Back to Bella, hope you liked Edward's thoughts.

I mean, I couldn't really have them both hate each other, we would get nowhere!

: )

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I do own Edward saying stupid shit.

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Okay. I needed to swallow my pride. And perhaps some alcohol.

I needed to go to the store. Today.

And I would have to ask Edward to take me.

I couldn't take another night of Alice's disappointed looks as she picked at her take out Chinese. It was downright depressing.

Rose and Emmett had gone to a doctor's appointment in Orange County early this morning, and I was really hoping she wasn't considering plastic surgery.

And Alice, of course, was working. Her interior designing business was big and booming, and she had long hours at work like you wouldn't believe.

I mean, the girl worked like a dog, she took me in, and I didn't even have to pay rent. The least I could do was surprise her with a home cooked meal tonight.

It was Thursday morning, and two days had passed since my Edward pizza lunch. Things had somewhat calmed down between us, and I limited my jabs at him to four or five a day. He usually responded with something good but if I dished out a particularly fiery one he would just glower.

That made me smile.

Other than that, I hadn't really said anything to him the past two days. We would shoot dirty looks at the dinner table and besides my insults that was it.

Mauve was still in the shop, so he was my only option.

I did wonder, however, why he was the only one who stayed home during the day.

I asked Alice Wednesday night, and she told me.

"He's a writer. He was writing in New York where he lived with his mother, but of course he quit when he moved here."

"His parents live in New York?"

"His mother, yes." She looked away uncomfortably.

"His mother?-" I began but Alice looked at me.

"It's not my story to tell."

I sighed. She looked very final.

"So is he looking for work?"

Alice nodded. "He's applied to a couple Newspapers and a magazine or two around here. He's actually scheduled for some interviews in two weeks I think."

I nodded. That satisfied my curiosity.

"He also plays piano at 'Blue' some nights. It's a jazz club downtown. It's kind of nice actually. I'll take you some day."

I smiled. I loved dancing. And jazz clubs were always fun. So that was pretty exciting. I may have been clumsy when I was just standing around, but dancing was another story. Alice used to tell me I should just dance wherever I go.

My mother told me my Nana was an amazing dancer. So that's where I got it from.

So here I was, Thursday morning, ready to tell Edward I needed to go to the grocery store.

This would not be hard. It wasn't a big deal. It was just the store. I could do it.

Was I really giving myself a pep talk to go to the store?

Yeah, I was.

I was dressed and ready to go. All I needed to do was march my ass across the hall, knock on his door and say "Bitch, we're going to the store."

That was all.

Well, I should probably say it a bit nicer than that.

I steeled my shoulders, walked into the hall and marched up to his door. Before I could panic and run away, the door opened.

And before he could say anything,

"Bitch, we're going to the store."

God damn it, no fucking word filter.

He raised his eyebrow in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

I rolled my eyes. Might as well run with it now.

"I said, we're going to the store."

He looked at me in disbelief.

"Yes master, and after I'll shine your shoes."

I looked down at my converse.

"No need, Winston. Let us proceed."

He rolled his eyes and followed me down the stairs.

That's right, ass hole. I'm your daddy.

"So, what's in it for me?"

God, this man was ridiculous.

I spoke without thinking, which was stupid, letting my sarcasm run free.

"Head."

I turned bright red as I realized what had just unwillingly slipped through my lips, but it was too late to take it back so I turned around to face him.

The look on his face made me laugh out loud. He looked like a startled gerbil.

"Kidding, Edward. Kidding. Don't take anything I say too literally."

He nodded and shook his head.

"Yeah. Um. So like I said, what's in it for me?"

"A home cooked meal and seeing Alice happy."

He nodded. "This better be damn good."

I smirked. I was confident in my cooking abilities.

"Oh, it will be."

***

He was breathing down my fucking neck in the produce aisle.

God, this fool needed to get off my jock.

I picked up a cantaloupe and he cleared his throat behind me.

"That one isn't ripe."

I was being pretty patient considering the fact that he had been doing this to every fucking thing I had picked up since we got to the store ten minutes ago.

Everything.

Even the damn shopping cart.

"That one has a squeaky wheel."

I'll give you a squeaky wheel.

Ooh that sounded vaguely sexual.

"Okay, Edward," I said as I turned to face him. "show me one that is ripe then."

He held up a perfect cantaloupe and I grudgingly tossed it in my basket.

"Hey!" he said, "Don't bash the perfect melon!"

I'll bash your perfect melon.

Good God, what was wrong with my mind.

I tried to hide the fact that my face was tinting red by turning around and hissing through my teeth.

"How the fuck is it possible for you to be anal about fruit!"

Unless it's a banana of course, I added as an afterthought.

Damn. I should've said that one out loud.

He he. Fruit humor.

I turned to look at him And of course the fucker wasn't listening. He was looking at the cucumbers.

"Of course you gravitate straight to the cocks- I'm sorry I meant cukes." I chuckled, before continuing on. I had been waiting to spout out that one since we had arrived to the store.

I heard his grunt of disapproval behind me and I giggled.

No one ever realized how sexually suggestive a grocery store could be until they came shopping with me.

This continued through the entire store. I'd pick up something, and he'd find something cheaper, better quality, more colorful, sweeter, whatever.

And then we got to the cereal aisle.

I was very particular about my cereal.

Ridiculously so.

So when I went to grab a box of cereal, my favorite, Fruity Pebbles, and he started to open his mouth and reach out for something "better" I karate chopped his arm in the elbow crease and took great pleasure in his little yelp of pain.

Hah. Edward yelped.

"What was that for woman?"

"Don't fuck with the pebbles, Edward. Just don't."

"Bella," he whined. I fucking hated whining, " It's full of saturated fats and empty calories, and sugar-"

"Edward, they're my thighs, not yours."

I threw the box of cereal into the cart and turned to get another box. I looked back into the cart, and the douche had taken my cereal out. I could've just turned and thrown another box in the cart but that wasn't the point.

It was the moral principle of it.

Respect the cereal.

"Edward," I said, advancing on him, while he walked slowly backward, eyes looking for an escape like a cornered animal. "What did I say about the cereal?"

He stammered.

"Edward. You need to get the stick out of your ass and leave me and my Pebbles alone."

Hah. Me and my Pebbles.

Now is not the time for dirty Bella!

Right, Sorry.

His lips twitched. "I thought you said it was a dildo."

"It's both. Now give me my cereal."

The ass was holding it behind his back.

"N-no." he said, but his voice was shaking.

"Edward, give me my box."

"There's more boxes behind you." he said coolly, but I saw the fear in his eyes.

My eyes narrowed. I was pissed. "That is not the point and you know it."

He shrugged. So I did what I could do.

I reached out and pinched the nerve in his neck that would make the right side of his body go numb. And that shit hurt.

I guess that's something decent my dad taught me.

The box fell from his hands as his left hand flew up to cup his neck.

"What the fuck did you do?" he moaned, clutching his neck. "My body feels all…tingly."

I smirked as I reached behind him to pick up the box of cereal and throw it in the cart.

Epic Win.

"Don't fuck with my cereal."

After that, we headed to the check out counter. I threw four Hershey's bars into the cart and turned to glare at Edward.

He was opening his mouth and I held up my fingers and made a pinching motion in the air.

He shut up.

In the end the total was about two hundred and fifteen.

I paid with the food money Alice left in the jar. Her parents did not fuck around with sending her cash for sustenance.

Edward looked ready to cry when we reached the Volvo. There were about twenty five full shopping bags.

"Edward. It's just a car."

He nodded sadly and began loading things. I rolled my eyes and got in, slamming the door for measure.

He got in and glared at me.

We drove in silence.

"That shit hurt Bella."

I shrugged. "Wasn't supposed to feel good."

I noticed his cheeks tinged pink a little bit.

We drove in silence a little longer.

"Why do you hate me?" he asked. How blunt.

"I don't hate you. I despise every fiber in your being. There's a difference."

"But you barely know me. You just got here."

I looked at him. Naïve little fucker.

"Oh, I know you plenty Edward. I know you're vain and controlling. I know your ideal woman is a submissive housewife who cooks and cleans and care for kids all day and when you get home from screwing your secretary she's still ready to give you a rousing round of oral."

He scoffed and glowered at me. "So bitter towards men."

"Yes." I said.

He rolled his eyes. "Let me guess," he said sarcastically, in a tone that made me want to vomit. "Dirty cheating ex- boyfriend who left behind a woman scorned, ruining her trust in men?"

I stiffened in my seat and looked forward, my entire body burning with pain, rage and humiliation. Had Alice told him?

I turned to him and he was looking at me with the oddest expression.

I spoke softly, afraid my voice would crack. "Throw in a backstabbing best friend and daddy issues and you hit the nail right on the head."

I couldn't bear the pity in his eyes so I turned, looking out the window.

"Bella- I," I stopped him.

"Edward. Shut up." There was so much menace in my voice I didn't even feel the need to punctuate my statement with profanity.

And he shut up.