Chapter 7 of this FF cross-story is up. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for the comments.

C.J. opened up the door to her cabin and walked inside to turn on some heat. She went into the small kitchen to make herself some tea before she headed off to bed. Feeling tired and more than a little bit dizzy, she sat down at the table while the kettle boiled on the stove. Her head still spun from everything that had just happened after he had walked back into her life. She had never expected to see him again.

His family had buried him in his grave and she in her heart. Now while trying to move on and build a new life for herself, he had suddenly returned as if he had never left. So many emotions had collided and competed for control of her that she felt overwhelmed. Shock tempered with joy that he hadn't died in the explosion along with anger that he had kept a secret of such magnitude from her. But then she realized, He wasn't the only one withholding information. She had kept a secret from him too and she wasn't sure whether that put her on equal footing with him or not.

She heard a knock on the door and wondered if it were him. Then she remembered that she had asked him for space and knew he would respect that even if he didn't like it. At least for a little while.

"Coming," she said, as she turned off the stove and walked into the living room.

She opened the door and saw Maggie on her steps holding a package.

"Shelli asked me to bring this to you and I figured it was on the way so I just dropped by," Maggie said.

C.J. took the package and saw it was leftovers from Dave's party.

"Thank you," she said, "It smells really good. I didn't get a chance to try the food."

Maggie looked uncomfortable.

"Look I just wanted you to know that if I had known that Josh…I mean Matt had a girlfriend already, I wouldn't have…"

C.J. interrupted her.

"How could you know Maggie," she said, "He wasn't even using his real name let alone his real background."

"It must have been something serious that happened to go through all that trouble to hide his identity," Maggie said.

C.J. sighed.

"It was," she said, "but that's still no excuse for not telling the people who loved him that he wasn't dead."

Maggie paused.

"He seems like a nice guy," she said, "I kind of figured he was hiding something. Or someone."

"We were together at one time," C.J. said, "I don't know what we are now."

"Well if you really care about him," Maggie said, "Can't you forgive him?"

"Probably," C.J. said, "but I need some time to figure things out.

Maggie shrugged.

"That makes sense," she said, "You shouldn't go back to him right away. Make him wait a little, work for it."

"It's not like that," C.J. said, "I have more than one person to consider here. I have to do what's best for both of us."

"Are you going to tell him," Maggie asked.

"Of course," C.J. said, "I would never keep something like that a secret from him."

Matt settled in his room, his mind racing with all kinds of thoughts. He had only been in Cicely a couple days and already he felt at a loss of what to do. C.J. was furious with him and rightfully so. Looking back, he realized that he should have never kept her and his family in the dark about his whereabouts after the car bomb exploded. Changing the past wasn't something he could do now as much as he wanted to revisit it so he had to move forward.

Two months he had spent away from L.A. fulfilling his end of the bargain that had saved his life. When he walked away from C.J. and stepped inside the car, he had no idea that someone had rigged it with enough explosives to turn it and anyone inside of it to a burnt crisp. He had hated the bargain he had to make to have survived but he had honored it and now he was officially back in the world of the living. Only everything had changed during the time he had been gone and C.J. had disappeared.

When he had returned to L.A., he had stood at a cemetery for hours looking down at his own headstone. His uncle had taken him there after he had gotten off the elevator of his penthouse suite and had watched as his secretary Chris had collapsed in a faint on the floor and Uncle Roy had to revive her. His uncle hadn't acted nearly as shocked when he saw him. Not surprising given his extensive background as a covert operative but he had shaken his head at his nephew when he had tried to explain himself.

"Where's C.J.," were the first words out of his mouth and his uncle had told him that she had left the city to start a new life for herself. He had felt regret and shame fill him as Roy had outlined the last two months of her life, facing danger and narrowly avoiding abduction on two occasions. At some point, C.J. had hit a turning point and had enough danger, deciding that she needed to leave to find some place anonymous where she could hide for a while. Matt sensed that his uncle knew more than he was saying but didn't push him except to ask where she had gone. Roy had refused to share that information at first but at some point when he saw the forlorn look in his nephew's eyes, he had given in and provided the information. He also warned Matt that C.J. might not be thrilled to see him.

"She was devastated when she thought you died," Roy said, sipping some scotch, "and two months passed before she came out of herself but she finally did."

"I'm more sorry about that than you will ever know," Matt said.

"Just remember that when you see her and proceed cautiously," Roy said, "Don't cause her any more pain than she's gone through already."

Now he knew full well what his uncle had met when he gave him that advice and what had he done? He had made a bad situation even worse. He had gotten her upset and she had pushed him away, not that he would blame her for that. Then these strangers in this small, remote town had circled the wagons around her. Not that they treated him like the enemy but they made it clear how protective they felt towards her. And despite their wariness of his intentions, he felt thankful that they were looking out for her during the time he couldn't do it himself.

Hers had been the last face he had seen before he got inside the car to drive off for what he had thought was supposed to be a meeting but someone had clearly had other plans when they tried to use that as an opportunity to kill him for getting too close to discovering behind the murder of a scientist whose wife had contacted them for help in proving that what had been written off as a laboratory accident had actually been an act of murder.

The case had also been one of the most intense of Matt's entire career, in ways that went beyond professional. Something he had never anticipated when he had first taken the case.

He showered and then got a glass of brandy before going to bed. As he sipped it, he found himself reflecting on the events of the past several months. He always returned to the image of C.J. both before he stepped inside the car and just hours ago in the Brick when she had discovered he had survived the explosion. That was the image he held onto when he finally fell asleep.

C.J. sighed as she tried to get to sleep. For being as tired as she felt, she couldn't drift off. Each time she tried she saw his face and how he looked after she had left him She knew she had deeply hurt him but she had been so shocked when he appeared in front of her and while part of her had been overjoyed, another part of her felt angry that he had left her and his family in the dark for so long.

She had tried to reconcile all these conflicting feelings in her mind and in her heart so that she could figure out what to do next. After all, she had more to consider for herself. She had her pregnancy too and it felt strangely wonderful but challenging to be in that position where she had to consider someone besides herself. Not that she would ever keep Matt away from his child or in the dark about the outcome of their last night together. She would have to tell him the truth but she needed some time. Anger still filled her, an emotion that she couldn't put aside as much as part of her wanted to do so. She accepted his explanation for why he had been gone although she sensed there was more to it but she felt shock as well at seeing him again. With her emotions still in turmoil inside her she drifted off to sleep.

C.J. got up late the next morning and ran around trying to get ready so that she could meet Ed at the Brick and head off to conduct more interviews. She felt better after a night's sleep but still angry at Matt for his deception. Even though she knew he probably had no choice in the matter, she still couldn't bring herself to let him off the hook. Besides, she had to think for herself and her unborn child. Their unborn child, the one they had created together before he died. And that included putting the father in his place if necessary.

She steeped her tea while she gathered her things together and put on her jacket. She had stood in front of the mirror this morning and tried to button her jeans, only to find that they didn't fit. At first, she thought she had eaten too much the night before but then she remembered that she was pregnant. She marveled over the changes in her body's shape but realized that she would have to get larger clothes. Shelli and Ruth Ann had given her a recommendation of where to shop and she decided to do it after she and Ed had returned to the Brick for lunch.

She picked up her things and closed the cabin door behind her.

Matt woke up and immediately felt the chill, remembering he was in the middle of Alaska and not back in balmy L.A. Then he remembered the events of last night and closed his eyes for a moment. C.J. had left angry with him and he had fallen asleep knowing that he had wounded her deeply all over again. Now he had to figure out how to fix it. The woman he had loved more than life itself for longer than he had realized when they had finally crossed the line from being best friends to lovers. As he held her in his embrace afterward while she slept, he stroked her hair and practiced what he would tell her when she woke up. The words he had still not said.

Because naturally, it hadn't gone as he had rehearsed. He had received a sudden phone call that someone was coming to pick him up and he had decided to let C.J. sleep. Only when he left the bed, she had woken up realizing the warmth of his body was no longer there. She had looked up at him while he dressed and he told her he had to leave her for a while. All she had to do was wait several hours for him and he would return with the information they needed. She had simply nodded and then gotten up to find her own clothes and help him get ready for the meeting. The meeting that never happened because within seconds after he had stepped inside the car, it had exploded, taking her world with it. He knew he would have to work hard to bring it back.

His uncle had explained to him the depths of her mourning for him while he had lived elsewhere working for the people who saved his life but had exacted a bargain in return. And he hadn't realized until last night, just how high a price he had paid. He wanted to talk to her, he needed to talk to her but he knew she needed her space as she always did the rare occasions she had been angry with him.

C.J. entered the crowded Brick and saw Ed talking to Shelli near the kitchen. She walked up to him and both of them looked at her as if surprised to see her there.

"You came," Ed said simply.

"I'm fine really," she said, "I'm sorry about last night. It's just that seeing him again was such a shock."

"He was dead," Ed said finishing his eggs.

Shelli's mouth opened wide as she recalled the party the night before.

"I had never seen a man come back from the dead before," she said, "I mean I learned about Lazarus and Jesus in church and all that but to actually see it."

"It's surrealism at its best," Ed said, nodding.

C.J. sat down after ordering some oatmeal.

"We buried him, or somebody," she said, "His uncle, his cousin and I and all his friends. I really thought he was gone forever and I'd be all alone."

"You have your baby," Shelli said, patting her own swollen belly, "Mine kept me awake most of last night."

"That must be exciting," C.J. said, "to feel that life within you."

Shelli shrugged.

"It was kind of cool," she said, "but I've got the worse heartburn, I've got to get up and pee all the time and I've still got several months to go."

C.J. smiled at the younger woman.

"It will be worth it to you won't it," she said, "And I'm sure Hollings is excited."

Shelli smiled broadly.

"He can't wait," she said, "Of course he'll probably take him fishing and hunting."

Ed nodded.

"And to meet Jesse."

C.J.'s eyes narrowed.

"Who's Jesse?"

"He was a bear. A great big bear."

Shelli nodded in agreement with Ed.

"He was really something," she said, "But Hollings said he's still out there even on the other side of the universe."

"He died," Ed explained. "But his spirit still walks."

C.J. nodded.

"I used to hear stories like that when I was a little girl on the ranch.""

Shelli shook her head.

"But last night was like something out of the movies," she said.

Ed brightened.

"It's been done many times."

"Is he still in the doghouse," Shelli asked, "I'd be majorly POed if Hollings pulled a stunt like that but I'd forgive him after a while."

"It's not a matter of forgiving," C.J said, "It's whether or not I know that he'll be there for us. I never thought he'd ever leave like that."

"What was he, a spy or something?"

C.J. ran her hand through her hair.

"Or something…"

The case had started simply enough until she and Matt had realized that they would have to pretend that they were a couple. Not that it was difficult to play the part most of the time because their long-time friendship had afforded them a comfortable chemistry but as the case continued, they found themselves drawn further into their roles.

"So where are you going today," Shelli asked.

Ed ate the last bite off his plate. C.J. had been famished despite the events of the previous night and finished her breakfast in due order. She reached to get her things, before they walked out of the Brick.

Matt stepped outside the rooming house where he had spent the night. The sun shone through a thin layer of clouds and the remnants of the previous night's snow began to melt, leaving patches of green underneath. He headed to the Brick passed the radio station where Chris sat giving his morning sermon on whatever topic struck his fancy. Joel and he reached the front of the Brick at the same time.

"How's life among the living," Joel asked.

Matt just looked at him.

"Sorry I couldn't resist," Joel said, "but some people might consider you a medical miracle if they didn't know the truth."

"I never died," Matt said, "My life was saved by individuals who wanted something in return."

Joel put up his hands.

"You don't have to tell me the details."

They walked into the Brick and sat down near the counter. Matt ordered breakfast while Joel settled for a coffee and Danish.

"How is she," Matt asked.

Joel looked confused and then comprehension hit him.

"Oh you mean C.J.," he said, "I'd say pretty well considering she got the shock of her life last night."

"I'm sorry about that," Matt said quietly, "but I had to see her again."

Joel sipped his coffee.

"What is it between you two," he said, "Are you married?"

Matt paused.

"Not legally."

Joel's brows shot up.

"Now there's one I haven't heard before," he said, "What are you talking about, not legally?"

Matt sighed.

"It's a long story," he said, "One that is between her and me."

"That's fine with me," Joel said, "My only concern about her is as her physician."

"Is there anything wrong with her," Matt asked.

Joel looked at him.

"I can't tell you that," he said, "Doctor/patient confidentiality."

Matt looked frustrated and Joel couldn't blame him but he had taken a sacred oath when he became a doctor and he intended to follow it.

"Is she sick?"

Joel folded his arms.

"I just said I couldn't tell you but there's nothing seriously wrong with her."

"So she's fine?"

Joel nodded.

"But that's all I'm going to tell you," he said, "except to be careful about giving her any further shocks though I'm not sure what would top last night's."

"I'm not here to do anything to jeopardize her health," Matt said, "and she's perfectly safe with me."

"She seemed more than mildly upset with you last night," Joel pointed out.

Matt couldn't argue with that so he didn't try.

"Of course Maggie was thrilled that she didn't kill you," Joel continued.

"I'm sorry about how I handled things with her too," Matt said, "She's a very nice woman."

Joel made a face.

"She has her moments," he admitted, "when she's not regressing back into that preppy high school girl who grew up in Gross Point Michigan's upper society."

"She plays a mean piano."

Joel looked surprised.

"I didn't know that," he said, "I knew she had a piano in her old house that Chris used as part of his performance art phase but I never knew she played it."

"I didn't know about her boyfriends," Matt said, "but it's foolish to hold that over her head."

"Yeah well, she had quite a streak going there for a while," Joel said.

Hollings walked over to them.

"Good morning," he said, "And what are you up to today?"

Joel nibbled on his Danish.

"Marilyn told me I have no patients this morning," he said, "So I'm planning on catching up on some medical journals I've been meaning to read."

"I've got to make some phone calls on business," Matt said, "if I'm planning to stay here for a while."

"She'll come around," Hollings said, pouring more coffee, "You just have to give her time."

"I'm not going to push her," Matt said, "I just want to know if she's all right."

"Despite the fact that you came back from the dead into her life," Hollings said, shaking her head, "If I had done that to Shelli…"

"I don't blame her for being angry," Matt said, "My uncle told me how hard my death was on her."

"She spent a lot of time thinking that she had to move on with her life," Hollings reasoned, "but now you've thrown her this curve ball."

"I know," Matt said, "and I've got a lot to make up for."

"She'll be back with Ed at noon for lunch," Hollings said, "They always stop by for the soup of the day."

Matt nodded, thinking he might be coming back later after he had taken care of some business.

C.J. and Ed headed back to the Brick and parked some distance away so that C.J. could pass by the maternity store and take a peek at the clothing. Not that she had to commit herself to any particular style but her clothes were getting tighter. Ed left her alone and she walked down the street and stopped by the store looking in the window, fascinated by the clothing.

"There you are," a voice said.

She looked up and saw him, standing there. Matt watched the expressions change on her face. He had saw her walking from across the street and watched her for a few minutes before taking a deep breath and heading on over. She looked wary but her face had smoothed and she didn't appear as angry.

"I've been here for a while," she said.

"Looking in the window," he asked.

She shook her head.

"With you gone, I had to move on so I came here," she said, starting to walk away from the store. She felt fortunate that she hadn't gone inside the building. If he had seen her inside there, it probably would have caused him to ask questions she didn't have answers for yet.

"The people here seem to really care about you," he said.

She tilted her head.

"They do," she said, "I don't know what I would have done without them."

"I'm glad they helped you," he said, "when I couldn't."

She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"I'm trying really hard to understand that you didn't have a choice Houston," she said, "but I just come back to the point where you let me and your family believe that you died in that explosion. You let us believe that for several months even after we laid you to rest."

"I can't undo what I did except to say I'm sorry," he said, "I never meant to hurt you."

She tried to laugh but it wouldn't come.

"But that's exactly what you did," she said, "For weeks, I didn't feel like I could go on each day. For a while, I didn't want to."

"But you did," he said, "You did move on."

She hesitated and he saw something flicker in her eyes before it was gone.

"I had to," she said, "I didn't have a choice."

When she said that, she knew it was true. The decision had been made for her when she found out that her queasy mornings had a cause.

"You look good," he said quietly.

She looked away for a moment.

"So do you," she said, "And part of me is very happy to see you again, more happy than you could know but…"

"Another part of you is worried that I'll take off again," he guessed.

"Or disappear, or have to die again," she said, "I can't go through that again."

He looked around him and then looked puzzled.

"C.J., what are you doing here," he said, "It's a maternity clothing store."

She shrugged.

"Shelli's pregnant," she said, "I was looking for something for her."

She hated lying to him but she wasn't ready to reveal that secret yet.

He looked at her thoughtfully then smiled.

"I know I have a lot to make up for," Matt said, "but I'm back and I'm not going anywhere."

"I wish I could believe that," she said, softly.

"I'd like to have a chance to prove it to you," he asked.

She thought about it and he could see her struggle to control her emotions. He had enough trouble reining his inside. It felt like an eternity while he waited for her answer.

"Okay," she said, "I'll give you that chance."

"Fair enough," he said, "Can I start now by buying you lunch?"

She looked up at him and nodded.

"I'd like that very much."

He smiled to himself as they headed off to the Brick and watching him, C.J. felt her heart begin to melt just a little bit.