Caught In The Middle Chapter 23: I'd Rather Be With You, a home & away fanfic

Hi all! Sorry for the delay but work has been crazy busy. Doesn't look like it's gonna slow down for the next few weeks so I think the only time I'll have for posting - and writing - will be on the weekends. But the good news is I'm trying to give you an update on all 3 of my fics tonight so I hope you enjoy them 'til next weekend!

Ryhleigh - Always trying my hardest to post as often as I can :P

AuthorW - Becca sure is stunned but will she run away or after Gabby?

Lil - Haha that's just like Angelo to stick his tongue down Becca's throat just to once again make Charlie 'jealous' - well we'll see... I don't want this fic to end either but I'm really getting into writng TTH & HNA at the moment when I actually have the time for it. My new ideas for fics have been put on hold for the moment but hopefully I'll be able to explore them soon...

Bethers - Course CJ can read each others' minds - they're just so in love and in tune like that! Mmm CJ + romantic weekend = HOTNESS! But can CJ last the week before going away together...? :P

Kirsty - Love how you answered all my questions - guess you'll find out some answers soon :P

JSCO - Aww missing the pain inflicted on Angelo? I think this fic will just be some emotional pain to Angelo rather than physical pain for one - but emotional pain can just be as good to read about...I hope!

Enjoy guys!

.com/watch?v=YIADdtY9pQA

"I'd Rather Be With You"

"Sitting here, on this lonely dock
Watch the rain play on the ocean top
All the things I feel I need to say
I can't explain in any other way

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

Now here's the sun, come to dry the rain
Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain
You're the one thing that I'm missing here
With you beside me I no longer fear

I could have saved so much time for us
Had I seen the way to get to where I am today
You waited on me for so long
So now, listen to me say:

Becca's eyes bulged gently, as she realized what the pair meant, "I uh…I'm going for a walk."

"Huh?" Charlie responded confused, but Becca had already turned away from them and was walking down towards the beach. Joey sighed, "Well that went well…God we suck at setting people up!" Charlie frowned, "Yeah well I guess we surprised her…a little too much. Should have gone for a more subtle approach." Joey rolled her eyes, "We'll remember that for next time shall we?"

Charlie took Joey's hand, "You should go after Gabby…make sure she's okay…and also that she's not packing her things to leave tonight. I might go have a word with her other half." "You still believe they belong together don't you?" Joey grinned.

Charlie leant down and kissed Joey's forehead, "Still believing kept me from thinking I'd never see you again let alone that I'd never get to be with you." Joey squeezed Charlie tightly, and leaned up to peck Charlie on the lips, "You go help your girl and I'll help mine. Maybe we can help fix things and get them to realize they're meant to be…just like we were."

Ten minutes later Joey walked into Aden's apartment. The downstairs area was empty so she headed quickly upstairs to the room that she and Gabby had shared when they arrived, but once the pair had broken up Gabby and Becca had been sharing it. The door was open when she entered the room to find Gabby standing at the bed, packing clothes into her bag.

"Oh c'mon you can't just take off after everything," Joey begged. Gabby shrugged, "Why not? I've already made a fool of myself. I heard Becca ask why I took off and since she's not here with you I'm guessing you guys decided to tell her everything. Guess that's my fault for making such a big deal out of her making out with that jerk. It's not like I haven't had to put up with that kind of thing before. Now I've gone and made a big deal out of nothing and let my emotions get the bet of me."

Joey stepped forwards and grabbed a hold of Gabby's hand, stopping her from packing her clothes, "It is a big deal because it hurts you seeing her with a moron like Angelo. You can't just shut those feelings off and you couldn't be expected to pretend they don't exist forever." Gabby wiped away some tears from her eyes, "I knew I couldn't hide it forever and I was afraid of this. I've screwed up everything. Now she's never gonna wanta come near me. I've totally lost her completely now. I knew she didn't feel the same way."

"You don't know that. She probably just needs a moment for this to settle in…then she's gonna realize that she feels the same way for you. Just have a little faith," Joey insisted. Gabby shook her head sadly, "No…if she felt the same way she wouldn't need any time to get used to it…she would be here right now…telling me just how much she loves me too. And she's not here…so what does that tell you?"

While Joey was comforting Gabby, Charlie followed Becca down to the beach. She felt a sense of familiarity with the younger woman and had since she met her a week ago at Noah's Bar. Charlie may not have known the girl as well as Joey did but she knew what she was going through.

Their situation was so alike, assuming they were straight after dating men most of their life, then unexpectedly falling for a woman, the right woman. She hoped she could find the right way to give Becca the courage to face her feelings as Charlie was positive she was in love with Gabby, just as much as Gabby loved her. After finally rekindling things with Joey it felt right to try and help the other girls find each other.

Charlie found Becca sitting down with her knees pulled up against her chest on the sand only twenty metres away from her so headed straight over to her. Charlie sat down silently next to her and instantly noticed that Becca was sobbing quietly, "You okay?"

Becca shook her head, "Not really. You want to tell me again what it was you and Joey are trying to tell me?" Charlie sighed gently, "I think you know otherwise you wouldn't have run off. And…I'm guessing a part of you has always known…even if you didn't want to acknowledge it consciously."

Becca sniffled, "So it's true then…? Gabby wants to be with me…?" Charlie nodded, "You're not surprised are you?" "Of course I'm surprised…you're trying to tell me that…my best friend is kinda in love with me. How am I supposed to react to this?" Becca demanded. Charlie quirked her head to the side, "Kinda depends on how you feel about her."

Becca ignored her, "Do you know how long she's felt that way about me?" Charlie stared out to sea, "Joey told me that she's had feelings for you…pretty much since she can remember." Becca rocked herself back and forwards, "I thought she was happy in her relationship with Joey. I mean she's had other girlfriends too that she was happy with but I thought her and Joey were really good together. Then they broke up suddenly and…Gabby said it was a mutual decision 'cause Joey still had feelings for you and Gabby…"

"They cared about each other quite a lot…but their relationship was more based on…being each others second choices," Charlie told her, "Neither of them truly wanted to accept that they loved other people…but they both knew it. Joey was brave enough to accept that she still loved me…and Gabby's struggled to admit how she feels about you 'cause she's certain you don't feel the same way and she doesn't want to ruin the relationship you do have. Do you have feelings for her?"

"I've known her my whole life. She's been my best friend through everything…this changes everything," Becca answered dismissively.

Charlie exhaled softly, "That's okay…you don't need to answer that conclusively yet if you don't want to. You know I…kinda have a fair idea of what you're going through. There was…a long time that I didn't want to believe my feelings for Joey were sexual ones. I'm sure Joey told you how badly I freaked out. And maybe I'm not the best example since I was only comfortable admitting my feelings to her but not to everyone else. It took time…but Joey waited for me. Now we're happy together and we've got a chance to have something special. You've got the same chance you know….if you have enough strength to take it."

Becca wrapped her arms tighter around her legs that were pulled up against her chest, and whimpered slightly, "I think I did know…on some level…I've always known. I was too afraid of calling her on it 'cause I knew it would ruin our friendship so the only way I knew to deal with it was to throw myself into relationships that I knew would never work. But you know what? She never got jealous…not once…well not that I saw anyway…so I figured I was just imagining it. She's never just walked out on me like she did tonight after seeing me with a guy. She's never reacted like that."

"Maybe she was just covering up the pain of seeing you with guys…anyone except her. I think she got so used to hiding her feelings that she couldn't express any jealousies to you. Now that she's opened up and told Joey about all her feelings…it's like she can't hide her feelings anymore. I think she was pretty close to telling you the truth tonight…just seeing you with that guy…who by the way is my moron of an ex-boyfriend so if he gave you his number you'd had better delete it unless you want to deal with a lovesick stalker…anyway…I think it probably just re-affirmed to Gabby that according to her you don't have feelings for her. Wouldn't surprise me if she's gonna try and run away from this. So do you wanta go after her?" Charlie asked.

"I don't want her to run off back home," Becca sobbed, "I don't want her to leave me. I never wanted anything to come between us. I like the fact that we're not your typical friends who fight over the same idiotic guy. We've barely fought about anything serious since we've known each other and I don't want to lose that. Gabby thought for sure I'd hate her when she came out to me several years ago but I didn't…I supported her 'cause of how brave she was to tell me the truth. I just don't get how this could be the thing that ruins our friendship. Why did it have to be this?"

Charlie reached out her hand and placed it on Becca's shoulder for support, "Is that all you're scared about? Losing your best friend?" Becca nodded silently, so Charlie continued, "You're not…afraid of the change in your sexuality?" Becca breathed deeply, "Of course I'm scared about that. I've never considered being with another woman before even when Gabby came out to me. I'm not against being gay…I just never thought it'd be something I would have to deal with."

"Could you deal with it for her?" Charlie asked lightly. Becca fell silent for a moment before replying, "I think I could be okay with the idea of being gay…or bisexual…or whatever for her. She's worth it. Guess you know what that's like." Charlie smiled shyly, "That I do."

Becca closed her eyes, "I can say that I'd be okay with it and that she's worth it…but it might take some time to get my head around it. I just don't know if Gabby thinks I'll be the one worth waiting for." Charlie raised her eyebrows, "The girl's being in love with you for years…I think she can wait for you to accept whether or not you want to be with her."

Becca opened her eyes, with tears glistening them, "And what if I try and be okay with it…that I try and make it work between us and I can't? What if the pressure gets too much for me and I can't be with another woman? I'll lose her forever if I give her hope only to take it away from her."

Charlie remained positive, "And what if you find that you can make it work between you? I know how scary it is to think that being with another woman is too much pressure. Only I gave into that pressure. You strike me as the kinda person who'd cope with anything for Gabby. Not to mention…what about what you'll gain if you have what it takes to give it a chance? It might be a small risk…but I think it'd be worth it…if things work out for you two. There's no reason they can't work out and you two can't be happily in love like Joey and I...except you need to work out exactly how you feel about her."

Becca lifted her head as she stared out at the water, "I love her…I'm just not sure if it's just a friendship thing or more… I mean…I think about her all the time. I miss not being around her. I might've been…a little jealous of Joey. All my relationships with guys just make me feel…empty. Even tonight…that guy Angelo…he was just been so charming to begin with and he was taking an interest in me…I'm supposed to feel something for guys like that aren't I? But then he just got so pushy…he suggested we go back to his place…so I kissed him and told him we'd get together another time just to get him to take a hint I didn't want to go with him tonight… Anyway…I just thought it was something I was doing wrong with these guys…that I never gave enough of my time to them 'cause I…was too caught up with my friendship with Gabby. I just never cared about them anywhere near what I feel for her…what do you think that means?"

Charlie smiled quietly, "I think you answered that with you're first three words there…you love her. Maybe it's different for you because you two are such close friends…but you guys are lucky. You already know everything about each other…you've been through everything together. I would definitely call Joey my friend…but I'd give everything to have known her for as long as you've known Gabby. You know…find out what she was like growing up and how she became the person that she is. But hey…I've still got the fun part of getting to know everything about her and I'm looking forward to it. So what do you want to do now?"

Becca stared up at the stars, "You're asking me to choose between risking my entire friendship because…maybe deep down I've always loved her…more than I thought possible? Then admitting that's how I really feel about her…and accepting that I want a relationship with Gabby?"

Charlie chewed on her lip, "Accepting that you love someone is never easy. I had a choice to not accept my feelings for Joey…and it would've been the worst mistake of my life. I had to ask myself…would I rather see her happy with someone else knowing I wasn't the reason she was happy…or would I rather be happy with Joey? So what about you? Would you rather be alone always wondering…what could be between you? Or would you rather be with her?"

And in true cliffhanger fashion - find out Becca's answer next time guys!

Hope you enjoyed that chapter!