Well, I am not in a wonderful mood,
But that means a better story I suppose.
I do not really know any plan for this story.
I will just write what I feel is right,
Hopefully, it all turns out.
Naruto woke up to a sunny morning that did not seem as happy to him. It was as if he was covered in something that dulled out the rest of the world. His eyes were cloudy and his head hurt. Blonde strands of hair clung to his head from sweat. His body felt heated, like he was wearing a body suit. His eyes were like orbs, open to the world, yet distant to reality. After staring at the unchanging ceiling, he reluctantly got out of bed, and trudged over to the closet. He opened it and found a few clothes. Naruto pulled on the clothes, not caring to take them off correctly, and they made a mini commotion in the closet, and he turned to the bathroom to take a shower. He grasped the handle and turned it slowly and smoothly. He was in no rush.
Naruto closed the door and locked it. The bathroom was smaller, but completely functional. He turned on the shower and held his hand under the stream until the water was an appropriate temperature. He shed off his pajamas like a second skin, and stepped in the shower. The beats of the shower were not like usual, they were not the sharp arrows that pierced his soul and cleansed it. No, they felt very dull, and just pounded at his soul and increased his agony.
After he was finished, he put on the new clothes and looked in the mirror. He could see his face, but he could not recognize the look in his eyes. Deep inside, they had changed. The windows to his soul showed him something he did not want to see. Naruto quickly averted his eyes and went back into the room. He picked up his phone and stared at it for a while, pondering his decision. He wanted to find a reason to support his idea, and a reason to completely demolish it. He could find neither reason. He went through his contacts and his gaze rested on a single name. Sasuke. His thumb swiped over the call button many times. He was trying to build his courage. Finally, he clicked the button and held the phone to his ear.
-Ring-Ring-Ring-
-click-
"Naruto?" Sasuke's voice was quiet and gentle, he knew what the call was about.
"...I will meet with you."
"Good, we have lots to talk about."
"Yes, but where and when."
"I'm free around 10:30 today, how about that park? You know the one."
"Okay, I suppose."
"Oh, and Naruto?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"Hm." Naruto lowered his phone and pressed end.
Naruto lifted his eyes to the ceiling and his face was bare of emotion. He was afraid of the meeting. He did not know what to say, or what Sasuke would say, and it scared him. A knot formed in his stomach and he felt queasy. He was locked in now. There was no escape. He had to face the truth.
Naruto turned his head to look at the clock. It was 9:30 already. He had a little time to waste, but he had to walk so he needed to be a little time conscience. He decided to go eat a light breakfast quickly. He opened his door and walked as silently as he could so he would not wake up Kiba. The last thing Naruto needed was Kiba to get all involved. Naruto opened the pantry and got out a box of cereal. He poured it in the bowl and poured in some milk. He put away the ingredients and started to eat. It felt good and somewhat calming to have the chill of the milk go down his tongue and into his stomach. The milk cooled his center, where all the tension and his nerves were starting a bonfire. He was so nervous that he actually started to tremble. Naruto hoped it would subside before he met with Sasuke.
Naruto finished, and stared into the reflective bowl, and stared at himself. He wished there was something he could see in there that would tell him the answers, but there was not. He put the bowl by the sink, and checked his phone. It was already 10. Did I really waste all that time? Naruto quickly opened the front door and went on his way to the park.
It was a little ways off from Kiba's house. Maybe 15 or 20 minutes if he took his time. He slowly walked down the streets and sidewalks. His gaze stayed just a few feet in front of him. He knew where he was going, but wanted to feel like there was a chance he could get lost and run from the situation. A gentle breeze blew his hair softly, and calmed him down a bit.
There was still so much to fear, many questions unanswered. Some he did not want answers to. All he really wanted was acceptance, and a path. A path he could easily follow, and not feel tinges of regret or remember things he tried to suppress. A road filled with surprises and little presents all along the way. All the way to a destination of peace, an eternal peace where nothing is holding him to the physical reality anymore. Where there is no feeling and no thought, just pure, raw emotion. A place where contentment existed and everything was balanced. A place where no darkness could be found, where light shone infinitely and all spiritual energies combined to become one eternal being. A being of wonder.
Before he knew it, he was at the park. A recognizable area with maybe a few people near it, but only to visit a vendor or to pass by. A blanket of memories existed within the area, it was the first place of Naruto's quest for eternal happiness, but now it was just flooding his head with memories that saddened him. He sat in a swing, and looked at the little rocks beneath his feet. Sasuke was supposed to be his wonderful partner, his knight in shining armor, but it just was not turning out that way. He had given up hope. Naruto knew he made up his mind about everything, but he was still looking back at it, and tried to step in Sasuke's shoes, but it would not be fair to leave out Kiba's point of view. There was no other choice.
Naruto checked his phone. It was 10:45. Sasuke was late. He was never late when they were happier together. Before he left, and stranded Naruto physically and emotionally. Naruto could not help but feel a bit worried. The worry was overcome by dissatisfaction though. Naruto already had his doubts about everything, and when he finally got the guts to meet up, Sasuke bailed again.
The sound of crunching rocks perked Naruto's ears. He turned to see Sasuke walking in his direction. A wave of relief washed over him, and he watched Sasuke make his way in front of the swings.
Naruto swallowed. "Hello."
"Hello, Naruto."
"...so."
"I guess you're wondering why I left. I really have no excuses or stupid lies so I will straight out tell you. I was testing to see how much you loved me, and if you would fight for me if I left. It got a little out of hand, but I had nothing to do with that, and he was severely reprimand-"
"Wait, so you're telling me this was all just a test?" Naruto gave an incredulous look.
"Yes, I know it was really stupid, but I-"
"STUPID? Of course it was! Who do you think you are! I had someone destroy all my-our belongings for a test!"
"Well, that wasn't my idea. I don't know why you are so mad at me, you did not even try to seek me out! You showed no emotions at all! You were just upset."
"How would you know? You weren't there. I cried my eyes out forever because of some stupid thing you thought would prove something to you. You knew I loved you, and you abused it."
Sasuke looked in Naruto's eyes meekly. "Yeah, I guess it was pretty stupid idea. I'm sorry. I will never do it again. I don't know why I questioned your love, I know you love me."
"I really don't know what to say." Naruto stared off into the forest.
"I know, you shouldn't have to say anything. I'm sorry I was so stupid. Will you please take me back?"
Naruto looked up at Sasuke, his face grimaced with pain. He felt like he could think forever, and never have to say a word. Things would be better off that way. No one would be hurt, everything would just stay still for all eternity. However, he had to do what was needed. His eyes were already pouring water, and his eyelids were red and swollen.
"No. I'm sorry, just no. I can't. I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry." Naruto got up and ran away following the path back.
His mind was whirling, and everything seemed backwards. He could hear Sasuke call from the distance, but he ignored it and ran. All his mind could focus on right now was retracing his steps and getting to a safe place where he could escape his pain. With every hard land he felt all his emotions start to move up his throat, getting ready to just pour out. He was going to have an explosion of emotions right on the street, and he needed to get back quickly.
With his eyes blurry, he wasn't even paying attention to where he was going anymore. Deep inside, he knew where he was going, like a bird migrating south for the winter. He did not know what it was, but it was guiding him. He could still hear Sasuke's distant cries ringing in his ears. Nothing was important right now. He was just a mess. What he did was done, and there was no turning back. He cut it off with Sasuke, and left himself an open door of adventure and hope. Within the tunnel of a burning hell, there was a light just at the end. He could barely see it, but that is where he was running with all the energy he had left.
Kiba's house came into sight, and Naruto made a mad dash for the door. He opened it and slammed it shut. He knew he could finally rest here. His head and legs felt heavy, and he was out of breath. He just fell to the floor and cried all the emotion out of himself. Time seemed to slow, and an almost sense of serenity fell over Naruto. His head was pounding, and he still could not think clearly. He didn't even bother to try and open his eyes, they were too swollen and sore anyway. The sounds of the house and the earth rumbled on the floor and into his head, with his ear like a funnel. Suddenly things became more clear. Maybe this was his path, a road to the place of eternal peace. A way to become happy. The path he has been looking for all of his life.
Well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.
It really had me in there,
my life and emotions were written in the story.
It helps to vent with writing I suppose.
I just hope I can overcome this like Naruto does in the story.
Review!