disclaimer: you know the drill.
The time he had had to settle into the idea of them dating before the briefing hadn't helped one bit. If anything it had made it worse. Imagining them together as anything more than friends stung more everytime he thought about it. Especially when she was sitting right there with him, unknowingly stealing his breath away.
She was just so...Carter, all the time, when she was figuring out all her doohickeys, or speaking to him in her techno-babble, even just eating blue Jell-o like she had been in the commisary. It was all those little things that had made him fall in... no, not love with her. He couldn't admit that. He couldn't admit it before and he still can't, especially not now.
Ever since he had overheard them the mental pictures he had been having kept getting worse, Daniel and Sam. Sam and Daniel. No Jack, no one cared about Jack.
He twirled a pen back and forth between his fingers, hoping it would distract him from his thoughts. It wasn't working too well.
She watched the blurred motion as the pen flicked back and forth quickly between his fingers. Daniel was completely oblivious to his bored spectators as he prattled on about the race they should encounter on P3X-something. She looked back at the Colonel, what was wrong with him? He was acting so... odd and she had no idea why. Maybe he had overheard something and was upset that she didn't want him to know it was her birthday.
She studied his face for a moment. It was back again, that mask that had been there when they first met, she wondered if something that simple that could have caused this. He looked up feeling her gaze and she saw the briefest flash of pain before his eyes went dead and he continued to stare at her, emotionless. She flinched away from the blank look she was recieving. No, it's not something that simple, this was something big, something important, something... something.
She looked away and back at Daniel, she didn't like that dead look in his eyes, she didn't like the mask he had set into place. Daniel sent her a quizzical look, and she realized she had been frowning, she smiled warmly at him and nodded her head. He returned the smile before he continued.
She had to talk to Jack er...the Colonel and find out what this was about. She glanced once more at the sullen Colonel.
And she had to do it soon.
Ugh, he looked back down the pen in his hands disgusted. That smile she had sent Daniel, it was too much, he focused hard on the pen, on the blurred image he was seeing, trying to forget where he was, trying to forget how much this bothered him.
That smile kept flashing through his eyes, he remembered when she had smiled at him like that. He was losing control of his emotions and he couldn't let that happen, not in the briefing room, not in front of her.
So he focused even harder on the pen swiveling back and forth in his hands. The thoughts just kept swirling around in his head, Daniel and Sam. Sam and Daniel.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even realize the briefing had ended until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He flinched away from the touch and she pulled back her hand sadly, "Sir?" she asked, her voice startling him out his own, personal hell.
He drained all emotion from his face and looked up at her, "The briefings over, we're leaving in 0100 hours," she said quietly.
"Right," he said getting up from his seat. Daniel and Sam, Sam and Daniel.
"Is something wrong, Sir?" she asked softly.
'Everything,' he thought. He turned to her and saw the pleading look on her face, begging him to tell her why he wasn't okay. Daniel and Sam. Sam and Daniel. He plastered a smile on his face and lied through his teeth. "Nothings wrong, Carter," he said before leaving the room.
She watched his retreating form, what was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he tell her, had she done something wrong? Should she follow him? She decided that she should and quickly followed him out of the room. They walked through several hallways, she could tell he was muttering under his breath but she couldn't hear what it was that he was saying. He was heading toward the locker rooms and she followed him in, it was SG-1's locker room after all.
She stood against the wall so quietly that he didn't notice she was there. Jack... The Colonel, she had to stop slipping with his name... leaned his forehead against the cool of the lockers still muttering to himself though she still couldn't make out what it was that he was saying.
"Dammit!" he breathed harshly, pulling his head away and punching the locker as hard as he could, denting it but also causing his knuckles to bleed. He pulled back his hand and started shaking it, it was then that he noticed Sam. He spun around looking her full on, eyes wide, the pain in his hand forgotten.
"Si...Sir?" she stammered. She was scared, she had never seen him lose control like that. And she was even more scared of whatever had caused him to lose control like that.
He just stared at her, she watched his eyes carefully, watching the change in them. Surprise... pain... nothing. There it was, the mask, he didn't say anything, he just stared and so did she.
"Are you okay?" she whispered.
She saw the hint of bitterness in his eyes, "Yeah, I'm fine Carter," he said, but knowing him as well as she did, she didn't miss the hint of sarcasm in his tone. There was something else there too. There was pleading, he was begging her to stop questioning him, to forget about it. But she wouldn't, she couldn't.
She tried not to think about why this was bothering her so much. Pretending it was because she was worried about her friend and not because of anything else. Not because she cared a little bit too much about her commanding officer. No, that wasn't the reason, at least, that's what she's trying to convince herself of.
"Then what was that, with the locker?" she asked, still speaking quietly though she didn't know why. She studied him, hoping he would give something away, something in his stance or face, but nothing, he held himself with the composure of a seasoned actor. Or a man with a lot of security clearance. The dead look he was giving her even more un-nerving than before.
"Oh that," he looked toward the locker, trying to come up with some way to cover that up, he hadn't known she had been there. His thoughts had been screaming at him, Daniel and Sam. Sam and Daniel.
He picked up a towel and wiped the blood away from his hand. All that could be seen were a few scrapes, he was stalling until he came up with a good excuse. "It owed me some money," he said sarcastically and hopefully. Hoping she'd smile and laugh and pretend right along with him.
Her eyes were looking right at his and the intensity of her gaze was making him crumble. He would give something away if she didn't stop soon, he silently prayed she would walk away and leave him to his own misery.
She gave him a stern look, "Sir," she warned. Just then Daniel and Teal'c walked in, unaware of the situation they had just interupted and headed for their lockers.
Their eye contact broke and he looked at Daniel, grateful to have something to look at other than Sam's... Carter's eyes. Her gorgeous blue eyes, the eyes he fell in love... uh, not love with.
"Hey guys," Daniel said, opening his locker and pulling his shirt over his head as he began to change.
'Oh, sure,' Jack thought, 'show off your muscles for your new girl.' He scowled at Daniel and then turned to his own locker and took off his shirt, begining to change himself.
"Hey," he replied trying to keep all emotion out of his voice, so as not to give himself away. Daniel noticed nothing of course, after all, he was still Daniel. Carter continued to study him, he saw her watching him out of the corner of her eye as she headed toward her locker.
Teal'c being slightly more observant than the completely oblivious archeologist looked between the two and raised an eyebrow. Seeing the trademark look, she shook her head slightly and the Jaffa bowed his head and continued to his locker.
Jack looked at Sam as she pulled all her stuff from her locker, she would wait for the boys to leave to change like she always did. He pushed away all the horrible scenarios entering his mind in which she invited Daniel to stay with her. He scowled into the depths of his locker, this was going to be a long mission.
A/N: so what'd ya think? I know I made Jack much more angsty in this one... it was just easier. The next one will be the mission, I hope to write that one soon.
Thanks so much for all the reviews! please tell me what you think of this one!
sorry it took so long to post, i seriously believe that my teachers look foward to sadistically giving as much homework as possible.