Chapter 3 is up!! :) The story will start to really pick-up after this chapter!!! Where does Harry go from here, and most importantily what will happen with Janeway/Paris/Torres!! I know your all bitting your nails LOL!! But, hopefully it won't take me long to write the next chap!! Enjoy!!!

R&R!!!

Chapter 3--Lithium

Tom walked through the hallways of Voyager, as he got closer to the infirmary an ever present pit in his stomach made itself more noticable. It was almost unbearable, it almost hurt.

He entered the infirmary for his shift, he saw the Doctor lead Harry gentily to one of the bio-beds. They spoke, to be more precise the Doctor was talking, Harry just sat there, ignoring him. The Doctor spoke softly, Tom could tell from where he was standing, a part of him told him to go and assist the Doctor, but a larger, louder part of him said to keep his distance.

He started to pace, his mind went to what happened in the holodeck the night before. He remembered the heat, he remembered her body, the way she felt, the way she tasted, the curves of her hips, the sound of her heart mercilessly pounding against her breasts, the sweat on her back, the sweat on his brow. He had always thought of her as attractive, but last night she was a goddess.

"Are you listening?" The Doctor said, raising his voice slightly. Tom turned around, embarrassed, he hoped his face wouldn't betray him to the Doctor.

"What?" Tom said slightly disorrientated.

"I said, I have to debrief you on Mr. Kim's condition." The Doctor said, taking in Tom's strange behaviour.

"Are you alright?" The Doctor took out his tricorder to examine the young man. Tom moved away.

"I'm fine...."

"Your sweating, your heart rate is up, and you seem disorrientated. You maybe ill." He made another move to examine Tom, and again Tom moved away.

"I said I'm fine. I....I was just thinking of....some....something." Tom stammered, he really was hoping the Doctor would let this die.

The Doctor raised his eyebrow, he wasn't buying Tom's story, he opened his mouth.

"You want to debrief me, I, I really.....really don't want to be a part of his treatment. Maybe you can ask someone else to help you." He then wiped his brow from the sweat.

"I know this has been difficult...."

"Difficult...." Tom scoffed "That's an interesting way to put it. Difficult would be more like the bolts on a carborator that just won't loosen-up. Difficult would be telling the ship to go ¼ impulse, and it goes at ½! This has been a nightmare."

"Imagine how it's been for Mr. Kim...."

"I know exactly how it has been for him." he snapped.

"No, you haven't, it's not entirely his fault." The Doctor defended.

"So now your just going to excuse his behaviour. I am sick and tired of him going off the deep end just because I make a harmless suggestion." Tom walked to Harry.

"I know what you've gone through." He said raising his voice slightly, he could feel himself loosing control, teetering over the edge.

"But, your a selfish, self-serving BASTARD!!" He found himself screaming, he didn't know what came over him, he didn't think Harry was a selfish, self-serving bastard, but all the anger, resentment, and tongue bitting came back, in droves.

"I have bit my tongue, countless times, I have been walking on eggshells for months. Not just me, but B'ellanna, Chakotay, hell even the captain has had to watch what she says to you. You want to blame me for not telling the truth, fine! I lied Harry, I lied to you, you fucking idiot, because I was ordered to lie, but now I see it was the right decision."

He turned around, started to pace, the Doctor watched in shock, Harry just sat there, his eyes on the ground.

"Mr. Paris, control youself. This isn..."

"I will tell you this, I didn't, or more like, I am not the one whose going to supposidely kill you. I am not responsible for what will supposidely happen to you, that is...." he pointed a finger straight at the younger man. "Solely on you, you are going to make some huge mistakes, and let's face it, that's what's really eating you up, ISN'T IT!"

"I didn't kill Dean! You killed him." Tom shouted on the top of his lungs. He regretted the words the moment he said them. He was appauled by them.

"Harry, I did...."

"Don't." Harry said softly. "Your right, you didn't kill him, I did."

"No, you didn't." The Doctor glared at Tom, he had spent most of yesterday afternoon, and this morning telling Harry that the unfortunate events on board the Seanix's ship was not his fault, and in a matter of a few minutes it went right out the proverable air lock.

"Harry, he's right. I've....I've been stressed, and I didn't mean. I'm sorry."

"I'm really not feeling well, I just want to lie down." Harry never looked at Tom, he lied down, the Doctor informed him that he would be sedated to help him sleep. Once Harry was asleep, the Doctor slammed the tricorder onto the bio-bed.

"I spent most of yesterday, and today trying to convince him what happened wasn't his fault." He chastised.

"I don't know what got over me, I didn't mean it."

"You already said that, but the damage is done, Mr. Paris." he said with a calmer tone, but he still kept it very stern.

"I'll talk to him when he wakes-up."

"No, you won't." The Doctor snapped.

"What's wrong with him?" Tom inquired, he didn't know how to make things better, it seemed these days he only knew how to make things worse.

"Right now, I am more worried about you. You said you've been stressed." His tone was more sympathetic.

"Oh god!" Tom shook his head "I did something....really.....really stupid last night."

"Naturally."

"It's just that...." He stopped himself, he couldn't even tell the Doctor, even if he did ask him to stay quiet, he knew he couldn't betray the captain's trust.

"What?"

"Nothing. What's wrong with Harry?"

"Whatever happened last night, anything you tell me it's confidential."

"I bet."

"Well, as long as it isn't against protocal, or an infectious disease, I will not tell anyone."

"Why won't you just tell me what's wrong with him?" Tom snapped, starting to feel the stress of keeping the secret, of knowing that he cheated on B'elanna.

"Why won't you tell me what happened?"

"Because, I'm not the only one involved."

The Doctor took an exasperated breath, even though he didn't actually take in any air, he liked the effect that it had.

"I will not betray confidentiality of either one of you." The Doctor reassured, Tom took a quick look at the door, then turned back to the Doctor.

"I, I, um....I slept with a woman last night."

"Well, it's nice you acknowledge Lt. Torres is a woman."

"It wasn't....her."

"Oooooh!" Tom shifted uncomfortably "I see. My condolences."

"For what?"

"B'elanna's going to kill you when she finds out."

"Thanx Doc, I feel so much better."

"My pleasure." The Doctor smirked.

"Aren't you suppose to say something to the effect, don't worry about it? Something more comforting then she's going to kill me."

"Your right. I should say something."

"You see, bedside manners."

"Aren't, isn't a word." The Doctor walked to his office,

"Funny!" Tom followed the Doctor to his office, they sat at the table, the Doctor pressed a few buttons at his personal computer.

"It's your fault, getting involved with a half-Klingon, and then cheating on her. If I didn't know any better I'd say your suicidial."

"I just needed someone to......" He trailed off, he wasn't certain he wanted to discusse something so personal with the Doctor.

"You needed someone to....what?" He scrunched his face, he didn't undestand why this was so difficult for Tom to explain.

"You know, I would usually talk to Harry about this."

"He's obviously not in any shape to deal with your.....indiscretion."

"I know." Tom conceded.

"Why don't you tell her the truth. She might forgive you if your honest." The Doctor said, he wasn't as angry now, but he still had a low simmering disgust for Tom's behaviour earlier.

"That's if she doesn't kill you first." He swiveled the computer to face Tom and continued "I have found something disturbing in Mr. Kim's blood work."

"Disturbing?"

"I found foreign DNA in his blood." The Doctor said tenatively, he had to admit this was beyond anything he had seen before, and he had seen a lot of strange, and peculare things, but nothing like this.

"Foreign DNA? How did it get inside of him?" Tom felt a familiar twist of the knot in his stomach, he had a bad feeling the foreign DNA wasn't the disturbing part the Doctor was refering to.

The Doctor signed.

"The only possible way was for him to ingest it."

"I'm still really confused, this DNA, it's not humoid? Is it?"

"Unfortunately, it is." Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing, the Doctor couldn't be suggesting what he thought he was suggesting.

"I don't know exactly how it happened. However, when Dean and Harry were beamed back onto the ship, he was covered in blood, none of which was his own."

"I know, I found him, them, I found both of them." Tom found himself stammering, he felt like he was falling apart, what else could be throw at him? How much more could he take?

"I believe it would be safe to assume that Mr. Kim had to fight his way out, it is possible some of the blood may have, accidentily, been ingested." If the Doctor could, he would have swallowed. If he could intake any air, he would have held his breath, but he did clench his teeth, and he clinched his fist tightly.

"It is also possible, it was done intentionally." The Doctor continued.

"Intentionally? Who would do something like that?"

"The blood has a protein, it traveled through his blood stream to his lymph nodes, where it has begun reproducing, and his lymph nodes are disbursing it like a normal hormone. This protien however, is no where near being a normal hormon. It's literally wrecking havoc on his system. It mimics the symptoms of Schizophrenia."

"Schizo-what?" Tom looked at him quizzically, he could have sworn the Doctor made that word-up.

The Doctor exhaled exasperated "Only you Mr. Paris would say, Schizo-what" He shook his head, he wondered for a moment if he didn't have the wrong person in his infirmary.

"Schizophrenia, is a psychical and psychological disorder that humans use to suffer from. It was actually very common, and sometimes can be passed down from family member to family member."

"And he has something similiar to schizo, schizo....?"

"Schizophrenia. Humans use to believe that demons possession was the cause for the suffurer's strange behaviour. It took hundreds of years for humans to realize it was a real condition, fortunately, a cure was found over 300 years ago."

"Okay, so what are we exactly dealing with?"

"There are two types of sympatoms, negative and positive. Negative symptoms are a lack of interest, loss of motivation, lack of emotion, problems concentrating. Positive symptoms are hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia."

"That's Harry alright. So, if you have a cure, this should be easy to help him."

"I said it mimics the symptoms of the disease. The cure is another matter. I have begun to treat him, but there are complication. Mr. Kim.......is an alcoholic." Tom lowered his head, he had his suspicions.

"This doesn't surprise you." The Doctor said astonished.

"I caught him a few times drunk, but, I thought that synthale wasn't addictive."

"It isn't synthale he's been consuming. How many times is a few times?" The Doctor hedged, he wasn't going to let Tom off the hook.

"Once, maybe twice. I tried to talk to him, but I got the usual reaction. I didn't know it was this serious. Did you tell him he's an alcoholic?"

"He's in denial."

"Of course he is." Tom muttered.

"Speaking of denial, when were you planning on coming to me with your problem?" The Doctor crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow.

"Problem? What problem? I just told you about...."

"That isn't what I'm talking about and you know it." The Doctor snapped, he was quiet for a moment, hoping Tom would take the lead, Harry wasn't the only one having trouble dealing the past few months.

"Your depressed Mr. Paris, nothing is going to get better if you don't at least try to."

"I'm not depressed." Tom defended, but found he didn't have the energy to have another arguement with the Doctor.

"You have all the classic symptoms of depression."

"You know this just by looking at me." He scoffed "I'm just fine." He stood-up.

"I have an acute visual diagonostic capabilities, that and I scanned you when you weren't looking."

Tom sat down, he felt like a weight had been taken off his shoulders, even if it was short-term.

"I'm not fine, not by a long shot."

"The good news is your treatment should be a lot easier then Mr. Kim's. We can set a schedule of medication and sessions for you, we can work around your bridge duty."

"Medication? Sessions? I don't think so, I guess.....I could talk about....it, but I'm not taking medication." Tom shifted uneasily.

"You have to, to regulate the chemicals in your brain. You also need to talk about Dean's death. I know it hasn't just effected Mr. Kim, but you as well."

"Fine."

"Well, that was easy." The Doctor remarked astonished.

"I am so tired; I'm tired of worrying about Harry, I'm tired of forcing myself out of bed, to put a fake smile on my face. I'm tired of always having these thoughts."

"What thoughts?"

"Sometimes, I think it would be a whole lot easier if I killed Harry." Tom shifted uneasily. "Both of us."

"I see, how many times have you had these thoughts?" The Doctor could see the problem was a lot more serious then he first estimated.

"I don't know, once....or three times."

"I won't lie to you, that is disturbing. But, it's natural to have anger, resentment towards him. He hasn't made it easy for you."

"It's natural to want to kill my best friend."

"Well....no! But, the feelings are."

"Whatever. When do we start?"

"Right away."

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