Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's ideas or characters and stuff, just my own thoughts, ideas, and all that jazz.

Summary: There's no point in writing this now, is there?

Author's Note: All you reviewers! All you wonderful reviewers! Oh, and all you awesome readers! Thanks a bunch. Here is a special thanks to:

Janine: Your constructive criticism is totally needed here! This is my first fanfic and I totally need the advice! No, there won't be 4 couples, that's totally stupid and predictable. I'm glad you liked how I wrote up the characters; I tried my very best! The first person view is in Melissa's viewpoint and third person is just…well…third person! I can't describe it any better! Sorry 'bout that! Anyway, thanks for reviewing and I'll update as soon as possible!

Hazelocean: Of course, I'm trying! I have an immense case of writer's block. I'm just writing this story as I go along. I'm not good at planning a plot, you know? Thanks for reviewing!

Lights…Camera…Action?

"So, I've got it! I've finally got the final plans down… I'm so excited; this has got to be the best idea I've ever thought of! Better than any prank! This is amazing! I can't believe it! It's actually possible! Sirius Black outwitted Sirius Black! I'm a genius," Sirius yelled, frolicking like a five-year old girl around the Marauder dorm.

" Sirius, calm down, when do you think we should do this thing," asked James, leaning in to take a look at the plans that were scribbled onto the crumpled parchment. Remus sat on his bed, leaning on his elbow, taking in 'Hogwarts, A History' for the millionth time (used without hyperbole) during his whole stay at Hogwarts. This doesn't count how many times he read the book at home. Prying his curious eyes away from Remus, Peter sat across the parchment from James.

" What are the latest updates, guys? Sirius," asked Peter, a suspicious look coming across his face, " what are you doing?"

Sirius had leapt onto one of the free beds, through a pillow out of its case, pushed his head snug through the opening, and tried to do somersaults while jumping from one bed to another.

"Huh? Oh yeah, the plan…just got a bit overjoyed there. Sorry 'bout that," Sirius claimed, yanking the pillowcase off his head. As the three Marauders were settling around the parchment, Sirius began to read off what he had written:

"Patricia, will you go out with me. Of course I will…WAIT, wrong side. Sorry 'bout that, mates. I'll flip it over. Ok, there we go," Sirius coughed to regain the attention of the other two boys who seemed to be moving to the opposite ends of the room: James looking out of the window, spying on Lily and her friends, and Peter, who apparently found an old treacle tart stuck to the back of his bed's head board, eating happily and ignoring Remus's look of disgust.

"Hello? C'mon men, we don't have all year. We only have two weeks," with saying that, Sirius got the other boys rushing back, "yep, that's it. Now, I think we should have it during Halloween, what do you say, Prongs?"

" Perfect, Padfoot. You know how the punch at the Halloween feast always changes every year; the girls will never know they're drinking the potion by looking at it. And after they realize by drinking it, it'll be too late!"

" Brilliant, Prongs, brilliant. Now, the potion takes a week to make, so we'll start next week. You know the rule, don't do today what you can do tomorrow," Sirius sighed, laying down on the floor and closing his eyes. Remus rolled his eyes and thought, they'll never get anywhere without my help. That should make them give up on the project.

" Ugh, Padfoot," squeaked Peter, not wanting to disturb his friend, " Where are we going to do the…uh…plan? What if we mess up and burn a hole in the floor and it leaks into the fifth year's dorms? They'll rat us out (no pun intended) for sure!"

Sirius mumbled, his eyes still closed, " Good thinking, Wormtail, how about the Room of Requirement? It'll work fine." Opening one eye, Sirius said, " You know what? I'm bored, why don't we start that potion now?" And so the four boys trooped out toward the Room of Requirement, Remus at the end with book in hand.

Meanwhile...

At the same time the boys were in their dorm, us girls were heading towards their dorms from the lake. We walked in silence until Lily finally spoke, " Those Marauders have been awfully quiet for some time. I wonder what they're up to." For a few minutes, she lingered back, thinking, and finally ran to catch up to us.

" I think that if Potter says 'Will you go out with me?' one more time, I'm going to hurl."

The rest of us braced ourselves, knowing that the never-ending lecture was looming towards us. I'm serious, one time I timed Lily's Potter rant and it went on for five hours. FIVE HOURS! It was non-stop, and the time we were in class, she actually tossed us notes! And she's the studious one!

As Lily blabbed on…

And on…

And on…

And on, Alice, Janette and I were mentally forming a plan. Finally mouthing the final touches, we lead Lily towards the girls' restrooms on the second floor, the one where Moaning Myrtle inhabited. The girls and I knew that whenever Lily got into a restroom, she just had to go. While Lily excused herself, the rest of us headed towards Moaning Myrtle's stall and asked for a favor. Although Myrtle doesn't like most people, she had a close bond with Alice; the two of them became friends when Alice was made fun of in first year. After seeing Myrtle's delighted nod, we raced out of the restrooms hearing Lily's screams all the way to the dorms.

After the torture...

" So called friends, don't even know how to wait for me. Stupid Myrtle, making all the toilets blow up. Why did I leave my wand in the dorm? It's freezing," grumbled a sopping wet Lily, her teeth chattering as she walked up towards the dorms.

As she walked onwards, she was a small white light bouncing towards her. Surprised she yelped and flattened herself on the wall, not wanting to get caught by a Slytherin, or worse, McGonagal. The light came closer, bobbing up and down…up and down…

Meanwhile...

" Darned Sirius. So we should split up shall we? So we should look for the room ourselves, locate the others, and call them, shall we? Great plan, Padfoot, you idiot," mumbled James to himself. The Marauders had been talking animatedly and found themselves in an unfamiliar corridor (I know, not possible, right?) and decided to split up and try to find the Room of Requirement, each man for himself. By leaving the Map in the dorm, all four boys found themselves in different quarters of the castle. The only one who wasn't lost was Peter, who apparently found himself in the kitchens.

Walking even further down the corridor, James heard a gasp. Thinking it was one of the paintings on the walls, he tiptoed onward, this time hearing the light thud of a body leaning on a wall. He turned to his right and there stood…

"Potter?"

"Evans?"

"What the heck are you doing here," they both asked. James suddenly realized that Lily was soaking wet, her uniform fit snuggly around her, hugging her bare flesh. Wow, he thought, she looks HOT! Tearing his eyes away from Lily's chest, his voice finally got out of his throat, enabling him to ask her:

" Why don't you wear your clothes that way, everyday?"

Lily's emerald eyes, gazed down at her uniform and back up at James's shocked face.

" Excuse me?" Her eyes flashed dangerously, James gulped.

" Uh, I mean…uh… I mean…uh…I-uh…w-what hap-appened to you?"

"Nothing you should be concerned about, Potter, now let me pass." James suddenly realized he was standing in her way got up the nerve to say:

" At least let me take you to the dorms, you can't see without your wand. It's pretty dark."

To his surprise, Lily gave him a little nod, and let him lead the way out of the darkness.

10 minutes later...

" Hey, Padfoot, Wormtail! I found it! Finally, know where did James go?"

Sirius, Remus, and Peter all met up at the kitchens, their usual meeting spot when they lost the others. Apparently, James forgot about that and kept going deeper into the darkness.

"Hey, there he is! Hey, Prongs! Oi, there's Lily too! He came with Lily! Wha-" Remus spun around, clamping his hand over Sirius's mouth to keep him from talking.

"Shut it, Padfoot, do you want to wake up the entire castle? I mean," by then Lily and James showed up and Remus didn't want Lily to find out about 'the plan'. "What's up with stone? He he…don't you think it's just odd how the founding wizards built this castle out of stone. Uh…it's a bit cold, don't you think? I think I'll step away…that way…away from here. I'll see you around now, Lily!" And with that, Remus took off and hid in an empty classroom, waiting for Peter and Sirius to come around the bend.

" What a shame that Melissa fancies him…" Lily shook her head, not noticing the looks she got from the three leftover Marauders.

" She what? She-,"cried Sirius joyfully, only to be interrupted by Lily.

" That's not important right now, and it's none of your business. She can fancy anyone she wants too. So, what are you all crowded around here for? Aren't you supposed to be in your dorms?"

" You know, I could be asking you the same question." Stupid Padfoot, thought James, doesn't he know whom he's talking too? It's not bloody Peter, you know. Think!

" I had a run-in with Moaning Myrtle an hour ago and left my wand in my dorm before that. So here I am, soaking wet, wanting to go to sleep, questioning you…crazy, asylum worthy boys, asking why you're here. Now, WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

" We…came down to get something from the kitchens. The food down in the Great Hall just isn't enough to fill us up, you know."

"You know what, I don't even care. As long as I get enough rest, and you four don't cause chaos, the entire wizarding world will be fine. Now if it's all right with you lot, can one of you please take me to the dorms, it's bloody dark in here."

And with that, she stalked off, having James tail her like a lost little puppy.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading this chapter; I know I'm writing short chapters but please deal. What's going to happen now that Sirius, James, and Peter know that Melissa likes Remus? Are they really going to go along with the plan? Is Lily finally going to see that James is really obsessed and loves her? Will she forgive him if she does? Find out in the next chapter of '99 Percent Hate, 1 Percent Love'.

Thank you all! Now REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!