Emma didn't get the chance to answer. Her mom pulled up before she could get a word out.
"Emma Christine McKay why aren't you at school? And why are Sean and Jay here? I'd better get an explanation right now!"
"Mom, I can totally explain."
"So can I, Mrs. McKay."
"I'm sure you can, Sean, but the only person I want to talk to right now is my daughter."
"Call me, Em." Jay shouted from his car. "Good seein' you, Mrs. McKay," he said with a wink.
"I'm sorry about all of this," said Sean. "Really, the whole situation is my fault."
"Just go, Sean. If I need any clarification on anything than I'll call you."
"Okay. Emma, uh, I'll talk to you later."
"Goodbye Sean," Spike said pointedly.
"So tell me why I got a call from Snake today telling me that you weren't at school."
Emma was seated on the couch. Her mother was pacing around her. She kind of felt like a prisoner being interrogated.
Emma sighed like she always did when she was frustrated. "Sean told everyone about me being deaf and I had to get out of there. He humiliated me and I just felt like the walls were closing in."
"Emma, you've been dealing with this your entire life. Sean shouldn't have told everyone but you need to stop being ashamed of what's happening to you. Things aren't going to get any better."
"Everyone at my last school knew about it. I was always the special kid. No one at Degrassi knew and for awhile I was normal. It was nice having friends who didn't know. And having people not feel sorry for me because of it."
"There are always going to be people who feel sorry for you. That is a fact of your life. But none of your real friends in Vancouver felt like that. And I doubt that any of your friends are going to start now. You're not less of a person because of your hearing problem. I've tried to make you see that but you just can't."
"You've tried to make me see it but he never did. I don't know why through all of this I keep seeing Dad in my head. I've wanted his love and his approval my entire life and I've never gotten it. I think I need to know why he's treated me the way he has."
"Emma, this is ridiculous. Your self-worth is not dependent on him or me or anyone else."
"My head knows it but my heart is having trouble catching up with that. Mom, I need to go to Vancouver."
"To see your father?"
"I just need to know why. I just want an answer."
"This is what you need?"
"More than anything."
"Fine, I'll let you go but there are going to be a few conditions. The first being that you're not going to go until Friday so you're going to go back to school for the rest of the week. You will be back on Monday. And when you get back we're going to get you a counselor and look into a support group. If you're not willing to do those things then you're not going anywhere."
"I have to go back to school?"
"Yes. Part of growing up is learning how to face things head on. If you want to go to Vancouver and confront your father then you're going have to go to school and confront your issues there. I raised you to stand tall in the face of adversity and that's what you're going to do today. Oh, and I'm going to drive you back and make sure you go in. And be sure that if you ever pull a stunt like this again, your hearing problem isn't going to be the thing that's preventing you from having a social life, it'll be me that's doing that."
Emma was relieved that the day was over. She'd seen the stares and people whispering but no one had been rude. Nor had anyone been overly nice. Jay had winked at her in passing and Sean kept giving her long, searching looks but he hadn't said anything. Emma hated to admit it but her mom was right. Damn it, her mom was right.
"Did you know that you're now the most feared girl in school? Seriously, even more than me and that really pisses me off."
Emma smiled as Paige and Manny approached her. She'd returned to school and after some questions about what exactly was wrong with her; everything between them was back to normal.
"Why are people scared of me?"
"Rumor has it that you can read lips. That means you know what people all around you are saying even if you can't hear them. Like, you have a goldmine of information right there. My gosh Emma, you have a gift! It's almost like having ESP." Manny was getting excited thinking about all the information they could garner because of Emma's talent.
"Manny, my story, zip it. Anyway," Paige paused to whip her long hair over her shoulder, "what she said."
"It's not like I use it to eavesdrop on conversations or anything."
"But you could, right?"
Before Emma could answer her phone rang.
"Hello? Yeah, I'll be there soon. Okay. Bye." Emma flipped her phone shut. "That was my mom and I have to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow."
Emma hurried out the door and quickly looked around to make sure no one was watching her. She then made her way to Sean's car. He had called, not her mom. She hadn't wanted Paige or Manny to know. She needed to talk to Sean without anyone else's opinion running through her head.
Sean spotted Emma coming and opened her door before she got the chance.
"I'm glad you came."
"I don't want Paige or Manny to see us so let's get out of here."
Sean drove toward the waterfront. It would be empty since it was late November and freezing.
"I wanted to talk to you."
"About what you did yesterday?"
"About everything."
"So talk."
"I liked you from the moment I saw you. That is genuine. And then I found out about your hearing problem. I liked you but I also wanted be the good guy who wasn't going to be afraid about dating a girl with a disability.
"Gee, thanks for being so generous."
"You're right, I was a jerk. I am a jerk. It doesn't change the fact that I like you. Like insanely thinking about you all the time like you. But you have to know that it's scary for me. If we're together in five or ten years I'm going to have to watch you completely use your hearing. I don't know that I can handle that. I don't want to see you in pain and I know this is killing you. What if I'm not strong enough to stand by you through this?"
"I'm losing my hearing, not dying of cancer. Yeah, I'm scared but you were the one who said that whatever happens we can deal with it."
"Yeah, that was my hero boyfriend moment. Now I'm talking to you as a normal guy who is afraid. I want to be with you but you need to know that I'm not always going to be the perfect boyfriend."
"I'm well aware of that after this morning. I know you want us to be together but we can't right now. I need to be comfortable with what's happening to me and I'm not yet. I'm been dealing with this for seventeen years and I'm still not where I need to be. We're not going to be any good together if we're both not ready to accept my disability. It's a part of me but it can't define me anymore. I can't let it. And you can't let it either. Until we both see me as just Emma and not Deaf Emma then it's just not going to work." Emma had to swallow back tears at her last statement. She'd never wanted anything more in her life to work. But they couldn't be together, at least not now.
"It's over? Damn it, I didn't want this. If I could take back what happened this morning then I would."
"It was going to happen eventually. One of us would have fallen under the pressure and things would have been a lot worse. I'm going to Vancouver this weekend to see my father. I think after that we can work at being friends."
"Can we not be just friends for a little while longer?"
"Why?"
Sean leaned in and kissed Emma. At first she wanted to resist but she needed to say goodbye. And she knew she was going to miss this. She was going to miss him.
This is the longest story I've ever written. And I've been working on it for much longer than any of my other stories. And I still have ideas coming. Soon we'll meet Shane. And I think we're going to have some Jay and Sean. I hate them fighting so I want to move them back to being friends. As for Sean and Emma, I just don't know. I like them together but I also like Emma and Jay's interaction. I also like Emma being strong and independent. I like happy endings but I'm a believer that happiness doesn't always involve having a guy. So who knows where I'll go. I never really know until I sit down and write how things are going to turn out. Thanks to everyone who is reading. And thanks to you that are still reviewing. I know it's hard to stick with a story when the writer is spotty at updating so I appreciate those of you that still are. My classes start back up tomorrow and things are going to get busy again so please be patient with me.