A/N Sorry this has taken me a while to update, I've been on holiday for the past week and at work but now I present you with chapter 2, or really chapter 1 was more of a prologue than anything else. Thank you to my wonderful reviewers glad you're enjoying it and to those of you who have favourited this story I thank you. Also the first bit of this isn't very exciting and I know it possibly drags on a little too much however the end of it is worth it trust me ;)

Chapter 2

Loss of those once loved and the sorrow that it brings to one and more importantly the self-pity that we indulge in is one of the greatest delights and desires even pain can be enjoyment, even depression can be pleasure or so Freud would argue. I believe this to be true.

The sunset was unbearably slow; no matter how many times the hands on his pocket watch rotated the centre the sun never seemed to get any lower, he let out a long sigh and stretched his arms above his head. His mind spun with thoughts that had become woven together, the thoughts were if fantasies, of things that he wanted to be but couldn't dwell on them not for too long, they would be the death of him. He let the lids of his eyes fall creating a barrier between him and the world and took in a deep breath, he could hear the sound of insects like crickets beneath him too far off in the distance. A bread and butterfly flew round his head its wings beating effortlessly like a machine, the insect had more important things to do the hatter appreciated company of any creature usually but today used his hand to tap it away. He removed his hat and placed it beside him on the rugged bench and ruffled his bright orange hair so it was even more messy than usual.

A small but confident voice interrupted his thoughts, "Hatter you're late,"

The Hatter opened his eyes and looked round to see where the voice was coming from, then on seeing no one looked down to the ground and saw the Dormouse looking at him, head cocked to the side. It started to rain great drops hitting the ground pummeling it and bouncing off leaves.

As the Hatter stood up he said, "Listen…to the rain."

And then he followed the dormouse although he obviously knew his way back but somehow the Dormouse didn't quite trust him, he was unpredictable these days and often locked himself in his room surrounded by various teapots of all shapes and colours. He sat drinking tea out of a bottomless cup and wrote letters, all of them love letters to Alice only he had no way of delivering them. His letters had become more like poetry as of recent. Everything in Underworld seemed better, seemed brighter, seemed well happier and more pleasant, the flowers and trees could grow freely, nothing was held back and stopped everything had returned to its natural state except for the Hatter.

The Hatter walked through the branches of a cherry blossom tree as he walked several pink petals floated to the ground, the contract was spectacular, the pink against the black sky and as he came through the trees he saw the others sat at the March Hare's long table where they were drinking tea. It was a blast from the past, since the demise of the Red Queen they hardly ever had tea parties these days.

"Spooooooon!" The March Hare shouted as he ran up to the Hatter and passed him a spoon.

"Thanks," the Hatter said quietly and walked over to the table and took his usual place at the head of the table.

Chess appeared behind him and curled his long stripy tail around the hat and licked the side of the Hatter's face then spun so he was lying in mid air upside down.

"Turn that frown…." He started, "upside down."

The cat smiled at his old friend and could see that he was troubled but more than that he was ill, the Hatter was lovesick.

"UI should have gone with her, "he said.

"Ahhh yes but it wouldn't have worked for a start I very much doubt you'd be able to get back to where it was she is from and presides you wouldn't have fit in, you could have…embarrassed her," Chess said as he sat down on the table.

"Embarrassed her?"

"Contrary wise," Tweedledum piped in. "I think it would have been a fine thing."

Tweedledee nodded and even he realized it wasn't the time to start an argument with his sibling.

The Hatter picked up a half eaten biscuit and looked around the table of his friends, true he was grateful and Underland was a good place to live but there was still a hole that needed to be filled, there was still an empty seat at the table.

After finishing his tea he pushed the chair back abruptly and left the table, "I just need some time alone,"

"That'll make a change," the Hare shouted as he threw a teacup at the Hatter's head which only missed by an inch.

Later on that evening the hatter was laid on this back on his balcony staring up at the stars and wondering whether somewhere Alice was staring at the same stars and thinking about him, he crossed his arms over his chest like a vampire and a tear rolled down his cheek cleaning the dirt on his face where he hadn't washed in so long. The night had cleared up after the rain had gone, it was strange weather the sky had opened in one place letting a strange light through that should have been yellow like the sun but it was tainted blue, it had been strange weather that seemed to reflect the Hatter's mood.

There was a knock at his door which he ignored, they knocked again and then a small voice made an announcement, "There's someone here to see you," The White Queen said.

The Hatter ignored the White Queen and turned to his side and brought his knees up to his chest like an embryo, his whole body was moved into a position that took up the least amount of space possible. He had started to rock slightly and cry he opened his eyes to see the waterfall over the other side of the valley and all he could see in its beauty was Alice, the night air was the colour of her eyes. He looked like a child who wished to go back into the womb away from harm, where it was safe and where nothing could harm him or pull at his heart strings.

"My heart bleeds…it hurts," he cried.

He covered his face with his hands and carried on talking to himself, "Sometimes I just want to crawl up inside you and die." He put his hands on the marble floor and helped push himself up as he stood he walked to the rails of the balcony and held on tightly as he lifted himself over, his pale hands gripped fiercely and tightly at the bar so he wouldn't fall but now standing on the other side so close to the open air and to freedom he wanted to let go. He didn't need this safety net anymore, if he couldn't be with her he couldn't be.

He was about to let go when he heard soft footsteps behind him and smelt a familiar smell of English roses and honeysuckle and then he heard a voice meek and comforting, a voice that sent a chill up his spine.

"Hatter…" Alice whispered.

The Hatter couldn't talk it felt as if his throat had closed up in shock, he started to shake and felt a cold sweat come over him, what if he was delirious he didn't want to turn around and see he'd imagined it and then slip to his death. But what if it was her.

Slowly he turned his head round to the right and there bathed in moonlight was Alice wearing a pretty but plain light blue dress with flowers in her hair and giant blonde curls framing her delicate face. Her lips were soft pink and natural and her neck was surrounded by a diamond chain, she looked like a Queen. She held a gloved hand out to him and help pull him back to the other side.

"Alice," he whispered as a smile curved at the edge of his mouth.

"Yes Hatter I promised you I'd return and that I'd remember you, please don't do this," she said.

"Why?" As he looked down at the ground sadly thinking to himself that no one could ever love a mad Hatter.

"Because I need you," she replied simply. "I need to have you; I need you to take me like I could never let another man do…"