoulders start to shake. The Hatter looked down in confusion as she shook silently.
His memories flashed to a sad vision from years ago. He sat with his mother in a small room that was remarkably gloomy. He moved his attention back to his mother when she broke into a very loud, throaty cough. He squeezed her hand to allow her to know he was still there for her, even if her time was short.
She turned her attention toward her usually talkative son. She pulled her free left hand from her side on placed it on her sons face. "Please be different from everyone else. Please." She said desperately. "Mother? What do you mean?" The younger Hatter asked quietly. "Tarrant, please do not be sad. It happens to everyone some day. Please be happy. I shall finally be happy by reuniting with your father." She said smiling at the thought of her now deceased Husband. Tarrant pulled out of his mothers grasp and turned around.
"You can't just sit there and ask me to enjoy my own mothers' death." He said while placing his head in his own hands. She's the only person left for me. Nothing can happen to her. Fathers gone, mother is going to leave me, and I will have no one left. The young Hatter could never deal with this before, or imagine his mother saying this to him.
"I don't want you to enjoy it, just please do not mope around me Tarrant. You have always been the person that can brighten my day. Please don't darken it." She placed her hand on his back and used her thumb to stroke in circles over his shirt.
"Look at me. I must make sure you understand this. I love you and cannot stop this. But at least we can do is try and not worsen our moods even more" She said with a smile as she weakly attempted to turn around the still pouting Hatter. The young Tarrant looked at his dieing mother with a look of rejection upon his face.
"How can I have a good mood? I shall be alone. No mother, no father, no friends. What's a boy to do?" He said as a tear escaped his eye. Actually, the first tear since he found his mother was dieing.
"Tarrant, you have friends. You are a wonderful young man. Fifteen is the perfect age to find you a sweet heart. In addition, you will catch the perfect one for you, and very easily since you are quite the dashing man!" She said trying to encourage the teenage boy. She placed her hand gently under his chin and pulled it up to look her in the eye.
"Son, come over here. I cannot. Please. I may be ill but I am still your mother." She said, practically demanding him to her side.
He stood up and walked over to his mothers' side across the bed. He looked at his mothers now opened arms, and almost jumped into them. He sat there and cried about things that were completely out of context, with his mother shushing and cooing at him trying to calm him.
He felt his mother violently shake underneath him as he sobbed. He brushed it from his mind, thinking she had just had a form of muscle spasm.
He finally stopped all of his tears and babble to find his mother, eyes closed, and not breathing. He pulled out of her grasp and rose to his knees.
"Mother? Wake up! Please don't sleep! Not yet! Please do not leave me…..not now. Please….." He laid back down with his head on her chest, with her cold arms wrapped around his small form.
"Alice! Please do not sleep! I could not take it if you went to sleep also! Please….." He said to Alice still sitting on his lap, shaking. She stopped laughing and looked up at the Hatter, who was now in tears. She pulled herself closer to the Hatter and pulled the hat off the floor that had been on there since the encounter with the door. He looked at Alice when he felt something being placed gently on his head.
"Tarrant, please tell me what is wrong?" She said serious. She had never said his real name. Never. She may have thought it sometimes and maybe wrote it in letters, but she had never called him that. She had always wanted a special name for him. Not just a name, but also something very special. That is what she had given him.
"Well, um. Would you mind if I tell you little things? The memory is quite miserable and I do not wish to place such memories on you." He said with a look that pleaded to be helped, but did not want to become a burden.
"Silly man. Of course. Tell me as much as you like." She gave a small encouraging smile to the nervous man. He sighed in relief and began to tell her of his mothers death with very little details. He flinched at the facial expressions that dashed across her face: pain, worry, pity, and sadness. She reached towards the Hatter and pulled him into a comforting hug as she rubbed his back and let him start to sob on her bare shoulder.
He cried mainly over the years that he could not do this. To never be held, to never sob freely, to never be comforted like this. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her as close as possible. She began the play with his hair by lightly tugging at small strands. She felt a shiver run through him as she looked at the window. She was very surprised to see the once early morning was now a dark starry night. She felt the Hatters tears stop flowing and his sniffles lessen.
She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. "Why don't we get a blanket and head outside?" She said as she knew he would want a cup of tea, if not the whole pot. Tarrant smiled to the idea of having tea with Alice.