I'm sorry for the slow updates. I'm an amazingly slow writer xD.

Also, I've been necglecting to thank the reviewers, I just want to say all reviews are valuable to me and I hold them really close to my heart :)

~The Machine~

# Chapter 5: She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain #

It was past sunset at Playa de Losers, and there was still no sign of Courtney.

The news of the conflict had eventually gotten around among the other ex-contestants. An air of tension reigned in the resort, a tension that had its main source in Bridgette.

The blonde had been restless all day; almost too nervous to talk or eat at all, and too worried to be swayed by offers to surf or swim or distract herself in anyway. Trent, DJ and Gwen had stayed by her side all day, offering comfort as best as they could.

Right now she was sitting by the edge of the pool, hugging her legs to her chest, and staring off into the distance.

Trent sat by her, strumming a random melody on his guitar as he watched the blonde next to him. No matter how much they had tried to distract her all day, he knew Courtney hadn't once left her mind. She wouldn't breathe freely until they got a clue of where she was.

The suspense was killing them all, in different ways. Personally, he was worried sick about Courtney, but his own worry was mostly drowned out in trying to make Bridgette feel better. He, too, wouldn't breath freely until they found Courtney.

Gwen and DJ were taking it a lot better. In all honesty, they were the ones doing most of the comforting, but Trent was convinced that was because they hadn't read the infamous letter; they only knew half of the story, and only had half of the worries.

As for the others, they were all carrying out their normal lives, although everything had a strain to it. Even if they didn't like Courtney from before, the sight of Bridgette sick with worry was heart-tugging enough. In the end, Playa de Losers was immerged in a somber atmosphere.

So needless to say, it was highly noticeable when an oblivious Geoff came barging in.

"WHO-HOO, what a day! Who knew being wrapped up in curative cocoa leaves could be so much fun! I'm so gonna do this dayly! …Hey, why's everybody so quiet?"

Trent and Gwen looked at each other, unsure of whether they should tell him. DJ scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, and Bridgette had an indefinite expression on her face.

"Uh, guys? What's wrong?" Geoff asked, unsettled at everyone's silence.

Bridgette sighed. "Well, if you care… Courtney's missing. We can't find her," she finished with a sad tone.

Geoff's eyes widened. "What, seriously? But, Bridge," he kneeled down next to his worried girlfriend. "Why didn't you call me? You know I had my phone with me. I would've come in a heartbeat!"

Bridgette looked up, surprised at her boyfriend's attitude, and her features immediately softened. "Aw, babe, really? I thought you didn't care anymore!" she cooed happily as she went to hug him.

"Well of course! This would make for a killer Aftermath show!" he stood up, rubbing his hands together. "I can already see the titles: 'Ex-Total Drama Island contestant runs away in attempt to fix her broken heart'!"

Bridgette stared at her boyfriend in disbelief and disappointment. Then her expression contorted and she sprung up, interrupting Geoff's plotting. "Geoff!" she growled, gaining his attentition. "How can you be such a mean, egotistical jerk!"

Geoff stared in shock, forgetting what he was planning.

"She could be dead now for all we know! And all you're worried about is your stupid show!?" Those who had spent the day with Bridgette could clearly see she was blowing off the tension and fear that had accompanied her all day, but Geoff of course had been caught by surprise. "One of our friends, she could be dead! Dead!"

So absorbed was everyone watching the argument, they didn't notice a newcomer entering the scene.

"Who could be dead?"

All heads turned at the familiar polite, high-pitched voice.

Gwen pointed and spoke the sole thought on everyone's mind, "Courtney."

That was like a wake-up call for Bridgette.

"Courtney!" The blonde threw herself into her friend's arms, making the CIT gasp at the impact, and almost drop her bags.

A confused Courtney hugged her back anyway. "Wow, I… missed you too, Bridge."

The majority of the Playa de Losers made their way towards the two, wanting to find out what had happened, while Geoff walked in the opossite direction, muttering, "Damn, so much for that special…"

But if Bridgette heard him, she didn't care. She held on to her friend as one would to life, happy now the pressure that had been constricting her heart since this morning had been finally relieved. "Courtney, I was so worried! I'm so glad you're okay!" she spoke, barely registering what she was saying.

When she finally pried herself off her, Courtney smiled good-naturedly as she adjusted her bags, "Hey, what's with the energetic welcome?" she chuckled, and in another situation, Bridgette would've been questioned her uncharacteristically amiable demeanor, but right now she didn't pick up on it.

"Courtney, where've you been?" Trent, who was at Bridgette's side, took the word.

Courtney directed her smile at him, "I was in Vancouver."

"Vancouver?" Bridgette repeated.

"That's a little far to run away to, eh," Ezekiel commented to Cody, low enough for Courtney to miss.

"What were you doing in Vancouver?" Bridgette asked.

"Oh don't you remember?" she asked, still in her good disposition. "Today was the trial. And guess what," she paused for dramatic effect. "I won."

"You what?" Bridgette asked distractedly, still struggling to keep up with the reality that her friend was not dead, or harmed, or contemplating being dead, or even dismal at all.

"I won," Courtney repeated, either not noticing or not caring about her friend not following up. She threw her arms in the air and closed her eyes as she announced, "I, am back on the show."

"What? Really?"

"But how?"

"Seriously?"

"She's back?"

Other people's voices chimed in, and Courtney was concious in that moment that no one even thought it possible to get back on the show by filing a lawsuit. This notion made her feel even prouder of her accomplishment.

"Your lawyers actually beat Chris?" Gwen asked.

"Wait, you mean you get to have a second chance?" Eva demanded.

Eva's words sank in among the losers, causing everyone to momentarily forget their feelings worry for Courtney they had felt all day, to give place to ones of anger and jealousy.

Courtney's brow furrowed. "It would've been second change if I've been voted off fair and square. But I was wrongly eliminated, so it is perfectly licit that I come back," Courtney was on the defensive, but in truth, the bitter comments didn't really get to her. It was just like the losers to give up on a cause and then get mad at the one who worked hard and actually accomplished something.

She noticed Bridgette was still looking at her rather stoked. Then she remembered the way she had received her, and everyone's overall reaction to her arrival, and decided to ask, "Why, where did you think I was?"

Bridgette and Trent gaped at her. With no words coming to their rescue, they resorted for the plain truth. "W-we thought you'd killed yourself," Bridgette stammered.

Courtney seemed to choke on her laughter, "W-what? Why would you think that?" she giggled, as if the idea was ridiculous to her.

Bridgette leaned back, both she and Trent not knowing what to say to that.

And in truth, all the other ex-contestants were now beginning to feel pretty stupid for ever considering that option seriously. Having Courtney in front of them, being her usual lively self was like having reality set back in, after worrying over nothing all day.

Bridgette frowned. "Well why would you leave me something like this?" she asked, finally pulling out the troublesome letter. "It scared me."

Courtney directed her judgemental eyes to the paper she was presenting. She read the caption, 'To Bridgette', and her heart skipped a beat she realized exactly what the paper was.

Everybody watched as her expression turned dark, as she went to take the letter in her hands. When she spoke, her tone was tight, "Where did you find this?" Bridgette didn't answer, taken aback by her cold tone. "You weren't supossed to read this." She had her head lowered, and her eyes narrowed.

"It was adressed to me," Bridgette said.

"It was the let-out thing you told me to do," she looked up, some of her normal energy coming back to her. "No one was supossed to read it."

Bridgette stood, silent, as the events of the day slowly started to make sense in her mind. Meanwhile, all the rest of the watchers, including Trent, stayed in cluelessness.

She looked at her friend, who was fumbling to get the paper inside one of her bags.

She remembered some of the words she had read in the letter, that she now realized was very much the same as if she had read her diary, and looked at her friend with worry. "Courtney," she started. "if you really feel that way…-"

"I can handle my own problems," she said sharply, looking up to Bridgette, with such an intensity and decisiveness in her eyes, that the blonde shut herself right up.

She picked up her stuff and diverged her attention to the crowd around them. "And what are you all watching? Show's over people, now shoo!" She commanded, her good mood completely gone.

And when the crowd cleared, she herself took her leave, meeting no opposition, as it was supossed to be.

Courtney wanted to kick herself. She really did.

She got to her room and slammed the door behind herself.

How could she have been so stupid? It wasn't like her to leave loose strings! What was wrong with her?

She threw her bags on the floor and threw herself on the bed, burying her face on a pillow.

In all honesty, it wasn't all her fault. How was she to know people would come snoop around in her room and just happen to find a paper that, casually, contained her deepest and most secret thoughts? How had Bridgette even found it? Did she normally open her law books just for the heck of it? Seriously, what was wrong with that girl?

She looked up from the pillow and looked at the damned piece of paper.

Her frown softened and she felt a sense of cool clarity wash over her.

No, she told herself. The fault laid on none other than herself. She should've ripped or burnt that letter. She should've never added that part at the end. She shouldn't have written anything to begin with.

At the end it was all her own fault.

She got up and started to angrily rip the paper to shreds. This action gave her no satisfaction, because she was haunted by the knowledge that she should've done this earlier.

Arghh, stupid turn of events. She had been so happy half an hour ago.

She had finally accomplished what she had been working on for weeks non-stop. She had actually felt at peace with herself then, something that, for someone as self-demanding as herself, was very rare.

Courtney sat crossed-legged on the bed as she made a new resolution for herself. No more writing down your thoughts. It left her secrets open for others to find, it was evidence of her weakness, and it actually gave her a reminiscence of therapy.

She creased her mouth.

Yes, Courtney had been to therapy.

It had been after dad left, her mother had noticed her getting more hostile and closed on herself, which was pretty much ridiculous. She was nine, she was only trying to mark her territory and form her character.

It had been a complete waste of time. Therapy was for people who were unable to help themselves, not like her, who solved her own problems. She remembered telling the psychiatrist that her being here took time away from other people actually needed help.

The psychiatrist had patted her head and told her she was adorable.

But enough of the flashbacks. Courtney closed her eyes and told herself that from now on, all her thoughts would stay in her head, where no one could use them against her.

She would redo herself, into a person that did not make stupid mistakes like that. Shed her own being, like a butterfly, and become another person, one slightly more perfect.

She opened her eyes, feeling refreshed. She got up and started unpacking as she thought back to Bridgette's and, apparently, Trent's freaky conclusion-jumping. She struggled to understand their thought process. How had they resolved she had killed herself?

Was the letter that melodramatic?

She rolled her eyes. It was a little bit disappointing that at least Bridgette didn't know her better. She wasn't the kind of girl to lose it and suddenly want to end her own life. No, her life was simply worth too much. And she should know she always picked herself up in the end.

What had happened today was a perfect example of it. Twenty-four hours before, she felt like crap. And now, just a day later, she had flown to the courthouse and back, fired her lawyers, won the case herself, and gotten put back on the show.

And the pride she felt for doing all that by herself, that was already worth more than a million dollars, more than keeping the sympathy of the other contestants, and definetely more that getting back her boyfriend.

…

And, for now, that was enough.

Courtney's good mood was back next morning as she prepared for the ride that would take her to the Total Drama Action set. She couldn't stop picturing her glorious return.

The regular crowd that usually gathered to receive the new arrivals to Playa de Losers were gathered to say goodbye to her, though rather begrudgingly.

The collective concern that they all had felt for Courtney the day before had been easily forgotten, and replaced with an even stronger bitterness than they felt before, either because of the rough time she had made them go through the day before, or the fact that she got a second chance in the competition when they couldn't.

Before entering the lame-o-sine, she turned to the other ex-contestants with an easy smile on her face and, adopting the practiced polite tone that came so easy to her, she spoke;

"I want to apologize to all of you for yesterday. I really should've left a note telling where I was. I'm sorry for making you all worry. Especially Bridgette," she looked around, noticing probably for the first time that her surfer friend was not among the mob of apathetic faces. "wherever she is."

Her statement was met with the deepest indifference, indifference that she must have noticed, but that she didn't acknowledge as she elegantly sat in the seat of the limo and closed the door. (1)

And off she went to her fresh new start.

As the vehicle got closer and closer to her destination, Courtney promised herself that, from now on, she would do anything in her power to win.

Which, as was seen before, was a hell of a lot.

Gwen, Trent and Bridgette watched from the distance as the lame-o-sine that carried Courtney rode off, and the crowd of people dissipated, to go engulf in their normal activities.

Gwen, who stood glaring angrily after Courtney, pointed an acussing finger in her direction. "See? I told you that girl couldn't have killed herself. She's too damn proud," she told them.

Bridgette, who had been hesitant to go say goodbye to the CIT in question, lowered her head, unsure of what to say. Courtney had pushed her away so fiercely the night before, that she wasn't sure of where she stood as her friend anymore, or how she should treat her from now on.

Gwen flopped down in a huff, next to Bridgette and Trent, who was once again in company of his guitar.

"She wouldn't give people the satisfaction," Gwen finished maliciously, mostly to herself.

Trent looked at her. He could tell she was really angry. Gwen didn't usually bad-mouth people this way. Bridgette only listened, accepting.

And him? Well, he wasn't so sure what to think of Courtney anymore. It was like he had two different Courtney's; the stone-hard overachiever who had effectively bitched her way back on the show, and the emotional wreck who had written that tear-jerking letter.

He couldn't deny that letter had made him see her in a different light.

But, he didn't know what to do with that.

So Trent turned his attention back to his guitar, letting his worries flow away, as he stummed the melody that had been on his mind all day.

1: I just have to point out the amazing difference between Haut Camp-ture Courtney (Lindsay: "Nobody liked you that much." Courtney: "(horrified) Everybody likes me!"), and Ocean's Eight-Or Nine Courtney, who took the fact that everybody voted for her even though it wouldn't make any difference sitting down.

And Gwen may be too OOC. I think she sounds like Leshawna :/

Don't even ask me around the title. I went crazy for a bit there xP. Think I got tired from the old title formula.

~The Lighthouse