A/N: I'm alive! Some thankees to hand out before we get going:
~ Holly Marie Fowl ~ her awesomesauce AF/PJ crossover got me back to the AF fandom.
~ Wonder ~ for guilt-tripping me into promising to work on my AF fanfics during summer break. And for the new title! ("Insert Intriguing Crossover Title Here" just doesn't flow, does it?)
~ Eoin Colfer ~ for finally writing the 7th AF book! :D He makes me oh so very happy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Eoin Colfer (do stalk, don't own), Artemis Fowl, Artemis Fowl characters, the Artemis Fowl setting, Walt Disney, The Little Mermaid, or The Little Mermaid plot. *pouts*
Police Plaza Headquarters
Haven's finest - the Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance squad. One could generally find them out on a mission or going to or from an intense workout session. On this particular day, though, all the LEPrecons had gathered in Police Plaza headquarters for a ceremony.
The auditorium was filled with all the Lower Elements Police officers, and civilians took the extra seats. Wing Commander Vinyáya stepped up to the microphone onstage, tapping it and wincing at the interference she caused.
"Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for coming to the LEP's annual awards ceremony. Please give it up for PR's pet project, Commander Julius Root."
A cacophony of applause erupted form the seats as the commander stepped out from backstage, his face red as usual, and with a nod to his fan base made his way to a special balcony seat he always reserved for himself.
"And for our leading technician, Foaly," Vinyáya said after the noise had died down.
Applause exploded again as Foaly the centaur emerged as well, waving and smiling. He eventually followed Root up to the balcony.
Below, Vinyáya began the introductory speech. Root basically tuned this out, instead turning to speak with Foaly.
"This ceremony is going to be something, eh, pony boy?" the commander asked, his tone semi-friendly for once. "My officers – some of them, anyway – have earned their awards. Especially Captain Short," he added, a hint of fatherly pride in his voice.
Foaly nodded pleasantly. "You bet, Julius," he agreed. "Your officers are the best, and Holly is the best of the best." Or at least, Holly would be the best, if she weren't running off the surface all the time, thought Foaly dourly.
"Don't call me Julius, civilian," Root said, turning to pay attention to the ceremony again.
"…Thank you, Trouble," said Vinyáya from below. "And for our second award . . . this officer is the most decorated in Reconnaissance. She has proved herself time and time again . . . for this year's service, she has earned the purple acorn. Please give it up for . . . Captain Holly Short!"
What was probably the loudest clamor of applause yet erupted from the audience. After a minute or two, Vinyáya spoke again, with a note of confusion in her voice.
"Captain Holly Short?"
The aisles were empty. The captain wasn't there. A vein pulsed in Commander Root's temple as he stood and walked down to the stage to accept the award of Holly's behalf. Strong words were to be had.
On the Surface, Near the Coast of Ireland
Holly was at that moment not even in Haven. She was aboveground with N°1 (who had all but attached himself to her for her safety after two time tunnels). She had been sent on a brief mission early in the morning, but she was taking a pleasant trip over the ocean before returning to Police Plaza.
The sun was sparkling over the rolling waves as she took a deep breath of fresh air. One couldn't duplicate the salty sea breeze, even with the technology available to the People. She spread her arms wide, enjoying herself immensely. N°1, who was attached to her moon belt, was skimming his fingers across the water as they flew.
Holly slowed her flight speed slightly so she could reach into her pocket and withdraw a small mechanical device. She had found it in a human junkyard during her mission. "Look at this, N°1," she mused, turning it over in her palm. "It looks so…unremarkable, but fascinating. What do you think it is?"
N°1 glanced around nervously. "I, uh, don't know."
"I bet Mulch will." Holly pocketed the device. "What're you looking for?"
"Sharks," N°1 shivered. "We're in a danger area, you know."
"You memorized the human maps?" Holly asked incredulously.
N°1 shook his head, eyes wide. "No, I remember from last time."
"We've never been attacked by sharks!"
"Well, no, but we've seen them here before."
Holly breathed out patiently through her nose. "Don't be scared. We're fine."
N°1 exhaled. "Okay. This is fun….excitement…adventure….danger lurking under every wave…"
"We're perfectly safe!"
The a very unsafe-looking shark jumped out of the water to snap at them.
"D'Arvit!" Three guesses which of the two that was.
"Shark! Shark! We're gonna die!"
The shark swam into deeper water, and they didn't see it for a few seconds…Until there was a splashing noise behind them, and N°1 squeaked in terror as she saw the shark open its mouth to swallow him whole. Holly lashed out with a foot, connecting her booted heel with the edge of the gaping moth. The shark fell behind, but a smaller splash sounded as well. Holly checked her pocket in alarm to make sure her prize was there.
It wasn't.
"We have to go back!" Holly shouted, pulling up short.
"No we don't, no we don't!"
N°1's protests fell on deaf ears, though. Holly had already turned around and was peering anxiously into the water as she flew above it.
"I see it," she said eventually.
"Okay, grab it and we'll g—bllrrggbb!" N°1 was cut off mid-word when the elf dived unexpectedly into the ocean. After fifteen lung-bursting seconds, Holly grabbed the device, and they broke the surface.
"Holly," N°1 cried shrilly, pointing a shaking, wet finger at the shark following them.
Keeping a firm hold on the technology with one hand, Holly used the other to unholster her Neutrino and send a few low-setting shots towards the marine animal. It decided to leave them alone after that.
Once they had donned the cam foil, the two of them flew full-speed towards (insert town here). The infamous dwarf Mulch Diggums owned an apartment there, under an alias.
Holly alighted in a neighboring alley. She unhooked N°1 from her moon belt and pulled a Mud Man baseball cap and coat on to hide her ears and adult proportions.
"Stay under the cam foil," she whispered to N°1. "I'm going to see if he's home."
Holly left the alley and turned a corner to the door of the apartment building. A doorman stood there. In her best child imitation, Holly approached him. "Hey mister," she asked in a cutesy voice, "is Mitch Digs home?"
The doorman fell for the ruse. "Sure is, honey," he said kindly. "Come on in." Holly gestured slightly for N°1 to follow her as she progressed into the building.
Mulch's Apartment
"How are you, Mulch?" Holly asked.
Mulch closed the door and looked up momentarily from a five-layer sandwich. "Hold onto that thought." He opened his mouth and devoured the food in one gigantic bite. With a pleased burp, he returned his attention to Holly. "I'm good."
N°1, having removed his cam foil upon entering the room, nudged Holly. "We found another human thing. In a junkyard."
Holly held out the device. "We don't know what it does."
Mulch took it and began pressing buttons randomly. "This is a very special human toy," he said importantly. "It's a sort of music player. It's called a dinglehopper."
"But what about the extra stuff on the sides?" Holly asked, pointing.
Mulch inspected the "stuff" in question. "Settings," he declared. "You found this in a junkyard? I don't know why someone would dump it. Whoever made it deserves an award."
Holly shrugged. "It didn't look special. My luck, I guess." Then Mulch's words sank in. "Award?" she moaned, hitting herself on the forehead with the heel of her hand.
N°1's eyes widened. "The ceremony was today?"
Holly grabbed the "dinglehopper" and shoved it into her pocket. "D'Arvit, Commander Root is going to kill me! We have to go, N°1. Thank you, Mulch!"
N°1 barely had time to grab the cam foil before Holly grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out a side door to a balcony. From there, she hooked him back onto the moon belt and propelled them into the air.
Although they were shielding too quickly for the human eye to see them, cameras could catch them. And at that moment, two cameras were. More specifically, two Koboi versions of iris cams, currently in use by Mervall and Descant Brill. They were sending live feed of the LEP captain to the pixie genius herself.
Opal Koboi watched Holly and N°1 fly onscreen. "Yes, fly, Miss Short," Opal mocked sourly. "We wouldn't want to miss the LEP's awards ceremony. Awards ceremony, oh please. When I was in business, I knew how to do things. Gorgeous parties with fantastic feasts and everyone who mattered. Then that idiot Root had to take me off the market. Now look at me. I've wasted away to practically nothing. Banished and exiled and practically starving." She patted her slender figure mournfully, popped a truffle into her mouth, and returned her gaze to the screen.
A thought occurred to her as she watched the elf fly. "Mervall! Descant!" she cried through their earphones. The pixie brothers raised their heads abruptly at the address; Descant hit his head on the low ceiling of their hiding place.
"Yes, Miss Koboi, O Intellectual Sun of the Universe?" Mervall ventured.
A devilish smile began to creep across Opal's face. "Keep an extra-close eye on Captain Short," she ordered slowly. "She may be the key to Commander Root's undoing, and to her own as well."
All the mechanical interference under the earth couldn't disguise the dangerous tone of her voice. The Brill brothers grinned at each other. They didn't envy either of the elves.
Later, Back in Haven
N°1 was hiding behind a wall as a red-faced Root yelled at Holly. He pitied her, but the commander scared him.
"We've known about the ceremony for months! You've known about the ceremony for months! You knew it comes around every year! And you knew you had to be there!"
N°1 risked a peek. Holly was standing with her hands clasped behind her back and her face irate. She kept repeating, "Yes sir," but each time she did so her expression darkened. Foaly was talking to a sprite on Root's right, but he was obviously listening in. N°1 gathered his courage and ran out to her defense.
"It wasn't her fault! We just lost track of time! Because, see, she went out on her mission, and I had to go with her. Well, you knew that already. But, anyways, she went on her mission, and then it wasn't quite time for the ceremony yet, so we were flying, and a shark attacked us! But then we were safe, and we went to visit Mulch—" N°1 stopped too late. Root was furious.
"You lingered up there again?" Root roared. "How many times do I have to tell you!"
"But, Commander—!" Holly broke in.
"No buts! You are going to endanger yourself and the People, all because you won't listen to me!"
"I'm eighty years old! I'm not a child!"
"As long as you work in my unit, you have to obey my rules!"
"But if you would just listen-!"
"Not another word!" Root bellowed. "I never want to hear of your visiting the surface for pleasure again! Is that clear?"
Holly gritted her teeth. "Yes sir," she said, seething. Then she turned and stalked out of the room. N°1 ran after her.
Root exhaled loudly, dropping wearily into his chair. Foaly trotted over, munching a carrot. "I don't want to hear your opinion," the commander warned his friend.
Foaly shook his head, knowing the true reason behind Root's reaction. "Nope, Julius. If Holly regained her memories, things would be much worse than they are. She's mad now, but at least we don't have to worry about her and Fowl. I have to agree with you. Actually, what she needs is a supervisor. Someone has to make sure she stays firmly planted in Haven."
Root looked at Foaly as if in a new light. "Don't call me Julius, centaur. But you're right."
"Well, what can I sa—"
"And you are perfect for the job," Root continued. "That is your new assignment. Keep tabs on Captain Short, and report anything unusual back to me." By unusual, he was referring to anything that could cause her to regain her memories.
Foaly looked as though he had just had his carrot stolen. "But I-"
Root nodded. "Yes. Go on now, pony boy, go do your new job." His face was beginning to darken a shade, so Foaly went.
"From a lab tech to a babysitter," he sighed. "I am so unappreciated." Mumbling unhappily, he shoved open the double doors and trudged out the way Holly had gone. He had lost sight of her, so he started walking towards her house. "How do I get myself into these situations? I should be designing amazing equipment or working on my computers, not chasing after some headstrong Recon officer." His friendship with Holly aside, he really did have better things to do.
Then Foaly caught sight of Holly and N°1 sneaking suspiciously into Holly's backyard. His curiosity piqued, he followed them into a large shed. They slipped inside - Foaly barely managed to get in before the door closed. Even so, his tail was caught. He pulled on it anxiously, eventually managing to free it and then stumbling further inside. He looked around and drew in a sharp breath.
There were cabinets, chests, shelves - all overflowing with Mud Man paraphernalia. Holly herself was lounging over an armchair, studying her latest acquirement.
"Maybe he's right," she said to N°1. "Maybe there is something wrong with me. I just don't see things his way. I just have this feeling that not all humans are horrible."
Both Foaly and N°1 shifted uncomfortably at that. The feeling of Holly's would actually be her subconscious remembering her friendships with Artemis Fowl and Domovoi and Juliet Butler. Artemis had been mind wiped as well, so he couldn't remember her. The Butlers, along with everyone else who had been part of the adventures with Fowl, had been sworn to secrecy so as not to trigger any memories.
Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?
Holly stepped gingerly onto a moving ladder, pushing off from the wall so she slid along the perimeter of the room. N°1 watched her, pity in his eyes.
Look at this trove, Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you think, 'Sure, she's got everything'
I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty!
Holly jumped nimbly off the ladder, landing beside a chest. She withdrew several boxes full of human items and showed N°1 their contents.
But who cares? No big deal. I want more…
I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see, wanna see them dancin'
Walking around on human-size feet
She took him by the hand and twirled him once in a wistful imitation of Mud Man dancing.
Three feet tall, you don't get too far
Height is required for reaching, dancing
Strolling along without hats down a street
She tried to get a human camera off a top shelf but was too short and had to use a stool.
Up where they walk, up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free - wish I could be
Part of that world
She pulled a globe out of a box and spun it on its axis, trailing her fingers over the surface.
What would I give if I could live up on top of the earth?
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?
I'm sure on land they understand
That they don't reprimand their officers
'Cause they're women, and are eminent,
Ready to stand
She put that away and glanced out the window at the artificial sun. She sighed, wishfulness colliding with reality.
And ready to live how the people live
But help out pollution and save some animals
Conserve energy and energy - burn?
When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love, love to explore that world up above?
Out of the ground
Wish I were bound
To be part of your world
The music faded, and all in the shed was quiet. Until Foaly tripped over a fallen soccer ball and came crashing to the floor in front of them.
"Foaly?" Holly and N°1 cried simultaneously. The centaur had a frustrated look on his face.
"Holly," he huffed, shaking off human items that had caught on him, "if your commander knew about this place—"
Holly dropped to his eye level in worry. "You're not going to tell him, are you?" It could mean the end of her career in Recon.
Foaly looked at her sternly. "I won't," he said finally. "But we are getting out of here. If anyone passed by and saw us . . ." He let it hang in the air, instead slipping out the door. Holly and N°1 followed him out.
The nearby shot rumbled faintly; Foaly ignored it, but Holly's eyes shone. She had lived beside it long enough to know that that noise meant a human ship was leaving the harbor aboveground. She ran towards the shot, hoping to make it before the ship went too far out to sea.
"Holly!" Foaly cried. He and N°1 ran after the elf, barely managing to jump inside the shot before the doors closed. The pressurized shot flew up hundreds of feet in seconds, slowing to a stop none too soon. The ship was barely off the dock.
"Come back!" The centaur's voice was faint behind her. Holly barely noticed the faint coolness of the water as she dived in to follow the ship. Shaking off droplets, she climbed up some rungs on the side to a hole in the side. From there she watched the humans intently.
Crewmates and guests alike danced to an orchestral serenade. Two little boys were running between people - sometimes playing, sometimes dancing (sort of), always laughing.
The younger of the children, a blonde, was distracted from this game. Slowly he crouched and on his knees crawled towards the edge. Holly gasped and threw herself to the walled side so as not to be seen. After perhaps thirty seconds, she turned to see if he had gone: she found herself staring into big blue eyes. The little boy gave her a childish kiss on the cheek.
"Beckett!" called someone from aboard the ship.
The child grinned at Holly and left her to answer the call. Touching her cheek pleased, she saw him run over to a tall, slender boy in his older teen years with thick black hair and blue eyes.
The older boy staggered slightly when the younger ran and forcefully hugged him around the legs. "Calm down, Beckett. I'm no one new."
Holly's eyes lost focus when she took in this older boy. The blue eyes, the black hair, the voice - she was no longer seeing the present, but rather the past - roughly six years of the past spent in the company of one Artemis Fowl II, who was undoubtedly the teenage boy in front of her. Memories flashed before her eyes. Her past affection for the boy was renewed, as much by remembrance as by newness. Her head dropped into her cupped hands as she watched Artemis play with his younger brother.
"Excuse me? Can I have everyone's attention, please?" said a low, familiar voice. Butler. Holly almost laughed at that. He was seven feet tall and standing in the center of the deck. How could he not have everyone's attention?
Butler coughed. "Thank you. Well, we are gathered here to celebrate Artemis's nineteenth birthday. I want to present his first gift." He motioned; a crewman exaggeratedly whipped the cloth off the gift. It was a very, very large book – an unabridged dictionary, the spine read.
Artemis looked pleased with the gift, though most of the people on board appeared put off by its size. "Thank you, old friend. It's definitely unique."
Butler eyed his charge. "We had hoped, your parents and I, that it would be a wedding present."
Artemis avoided his gaze, instead staring off into the distance. "Please, old friend, let's not argue over this again. Surely you aren't still upset because I didn't take a liking to Miss Paradizo?"
Butler glared at the gathering clouds in the sky, then returned his eye to the boy. "Artemis, this isn't just me. The entire country wants to see you happily settled down with a nice girl."
Artemis turned to smile slightly at the Eurasian. "There is a certain girl out there, somewhere, whom I will be perfectly willing to marry. I simply have not found her as of yet." Butler looked like he was preparing to dispute this, but lightning interrupted any words he may have said. Rain began to fall, slowly at first and gradually faster.
"A hurricane is coming!" shouted a crewman. "Stand fast! Secure the rigging!" Everyone aboard the ship rushed around, trying to help with one thing or another. Even Artemis himself assisted with the sails.
Holly grew anxious for the passengers as the storm intensified. While probably not a hurricane, the elements of the storm were definitely threatening. At some point, the humans began loading into lifeboats. It was around this time that a stray bolt of lightning hit the mast, setting the sail on fire and causing the wood to break.
Artemis was climbing into the final lifeboat when there came a piercing shriek from above – Beckett screaming from the deck. He had been forgotten in the commotion. Holly reached up from the rungs in an attempt to help the boy, but fierce winds and waves swept her into the sea before she could make it.
Disregarding his suit uncharacteristically, Artemis dove from the lifeboat into the water and after swimming a few excruciating feet climbed up some rungs on the side of the boat. Shielding his eyes from the smoke, he glanced around anxiously for his youngest brother. Eventually he caught sight of the blonde head sticking out near a higher level.
Artemis ran over and extended his arms to the child. "Jump, Beckett!" he called hoarsely over the raging weather. "You can do it!" Though wailing, Beckett obeyed, and Artemis caught him (barely). The eldest Fowl son then sprinted to the edge of the burning ship, where Butler waited with the lifeboat. "Butler!" Once his bodyguard realized what he planned to do, Artemis dropped Beckett as lightly as possible into Butler's waiting arms.
He stole a glance around the ship. The fire had spread quickly, and now it had nearly consumed the entire top deck. What concerned the teenager most, though, was what the fire was about to consume – the fireworks ammunition. Coughing, Artemis jumped from the ship into the water, just in time to avoid the immense explosion that followed.
Though he escaped the worst of the damage, he was still subjected to its aftereffects. His simple momentum had propelled him deep underwater, and the energy boom created by the explosion pushed him even deeper. Despite fierce efforts to reach the surface, he ran out of air just before he could make it. His eyes closed as he drifted, unconscious, through the dirty seawater.
Holly, who had managed to grab onto a floating barrel, caught a glimpse of a familiar black-haired boy bobbing with the waves. She swam against the current towards him, eventually managing to secure a grip on his shirt. Clutching her old friend, the elf began the difficult journey to land.
After a long swim with more than her fair share of swallowing and spitting out water, she was able to crawl onto the shore and lay Artemis out on his back. The boy coughed up some water but hadn't moved other than that. Seeing that Holly was growing anxious, Foaly and N°1 came out of hiding behind a large mound of earth. The centaur came and sat beside her.
"Is he . . . dead?" Holly asked hesitantly, her throat tight.
N°1, who had also taken a seat beside her, lifted Artemis's foot to his ear. He gave Holly a pitiful look. "I can't make out a heartbeat."
Holly was distracted by further coughing from the teenager in question. The coughing brought up some water, and then he began to breathe normally.
"He's all right," she said, smiling in her relief. "He's just like I remember. Older, but basically the same." Foaly and N°1 exchanged nervous expressions at this statement but said nothing.
What would I give to live where you are?
What would I pay to stay here beside you?
What would I do to see you smiling at me?
The sun shone through the parting clouds, warming them. Artemis shuddered once as he slowly awakened.
Where would we walk
Where would we run
If we could stay all day in the sun?
Just you and me
And I could be
Part of your world
A child's cry of "Artemis!" alerted Holly to the approaching humans – Butler and the blonde twin, Beckett. The three fairies scrambled to hide again behind the large mound.
Butler knelt beside Artemis as Beckett ran in hyperactive circles around them. "You really delight in these sadistic strains on my blood pressure, don't you?" asked the giant, only half joking as he pulled his Principal to his feet.
Artemis staggered as he stood, still unsteady. "A girl . . ." he started, ". . . rescued me."
Butler chuckled. "I think you swallowed a bit too much seawater, Artemis."
Artemis gazed out over the land. "It was the girl from my dreams. She was talking to me."
Butler's expression tightened just a bit. "Well, I think we had better get you back to Fowl Manor." With that, he gathered the two Fowl boys and led them towards the Bentley.
Once the humans disappeared from sight, the three fairies rose from their hiding place. "That was too close," Foaly said nervously. "Nowwe're going to go back to Haven and forget this ever happened. The commander doesn't have to know. You won't tell him," he gestured to N°1, "I won't tell him. I will stay in one piece." Holly, however, was oblivious.
I don't know when
I don't know how
But I know something's starting right now
Watch and you'll see
Someday I'll be
Part of your world
Mervall and Descant, ever the diligent workers, had been watching the entire exchange with their Koboi iris cams, sending the live feed to Opal, who was thrilled. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" the pixie laughed. "I can't stand it. It's too easy! The captain is in love with a human. And not just any human – Artemis Fowl! Her commander will love that." Her youthful face twisted into a malicious grin. "Commander Root's headstrong, lovesick officer would make a charming addition to my closet." She glanced, pleased, toward her colossal closet, where distressed "boots" lay in the shadows. Feeling the situation merited it, she popped another truffle into her mouth, swallowed it appreciatively, and then laughed madly.