Lost in the Shadows
Chapter 27 - Where'd You Go?
Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 and its characters, settings or the like. These words, however, are mine.
"Aerith!" Tifa cried, scrambling to her feet only to fall back to her knees beside her comrade. She laid her hands gently on Aerith's shoulders and whispered something the rest couldn't hear. Aerith nodded and put a hand on her chest as a spasm racked through her body.
A few of the others moved forward but Aerith shook her head; she was alright. Still reeling from the shock, she couldn't focus on one thing at a time -- everything was pulsing through her and she was reliving the last hour full of painful moments.
"Aerith?" Tifa asked, tightening her grip and the pink clad woman's shoulders. "What happened?"
Aerith shook her head. "It doesn't..." She raised her eyes to the sky. "It doesn't matter right now." Standing suddenly she startled Tifa by taking a few steps away. Cid moved forward to grasp her forearm.
"You shouldn't be moving around, girl."
Aerith squeezed her eyes shut. "I have to." She gently pulled her arm away and walked over to the edge of the ship. Tifa wondered for a moment if she was worse off then they thought, but Aerith kneeled down on the ground and put her hand over something.
Rude's eyes were glossed over, his sunglasses thrown to the side from the force of a blow -- was that a... stab wound? Tifa gasped and took a step back.
"What the hell happened?" Cloud asked, running over to Aerith's side. He watched as Aerith put her hands over Rude's eyes, closing them and fury swept through him. Looking over at Aerith, he was ready to interrogate, but the sight of her stopped him. Fresh tears were rolling down her cheeks and onto her dress and she looked like she herself was struggling with Rude's stab wound.
"Aerith, come on. Let's go inside." Yuffie said quietly, taking her arm. Aerith stood and retracted it almost aggressively, striding into the ship through the now broken entrance.
Planet...
Why?
You promised me!
You said you wouldn't...
Why did you do this?
Silence.
Aerith felt all the energy drain from her as her faced paled.
Oh god... Oh no.
Planet?
The silence that greeted her confirmed her fears. The Planet was no longer there.
The great entity had left her in the dark.
He'd had trouble listening to his best friend before, but this time the urge to disobey was just too great. Reno listened as Yuffie screamed yet again and her male companions swore -- something was definitely going on out there.
When the noise had just... stopped. That's what really made him second guess his decision to stay behind.
Elena would be alright on her own, right?
She didn't need him to babysit her.
Who was he kidding? He couldn't leave her alone, not anymore.
Sighing, he cursed himself for whatever the hell had taken over him.
The feelings channeling through him were enough to make him wish he was... What? What did he wish?
That it would all just come to an end? That the feelings would just disappear?
But then it wasn't really the fact that the feelings were there... It was the fact that he didn't know what they were.
Beggars can't be choosers!
Elena's words made him smile... How many times had she said something along those lines to him?
"Aerith wait!"
"Aerith!"
Reno perked up a bit at the sound of the familiar voices. Did someone just say Aerith? She was back?
"Aerith--!"
The door was flung open and Reno backed away just in time from landing on the floor like the boxes that were piled near it; he looked on in shock as Aerith, cheeks visibly stained with tears, strode in pale-skinned and looking rather underfed. The entirety of her was a mess but his attention was drawn more to her eyes.
I'm sorry...
I'm so sorry...
"I'm sorry." She choked out, more tears returning. "I'm so sorry." She added in a hoarse whisper, her face crumbling into that of what someone who was breaking down would have.
Reno's mind was running a mile a minute -- what the hell was she sorry for?
Did he even need to ask?
Reno narrowed his eyes, setting Elena down on the floor. "What the hell are we talking about?"
"I couldn't do anything... I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She cried, falling to the floor. "I'm sorry..."
Why did she have to keep repeating that? It was driving him up the--
"He's gone; he's dead."
Reno's world crashed down around him.
Aerith couldn't stand the look on Reno's face. She couldn't stand everyone crowding around her.
She was tired of crying.
Emotions ripped through her but she tried to drown it out the best she could and forced herself to her feet.
What is wrong with me?
"Aerith." Cloud stood in front of her and grasped her chin lightly, forcing her to look at him. His eyes were set in a face of stone, but she could see the kindness in them and that made the anger that surged to die out. "You need to relax, we all do."
Aerith let herself calm down and Cloud smiled slightly when the tension visible in her arms faded. She smiled back and placed her hand over his.
Strangely, she felt like her old self again.
"I'll be alright." She said softly, breathing in deeply. "I just need some time to..."
Plan?
Wonder?
Hope?
"To think." She finished lamely, sliding out of his grasp easily and walking through the door.
"What happened?"
Aerith turned to look Reno in the eyes. The pain in his eyes was extraordinary and she had to look away, lest she too begin to experience his feelings.
The Planet used to do that to her -- used to let her feel the pain of others. A sharp jut to her heart.
"I... He was stabbed. I couldn't do anything because..." She closed her eyes and sighed. "Sephiroth shielded me with his body but he was unconscious so I couldn't get up. When he did wake up... I didn't have control of myself." She turned and continued on out of the room. "I'm sorry, Reno."
"Where is he?" He whispered. Aerith stopped and turned her head to the side.
"He's outside." Turning around fully she let her eyes rest on Elena. "If you can bring her up to my room right now I'll fix her up." She said kindly and quietly. "And you can go and look in at Rude and... Decide what you're going to do."
Reno nodded silently, picking Elena up and carrying her out of the room. Aerith led the way upstairs and Reno followed, his heart pounding with grief and despair.
'It's so quiet...'
Yuffie shifted her feet and looked around at everyone in the room. Their heads were either hung down on their chests or they stared skywards.
'Probably mulling over everything.'
"This is unreal." Tifa said, letting her shoe pick at the floor. She lifted her eyes to meet Yuffie's and they held gazes for the next few silent moments. "I thought this was supposed to be over." She continued, moving across the room.
"Hey, wait a minute." Yuffie said, facing Cloud. "How did you guys get back here anyway? You were in Mideel for crying out loud."
Cloud's eyes followed Tifa as she moved in restlessness and anxiety. "We caught a ship heading out from Mideel." Standing, he walked over to Tifa and touched her shoulder reassuringly. She halted and leaned back into him, closing her eyes and letting out a troubled breath.
"This is the last thing we need ta be discussin'." Barret said, fixing a glare on Cloud. "My daughter and Elmyra were in this ship and civilians are not even five minutes away. We need ta move out." His face darkened. "Have ta be prepared for that crazy silver son of a bitch."
Tifa immediately bristled and stood to his defense. "Barret, stop. You know he didn't choose to go with them himself."
"Tif, that's bullshit, you should know better then that." Raising his fist menacingly, he looked around at all of them. "Didn't we tell ya -- didn't Spike and I tell ya this was no good? He was no good?"
"The only bullshit here is how you feel the need to keep on blaming Sephiroth for all of our problems -- we chose to face this. If you can't deal with it then take Marlene and Elmyra somewhere safe. Stay with them." Tifa retaliated, flying out the door in a rage.
"Ah, you always choose to say the most fucked up shit I ever heard." Cid said, taking out a few smokes. He walked out the door behind Tifa glancing back at Barret. "Don't go causin' trouble now. We're all damn tired of this and we don't need any more trouble then we've got. Everyone hides and expresses their pain differently."
Reno wordlessly walked into Aerith's room and set Elena down on the bed before turning and walking right back out the way he came. He slammed the door behind him and Aerith winced, unable to believe what was happening.
Still reeling from the shock, she thought of all that happened since she and Sephiroth had returned. There had to be some rift in their plot, something they'd overlooked...
She swung around when her door was opened again and before she knew what was happening, a pair of arms were thrown around her neck and she felt the brown haired woman she'd once called her mother shaking with sobs. Aerith closed her eyes.
No...
This can't happen.
I can't do this.
Aerith took gentle hold of Elmyra's arms and pushed her away lightly. Aerith inspected the woman's face and saw that she'd aged quite a bit -- it looked like she wasn't even taking care of herself. How was she taking care of that dear child of Barret's? She felt guilt wash over her when the possible explanation floated through her mind but she dismissed it as quickly as it had appeared.
"Mo-- Elmyra." Aerith corrected, taking a step away from her. Shock flew across Elmyra's face but it was quickly replaced with sadness and guilt.
"I thought you were dead -- I thought you were gone. I was so, so stricken with depression! Why didn't you come back, why?" She rambled.
"I was dead." Aerith answered softly. "I was."
Elmyra took her adoptive daughter's hands in hers and started to panic when Aerith slid out of her grasp. "What--"
"I can't do this!" Aerith whispered fiercely.
Understanding flew across Elmyra's face. "You think you might..."
"Please don't." Aerith said, turning away and pulling open some of her drawers, trying to find he correct ingredients for Elena.
"Aerith, you aren't going to die again, you can't. You were brought back for a reason -- that doesn't mean, it doesn't even give you the right to push me away!" Elmyra said, hurt littering her voice. "I raised you as my own. I know you're stronger then this. Whatever has taken a hold of you, you'll get through it, you will!"
"How do you know?" Aerith asked brokenly, some of her resistance falling away.
"Because I believe in you. And I love you. We want you here and I know you'll do everything to make sure that happens."
The tears fell once more and the two women hugged. "Oh mum, I missed you so much. I'm so sorry."
"No, no, I am sorry." Elmyra said, pulling away and smiling. "I let you go off with that fool of a boy, after all."
Aerith smiled and she was surprised when she heard herself laugh. It sounded so right. "Well, if you're sorry for that then you really don't want to hear about who I've found now."
Reno knelt down beside his best friend.
His dead best friend.
It didn't surprise Reno when it began to rain. Didn't surprise and didn't bother.
Rude always did love the rain. For the strangest reasons he could have ever possibly imagined.
Funny, how you always remember those things when you know that person is gone.
"Well." Reno said, feeling equally foolish as he felt sad. What harm would come of it? Aerith was living proof that communication with the dead was possible. "We had some good times. Now you've gone and died on me." He stood and kicked at the dirt. He looked so eerily peaceful, like he didn't mind being dead. Fury flushed Reno's skin a slight red hue and, staring at the ground like it was some abomination he let himself go.
"Fuck, it's not everyday you find someone you can really relate to -- why the hell did you tell me to stay back there? Maybe things would have been different. Maybe I could have prevented this." Reno said, disliking how serious he sounded. "Maybe you'd still be here."
Tseng...
Rude...
Elena...
"Who the hell is going to help me out with Elena? How are we supposed to feel whole again after this? It was always the three of us..." Reno said, his voice going quiet.
"Now you're both gone. What do I do now?" Reno asked.
"What do I do?"
I'll miss you...
I already do.
"See you on the other side." Reno chuckled lightly, the first tears he'd ever let loose in the last... Who knows how many years falling, hidden by the rain.
Elmyra had left not too long ago and Elena had been remedied; or at least Aerith hoped she had been. Standing in the middle of her room, she let all the thoughts she'd repressed flow back into her mind.
All she really had to think about was a single word. A name.
Sephiroth.
She started to pace the room, as tired as she was, and tried to think of all possible ways Sephiroth could have been so easily manipulated. She would never blame him... But she had to wonder.
'Oh Sephiroth... What have I done now?' She thought somberly, falling down on the bed beside the now peacefully sleeping Elena.
"Oh Elena, I don't know what to do." Aerith said, looking over at her. "I wish I could go after him. But where do I start? How do I get there?" She rolled over on her side and let her eyes slide closed. "Everything is so complicated..."
Planet...
Why have to left me?
What happened?
Why did this happened?
You promised me it would be me who died.
Why is that not the case anymore...
Letting out an aggravated sigh, Aerith feel into uneasy dreams.
Before she was gone she swore she could hear Toyori and Kayana laughing at her helplessness.
Was she truly so weak?