Chapter 20

Here's the latest update of this cross-fiction story. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading and the feedback!

C.J. lay in her bed that morning, having barely slept a wink all night. Her thoughts had focused on that conversation she had with Matt when he had thrown that half-hearted marriage proposal in her face. Sure she had imagined what it would be like if he had ever asked her to marry him but somehow, her fantasies hadn't gone quite this way. In them, he had told her that he had loved her more than life itself, couldn't live without her and had even gone down on one knee in a variety of settings, wearing a variety of clothing or none at all when he had asked her the most important question in her life.

She didn't feel queasy this morning but she didn't feel like springing out of bed either. She knew he had meant it when he told her he would be back but what could she say to him? He had asked her to marry her out of a sense of obligation to their baby.

The phone rang and she reached around to pick it up. She groaned when she saw it was Maurice.

"Hello," she said warily.

"Well hi there," he greeted her sounding a bit too cheery, "I hope I didn't wake you up."

"No I'm wide awake," she said, "What do you need?"

He hesitated.

"I would like to have a meeting with you this morning at my house."

Something was missing in this equation.

"What about Ed?"

"No, no I wouldn't want to interrupt his creative process," he said, "Besides this is business and I believe you have a good head on your shoulders."

"I worked for one of the largest conglomerates in the world," she said, "I think I could handle one meeting with you but I don't like leaving Ed out of it. It's his film."

Maurice sounded impatient.

"He's not interested in this end of it," he said, "We both know that so what do you say?"

C.J. thought about it. Curiosity getting the better of her.

"Okay, I'm heading to the Brick for some breakfast but I can head to your place after that," she said.

"Great," Maurice said, "See you then."

He hung up the phone on his end and C.J. looked at her own phone, wondering what in the hell the former astronaut had in mind.

Matt stared at his coffee in the Brick for a long time. Shelli walked over and watched him watch his coffee for a shorter period of time.

"You asked her to marry you," she guessed, "and she said no."

Matt blinked his eyes in surprise.

"How did you…"

She sat down at the table, holding onto her abdomen.

"You have the same expression on your face that Hollings had when I turned him down."

Matt sipped his coffee.

"She doesn't want to get married," he said, "and I don't want my child to grow up without his father."

Shelli looked confused.

"Did she tell you she wouldn't let you see your baby?"

Matt shook his head.

"Then what's your problem" Shelli started, "You don't need a piece of paper to be a father."

"Where I come from, men marry the mothers of their children," Matt said, "Of course that's usually before they get them pregnant."

"It's not much different where I'm from," Shelli agreed, "but I know that Hollings would never leave me alone to raise Hollings jr. He's just not the marrying kind."

Matt didn't seem placated much by that.

"What's the matter with her not marrying you," Shelli asked, "Is there something else?"

He paused.

"Actually I never really knew my father," he said, "I was adopted."

Shelli furrowed her brow.

"I thought your father ran an oil company," she said.

"He did, that is my adopted father did," Matt explained, "but my biological father was a wildcatter who got a woman pregnant and then left her."

Shelli nodded.

"That can happen," she said, "My best friend Ellis grew up not knowing her father but he was a traveling salesman."

"I had a great family life growing up," Matt said, "but I want my child to grow up knowing that his father will always be there for him."

Shelli folded her arms.

"And a marriage paper guarantees that," she said, "As many people try to get out of marriages as get into them."

Matt knew that were true but his own father had loved his mother devoutly until she died, as did his Uncle Roy with his own deceased wife. Matt wanted his own relationship with a woman to mirror that of the men in his life, as soon as he figured out exactly what woman he wanted to share that with, which he thought he had done.

He started to continue but Shelli shrugged.

"Forget the piece of paper," she said, "All I want is a man who loves me and worships the ground I walk on and I had to come to Cicely, Alaska to find that."

"But you and him…"

Shelli smiled.

"We couldn't be more different," she said, "And yeah, at first he got freaked out over the whole age thing but once he got his head straight, he followed his heart and here we are…"

She patted her abdomen happily.

"I do care about her a great deal," he said, "I always had."

Shelli rolled her eyes.

"That's all nice and everything," she said, "but those words aren't the ones a woman wants to hear from the man she loves."

He frowned.

"No I guess not."

Shelli grew impatient, believing men could be so dense sometimes, but she reined it in because underneath his cluelessness about women, Matt seemed like an honorable guy.

"So do you love her," she asked, "That's the question that you need to figure out an answer for and then share it with her."

C.J. walked into the Brick with Chris who she had run into on her way to dig into her daily hearty meal before heading off to deal with Maurice. Chris had a magnetism surrounding her that she couldn't define but he attracted women to him like bees to honey. Other residents had joked about wanting to bottle whatever it was he had and sell it on EBay.

She just knew she liked him and his flirtatious manner put her at ease. It felt nice to know that she still attracted a good looking man even if it wasn't the man she loved.

"I really like your poetry," she told him as they went to find a seat.

Matt watched as they walked by him without paying him a bit of attention. C.J. probably had missed him as preoccupied as she was with whatever Chris was telling her. Whenever he saw her with other men, he had always felt a twinge of jealousy that caught him by surprise. Why he felt that way he couldn't figure out because they had been great friends most of their lives but they had never taken their relationship further than that. Neither dared to jeopardize their friendship though Matt had wished that rule had been eased on more than a few occasions. But he remembered when she had been dating Carl, the quietly confident businessman she had hooked up with again after having dated him casually in college. He had caught them in an embrace on the helipad outside his penthouse suite and had felt a feeling of possessiveness run through him that had shocked him. But they hadn't noticed as wrapped up as they were in each other.

When she called him in tears from a hospital to tell him that he had been killed by the psychotic secret admirer, he had dropped everything including a bodacious prosecutor in Houston to rush to her side. And later on as he accompanied her to a funeral and she stood by the graveside afterward, so forlorn in her black outfit, he had felt a pang of guilt that he had ever felt jealous of the man.

Robert, now that had been a different story. She had actually accused him of being jealous of him and in that case, he had been concerned that the man they both thought they knew had been intent on killing whoever got in the way of his dream of being a television anchorman. His suspicions towards Robert had even nearly gotten him killed and the thought of her being tied to a killer tore at his gut, washing away any jealousy he might have felt at the two of them together.

She had wound up having to betray Robert to bring him to justice for his crimes and that bothered Matt to this day. Of course she had insisted on playing a role in the charade at the motel but still, Matt had never been in her shoes.

"So when is your next book coming out," C.J. asked Chris as they both sipped orange juice.

The radio and DJ shrugged.

"Whenever it moves me," he said, "I've learned that you can't force these things. Everything has its place and time."

"What about your brother?"

Chris brightened.

"He's coming to town next week to do a reading for me," he said, "He's a world traveler and he's written poetry of his journeys."

She thought that sounded so nice, being a lover of traveling the world herself. While working with Matt, the two of them had traveled the world, sometimes at a moment's notice.

"So how are you doing," he asked her.

She smiled.

"I'm feeling great and I'm having a lot of fun working with Ed on his movie."

Chris nodded.

"I can't wait to see it," he said, "Ed's a great talent and I think he's starting to realize it."

"He's a very nice young man," C.J. said, "with a bright future ahead of him."

"So how's Maurice treating you both?"

C.J. grimaced.

"I have a meeting with him later on," she said, "I think he's going to try to use me to gain more control of Ed's film."

Chris chuckled.

"That Maurice, he never gives up," he said, "though he means well enough."

C.J.'s brows shot up.

"No I mean it," Chris insisted, "Most people think he's just a ruthless business man who wants to bury Cicely in strip malls and movie houses but he's got a pretty big heart."

She thought that might be true but she hadn't really seen it yet. Still, she knew that Chris knew the man better than she did.

"I just want him to give Ed the space he needs to do his film," she said, "and that's what I'm going to tell him."

Chris smiled approvingly.

"Nicely of course," she amended.

"You're a really fine woman," he told her.

"Really?"

"He's not a very smart man if he doesn't realize that," Chris noted.

Her eyes began to sting.

"He's a very smart man," she said, "He's also a traditionalist about many things involving family."

"My father traveled all the time," Chris said, "It broke my mother's heart and it would have broken her heart to know that what she had suspected about him were true."

She nodded, blinking the moisture away from her eyes.

"That he was seeing other women…"

"I was shocked when I met my brother for the first time," Chris said, "but I wasn't surprised because we have a bond between us that brought us together."

"It sounds wonderful," C.J. said, "I always wanted a brother or a sister."

He looked at her concerned by her expression.

"Are you okay," he asked, "Listen, do you need anything?"

She shook her head.

"It's just hormones," she said, "Being pregnant and all."

He accepted her answer though she didn't add that having Matt back in the picture after his "death" had thrown her on an emotional rollercoaster that she couldn't blame on biological influences. But then it had always been like that with him. She never really knew where she stood with him, not in terms of their deep friendship, but underneath the layers they had built in their relationship over the years. The relationship that the important people in their lives hadn't understood and had on some occasions, resented. Her last boyfriend before she had gone physical with Matt had thrown her relationship with her friend in her face before breaking off with her. She had thought about it as she always did and wondered if he were right. She knew years ago she had wanted something much more from him but he had been attracted to many women and she had buried her feelings deep inside beneath her ambitions and life had gone forward. But did she really want that now? What did she really want from him?

Matt sat alone, throwing a glance every now and then to where C.J. sat talking to Chris, trying to stem his impulse to go on over to her table and talk with her. He looked instead at the pile of files in front of him and how he had promised Murray to have the balance of the invoices faxed out to the L.A. office by the end of the day. He sipped his coffee and sorted through them but his thoughts wandered to the last argument he had in his office with one of his now ex-lovers over his relationship with C.J. She had refused to believe him when he told her it was not what she thought and a harder time convincing himself after she left him, when his mind wondered about what it would be like to…No, he had shaken his head to clear that vision. They were friends and nothing more, as it always had been, as it always would be. Life was just less complicated that way. But it made his social life hell.

Matt's girlfriends had left him more than once after they realized how devoted he was to his business associate and best friend. One of them, Staci he thought it was, had snapped in his face and told her to admit that he had stronger feelings for her than he had admitted. Matt had wearily accepted her departure but attributed it to some insecurities on her part just as he had with the other women. Now he wished he could apologize to all of them and admit that his feelings for C.J. had played a role in his breakups with them. At some times during the past year, he had thought about approaching C.J. and broach the subject with her but she had just smiled at him, patted his hand whenever he tried to say anything and changed the subject to business. But when they had attracted a client whose assignment was for them to pretend they were married to infiltrate an exclusive business fraternity, he had jumped at the chance. A little too enthusiastically, he realized in hindsight.

C.J. looked at him sitting at the table buried in his work before leaving the Brick to go to her meeting with Maurice which she already dreaded. He looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep last night earlier as he ran his hand through his hair and frowned at something, probably a spreadsheet. She resisted the temptation to walk over and offer to help him. Shaking her head, she thought, no, she had to go prevent Maurice from barging into Ed's creative process long enough so that the filmmaker could finish his final product.

"Now hold on there," Maurice said, "I have no intention of trying to tell Ed what to put in his movie…"

The two of them sat in the luxurious living room where Maurice had poured some tea for her and a brandy for himself. She had sipped the drink appreciatively, realizing that the man for all his machismo knew his herbal teas. She looked around and saw a picture of a woman she knew was the state trooper, Barbara bench pressing a hefty looking barbell, intense concentration on her face. She wondered how Barbara could stand Maurice but then figured maybe the woman saw something in the man that C.J. and others might have missed.

"I know exactly what you're up to," she said, "Ed's editing his film and doesn't want to be disturbed. When he's finished, you'll be the first to see his final cut."

Maurice smiled.

"Now little lady I know…"

C.J. gritted her teeth.

"Don't call me that," she said, "I might be pregnant but I'm still can hold my own."

He chuckled.

"I have no doubt about that," he said, "I admire your strength, your intellect along with your beauty."

She rolled her eyes at the man.

"Please, you're laying it on a bit thick there," she said, "Let's get back to business."

He nodded.

"Okay," he said, "I just hope that your man is treating you right."

Her brows rose.

"Excuse me," she said, "What did I just tell you?"

"It's just that in my day the men did the honorable thing when one of our little guys hit the mark."

C.J.'s jaw hung open.

"This is not appropriate conversation for a business meeting."

Maurice waved his hand.

"Oh spare me your sexual harassment talk," he said, "Life was a lot similar before all of this political correctness interfered with male, female interactions."

She scowled.

"How would you like a swift kick…?"

His eyes lit up.

"I like it when you get your dander up," he said, "It brings out the sparkle in your eyes and your spirit…"

She waved a finger at him.

"Not one more word…"

Maurice didn't budge.

"I just think when a guy gets a gal like you pregnant, he should do the honorable thing."

She sighed.

"Like you did?"

Maurice fell silent and she felt her conscience prickling her at the back of her neck.

"Listen I'm sorry," she started, "I was out of line. It's just that…"

He nodded.

"I would have married her if I had only known," he said, "But war is different than the rest of life, different rules…"

"I understand," she said, "I've never been to war but I know people who have and had to live with the decisions they make after they've come home."

"I missed a lot of years with my son," Maurice said, "Years I can't ever make up as much as I'd like to but he's grown into a fine man…without me."

She looked down at her tea.

"I didn't tell Matt he would never know his child," she said, "I just didn't agree to his terms."

Maurice looked exasperated.

"Why not," he said, "He doesn't strike me as a man who would walk away from his responsibility."

Those words grated C.J. and she felt anger fill her.

"I want him to see our child as something more than a 'responsibility'," she said, "or an obligation."

"That's part of being a man is to fulfill your obligations," Maurice said, "but he seems to really care about you."

"That may be but we weren't together when we got together," she said, "We were doing a job for a client when this happened."

Maurice looked confused now.

"What kind of gobblygook is that," he said, "Either you are with someone or you're not. Believe me, I know the difference."

The older man shook his head, clearly not understanding her generation.

"I told him I loved him," C.J. said, "More than once, but he's never said it back."

"Maybe he's a man of few words and more action," Maurice pointed out, still holding onto his patience with her, "He seems to be a man of adventure and vision, much like myself."

C.J. pondered that, not seeing the similarity between the two of them. But she realized his reading about Matt's affinity for seeking new challenges through the adventures he signed on for had been perfectly fine…until she got pregnant. She wanted a man who would stick around her and create a family that they could raise together. But was that what he wanted in his life, and if he did what would happen when another adventure came calling?

"It seems to me little lady…I mean C.J…that you have thinking that you need to do so I'm going to adjourn our little meeting here."

She looked up at him, skepticism in her face.

"And you promise to leave Ed alone to work on his film?"

Maurice sighed.

"I promise to let him alone until he shows me the final cut," he said.

C.J. nodded, knowing that's the most she'd get out of the stubborn businessman. But he wasn't done talking with her yet.

"And that's only if you promise to go to your man and let him talk some sense in your head," Maurice said, "or you can straighten him out. Either way just work something out before your child is born."

She almost shot a retort back at him until she picked up something in his voice she hadn't heard there before, a trace of wistfulness for what could have been.

She nodded, agreeing to think about that which was all she could promise right now. She just didn't know how she was going to do it.