Lost in the Shadows
Chapter 25 - Of Star Pendants and Broken Minds
Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 and its characters, settings or the like. These words, however, are mine.
Yuffie had reluctantly left the privacy of the shop after Nanaki had come to inform her that Avalanche was having a meeting; she didn't give him any indication of her knowing about his eavesdropping on her private moment. She had tried to make the tears that had trailed down her face moments before unnoticeable but she caught a look from Tifa, Red and Cid. She ignored them and walked onward regardless, only wanting to discuss what to do next.
They all sat in a circle on the ground near the entrance to the small town and she sat down in between Cid and Tifa, coincidental she thought not, ready to decide on what to do. She noticed Cid sending her furtive looks, though she caught them. It annoyed her slightly, to think that nobody thought she could take care of herself but at the same time she was comforted knowing that they cared about her well being. She knew that she had no reason to think otherwise but it was there.
Tifa had also put her hand on Yuffie's knee and Yuffie spent quite some time just staring at it, somewhere off in space.
At a sudden squeeze on her arm, she looked up at Cid with a questioning look. He nodded to the group in front of them and she looked at them all in turn, taking in their appearance and state before asking,"what?"
Beside Cid was Barret, Elmyra and Marlene who were easily the happiest of the group. Reno sat next to them, still holding the lifeless Elena in his arms. She felt a pang of guilt in her chest; they could've gotten there sooner. They could've done something... She simply moved onward and looked at Rude and Vincent, who were emotionless beyond anything else although she didn't really expect much else. Cloud was sitting beside Tifa, Cait sleeping on his shoulder which came as no surprise. Red was laying out behind him and Tifa, listening intently. Cloud was looking at her expectantly and sympathetically.
"Who do you want to go with?" He asked.
"Go with where?" She asked, her voice sounding hollow.
Cloud looked as if to say something snappy but Tifa simply rubbed his arm and looked at him with pleading eyes and he relented. "We're going off in two's or three's to search for Aerith and Sephiroth or to warn the rest of the towns."
"Aerith? Sephiroth?" A frantic voice cut in and everyone's heads turned to Elmyra in shock. They'd completely forgotten that she hadn't known about her daughter!
"Aerith? Isn't that the pretty flower girl?" Marlene asked suddenly, glancing up at Elmyra before setting her eyes on Tifa.
"El, please. Just go back to the airship for now." He said, shifting uneasily.
"No, what are--"
"El." Barret said, his voice leaving no room for argument. "I'll explain everything when I get back there."
Elmyra gave him an accusing look. "You will indeed, Barret." Her face softened and she stood, getting ready to head off.
Everyone seemed to recover quickly after that.
"The sooner it's over, the better. The survivors,"Cloud continued, pointing behind him, "are coming with us for the time being until we can get them some accommodations."
Yuffie nodded. "Who's taken?" She smiled.
Cloud smiled back. Fake, but it was really all they had to spare. There was no joy in any of them. "Tifa, Cait, Red and I are going off to towns. Nobody else has decided on anything yet."
Yuffie nodded and slowly looked over the group. Tifa was out of the question, she thought to herself sullenly. God knows she needed to talk to someone. She didn't want to go with Vincent -- she was having mixed feelings and being around him would only make things worse, she concluded, but not without feeling the tiniest bit of guilt. There was nobody else, really, that she wanted to go with save for Cid but he probably wouldn't want to be around her anyways. She sighed and shook her head. "I don't know."
"I will accompany her." Vincent cut smoothly.
Yuffie's face contorted to both embarrassment and discomfort. "I don't..." At his piercing gaze she swallowed hard. "Uh... I just..."
"I'll go with her." Cid's gruff voice came from beside her. She sighed with relief inside and gave Vincent a quick apologetic look. He shook it off and she could only dearly hope he understood. "We should get goin' now, though. Aerith and Sephiroth are waiting. Don't take too damn long if you need a ride somewhere."
Cloud nodded and Yuffie quickly stood, giving Cid the biggest smile he'd ever seen. Tifa smiled and winked at Cid, mouthing a 'thank you'. Cid nodded and walked away, Yuffie following quickly.
Tifa immediately dropped her gaze and fell into a depressive state. "Well..." She mumbled. "Yuffie should be alright now." She said, turning to look at Nanaki. "Thanks for telling us; I'm not sure she would have told us on her own."
Nanaki shook his head. "I only wish that Cid will keep his mouth closed and not tell Yuffie I know and that I let you all in on it. It was a private moment of hers."
Tifa looked up at Vincent. "Don't worry, I think she just needs some time alone right now."
Vincent merely nodded and looked to the side.
"Well," said Cloud. "You all know where to go and what to do." He turned and walked after Cid. "Let's go."
Sephiroth spared Aerith a fleeting glance when he saw her hand go up to hold her head. They were in between one extremely dangerous man and one potentially dangerous woman.
"This should be fun." He heard her say it and immediately put himself on guard, his hand going to the hilt of the Masamune. He waited and waited for a strike but nothing came. He looked over at the woman and saw she was still standing in the same place, hip cocked to the side. The only thing even remotely different was that her hand was stretched out in front of her. It came as a shock when a blue wisp of smoke managed to weave it's way over to them with an incredible speed and circle around Aerith; she was on the ground within the second, gasping for air and whimpering.
He crouched down beside her, taking his eyes off of his two adversaries for a second and grasped Aerith's arm, squeezing gently to get her attention. That however, proved to be fruitless. She merely fell back and tried to crawl backwards away from him. His grip on her tightened and he held her in place. "Aerith?" Tears filled her eyes and he knew he wouldn't be able to get a hold of her for the time being.
"Kayana... Don't you think that's going a little far?" Toyori asked, motioning towards Aerith. He flashed Sephiroth a quick grin when his eyes settled on him before moving walking over to Kayana, giving Sephiroth a certain advantage. At least they were no longer surrounded on both sides.
"What do you mean, 'too far'? Don't tell me you're feeling sympathetic towards that poor half-ling?" She responded coldly, never once relenting in her assault upon Aerith; whatever that even happened to be.
"Please." He said, finally reaching her. "Don't get jealous now."
"Jealous?"
"Indeed." He said, smiling at her.
"You aren't focusing very well are you? No wonder you couldn't do this on your own." She said and at that moment, another wisp of smoke reached out and encircled Sephiroth. He fell to the ground at the onslaught of powerful and painful memories. A voice was in his head; her voice. Kayana.
'She used you. Everyone uses you...' A flash of Nibelheim burning, the smoke filling the air and the cries of the people he'd slaughtered mercilessly. He ripped a metal encasement from a tube that was visible behind it. Jenova...
Footsteps...? Someone was running.
Sephiroth realized in a flash what was happening and forced himself to raise himself up enough to draw the Masamune out and swing it in a deadly arc in front of him; a clattering sound from in front of him was heard and he knew that Toyori had tried to attack him. He tried to stand but the memories kept coming.
'You'll hurt her again... That's what you're afraid of... Isn't that right?' Aerith fell to the floor of the altar and her eyes filled with tears. 'You'll hurt them all. All you became friends with.'
Sephiroth let out a cry of rage and threw his Masamune to the ground, clawing and covering his head, trying to block out the pictures and the voices. 'But then, they never considered you their friend, anyway. They use you, nothing more.'
'She'll never love you; nobody will. You'll always be alone.'
Reno sat against the wall in one of the Sierra's rooms. He listened to Elena soft but shallow breathing and tried to calm himself down, to think straight. Rude sat beside the bed on a chair and watched Elena's bated breaths as well, wishing for her to move. Anything to let them know she could be saved.
Because they certainly were having a hard time in believing that right now.
"Damn. This is wrong, man." Reno said. "Wrong."
Rude looked over at Reno, his saddened eyes covered by his black sunglasses. He knew now, why Reno was feeling so out of it because of Elena. He had figured Reno would be happier at the prospect of having her back with them, regardless of her condition. As long as she was safe, it was alright, but he had the distinct feeling that Reno wanted to hear her speak. He wanted her to move and show that she was alive and not just some mako infused vegetable.
Reno was doing exactly what he said he would never do; he was falling for a girl. Elena no less.
Rude knew Reno was trying to hide it from him. Why? He had no idea. They were best friends after all, but he supposed after all the talk about alcoholism and one nighters with any woman that had a body and time he was somewhat scared. Wisely, he kept his mouth shut and said nothing of it because he knew Reno was about to explode. Aerith had been their only chance and she was gone. Where to they didn't know but they desperately wished to find out.
"She's going to be fine, Reno. Aerith will come back." Rude said, watching Reno for his reaction.
"It's not alright! We both know what mako infusion does to a person and this... this! We didn't have it half as bad as her and we were ready to go and throw ourselves off a building!" Reno said, standing and pacing. "$&... Why couldn't we all just go on with our regular lives." He sighed and slumped over the bed.
"Why are we always pulled into some $$& 'save the world' business?"
Rude simply stared at the wall in front of him, letting Reno's words come in through one ear and go out the other. He sat and thought about everything they had done. To the Planet, to the people... To themselves. They'd ruined every chance of having a normal life when they had joined Shinra and became the top assassinates. They owed the Planet this, he thought. In his mind, that was one of the reasons he'd stayed with Avalanche and it seemed valid enough.
Reno and Elena would have other opinions of course, but regardless of their opinions, if one of them stayed the others stayed. The Turks were not separated for anything.
And it would stay that way as long as Rude was alive and breathing.
Tifa put her arms around herself as she shivered in the uncommonly cold breeze that was floating through the small town of Mideel. True, it had grown quite a bit over the last six or seven months, but not too much. The residents were all doing well as they had managed to patch everything up there after the Weapon had attacked when they'd last been to the town; the crevice in the ground beneath them was still there, the Lifestream floating and gushing endlessly but they wisely kept away from it and built more shops and accommodations on one side of it. The children were running outside, screaming and playing their silly little games and Tifa couldn't keep the small smile off of her face.
God, how she wanted a family.
At that thought she felt a wave of guilt. Aerith had wanted a family too. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think of something else but it kept on coming back to haunt her. If some of them had been with Sephiroth and Aerith to help, would things have turned out differently? She wanted to believe it, but she knew better. It didn't stop her from wanting to cry that very instant, to cry tears for her two friends who'd been lost in the fight.
Not to say they had been, but she was inclined to feel it, right? Everyone else seemed to think so and she knew Aerith would have contacted them by now if they were alive.
She glanced over at Cloud who was walking beside her, Cait still sleeping on his shoulder. He'd been quiet ever since their meeting. She guessed that he was trying to deal with Aerith's disappearance as well, although he was managing to take it much better then her. He'd smiled for Yuffie; not a pitiful one like she had, but he'd actually tried.
"Cloud." She spoke suddenly and was almost unaware of her mouth moving. "Do you think they're alright?"
Cloud looked over at her sadly. "I don't know, Tifa. I really don't know." He said and stopped walking when Tifa had stopped a few paces behind her.
"Tif..."
"We should be looking for them." She said, her voice sounding hard.
Cloud looked down at the ground and kicked a rock. "Tifa, we have to get the towns in--"
"I know." She said, her voice choking up with emotion. "I know! But why are four of us here, Cloud? It doesn't take that many."
Cloud let her comments slide off him and watched her with concern. "Tifa. Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine!" She said. An unexpected flash of children, a house... A family, appeared in her minds eye. She shook her head and heard Nanaki give a slight whine and Cloud's footsteps come nearer. She backed away and tried to compose herself. This wasn't her! She was the cheerful one, the upbeat and helpful one, not some self pitying woman who wished for more then she could have.
"I'm sorry, Cloud." She said, looking up at him. She smiled and walked past him, leaving him dumbfounded. Nanaki brushed against Cloud's hand and Cloud gave him a questioning look; what just happened?
Nanaki shook his head. "She'll be alright." Cloud gave him a skeptical look before turning and walking on. Cait muttered in his ear, still sleeping even after everything that had happened during the day. He watched Tifa's retreating form.
"Well, what do we have to do?" Tifa asked from before him. She turned around and cocked her head to the side and Cloud decided that that right there, was undeniably cute. He almost blushed like a schoolboy at the thought. He cleared his throat and spoke.
"Well. We have to find out who runs this place now." Cloud said. "We'll split up; two for the person who runs this place and two to let everyone else know what's going on and what to do if a situation arises." He watched as Tifa and Red nodded.
"Tifa, I'll go with you. Cait and Cloud seem to be stuck with each other for the moment anyways." He said, shaking his mane so as to remove some of it from his face. Tifa smiled and scratched him behind the ears.
"Alright. Let's go." Cloud said and they walked off in their respective directions.
She'll never love you; nobody will. You'll always be alone.'
Sephiroth stopped struggling at those words. He sat and debated with himself over so much every night he'd been with Avalanche and those words struck a cord within him. He didn't love her. He didn't, he couldn't. And besides that, he'd always been alone, he always would be! He knew that.
It didn't stop him from hurting any less.
At that moment, the voice ceased to speak and the memories faded away. He was emotionally torn yet again; just like when he was younger and he hated it. He hated feeling powerless. A scream came from beside him and his head snapped around to find the cause.
Aerith was laying on her back on the ground, tears still streaming down her face and gasping for breath. Toyori was standing over her holding a blade at her throat yet again to prevent her from moving and was holding a dagger in the other. "Don't do this..." Aerith cried out. Toyori merely grinned and knelt down beside her. He traced the outline of her waist and whispered something to her. Aerith shut her eyes for a moment, saying something back to him. He let out a laugh and moved his hand up to her face and traced her lip with his thumb. "Get away from me." Aerith said, though not very convincingly; whatever Kayana had done to them it had taken more out of her then they realized.
"You heard her," Sephiroth said, no more then a growl when Toyori simply smiled in reply and moved the dagger down to here stomach. "Get away from her."
Toyori ignored him and moved the dagger upward, ready to strike her. Sephiroth lunged, knocking him clear away from her, picking up the Masamune in the process. He brought it in front of him just in time to block Toyori's blade from embedding itself in his chest. He pushed Toyori back and he back flipped over to Kayana, quickly saying something to her before jumping forward again to Sephiroth.
All Sephiroth could manage to do at the moment was block Toyori's persistent blows as his mind was still in complete shambles from Kayana's attack. He knew that he and Aerith needed to get out of there now as there was no way he could take on both of them on his own. He hadn't even realized that Toyori had slipped his dagger out of his pocket again and was backing him up towards Aerith. Only at Aerith's shrill scream did he snap back and manage to push Toyori back one last time before he was close enough to get to her.
He made his decision in that one moment he had to turn back and he scooped Aerith up off of the ground and set off at a run.
"Kayana!" Sephiroth heard Toyori yell behind him and knew what was coming. He started jumping off of the surrounding trees and ran for the clearing he knew to be in front of it, constantly moving from side to side to evade the wisps of smoke he knew was following him. Aerith started in his grasp and he nearly lost his hold on her then but he managed to just catch himself.
"Sephiroth, what...?" She said, looking in front of them and them up at his face. "Sephiroth?"
He ignored her best he could, for a reason he himself couldn't even understand.
The end of the sea of trees was just before him now and he picked up his pace, desperately hoping for Avalanche to be there.
Aerith let out a whimper and pointed beside them. "Sephiroth, look!"
There was Toyori, not too far off beside them, easily matching his pace and still grinning like an idiot. Sephiroth grit his teeth and concentrated on running forwards. If they could get to Avalanche, they would be alright.
He heard Aerith whisper, "look out" and saw her shut her eyes and only just caught himself, stopping in his run and ducking, though sliding a good few feet. Toyori flew straight over them and landed on the opposite tree, gaining momentum to turn and fly out at them again but he found that those he was pursuing were no longer there. He heard a rustling from above him and was enraged to see the treetops give the very slightest shake that would not have been visible to anyone else. He jumped up, fully expecting to see them there but found nothing still.
He ran off the last few trees and jumped to the ground, seeing the somewhat demolished airship parked not too far ahead and Sephiroth making his way for it. He narrowed his eyes and took up his full strength, running straight for them. Unfortunately, Sephiroth more or less expected it. However, he did not expect Yuffie and Cid to appear from right around the side of the airship. If he moved out of the way now, Toyori would hit them regardless of the fact that he was after Aerith.
He didn't break his run and instead smashed as harmlessly as possible into Yuffie which in turn caused Cid to fall back. That being done, he let himself fall back onto the ground and watched as Toyori ran right over them and, seeing that he'd sliced nothing to bits, jumped onto the top of the airship.
"Aerith! Sephiroth!" Yuffie shouted, wanting to run over to them to see if they were alright, but Cid held her back.
Sephiroth used the last ounce of strength he had to roll over, puttingAerith underneath him. He collapsed on top of her, knowing that at least he would be hit first should Yuffie and Cid not be able to do anything. The darkness took him and the last thing he heard was Aerith whispering his name.
Barret and Vincent had managed to round up as many of the survivors as possible and were now heading back to the airship where Yuffie and Cid were waiting. Elmyra and Marlene were already inside the airship, the knew, only because Marlene had wanted to be with Yuffie. Elmyra had gone with them to take care of Marlene's scratches best she could and also because Barret had asked her to take a moment to speak with Yuffie.
The dead were being left in Kalm for the time being, until they had enough time and money to get them proper burials. The family and friends who'd known them had said their tearful goodbyes and some even had to be dragged off by Vincent or Barret for they couldn't bring themselves to leave their deceased friends and relatives there.
They had only just rounded the corner that would have brought them into being able to view the damaged Sierra when both Vincent and Barret heard Yuffie scream Sephiroth's name; while you may think that would be something they'd have been expecting her to be doing, it didn't sound right to them. They hurried around the corner and saw Cid holding her in place and Sephiroth laying face down on the ground. None other then Toyori was standing on top of the airship and an odd looking woman they'd never seen before was walking towards them.
"Where's Aerith...?" Barret muttered. He turned to Vincent. "We need to get the hell ova there!"
Vincent nodded and they turned to the townspeople, telling them to stay put and not let themselves be seen.
"All right. We all done here?" Cloud asked his group. Tifa and Cait had just returned from their talks with everyone around town and Cloud had, after a ridiculously long search, found the young man who ran Mideel; it was his former doctor when he'd been in his vegetable-like state.
"Yes, I think so." Tifa said, shifting her weight. She felt weird, to say the least. Like something was wrong, not with her, but someone else. Try as she might she couldn't quell the feeling.
"Something wrong?" The now awake Cait asked, seeing the change in Tifa for once. Tifa blinked a couple times before raising her hands in mock defense.
"Of course not! Why would there be anything wrong?" She said and they all fell silent. She realized too late the irony her words held.
"Well." She said, smiling and putting her arms behind her back. "Let's get a move on, why don't we!" She continued, trying to raise their spirits.
Cloud nodded and took out his PHS. He went to dial a number when Red flew a few feet in front of them with a whine. "Huh? Red!" Cloud exclaimed and quickly turned to face Tifa but he was too late; Tifa fell to the ground and he only just caught her. "Cait?" Cloud asked, looking at his shoulder only to find Cait on the ground behind him.
"What's going on..." Those were his last words before the darkness consumed him.