Chapter 13---Another FF update for this cross fiction. Hope you enjoy it and thanks for your comment.

Matt looked around the room at the Elks' lodge which as it turned out was just down the street from the Brick. The temperature had dropped a few degrees and Matt had been glad that he had packed his thickest parka for his sojourn to America's last frontier.

Chris looked up when they arrived and seemed very happy to see the three men who took some available seats.

"You made it just in time," he said, "We were just discussing refreshments."

Ed nodded.

"What about Hollings," he suggested, "He's on his way as soon as he closes up."

The other men nodded and Chris wrote a notation in his notebook.

"Great idea Ed," he said, "My brother Bernard will be coming down to give a poetry reading next week and will be bringing some friends who will provide entertainment."

Maurice piped up.

"Don't tell me it's going to be any of that touchy feely new agey music," he said, shaking his head, "because then yo u can count me out."

"Maurice I'm glad you brought that up," Chris responded, "No, it's going to be an eclectic mixture of different musical disciplines."

"How about folk tunes," one man said from the back.

Chris nodded and waved his arms.

"That's good," he said, approvingly, "Keep those ideas coming. Just let your mind flow."

Joel turned to Ed.

"He's really thrown himself into this wholeheartedly."

Ed nodded.

"Yes," he said, "He's the perfect organizer for this party. We pick him every year."

Matt listened to the meeting half heartedly as his mind began to wonder. Part of him wanted to grab Joel and force the truth about her medical conditon out of him but the rest of him realized that he would have to wait for C.J. to tell him herself. He knew he had a lot of road to travel before she would trust him again. Still, he was willing to do whatever it took on her time table to convince her that he was here to stay. Murray had thrown a fit on the other end of the phone line when Matt had notified him that he had decided to extend his stay in Cicely. But once Matt had explained it to his corporate president, Murray had calmed down and taken a deep breath, telling him to do what he needed to do before returning to L.A. The problem was that Matt didn't know when that would be given C.J.'s reluctance to leave Ciceley including her new friends who had stepped forward and taken care of her when he couldn't. There hadn't been a moment when he was dead to her and the rest of the world when he hadn't thought about her and the night they had spent together before their world had blown apart. When repaying his rescuers for his life, he had wondered about her but even when he finally had paid off his debt and returned home, he had been shocked to realize she had left town.

"This is really not my idea of a great time," Joel grumbled next to him, looking at his watch.

Matt looked at him.

"You don't like parties?"

Joel smiled easily.

"I like brie and wine and fine music," he said, "I'm a city guy."

Matt shook his head at the doctor. How could anyone be surrounded by such quiet beauty as the Alaskan wilderness that spread endlessly outside the town's limit and complain about it? Matt knew it probably wasn't easy to be in hock to the state of Alaska for four years but the people there had paid for Joel's medical schooling and the least he could do was give back something to them.

"I wonder what the women are doing," Joel asked.

Ed shrugged.

"Playing Scrabble?"

"No I mean what are they talking about," Joel said, "I bet you the Scrabble tournament they've got going is just a guise so they can sit around and talk about us men."

Ed nodded.

"Could be."

Joel continued onward with his diatribe.

"I wonder what O'Connell is saying," he said, "She better not be telling them about what happened between us during the music festival last month."

Ed looked over at him.

"Oh when you two kissed."

Joel looked at him in shock.

"How do you know about you," he said, "Did she…"

Ed shook his head.

"I just knew."

Joel looked skeptical.

"I bet the whole town knows about it," he said.

"Only a quarter," Ed said, "Maybe half."

Joel threw up his hands.

"Oh great."

Chris called to them from the front of the room.

"Joel, you have a suggestion for the decorations?"

"Oh no…I was just…stretching."

Chris nodded and then moved onto the next hand. Joel slouched in his seat, then looked over at Matt.

"What," he said, "Don't tell me you're not curious about what C.J.'s telling the tribe of women about you."

Matt shook his head.

"It's up to her what to say," he said, "including about us."

Joel scoffed.

"Yeah right," he said.

"Yes right," Matt said, "It's about trusting someone."

"It's about not letting the woman get the upper hand on you," Joel said, "and watching your back."

Matt just looked at him, thinking that the excitable doctor had a lot to learn about women but then realized he couldn't judge him too harshly after what he had put C.J. through during the past several months. She had ever right to be wary of him and he had a lot to prove to her before she could trust him again. But he felt that their dinner together had been a good start, something to build upon in the days to come.

C.J. laughed as she and the other women cleaned up the Scrabble game and the remnants of their refreshments. Eve went to check on her baby, muttering about any germs that might have been in the vicinity and Shelli finally listened to her friends who told her to sit down and rest while they finished setting the room just right again.

"I think I'm about to explode," Shelli said, with a sigh.

Ruth Ann chuckled.

"You've still got a while yet," she said, "before you really feel like you are going to burst."

"My bladder's just about there," Shelli said, hoisting herself on her feet to head to relieve it again.

Ruth Ann and C.J. watched her go.

"Hollings is really excited about the baby," the older woman said, "He may seem old but he comes from a long line of people who have lived to a ripe old age."

C.J. had seen the excitement in the bar owner's face any time Shelli was close by.

"He's been very nice," she said, "and he seems to think the world of her."

"It's always been like that," Ruth Ann said, "since she arrived in Cicely with Maurice."

C.J. had heard several renditions of that story which had clearly become part of the town's folklore, about what had begun as some sort of love triangle although the three of them had evidently worked it out between them.

"Matt's been quite the fixture at the store," Ruth Ann commented.

"He's been trying to get his work done on his business from here," C.J. said, "The president of the company has been driving him crazy."

Ruth Ann paused for bit.

"Are you ever going to let him off the hook?"

C.J. looked at her, startled.

"I don't expect anything from him," she said, "I just want to be sure I can trust him again. I have our baby to think of now, not myself."

"He should know that."

C.J. sighed.

"I'm going to tell him soon," she said, "It's just that I want to be sure that he's not going to leave again."

"It sounds like he couldn't help it," Ruth Ann said, "that he didn't have any choice."

C.J. knew that Ruth Ann was right. The men who saved Matt's life hadn't given him any choice but to repay them in kind with a favor, one that had exacted a high price, perhaps higher than Matt had envisioned when he had agreed to the terms.

"I spent every morning by his grave site," C.J. said, "hoping it was all some terrible mistake. That he wasn't really gone."

"It must have been difficult."

"Some mornings I didn't even want to get up and go to the grave site," she said, "I stopped working and I couldn't sleep without dreaming about the night the car exploded…"

"Grief can be a very personal thing," Ruth Ann said, "You dealt with it the best that you could. That's all anyone can do."

C.J. nodded.

"Then I wasn't feeling well and I figured it was from the stress of losing him," she said, "I finally went to a doctor and found out I was pregnant."

"Being alone and pregnant must have been an adjustment."

"It turned out to be a good thing," C.J. said, "It got me back on my feet and reminded me that even though he was dead, I wasn't and I had my life to live."

"But he's come all the way up to Cicely to find you," she said, "That must mean something."

C.J. nodded again.

"I know he didn't have any choice when he let me think he was dead for two months," she said, "but what about next time? If he's going to be in my life, I really need him to be there."

Matt looked at his watch. The meeting had dragged out another hour or two while Chris quizzed everyone about how the party venue should be decorated and what everyone should be fed. Ed had offered to premiere one of his shorter films that he had just finished editing and a group of loggers offered to lend the services of their amateur barbershop group. Maurice had come close to stomping out several times but was reined in by Hollings who had arrived just in time to shame him into staying by pulling out and playing a historical card against him.

But while that was going on and with Joel muttering next to him about the Scrabble Tournament that really wasn't, Matt had been thinking about C.J. and wishing that she wasn't keeping it at arm's length. He understood why as he kept telling himself, but he missed her. He knew on that last evening they had spent together, she had been waiting for him to say something, before he left and he hadn't said it. Part of him had been focusing on the mission but the truth of it was that most of him still was awed by what they had just shared together. The mission had to come first for both of them but he had intended to return afterward and pick up where they left off. She had understood what he had told her as they parted without knowing the depth of his feelings.

He had to fix now what he had done then and still didn't know how to do that.

C.J. tossed and turned in her sleep later at the cabin. She had made her usual herbal tea before settling down for the night. She felt tired but in a more pleasant way and curled up with her book for a while on the sofa in front of a fire before calling it a night.

After they had dressed, they left the motel and went outside into the coolness of the early morning air. He had taken her hand in his and had thrown his bag over his other shoulder and they waited for the car to arrive to pick him up. She felt a sudden rush of apprehension.

"Are you sure you're going to be safe," she said, "We don't really know who these people are and their agendas."

He heard the concern in her voice that she tried to hide with a smile and put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

"It's going to be fine," he said, "I want to do this so we can get it done and put it behind us and go on with our lives."

She had smiled then.

"That sounds nice," she said, "but what does that mean exactly?"

He looked at her knowing what she had asked him.

"You mean do we go back to the lives we left," he asked, "or do we continue with what we've just started?"

She had nodded then.

"I don't know if I can go back to the way things were," she said, "I think I want more than that."

He stroked her hair back from her face.

"You'll get no argument from me," he said, "What we shared last night was very special."

"I think so too," she said, "but I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," he promised, "and we have the chance to really build a new life."

She felt the tears sting her eyes and he moved his fingers to brush them away. She grabbed himself and wrapped her arms around him, drawing him in so she could kiss him. When their lips met, everything else slipped away and all they saw was each other and what they felt. They didn't even hear the car arrive at first.

When someone called to him from inside the vehicle, he turned away reluctantly.

"I love you," she had said to him.

"Just remember that because I'll be back," he said.

Then they kissed goodbye again and he walked towards the car while she watched him, with both happiness and fear dancing inside her heart.

C.J. woke up with a start and looked around her into the darkness, not remembering where she was at first. Then the familiarity of the room hit her. She lay back on the bed, her heart still beating quickly and stared at the ceiling for a while before she could return to sleep.

Matt didn't get much sleep when he returned to his room. He had left the others and had walked towards the building where he was staying, deep in thought.

He remembered back to stepping inside the vehicle and looking at the two men in the seat in front of him. They had started to leave and one of them began telling him where they were going when suddenly the vehicle shook violently and a flash of heat and bright light had hit them. Matt's last thoughts had been at that point that he had forgotten to tell C.J. he had loved her.