A/N: Let me start with. I'M SORRY. I'M SOOO SOOO SORRY. That took an annoying amount of time and were I you, I would kill me.
So if you would like to death threat me, I understand completely. I really have no excuses except that school and camp monopolized my time. AND IM SORRY.
Anyway here's the conclusion of the story, the ACTUAL final chapter that I've been saying was coming for a while now. I really hope you like it! It took me a while to write!
PLEASE review to tell me your thoughts, be they thoughts of death or otherwise (hopefully otherwise. But if they are deadly, I thank you for reading anyways).
She stared blankly at him, still unsure if she hated him or loved him in that moment. She stood, her arms crossing against her chest, watching his eyes wander, decidedly avoiding her, "So? You came here to talk. Talk," It wasn't a request. And oh boy, if he said the wrong things...
"Um..." he said, finally looking at her, "Look... ahh, I'm sorry..." he said, she raised an eyebrow at him, asking what else he had to say. Her face was still red and the tear tracks made by her make up were still obvious, but she held her composure well. A fact that she was really proud of. "I just... I saw you... and him... together and you were talking about secrets and how you didn't want me and T' to know and then you..." he stopped and took a breath," then you kissed him. And I assumed..."
She stared at him in disbelief, "That. That's it?" That stupid little secret is what ruined everything.
"Well," he started, but she didn't wait for him to finish.
"You got all that because of a tiny little kiss!" she shouted, somehow finding her anger again. He winced.
"Well that and then you were holding hands and... touching..." he trailed off, it didn't sound nearly as convincing as it had seemed at the time. She was staring at him in complete disbelief and he knew she was going to start screaming at him again, he spoke before her rant could begin, "Well if that's not what the secret was then what is it?" he asked, deflecting away from the topic of his idiocy.
She sat back on the bed, the expression on her face changing from one of anger to one of sheepishness, "That's none of your business," she said, though her voice didn't sound nearly as strong as before.
"Oh, I think it is," he said, laughing a hollow laugh, "Come on, if you're not dating whats the secret?" he asked again.
She took a deep breath and mumbled, "It's about my birthday..."
"Sorry?" he said, his sarcastic bite coming back, "Didn't catch that."
"My birthday!" she said, practically shouting, "It's tomorrow, okay? I didn't want anyone to know, but Daniel found out so I asked him not to tell anyone."
"Wha..." Her birthday. He almost laughed, "Seriously?"
"Yes," she hissed. He couldn't believe it. Everything, all this hurt and confusion was caused by a stupid misunderstanding. It was like a bad joke the universe was playing on him. He had blown everything way out of proportion, he sank down onto the bed as well and lost himself in thought.
"Now you know! Okay!" she let out a quick breath, "So do you have anything else you'd like to say or are you leaving now?" she asked harshly. She didn't know why she had wanted to talk to him. She wished she hadn't, she felt even worse now than she had before. She hated him. She just wanted to be alone.
He pulled himself back to the conversation, "What do you want me to say, Carter?"
She laughed, another haunting sound with no humor, even she didn't know what she wanted him to say, she just wanted things to go back to the way they were before, before he went and screwed everything up, "I don't know, Jack!" she shouted, she didn't even register the use of his first name, "Maybe you could tell me why you did this? Why you assumed I was dating Daniel? Why you had to ruin everything?" she asked, trying to be cold, trying to be detached but failing miserably.
"Carter I..." he started, but he didn't know if he even knew why he had done that, done those things.
"Well?" she asked, the impatience in her voice obvious now.
"I don't know!" he shouted, but then his voice lowered, the rushed impatience gone as he calmed, "I don't know, okay? It's... it's just you... you drive me crazy, Carter."
"Oh I drive you crazy!" she shrieked. That bastard.
"No! No, that's not what I meant," he said, placatingly, putting up his hands as he spoke.
"Well what did you mean?" she asked bitingly, her anger and tears welling up again. She hated him for this, she really did, why did he have to have such control over her? Why is it that he was the only one who could make her cry? She continued speaking, her voice rising as her hysterics did, "Did you mean that you go as crazy as Ihave been, trying to figure out what the hell broke between us? What drove you to the point where you can't even look at me! Where we have to sit there in awkward silence because we don't know what to say to eachother! Where you walk away when I kiss you! Where you assume so easily that I love someone else even though I love you!" she bit her lip, finishing with an admission she hadn't planned on.
Oh. My. God. Did she really just say that? Did she really just let that slip? She turned away from him and sat on the bed, trying to stop the tears that had started sometime while she was speaking.
"Carter," he said softly, she loved him. She ignored him, still sitting there sobbing, "Carter," he repeated putting his hand on her shoulder, she loved him.
"Get away from me," she cried, ripping her shoulder from his grasp, her sobs getting louder.
He pulled his hand back, "What I meant was..." he paused, thinking of the right words to say as her sobs filled the tense silence, "Whenever I'm around you... I, I go a little insane. Well, more insane," he quipped, hoping to get a reaction out of her, but her cries continued. He hated that sound, her crying... he couldn't stand it because it meant he had hurt her, and he hated that more than he hated anything else in the world. "Because...Carter, look at me," he said but she didn't turn to face him, "Sam. Look at me." There was a sharp intake of breath as her name passed his lips, and slowly, ever so slowly, she turned to face him. He brought his hand up brushing her tears away with his thumb. She still refused to look at him, so he brought his hand under her chin and tipped her head up until their eyes finally met and there they were, those shockingly blue eyes, "Because I'm in love with you Sam."
"You... You're what?" she stuttered, her jaw dropping, his thumb traced a line across her cheek, slowly erasing the tear tracks.
"I love you," he said, a small smirk gracing his lips at her shock.
She didn't understand. How could he love her? How could he say that now? How could he mean it? And why was she believing him?
"No, you can't love me," she mumbled.
"Excuse me?" he asked gently, his hands never leaving her face.
"You don't love me," she said.
"Yes, I do," he said.
Why was she believing him? Why was it that when he said that she just knew he was telling the truth.
She stared at him uncomprehendingly, so he clarified as his hand slid down to her neck.
"I'm in love with my second in command, with my crazy archeologist's non-girlfriend, with the brightest astrophysicist in the world, with Major Samantha Carter, with you," he said, slowly drawing them closer together. She felt her last ounce of disbelief slide away, she didn't know why. Don't ask her, but she knew that he wasn't lying, that there was no misunderstanding between them anymore.
"Oh," she said, he could hear the smile in that mono-syllable. "But..." she started.
"No buts," he interrupted, her eyes looked electric now as they met his. Her mouth opened to say something, "Ah! No," he said.
And slowly... so, so slowly she smiled. And it was worth the world just to see that, "I love you, too," she whispered so quietly. He felt his heart fly to his throat, yeah... definitely worth it.
"Well, I'm glad we understand each other," he whispered, their lips were so close, so tantalizingly close, but as much as he wanted to, he just couldn't close those few inches. The whole duty and honor thing holding him back from kissing her as passionately as he could. There was a building anticipation between them for something would never come, he let it build on itself, let it grow, until the light feeling in his stomach nearly took him over. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of being this close to her, as bittersweet as it was. He didn't know how long they stayed like that, but the fact that she didn't move any closer meant she understood and that she didn't pull away meant so much more. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Why?" she whispered back.
"I'm sorry for being a jerk. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry that there are the regs. And I'm sorry that I can't kiss you right now," his breath warmed her face as he spoke.
"I think I forgive you," she whispered, having already forgotten her anger. She didn't know when she had forgiven him, but she knew that she had. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and she closed her eyes, savoring the sweet touch of his lips on her skin, before he pulled away. He loved her.
They smiled at each other for a few moments and then he said, "I think you should go get Danny boy before he thinks you actually succeeded in killing me."
She laughed, a genuine laugh, and his smile grew, "I'll go get him."
She walked toward the pink door with a goofy smile on her face and she only looked back at him once... okay fine, twice. When she opened the door, she stepped outside letting the door close behind her and found her archaeologist sitting on the floor. He jumped up as soon as he saw her, and though he saw the smile, his eyes looked her up and down at least three times before he visibly relaxed, "He's forgiven?" Daniel asked.
She nodded, "He's forgiven."
"You sure?" he said, not doubting her, but checking that she was okay.
"Positive," she said, that goofy smile still playing on her lips, "I'll give you the details later," she said.
"But do I really want details?" he asked with a mock grimace and she giggled.
"You might..." she said mischievously.
"What happened?" he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
"Ah, see you do want details," she said and he laughed.
"Yeah, I guess I do," he replied as they reached the door.
"Thanks Daniel," she said, turning back to him and hugging him tightly.
"What for?" he asked into her hair as he returned the hug.
"For being... Daniel," she said.
He laughed, "Anytime." She smiled into his shoulder.
They broke apart at the sound of the door clicking open, Jack stood in the doorway, watching the two with a smile she never thought she'd see again.
Daniel smiled sheepishly at Jack, "Sorry," he mumbled about his rude behavior.
"Oh don't worry about it Daniel, I'm impressed. I didn't know you had that in you," he said in his own way of saying I'm proud of you. And under that was a message just for Daniel. A thank you. A 'thanks for protecting her when I was too stupid to do it myself' sort of message.
Daniel smiled at Jack, and he knew he had heard it, that silent message of thanks, "Okay, now get out of my room, I do need some sleep," he said.
Jack stepped out of the door way, "Ah, yes. We can't have the archaeologist missing his beauty sleep," he quipped, tossing back an invisible length of hair with his hand.
Daniel caught the door as it began to swing shut, "Just don't get into too much trouble tonight," he said with laughter in his voice, letting the door close before they could retort.
She giggled as they began to walk down the hallway, their hands brushing each other as they did. Once inside the elevator Sam pressed the button for their floor, but Jack had other ideas, "I wish we could get into trouble tonight," he whispered into her neck, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing her back against his stomach as the elevator door slid shut.
She moaned quietly, "Hm... so do I," she whispered, her hands laying on top of his. He silently cursed the regs, which were once again the sole barrier between them. "But you know..." she said and he smiled. That voice. That was the 'Carter-I've-found-a-loop-hole' voice. He loved that voice.
"What?" he whispered against her skin.
"Accidents happen, if tomorrow we were to accidentally walk under the archway together, who's to say we weren't forced to kiss." He loved her. He really, really did.
"And if we're sharing a bed, who's to say you didn't accidentally snuggle up to me," he said.
"Now you've got it," she laughed.
"Yes, I do," he said, his voice dropping to be lower, more serious. He had her now... and that was all that mattered.
She swiveled in his arms and wrapped her arms around him, "Yes, you do," she whispered, her eyes not leaving his. Those crystal blue eyes, those gate colored eyes.
There was a ding that shattered their impossibly happy world as the elevator doors slid open and suddenly they weren't alone.
"Oh, hello!" Nanna said, a slight laugh seeping into her voice at the sight of the two of them jumping apart.
"Hi," Sam muttered, a blush painting her cheeks, "Nanna, right?"
"Mmhmm," she said, her dark eyes alight with mirth, "Now what were you two doing in an elevator? Alone," Nanna hinted.
Jack glared, "Talking," he said, to the point.
"Oh is that all," she laughed, "Well, I best be letting you two get back to... talking," she said, stepping into the elevator and shuffling them out, "Good night," she said.
"Night," Jack and Sam spoke at the same time. They began to walk away but Jack turned back, "Thanks," he said, as the elevator doors came to a close, and call him crazy, but he saw a bright light. The distinct light of an ascended being in that elevator... in the exact same sopt that Nanna had been standing, "Non-interfering my ass," he muttered.
"What was that?" Sam asked, grabbing his hand in hers.
He smiled, squeezing her hand tighter in his, "Nothing."
The walk back to the room was filled with a comfortable silence and the warmth of his hand in hers. Having both showered already they settled into bed and Jack didn't even try to go for the floor.
She settled close to him, her head on his chest, her leg around his and his arm around her. It was...perfect. It was bliss.
The next morning Sam woke up with an arm around her waist and his breath tickling the back of her neck. She settled closer against him, content to stay there for just a little while longer. She smiled, and for some reason could not remember why the world had seemed so awful just yesterday. Okay maybe not for some reason. Maybe it was the reason whose hands had a mind of their own as he came awake and traced non-existent patterns across her side.
"Good morning," he whispered into the back of her neck.
She rolled over, sliding closer to him in a way she knew she shouldn't, "Good morning," she placed her lips next to his ear and felt him shiver as she whispered, "Sir."
"Good morning..." Daniel said in an awkward interruption of their happy little bubble. They both jumped apart so fast they both hit the floor on opposite sides of the bed. Daniel gave Sam a smile as he offered her his hand, "Smooth," he whispered as he pulled her up.
"Shut up," she mumbled and smacked his chest as he tried not to laugh and failed miserably. Teal'c stood in the door way and smirked and for once she knew exactly what was going on in the big guys head.
Here it was.
There was the indescribable flower that was the color Carter. Yeah, he named the color Carter, and he liked it, it was the one word in his infinite vocabulary that he felt the color deserved.
There was such a small distance between himself and the archway. Between himself and Sam. And each step brought him closer to it. To them.
Sam was walking so close to him that he almost tripped over her more than once, but he didn't mind, not at all.
"Ah..." Corin said, as they stepped under the archway. They all turned to look at him but his cheeks turned the color of his robes and he mumbled, "Never mind."
"No, it's okay Corin," Sam said, taking a step closer to him and knocking off his baseball cap with the back of her hand, "Wouldn't want to break their tradition now would we, Sir."
He smirked, his arm looping around her back, "Of course not, Carter."
Time seemed to slow and the sound of the muttering towns people didn't matter. The pink faded to black and white as his sights set in on what he wanted.
The kiss was heated at first, too many years of pent up passion can do that to you. But it slowed and turned bitter sweet as they both remembered that this would probably be their last kiss for quite sometime. So he savored every second of it. Every nano second. Her lips were soft under his as her fingers ran through his hair. His hands held her too close, too tight. He held on to their last moment of bliss.
"Who knew accidents could be so fun?" he whispered and smiled when he heard that tinkling laugh.
The walk back to the gate somehow seemed shorter this time around. They were going back to Earth. To where their feelings weren't allowed. To home.
It was bittersweet. As she was sure it would be for quite a while. But there was a future there. Somewhere off in the distance.
But for now, she had this. She had Daniel and Teal'c. And she had him. Had his smirk and his grey hair. Had his laugh and his jokes. Had his happiness and his pain. She had his heart.
She took one last look around as she walked up the steps of the gate and said goodbye to the pink planet which held many of her secrets.
"Hey Carter..." she turned around and found his chocolate brown eyes.
"Sir?" she asked, a smile forming on her face to match his.
"Happy birthday," he said as he stepped through the gate. She laughed and followed him, back home.
FIN.
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