Hey everyone!!! Sorry this took so long, I had to really contemplate where I was going with this story. I kinda knew where I was going, but the exact details needed some serious ironing out!! To say the least., and yes that was my head doing a major *headesk*

Just a few notes here, I know this may seem like Harry is just having one bad thing happen after another, but I promise things will get better for him. :) As well, I hope the ending won't be...er, too surprising!! And plz stop throwing tomatoes, you guys have to agree it's more fun when things are more complicated!!! Ahahahaha!!!

R&R greatly appreciated!!!

Chapter 4--The tower is short, but the fall is endless

"Mr. Kim?" The Doctor bent down in front of Harry, who was sitting on the floor, shaking. The shakes started 10 days ago, they seemed to come and go as they pleased, like they had a mind of their own, much like the other symptoms Harry had exhibited.

"How are you feeling today?" The Doctor inquired, he ran the tricorder over the young man's body, knowing the answer before Harry could answer. He was quiet, pale, a small pool of tears had now dried just under his eyes, he didn't answer.

"I know this is difficult, but you have to remember it's not real." He wiped away a tear from under his eye then stood-up.

"Why do you even bother?" Tom asked exasperated.

"I hope your not giving-up." The Doctor walked to a medical tray, and replaced the tricorder for a hypospray.

"No. But he doesn't hear you, he's completely consumed by his hellucinations." Harry gasped, he started to claw at his skin, scratch and tearing, he began to bleed, then he screamed.

Tom and the Doctor held him down, the Doctor injected him with a hypospray, he stopped struggling, but still seemed to be transfixed by the hellucinations.

"I'm going to sedate him he needs to rest, help me get him on the bio-bed." Tom nodded, and together they helped Harry onto the bed.

Tom put a hand on his friend's shoulder, who looked right at him, Tom knew Harry didn't know he was there, most likely he couldn't feel his touch, but it broke his heart to see his friend like this.

"Help me." Harry said softly, the Doctor and Tom looked at each other.

"We're trying to."

"I'm....I'm scared. I don't know what's real." Harry began to cry "Are you real?"

Tom could feel his throat tighten-up, his eyes started to water, he found it hard to speak, to breath. He held Harry's hand in his.

"You feel that, that's my hand." He squeezed his hand "You feel the warmth, the touch, it's real, I'm real."

"Mr. Kim, I'm going to sedate you, you need to rest." Harry nodded his head, soon he was asleep, Tom walked away, covering his face with his hand, the Doctor followed him.

"Are you alright?"

"Just leave me alone." Tom screamed at him, "Leave me the hell alone."

"Okay, I'll be...."

"Just go!" He snapped.

The Doctor walked back to Harry, if he could cry he would, he wanted to scream, to throw something, he has never felt so helpless as a psyician. He looked down at the self-inflicted wounds, they were deep, and were still bleeding. He picked-up a tricorder as the Captain and a man who he recognized as Cor'tanian walked in.

"Doctor, how's he doing?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Not well." He answered, then looked at the man that stood just behind the captain, the Doctor could tell he was visually examing his patient.

"Are these self-inflicted?" He pointed to Harry's arms.

"Yes, they are. Who are you?"

"I'm sorry, this is Dr. Marran, Dr. Marran this is our doctor." The captain introduced them "We contacted the Cor'tans, apparentily there have been others who have been infected, they refered us to Dr. Marran, he's a specialist."

"You've treated other successfully?" The Doctor inquired cautiously.

"I have an institution 50 light years from here, I have treated others for over 11 years now. We had a breakthrough 5 years ago. What can you tell me about his symptoms?"

"Mr. Kim is human, you've never treated a human, his psyicology is different from Cor'tanian."

"I'm hoping you can help me adjust the medication I devoloped to suite him, but my program isn't just about medication, it's an intensive treatment plan. That's why he needs to be at our facility. I will give you a detailed plan of actioin."

Tom walked back in, his eyes were red, and slightly puffy, Kathryn shifted slightly, she was hoping not to see him today, she found that she often imagined ways to get rid of him. She came up with "accidentily" pushing him out an airlock, strapping him to a photon torpedo, or possibly selling him on the black market. She liked that one the best, she could use a new hairpin.

Tom looked at her, god she was beautiful, god he wished he hadn't seen her today. He often imagined ways to not see her, possibly leave Voyager for a while. He could join a group of marauders, a traveling circus, or a music band that only played Beatles music, and lived the true life of sex, drugs (maybe not that one) and rock 'n' roll. He took a deep breath, he liked that one the best, he looked hot in leather pants.

"Can you tell me how long it has been since he's been responsive?" Dr. Marran asked as he ran a strange looking instrument over Harry's still body.

"He was responsive just a few moments ago." The Doctor said.

"Why did you sedate him?"

"He hasn't been sleeping, he needed to rest, and I didn't want him to become aggitated as I treated him." Dr. Marran nodded his head.

"When can we transport him?"

"Transport? He's not going anywhere." Tom said, he could feel himself getting aggitated. "Who the hell are you?"

"That's enough Lieutenant." Janeway said sternly.

"No, it's not. Harry stays here with people he knows." Tom started to shout.

"I agree with Mr. Paris, the best place for him is here, he may feel like we abandoned him. Especially since you are going to give me the treatment plan anyways. I am well versed in his medical history, human psyicology, and the treatment of his illness so far."

"I understand where you are coming from Doctor, but our facility is the only one of it's kind, we treat many different mental afflictions, from a vast number of alien species. However we specialize in the treatment of this particulare infection. It's more common then you think."

"What if Harry doesn't want to go? It's his life, he should be able to make his own decisions."

"Harry is far from mentally fit to make his own decisions. I'm making the decision for him, prep him for transport." Kathryn said; it amazed even her how cold she sounded. It was far from her intention, she was exhausted both mentally and psycically, and she found her emotions to be precarious at best.

"I don't recommend that captain." Dr. Marran spoke-up "Lieutenant...."

"Tom Paris, Harry's my best friend, and I'll be damned if I'm just going to abandon him at some instituion." Tom snapped.

"Lieutenant Paris is right, we shouldn't transport him down to our instituion, he should be made aware of our plans. That way he doesn't feel like you just dropped him off, we should reassure him that you will come back for him. Please, do wake him up, we'll discusse this with him."

The Doctor finished healing Harry's wounds, then injected him with a hypospray, within seconds Harry opened his eyes. Everyone stared at him for a moment, none of them knew how he would react, they all seemed to be on edge whenever Harry was involved.

Harry slowly sat-up, he felt tired, dizzy, disoriented, and completely out of control of his whole body. He knew something was wrong, they all looked at him like he had three heads, his eye twitched, he nervously tucked his hair behind his ear two times. He saw a Cor'tanian malewho made Harry very self-consious, he looked at the young man like he was the most disgusting thing he had ever set eyes on.

"Harry," Kathryn was the first to speak "This is Dr. Marran, he's a specialist."

Harry didn't respond, he moved back a little unaware of how far he was from the edge of the bio-bed.

"He's here to help you." She continued, the doctor just stood there, Harry didn't believe this man was a "specialist" he didn't believe he was there to help him; he wasn't entirely certain he was seeing, or hearing any of this, they might not be real, to Harry nothing was real.

Suddenly, without warning Dr. Marran's face started to change, his skin was pasty white, his eyes turned midnight black and they popped slightly out of their socket. A snake came out of his ear and slithered into his mouth, he ate it with his fang like teeth, and he smiled maliciously at Harry.

"Come with me Harry, I'm make you all better." He laughed mockingly at Harry. "Don't worry about your hellucinations, they're the least of your worries." Harry turned to the captain who also changed, her eyes were glazed over, she was drooling, there was a 10 inch long surgical scar on her forehead.

"It's alright Harry, the treatment will make you all better. Just like me." The captain said as if she just had a lobotomy.

Harry's eye started to twitch uncontrollably, he pulled at his hair until chunks came out. He tried to stay calm, he just had to keep believing it wasn't real, he started to mutter to himself, still pulling at his hair.

"Mr. Kim, look at me." The Doctor gripped Harry's wrist, untangling his fingers from his hair. "Dr. Marran has a proven treatment."

"Tell, tell him, t-to....um, give you the treatment, tell him, I don't want him....near me." Harry tried his best not to look at the evil doctor. "Tell him to give you the treatment."

"He doesn't want to go." Tom felt as out of control as Harry did, his own treatment for depresion was going well, but Harry's declining mental state wasn't helping, he would take 1 step forward, 5 steps back.

"Where am I going?" Harry asked, but no one answered.

"This isn't up for discussion. Harry, we'll be at the institution within a few days, you are going." Kathryn put a hand on his shoulder, she rubbed it softly, Harry looked at her hand, it was boney, he could see her veins bulging through, her fingers grew into long pointy tenticules, they reached out to his neck, he pulled away.

"Captain, may I speak to you?" Dr. Marran walked to a safe distance from Harry, he didn't want him to hear what he had to say. Harry could see them all huddled together, Dr. Marran kept looking at him, why did he always look at him?

Harry pulled at his hair again, he saw a hypospray on the medical tray beside his bed, he was scared, he knew if he went with this "doctor" he would never get better. He grabbed the hypospray, and ran to the captain, wrapping his arm around her chest, pulling her towards him, he put the hypospray to her neck.

"Harry, you don't want to do this." Dr. Marran tried to reason.

"Shut-up! I don't like you!" He backed-up, quickly checking where he was going.

"Okay, Harry, we'll just talk." Tom reassured, he took a tentative step forward. Harry took two steps back.

"This is my medication....is-isn't it. I wonder what will happen if I gave it to her?"

"Hold on! No reason to do anything rash....anything you might regret." Tom could feel sweat forming on his brow, what if he couldn't talk Harry down, he would be partly responsible for what could happen to her. He always cared deeply for the captain, but after that night, he had a bond with her, she was now so much more then just his captain.

"This....medication sup-supose to keep me sane. She's sane, maybe if she had it she would be insane. Like me!" Tears started to fall down his face, Tom could see he was more desperate then anything else.

"You are my best friend, you always believed in me. You remember what you said to me in the mess hall, right after Cavit and Dr. Fitzgerald told you about me?"

"You better be going somewhere with this Lt." The Doctor muttered.

"I don't get it either, I'm insane, not stupid. You're trying to pull something." Kathryn could feel Harry's arms shacking against her chest, his grip was tight, she could feel the needle of the hypospray being pressed deeper into her skin.

Her eyes met with Tom's she pleaded with him, she felt so scared, usually she would be able to control her emotions, but these last few weeks have been an emotional hell for her. She would get angry at the drop of a hat, she would be laughing one second, and cry the next. One time she literally cried over spilled milk; what the hell was wrong with her?

"You said you didn't need anyone to pick your friends. You believed in me, you didn't even know me, and you already believed in me, more then anyone had ever. The point is, you always trusted me, trust me now." Tom took a deep breath, god he really hoped this would work.

"Dr. Marran won't hurt you, trust me, please.....give me the hypospray." Tom held out his hand, he didn't move, Harry's eyes were on his outstretched hand. It didn't shake, it was steady, nothing came out of it, Tom didn't turn into a monster, Dean didn't suddenly appear.

"Will you come with me?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yeah, I will. And I'll come visit you as much as I can." Tom took another step forward, Harry handed the hypospray to Tom.

Kathryn pulled away, she ran into the Doctor's office, she hated the idea of anyone seeing her as weak. Harry back the rest of the way to the wall, he fell to the ground, he openly weeped, he was so damn tired.

A few days later Harry and Tom arrived at the institution and were shown to Harry's room. A small 10x10 room that was empty save for a small bed, with a pillow and no sheets. They were both surprised to see how little was in there; how small the room was. Harry felt like the walls were caving in on him, they seemed to be coming alive.

A young woman came into the room, she had a syringe in her hand she smiled warmly at Harry.

"This is Damita, she will be your attendant." She then handed Dr. Marran the syringe, Harry knew it was for him, he shifted, there were no windows, the door was blocked, and he really didn't know how far he could get with the two guards just outside his room.

"Don't worry Harry, everything will be okay, this medication will help with your hellucinations." Dr. Marran injected the medication, he smiled, it made Harry uncomfortable.

"Mr. Paris, I think you should leave."

"I told Harry I would stay with him."

"I'm sorry, but the first 30 days must be done alone." He handed the syringe back to Damita, who disposed of it in what looked like a receptacal in the wall.

"You never mentioned this." Tom defended, he was starting to feel some of his friend's anxiety about this place.

"I informed your captain about the restrictions, if you have a problem with them I recommend taking it up with her. You'll have to leave now." He snapped impatiently, he turned his lip in disgust.

"Tom, you said you would stay with me." Harry pleaded "Don't leave me."

"Let's go Mr. Paris." Dr. Marran demanded, Tom turned around and left the room, followed by Dr. Marran and Damita.

"Don't leave me, you said you wouldn't leave me." Harry screamed, the door closed quickly behind them. Harry tried the door and found that it was locked. He started to bang on the door, screaming, however on the other side Tom couldn't hear anything, he turned around and walked away.

Harry eventually fell asleep, the next morning he woke to find he was in a 4 point restraint. He pulled at the straps, looking around he found Dr. Marran sitting in a chair at the end of his bed, and another Cor'tanian man.

"What's going on?" Harry asked frantically "Why am I strapped down? Who the hell are you?" He pulling more at the restraints.

"Who he is, is not important." Dr. Marran smirked.

"I'm hellucinating, I'm just going to close my eyes, and this will all be gone." Harry closed his eyes for a moment then opened them again to find everything was the same.

"The medication I gave you temporarily sedued your hellucinaitons. This is all very, very real." He smirked again, Harry came to the realization that the hellucination of Dr. Marran turning into a monster wasn't incorrect.

Harry pulled at his restraints, he screamed for help.

"Sound proof, no one can hear you Harry." The other man laughed, an attended moved a piece of machinary over Harry's head, and turned it on. A bright light shined brightly into his eyes.

"Let's begin."

The eight ball slid into the corner pocket, the white ball bounced against the side of the pool table. A smile would usually adorn Tom's handsome face after that amazing shot, but lately he had nothing really to smile about. He played three games of pool, the oppoinent, himself, it just wasn't the same without Harry. He guzzled the last of his drink as the door to the holodeck opened.

"How you doing?" Kathryn enquired, as Tom pulled the balls out, and placed them on top of the table.

"I'm just fine." He walked around her, took the triangle out of it's place and started to arrange the balls in order.

"I wanted to talk to you." She turned to face him, her stomach started to knot, this was going to be more difficult then she thought it would be.

"I don't think that's a good idea, remember what happened last time you came in here to....talk to me."

"That's why I'm here."

"I get it, you....." Tom lifted the triangle delicately, replaced the triangle into it's spot, picking-up the white ball he lined his shot.

"You made a mistake." He pulled the cue back and broke the rack, sinking two of the stripped balls. "Regret what we did. Your not the only one."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? Regretting what we did, your the captain and I'm the guy who got his ass kicked out of Starfleet and joined the Maqui. You have a reputation to protect."

"I'm sorry because obviously I hurt you when I just left." She started to feel dizzy, she caught herself on the side of the table.

"Kathryn, are you okay?" He tapped his comm badge.

"No, I'm fine. Just a little dizzy." She raised an eyebrow. "Kathryn?" She put a hand on her hip.

"I've seen you naked, I think I can call you Kathryn." He took another shot, sinking a solid colour.

"It's a real good thing I secured the door when I came in." She smirked.

"Can you do me a favour? Please, don't put your hand on your hip."

"Excuse me?" This wasn't exactly how she pictured this conversation would unfold, but with Tom things didn't usually go as planned. It was most likely why he was so impulsive, lived dangerously, and god he was hot playing pool.

"I have a feeling you were one of those girls growing-up, that every guy wanted to be with, and had no idea." Tom chuckled.

"I was too busy studying for Starfleet, and perfecting my backhand to notice guys, noticing me." They both laughed. Tom lined another shot, adjusting his position to best hit the stripped ball into the corner pocket.

"Tom, I'm pregnant." She announced as he took the shot, the cue went into the felt, tearing it."

"What?" He stood-up, his eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"I know, I was shocked when I found out too. How could you be so stupid?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Me? I didn't have sex by myself, I distinctly remember you partipating." He said defensively.

"I am more then willing to take responsibility for my part in this mess, but you have a girlfriend, don't you use protection?"

"Well....no! We, we were having trouble, we really weren't.....what are we going to do?"

"We? Who said anything about we?" Tom was stunned, he thought she would give him a chance, at the very least let him have some time to think things through before making her mind up for the both of them.

"Kathryn..."

"Don't Kathryn me, I am still your captain, regardless of what happened in our after hours. Keeping that in mind, I have a reputation to keep, if the crew knew I slept with you, I think they might loose faith in me all together, and there might be a mutiny."

"I'm being serious here." He snapped, he was seriously contemplating strangling her. He liked it so much more before they saw each other naked.

"So I am! I'm going to tell everyone it's Chakotay's, he's already agreed." She turned around and started for the exit.

"Good old Chakotay, the white knight to the rescue." He turned on his heels, her back still to him. "Tell me, does your white knight know you've been screwing around with the black knight behind his back. Maybe that's why he's agreed to take the fall." He bit his lip, and gripped the cue hard. Kathryn turned around, she tilted her head, she couldn't tell if he was being brave, or increadably stupid.

"He isn't 'taking the fall', he's being a good friend. And don't worry about anyone knowing that your are, unfortatunately, the sperm donor. You better watch your mouth, one more outburst like that and you'll be spending the rest of the trip home in the brig. Is that clear?" She used her authoritative captain's voice.

"Crystal." He answered between gritted teeth.

"Excuse me."

"Crystal clear, ma'am!"

"That's better." She turned around, then stopped herself, she looked like she wanted to say something more, she shook her head and walked away. He had to give her credit, she had a knack for leaving him in Sandrine's wanting more.

Hit the review button and let me know what you guys think of the ending:)