Chapter 23 ---The latest chapter of this FF story is finished. I hope you like it and thanks for reading and for the feedback.
Matt was on time for the doctor's appointment but then she knew he would be. He walked inside with her as she checked in with Marilyn who said that the doctor would be available in a few minutes. They then sat down in the waiting area and C.J. tried to contain her excitement about taking her first good look at the life growing inside of her. She glanced sideways at Matt to see his expression but he remained quietly sitting there. She picked up a magazine that was about six months old and pretended to be reading it.
"Thanks for inviting me," he said, simply.
She looked over at him and smiled.
"I wouldn't deny you this experience Houston," she said, "It's your baby too."
He smiled at her when she said that, knowing that there were still problems between them since he had returned from the dead but they still had this to share between them. And she meant it, he could be there with her every step of the way if he chose and she knew for him there would be no other path.
"Will it tell us if it's a boy or a girl," he asked.
"Maybe," she said, "It might be too early to be sure and I don't really care either way. It might be nice to be surprised."
He nodded.
"Me neither. I'm fine either way."
She chuckled at that.
"Oh come on," she said, "A part of most men is the secret desire to have a son that they can show the ropes to about being a guy."
"I'm not most men," he said as if she needed reminding, "A son might be nice but so would be a daughter who looked just like her mother."
She flushed a bit at that, turning her face away enough so he wouldn't see it. But it was a little bit difficult to hide.
"I just want him or her to be healthy," she said, "That's all I think anyone can wish for."
He slipped her hand in his own and held onto it.
"He or she is going to be as healthy as a horse," he said, "And he or she will keep the two of us very busy chasing around after them."
C.J. smiled at the thought of that.
"He or she might have your arm and want to play football," she said, "Or ride broncos just to win a side bet."
"He or she might want to be a lawyer and fight court battles," he said, "Maybe even be a judge."
"That would be interesting," she said, "a son or daughter who has a law degree and rides broncos on the rodeo circuit on the weekend."
He chuckled at that. Joel walked out of his examination room and watched the two of them.
"I seen that both of you have made it here for the ultrasound," he said, "That's a milestone in every woman's pregnancy to take the first look at the developing fetus while it's still inside her body."
"I've been looking forward to it," C.J. said.
Joel nodded.
"Come in, we'll start with the exam and then call him in when it's time to take a look," he said.
C.J. left with Joel and Matt tried to bide the time away by flipping through some magazines. He had left his work where he was staying, intent on focusing all of his attention on the doctor's visit.
"Nervous?"
Matt looked up and saw Marilyn looking at him.
"A little."
She shrugged.
"It will be all right."
She said, and then returned back to her knitting. Matt ran his hand through his hair while he waited, wondering what took so long. Finally Joel came out of the room to fetch him. He walked into the exam and C.J. lay on the examining table and Joel finished preparing her for the ultrasound. C.J. waited, biting her lip, feeling suddenly a bit nervous. Without thinking, Matt reached for her hand and held it in his own. She loved it that he did that.
"I guess I'm ready as I'll ever be," she said and Joel started the machine.
When the image came up on the screen, Joel pointed out the pertinent parts as both Matt and C.J. squinted their eyes to look at their baby.
"He's pretty tiny," Matt noted.
"Well he or she's still got a ways to go before birth," Joel explained, "but the fetus looks very good, very healthy."
C.J. breathed a sigh of relief and realized that she didn't even know she had been holding her breath that long. She felt herself relax at the news that her baby appeared healthy and she looked over at Matt but his eyes were fixated on the screen.
"This is amazing," he said, "I never thought I'd see anything so amazing."
Joel smiled.
"The miracles of modern day medicine," he said, "Only a hundred years ago, there was no way to see the baby until it was born."
Matt touched the screen with his finger.
"What's this?"
"The baby's heartbeat," C.J. answered, caught in her own sense of wonder at the miracle of life.
And Matt knew that even if he lived to be a ripe old age, he would never forget the morning spent in a remote corner of Alaska looking at his own child for the first time.
After Matt and C.J. left Joel's office, they headed for lunch at the Brick. Matt had been pretty much rendered speechless by what he had seen and C.J. fell into a reflective silence as well. When they entered into the restaurant, Shelli greeted them at the door.
"Adam's in the kitchen working on a soufflé and has kicked everyone else out," she said, "But there's still some soup on the stove if you'd like some."
Matt looked at C.J. and she nodded, before they went to sit in one of the booths. Shelli returned to their table after placing their orders.
"You had your ultrasound didn't you," she asked, "How'd it go?"
C.J. smiled.
"It was…"
"Amazing…," Matt finished.
"That's so bitchin'," Shelli said, "Hollings and I had to fly to Anchorage to get ultrasounds until Maurice finally bit the bullet and bought the town a machine."
"Dr. Fleischman said the baby's healthy and growing very well," C.J. said, "I didn't realize how much I wanted to be reassured until he told me."
Shelli beamed.
"Of course everything's going well," she said, "You're still very young and you've got plenty of years to pop out babies ahead of you."
Matt and C.J. looked at each other.
"I think I'm going to pace myself," C.J. said with a smile.
Shelli nodded.
"That's probably smart," she said, "though try to tell the men that."
She shook her head walking back to the bar. Matt and C.J. watched her go.
"That will be you soon enough," Matt said with a smile.
C.J. rubbed her forehead.
"I think I can wait a little while before I start bursting," she said, "I already have to change my wardrobe. Those women were so thoughtful to give me some clothes."
"Yeah I imagine it might be difficult to find some…"
"Maternity clothes, Houston…"
He brightened.
"Oh yes, I mean the selection here might not be as good as…"
"A big city like L.A. you mean," she finished for him.
He nodded.
"Houston, I like it here," she said, "I'm not saying I want to stay here forever or even have the baby here but for the first time in a long time, I feel really at home somewhere. I don't think I've really felt that way since we left Texas."
Matt knew what she meant. As much as he liked L.A., he had mostly come out west to prove to himself and his very successful father that he could build a great life for himself under his own steam. He had always loved spending time with his father but he felt a bit chafed by the family name and all it represented in the business and political world. He wanted to provide the same gift to any children he had and this one would be a good place to start.
"So how long do you plan on staying here," he asked.
She shrugged.
"At least until Ed's film premieres," she said, "I don't think I want to miss that and I want to have some more time to relax before I go back to the old world."
"We don't have to go back to L.A.," he said, "We could start someplace fresh."
She shook her head, even as a part of her grabbed at the idea of doing just that.
"Houston, you've got family in L.A.," she reminded him, "Your uncle Roy and your cousin live there."
"You and our baby are my family," he said, "and I want us to find a place where we can provide him or her with the same kind of life that we enjoyed."
C.J. wanted that for her child, to grow up in a place where the roots of community ran deep and where there would be plenty of space for him or her to run, to play and to grow up. Some place like Texas. But Matt had ties to L.A. that he had just reconnected with during the past year or so and the casual attitude didn't hide the deep seated feelings of desire within Matt to rebuild the ties with the family that he had left. But what lie deep inside was the feeling that she needed to love and be loved by the father of her children. She knew she loved Matt and had told him that, but what about his feelings towards her?
Matt watched the pensiveness settle over her face and wondered what had occupied her mind. He realized he had left her question unanswered but she had to know how much he cared for her and their child. After all, he had made it clear to her that he planned to be there for her and the baby even if it meant leaving L.A. Even if it had meant moving permanently to this remote town in Alaska to be there for his family.
He didn't regret how his life had turned out at all. In the back of his mind, he had always known that C.J. would be a fixture in his life, ever since they had first met as small children in rural Texas. His father had asked him without pushing the issue if he was ever going to find a woman like her, meaning her. But Matt had not been able to see his lifelong friend in that light. Until the night they had spent together and now he had trouble seeing her any other way.
He looked up and saw Chris approach the table where they sat, just after Shelli had brought them some thick vegetable and beef soup. C.J. had settled into her meal happily and Matt had eaten his soup after making sure that she had eaten hers.
"Hi Chris," C.J. said.
He stopped and stared at her.
"I don't know what it is about you," he said, "but you just have this glow."
"We just got back from the doctor," Matt explained, "Dr. Fleischman showed us an ultrasound of our baby."
Chris' brows rose.
"That must have been out of sight," he said, "You know some of the great philosophers might say that the miracle of life doesn't have to be seen to be fully appreciated...whereas others might say that confronting life's miracle makes us all believers."
C.J. nodded.
"That makes some sense Chris."
Matt noticed the way she said his name but then he had heard about the young dee jay's magnetism around women.
"What do you think Houston," she asked, "Do you agree with Chris or not?"
Matt looked at the both of them.
"I view my child as a miracle," he said, "if that makes sense."
Chris nodded.
"Yeah man," he said, "It totally does. I mean I wouldn't know because as far as I know I've never had kids…"
"As far as you know," Matt asked.
Chris shrugged.
"I go wherever life moves me," he said, "Like my own father."
Matt shook his head.
"I could never turn my back on my own child," he said.
Chris nodded at that too.
"That's totally powerful man," he said, "and it's from the heart."
Matt found himself growing irritated.
"Of course it is," he said, "My daddy taught me from the time I was a little boy about the importance of family."
Chris sighed.
"My father never was around to teach me much of anything," he said, "But my mother said I have his wanderlust."
C.J. looked at the both of them.
"I think it's great that you knew that about your fathers," she said, "Mine died when I was very young. I don't have many memories left of him."
"You know that he loved you very much," Matt said.
C.J. nodded.
"But he's not going to ever know my child," she said, "but then my mother died too when I was just young enough to remember her."
Matt had always known that the loss of both her parents at such a young age had molded her into the kind of person she became but mostly in good ways. It was like his friend to make the best of situations that weren't under her control. In her case, she had grown up to be an excellent student and a hard hitting lawyer with a degree with the top law school in the nation.
"So are you coming to my poetry reading tonight," Chris asked.
C.J. nodded.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," she said, "Has Bernard arrived yet?"
Chris sighed.
"His plane got delayed in Toronto," he said, "He won't get into town until late tomorrow."
"I can't wait to meet him," C.J. said.
"Sure thing," Chris said, "But I'll save you a special seat at the poetry reading and if you'd like to go out for coffee later, we can talk more about our engagement in the creative arts."
She smiled.
"I can't drink coffee," she said, "but herbal tea would be great."
Matt watched the two of them set up plans…or what sounded more like a date. What exactly was going on here, he wondered as he watched Chris walk away looking happy. C.J. turned her focus back on Matt.
"Now what were we talking about," she asked.
Matt just remained silent, not really remembering.