13. Nothing At All

"I've been moved to seventh seat," announced Rukia proudly as they walked along the streets of Seireitei, the sun warm on their faces and the wind cool on their backs. "Nii-sama finally gave me permission. Ukitake-taichou said I am strong enough for third seat, but for now I should try seventh seat, just to see what it's like and to get used to it."

"That's great," replied Ichigo, trying to sound cheerful despite the heaviness (or doubt or whatever that feeling was) that hung in his heart. He wanted to say more, praise her or tease her or just fill the awkward silence right now where she was obviously expecting him to say something else.

Rukia noticed his hesitation, of course.

"What's wrong?" she asked. He almost couldn't look away at the gaze she gave him, eyes wide and curious.

"Uh."

"Uh?"

"Uhhhhhhhhh well. I was just... kind of wondering what I should do."

She raised her eyebrows. He tried to stop himself from thinking about how pretty her hair looked with the sun shining on it.

"I-I mean I don't have a division, right, so it kind of makes me feel a little... left out when you talk about... getting a seat... you know..."

Her face immediately transformed into one of concern and guilt. "I'm sorry, Ichigo."

He felt a twinge. "No! Don't be! Umm... Just... I feel like I should join a division instead of wandering around the place. But I've no idea..."

"Why don't you go find a division, then?" she suggested. "There are plenty of divisions with empty seats. I am confident they would like to have you."

"...But I want to be with you!"

That came out a lot, lot weirder than he had intended. That was a Big Mistake, because she was staring at him funnily now and he had to look at everywhere but her. He fumbled clumsily for the words that would delete the Big Mistake and turn it into a Nothing At All.

"I-I-Imeantthat if I don't stay around you I might mess up! Y-Yeah. 'Cause you're way more experienced than me, and... and..."

"Enough, Ichigo," she said, and he suddenly noticed she was laughing. "Bakamono, do not even try." Without an ounce of hesitation, her hand rested on his wrist, and she smiled.

"If you go ask Ukitake-taichou," she told him, "I am sure he would readily accept you."

And there was a confidence around her smile that suddenly put him at ease and made everything all right. A silent breeze pushed past them and her black locks danced.

"Yeah," he breathed. "I might. Thanks, Rukia."

Their smiles matched for a moment - and then it was broken by a scowl on Rukia's face. "You moron, why do you always have to be so thick-headed? It is obvious that you could easily join thirteenth division instead of any other division. Why did you think you could not?"

Ichigo flushed. "That's... I thought there were some rules or something! I don't know all the details about joining a division, okay?"

"You should know by now! Really, how many years has it been?"

"Well, you never explained them to me!"

"I did, multiple times, tawake!"

"Really? When?"

She gave an exasperated sigh. "Whatever."

He snorted. "Tch, be that way."

Rukia shuffled her feet a little and stared at the ground as if there was something very interesting stuck to it. "I mean, I'd want you to join thirteenth," she muttered. "It'd be nice for you to be here -"

She stopped and shot him a couple glances that had a particular shyness about them that jolted him a little. He waited for her to say more, but she only pursed her mouth and kept on walking. After a few moments, her steps faltered. She half-turned, revealing her small nose and black lashes, low against the glaze of the sun.

"...b-because there's still plenty for you to learn," she finished hesitantly.

"...yeah," agreed Ichigo, equally hesitantly. He knew it wasn't what she wanted to say. It wasn't what he wanted to agree to, either.

He realized he wasn't the only bumbling traveler who didn't know the way through these difficult matters. He always remembered Rukia for being the steadfast plume of confidence and wisdom, the one who would stand up straight and fearlessly raise her eyes to meet his - and here, she had joined him for but a moment, and they had been two bumbling travelers trying to help each other find the way.

Rukias could make Big Mistakes, too. They just hid it better.

"Let's go," she said, turning fully, composure returned. Nothing at all.