Soo…your reviews make me squeal like a little girl on shrooms.

Yeah…thank you.

J

Read, Enjoy, review.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I do own awkward dinner situations.

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I took a long time in the shower, just enjoying the hot water after my stressful day. It was one of those times when you aren't tired physically, but your mind feels like it just had a sex marathon with Ron Jeremy.

Ew. Ron Jeremy.

Okay, sex marathon with that guy at the gas station. What was his name?

Jasper? Yes Jasper.

Mmm, he was hot.

I reluctantly stepped out of the shower, drying off quickly and walking into my room. The beauty and comfort of it hit me full force again and I grinned.

Oh I could definitely get used to this.

I was tempted to just put on my t-shirt and plaid pajama pants to go down to dinner, but I knew Alice would never approve.

So, with a heavy sigh I began to sift through my duffel bag for something to wear.

I picked out my bra and panties set and slipped them on quickly.

Okay, confession time.

I dressed like a trucker from Texas. Well, not that exaggerated, but my clothes were usually no where near girly unless Alice managed to Shanghai me into decency.

But I had a secret obsession with underwear.

I may not have liked looking sexy on the outside, but underneath it all…I had a fetish.

I never splurged on clothes, but take me into Victoria's Secret and I went crazy. And I mean, red lacy number crazy.

So, yeah. I mean some girls like to feel sexy and put it out there, but I just liked to feel it for myself. Besides, it adds a nice mystery to certain things.

Alice burst into the room just as I finished slipping on my skivvies.

She opened her mouth to say something but instead raised her eyebrows and smirked deviously.

"Bella…well who would've guessed?"

I blushed a deep shade of red and looked down at my matching turquoise push-up and thong. Which had sparkles on it.

"Well…" I was at a loss for words and so was Alice.

"I mean, I took you for a Hanes cotton kind of girl. Who knew?" she raised her eyebrow even higher. "Maybe there's hope for you yet."

I snatched a pillow from my bed and threw it at her, she managed to dodge it of course.

"Maybe you shouldn't barge into my room mere hours after I've moved in!"

She threw her head back and let out a loud laugh. "Yes, but if I hadn't barged in I never would've gotten this…pleasant surprise."

Before I could say anything else the door burst open again, and there stood: who else?

Edward. Who promptly planted himself there with his jaw falling open, his face getting steadily redder and redder.

"Well is this a fucking let's burst into Bella's room at inconvenient times party?!!!"

He stood in my doorway as if in shock.

I chucked a pillow at him and it hit him squarely in the face. He jumped and stammered.

"GET THE FUCK OUT YOU CREEPER!!"

He turned and almost ran down the hall. I stomped over to the door, ass cheeks jiggling, to Alice's amusement, and locked it firmly.

I glared at Alice who was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her cheeks, and her tiny frame was shaking in silent laughter.

"God, I loathe you and your family. Do you not respect privacy?"

"Not-yours," she managed to choke out.

I stood there, scantily clad, just staring at her until she calmed down.

She stood up and wiped tears off of her cheeks. "Well, I'll have to fix my makeup, but it was so worth it."

"Worth it? Alice, if you wanted to see me in my panties all you had to do was ask. I didn't know you swung that way." I said cooly as I grabbed a t-shirt from my bag to put on.

Alice snatched it away quickly.

"No, seeing Edward's face was priceless. I haven't seen him that embarrassed since he tripped at Christmas dinner when he was twelve and fell face first into Aunt Mable's crotch."

I gave her an inquisitive look.

"But that's a story for another time. I came up here to help you pick out something for dinner."

"Are we going out?"

"No, of course not. I told you I'm ordering in."

"So I have to get dressed why?"

She smiled devilishly at me, pointing to my practically naked form. "You could always wear that if you really want to…"

I stuck my tongue out at her and she giggled.

"No? Okay then, let me see what I'm working with."

She began to dig through my bags, frowning more and more intensely until her lips almost touched her chin.

She held up a flannel button up.

"What the fuck is this? Are you going to run off with your lesbian lover and become a lumberjack?"

I snatched it away from her and rolled my eyes.

"Why does everyone in your family think I'm gay?" I mumbled.

She looked up from the second duffle bag.

"What?"

"Nothing Alice, just dress me."

"In that case.." she grinned and ran out of my room.

Oh fuck. I shouldn't have said that.

She came back about thirty seconds later , arms full of so much clothing you wonder how her tiny self could carry them. But no one who knew her questioned her strength. Just insult anything Couture and you'd find the pixie fear.

She dropped the pile on my bed and began sifting through the clothes.

She held up a leather mini skirt.

"Alice. Are you fucking serious?"

She threw it back into the pile. "A girl can dream, Bella."

Five seconds later she threw a pair of dark wash jeans at me.

"Alice, these will never fit me!"

"Why not?"

"They're your size, aren't they? My ass wont get past-"

"Bella, they're your size, I bought them for you. And before you start complaining, this is more of a present for me than you. I won't have you leaving the house as 'Isabella, the Lesbian Lumberjack."

I hmphed and stood to slide on the jeans. They were just as tight as I expected, but they buttoned easily.

She threw a dark green top at me, made out of some gauzy material.

"Al-"

"Don't argue Bella. It's chiffon. And if you want leather, so be it."

I shut up and put the shirt on over my turquoise bra.

Alice smiled. "I'm going to miss that."

I rolled my eyes.

"Rose should be here any minute, so I'll leave you to do hair and make-up. And you will do hair and make-up."

She gave me a death look as she backed out the doorway.

I walked over to the vanity in my huge bathroom and brushed out my hair quickly. I blew it dry and left it wavy.

After putting on the bare essentials of make-up, I walked back into my room to slip on some shoes, surprised Alice hadn't picked any out. I had just finished the thought when I looked over to the step under my door and saw a pair of four inch green silk pumps.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

Bitch was crazy if she thought I was going to foot fuck myself.

I went to reach for my converse and realized Alice would definitely pawn my ass if I didn't at least try.

I rolled my eyes for the hundredth time that night as I stuck my feet in black patent leather flats.

And somehow, I end up in leather.

Fucking Alice.

I had just stepped out the door when I collided with a hulking figure that smelled distinctly of jack ass.

"Trying to pull a peeping tom on me again Edward?"

He snorted and shot me a look.

"If I want a show like I got earlier, Bella, I'd head to the nearest strip club."

"Bite me, ass hole."

"How much would it cost me?"

I shot daggers at him with my eyes before I turned and walked down the hall.

You promised you'd try Bella. You said you wouldn't go out of your way to be rude.

Well, he was technically in my way.

I made my way downstairs to find Alice setting the table.

"Can I help Al?"

She shot a withering look at my feet, and I grinned brightly back at her.

The doorbell rang.

"Go get it, it's probably the food."

I had just opened the door when a blonde bombshell flew in and hugged me tightly.

"Oh, Bella, it's been forever!"

"Rose!"

We stood in the entryway, giggling, and hugging and girl squealing for five minutes until a hulking shadow cleared his throat.

I turned and hugged him around the waist.

"Oh, Emmett I missed you!"

He chuckled throatily, "I missed you too Bells."

I stepped back to look at them. I could've sworn that Emmett had grown, but then again every time I saw him he looked bigger to me. Rose was as amazingly beautiful as always, Her golden hair reached only midback now, I suppose she cut it. She looked thinner in the face, and stress always made her thin, so I wondered what troubles she had.

I reminded myself to ask her later.

"Well, the food should be here any minute now so let's go sit down!" I said cheerily, leading them into the dining room.

Edward was sitting back in a chair, the picture of nonchalance, and I rewarded him a look of menace.

He smiled back cheekily and gave me a little wave.

I turned before I could lose control and beat the shit out of him.

The doorbell rang again, Alice ran to get the food, and Edward followed to help.

I sat down and Rose smiled at me.

"So, you and Edward seem to be getting along just dandily."

I gave her a sarcastic thumbs up just as they entered, loaded down with carryout boxes..

It smelled amazing, and I had to fight the drool as Alice set the boxes on the table.

"Best Italian in the area! I ordered one of almost everything."

I popped open a box and began shoveling Fettuccini onto my plate. Alice disappeared and came back with a bottle of red wine.

"Burgundy," she said as she poured gracious amounts into each glass. So she was definitely trying to get us drunk.

We ate and drank, making small talk, nothing serious.

"So, Alice. Are you going to be able to take me grocery shopping tomorrow?"

Alice looked around pleadingly. "Well, actually, I have to work all day tomorrow. I have client meetings from seven in the morning until eight at night."

I turned to Rosalie. "Rose?"

"I have to go into the studio early tomorrow too. I have a new age choreography class until noon."

"And after?"

"Lunch, and then another two classes."

"Emmett?"

"I'm checking out a new band demo tomorrow."

Fuck all these people and their jobs.

"Well you know," said Alice, chewing thoughtfully, "Edward could take you.."

I'd fucking walk.

"No, that's fine. I'll wait."

"Bella, the next time anyone can take you is the weekend. I was really hoping you'd be able to cook something tomorrow night."

I warily gave Alice a look. What was she playing at?

Edward spoke from the other side of the table where he'd been glowering at me all night.

"Bella doesn't like the Volvo."

I snapped my head to look at him.

"I like the Volvo just fine. I don't like the prick who drives it."

"And the prick who drives it doesn't like the voracious bitch who picks fights for no reason."

The table had gone awkwardly silent.

"It's fine Alice. I'll wait."

"Bella…"

"Alice. I'll wait."

We finished dinner in a somewhat awkward silence. It wasn't just the angry words me and Edward shot at each other. It was the tension. You couldn't cut the tension with a knife.

You'd need a fucking chainsaw.

I offered to clear dishes while everyone moved into the entertainment room for cocktails.

Alice looked like she wanted to argue, but the pleading look I gave her shut her mouth.

I took the dishes into the kitchen and began loading them into the dishwasher.

God, what was it about this kid that just…made me so snarky and bitch like.

He had that air about him, I decided. There was no other logical reason for loathing a man who I'd barely met a couple hours ago. And every time I opened my mouth to say something to him it was either a jab at him or a comeback.

Maybe it was just one of those things you can't avoid. There's always that one person you can't help but hate.

A soft voice behind me made me jump.

"I'll take you to the store, Bella."

I turned around to see Edward standing in the kitchen.

He didn't look pissy or sarcastic or condescending, he just looked like he would take me to the store. It was his way of holding his hand out to me, possibly in amends.

A peace offering, per say.

Alice probably put him up to it.

"That's fine. I'll just get my pimp to take me."

I expected a retort or a scoff, but when I turned around, he was gone.

And I felt like shit.

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Shit. Bella. Already fucking things up and you just got here.

Tsk tsk.

Reviews are better than coke whore Bella!

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