Woohoo!! Chapter 6!!

I wrote this a while ago, nearly took me a week to write, but I never was satisfied with it!!! Yesterday, I re-wrote a lot of the chapter in two hours!! LOL!! it's amazing how silence is conducive to writing!!

a small note here, in the last chapter there was a line, where Dr. Marran says that the implants had to come out, I thought it over, and with the story I have planned, I have to change it to. his plan is working!! not the exact wording LOL!! but i am certain ya all get the drift!! ;)

talking about Dr. Marran, man I hate him!! ugh!! he's such an asshole, and yes he is my character, but wow!! i realized last chap how much I hate LOL!! so, hopefully soon he will find a very painful death!! Muhahahaha!!!

enjoy!!! :)

Chapter 6--Ch-ch-change

Harry was lying on a hard, cold table, strapped down, he could hear the instrument's high pitched drill, the smell of a new chip being sodered into his implant. Dr. Marran pressed hard, released his instrument slightly, a sweet second of relief, then more pressure, Harry was certain it was harder, more intense then the other, and the other, he knew it was diliberate. Dr. Marran's hand slipped slightly, Harry's head jerked, he didn't appologize, Harry could hear him snickering, his body shook slightly with glee.

Harry's body tingled, it vibrated with the device, even when they were removed, the smell, it was a disgusting, vile mixture of rotten eggs, melted metal, and burning flesh. He would feel it later, vomit for at least 20 minutes, the shakes, it felt like he was dying, relief in the form of a skeleton in a black robe and sicle would rescue him from his torture.

He could feel the tears coming, falling from his eyes, running the side of nose, eventually drying on his face, he hated crying, showing these two monsters the pain and suffering they were afflicting, it also confirmed how alone he was. The captain and Doctor were here just while ago, a day, or maybe it was 5, but they left, left him alone, no longer shedding any tears for him. He knew, they no longer shed tears for the once happy, entuciastic, young man. He was the only one shedding tears for him, he was weak, it was pathetic, he wondered if his parents stopped shedding tears for him.

"One more." Dr. Marran announced.

"Please stop." Harry begged through his tears.

"I can't, we're in too deep." Harry's arm jerked involuntarily.

"What was that?" A man who stood in the shadows of the room asked nervously.

"I hit something, don't worry about it." Harry could feel more pressure pressing hard against his head.

"I'm done, let's test him. Ask him something."

"Like what?"

"Anything. Something he wouldn't volunteer." The man stood a few feet away, he didn't want Harry to see his face, not just yet, not until he could be certain Harry would never turn on him. He thought for a short moment.

"Who was the first girl you kissed?"

"Go to hell." Harry said defiantly.

"Hell?" Dr. Marran couldn't see his associate, but he knew the man wasn't pleased.

"He says that a lot. I assume it's an awful place." He picked up a long, thin instrument with a point at the end. He touched the end to the implant. "Ask him again."

"Who was the first girl you kissed?" He asked again, he clenched his fist, his patience was waining.

"Kimberely Stewart."

"What colour was her hair?" He stepped forward, smiling, he finally had results to go back with, something he would want to go back and report. This project was loosing favour with his very affluent investors. He had to deal with their persistance of results, threatening him with removal of funds. If it didn't work this time, if the subject died; the project would be closed, his reprutation was at stake.

"Black."

"Do you want Dr. Marran to stop?" He tested.

"If he wants to." Harry's voice was monotoned as if he was hypomontized.

"Excellent!" He said enthusiastically.

"I'm going to remove my instrument, you may want to move back." The man nodded his head, and moved back. Dr. Marran removed his instrument. Harry blinked his eyes a few times, realizing what just happened.

"What the hell did you do to me?" Harry was frantic, he started to pull on his restraints.

"Stay calm, we must keep your blood pressure down. You could die."

"Death sounds better then this." Harry shouted.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." The man in the shadows said, ignoring Harry`s outburst. "I heard what you did."

"Who? Me?" Dr. Marran laughed. "What do you suspect I did?" He said nonchanlantly as he removed numberous instruments from Harry's exposed head.

"I know you had the attendents beat him." He paused, waiting for the "good" doctor to respond. "I also know you put him in an isolation room that wasn't working."

"I'm done, you shouldn't move for an hour."

"Where exactly are you expecting me to go?"

Harry pulled on the restraints, they stung against the bruises that littered his wrists and ankles. He screamed, he didn't know why, no one would hear him, no one that mattered could hear him. Yet, it was a release, he needed to scream, because it was the only thing he could do, it was the only thing they couldn't stop him from doing. They could sedate him, in the end he would wake-up again, and just scream more. That is until they finished turning him in their puppet, he didn't know their exact plans, some how, he knew they were prepping him to become an assassin. He was the perfect test subject, once a murder, always a murder.

"Doctor, you seem to be under the impression that you are irreplacable."

"These are my devices, I developed them, no one else knows how to install them but me."

"Install? I'm person, you don't install things into me." Harry yelled, pulling at the restraints on his arm and legs.

"Sedate him." The man in the shadows ordered.

"I can't! It would cause cardiac arrest after a procedure like this." He picked-up the same instrument from before, putting it against Harry's implants, Harry instantly stopped struggling.

The man in the shadows clenched his fists, Dr. Marran couldn`t see his face, but he knew the man was angry, he could hear the man breathing heavily, he could just imagine him contorting his face. Every breath, every exhalation, every flexed muscle, the vain in the man's neck that popped whenever he was angry. He knew what this man was capable of, the cruelity he showed Harry was nothing compared to what he may do to Dr. Marran if he failed.

"What did he do?" He spat.

"What?" Dr. Marran raised his head.

"What did the subject do?"

"Subject? Oh god!"

"Why did you order your attendents to beat him? Why did you almost ruin our plans?" Dr. Marran was silent for a while, he rubbed his forehead with his hand, he was surprised to find he was sweating.

"He slept with my daughter." The man laughed. "It's not funny. My daughter was pure before he put his filthy hands on her." Harry scoffed.

"Your daughter is anything but pure." Dr. Marran wasn't the only one capable of cruelty, it surprised Harry how little he cared about pain and suffering he caused. In the past, he would have never have said that, possibly he would never have slept with Damita, but something was missing in Harry, he could feel it, he just wasn't right anymore.

"If I was you Mr. Kim, I would be careful what I say." Dr. Marran seethed.

"If I was you doctor, I would be careful who I threaten. He's our first success, I'm not going to let you ruin years of hard work for your daughter's so called purity." Dr. Marran wanted to kill the man in the shadows, put him on his table of horrors.

"Besides, he's a young man, there is nothing wrong with...." He laughed again "him muddling around with your daughter's purity" He laughed again.

"Your captain has asked to see you." He continued "I suggest you convince her, by any means necessary, that you don't want to leave. I will be staying until you are done with the implantation. We don't want anymore misunderstandings. I'd hate to see you have.....an accident doctor." He said, then left the room.

Dr. Marran watched him leave, he was tired of this man always watching over his shoulder. Everything about him made Dr. Marran's skin crawl. His greasy hair, the incessant thin film of sweet, a strong, and rank smell of his body, mixed with his cheap cologne made for a putrid, vile smell. It made the old man want to vomit everytime he had the displeasure of being around the younger man.

Mostly, he knew what kind of man he was; years ago Dr. Marran was commissioned to develope the implant, one that could be embed into a Cor'tanian, however was versitile to be used in other species. The doctor knew it was cruel, he knew it would pain, he developed it to be such a way. Although, he had heard of experiments his associate had conducted to use the protein that Harry was infected with, to make soldiers callous, aggressive, murderous, stronger, faster, a super-soldier. What disturbed Dr. Marran even more, was that it was hailed as a success.

"Your lucky I gave you an anestetic." He said acrimonisly.

"Damita was great in bed, maybe I'll do her again." Harry laughed.

"You keep pushing, my hand may slip, and you won't be able to get it up.....ever!" He clenched his teeth, bringing the instument in his hand to Harry's abdomen, slowly moving it down, a thin, malicious smile creeped across his wrinkled face.

"I don't think so. Your friend might have a problem with it. I think your scared of him." Harry smiled.

"I suggest you don't sleep, you never know what might be missing when you wake-up."

Sitting in the meeting room, Kathryn began to tap her fingers angerly, she pressed her lips tightly against each other. She slammed her hand down onto the table, standing-up she began to pace. She couldn't take this waiting, this room, the air was stale, there was a strange smell, it reminded her of the time when she broke her arm, and she had to go to the hospital. She hated that hospital, she hated all hospitals, especially ones where the doctor came across shader then a Romulan.....no, cross that, a Cardassian. A Cardassian working for the Obsidian order.

"Captain, becoming aggitated isn't good for the baby." The Doctor reminded her, he hated to do it, she hated to hear it, but it had to be said, this child was one of the few good news in the last year, he wanted it to be as healthy as possible.

"It's been 3 hours, waiting in here is making me nervous. Not to mention that smell." She said as the door opened, Harry, Dr. Marran, and an attendent walked in.

"Harry, how are you?" She said keeping her emotions in check, she didn't want to come across as frantic, it was a fruitless attempt, none the less, she smiled as if nothing was wrong.

Harry looked at Dr. Marran, who was right behind him, as much as he enjoyed taunghting the old man, he scared Harry. The man was never short of creativity when it came to torture.

"I'm fine." He put his hand to his head, it was still throbbing, Dr. Marran pulled his hand away.

"Harry, remember how we talked about not pulling your hair." He put his hand down, he really just wanted to punch the son of a bitch.

"How are you....captain?" He struggled through the sentence, his eye twitched, his head throbbed, he could still feel the instruments pressing against his exposed head, the drill vibrating, the smells, the metallic taste in his mouth, he felt ill.

The captain and the Doctor exchanged looks, they could see he was struggling, he was in obvious pain. She truely didn't know if taking him out was a good idea. It was possible he still wasn't well enough to come home.

"I'm good. How are you feeling?" Dr. Marran moved to the other side of the room, she noted that Harry was watching him intently, that look of desperation and fear was still very evident in Harry's eyes.

Harry smirked as the attendant moved closer, he knew all of the male attendents carried a small weapon. He elbowed the attendent in the stomach, then grabbed his arm, twisting it behind his back forcing him to the ground. Then he slammed the man's head into the floor twice. Quickly, he grabbed the weapon and pointed it at Dr. Marran.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Dr. Marran questioned nervously.

"Shut-up." Harry ordered, although he had just assaulted an attendent and was pointed a weapon at his doctor, he seemed as if he was clear headed, calmer. Kathryn wasn't certain what was more frightening, when he was out of his mind, or when he was in control of it.

"Lean against the wall, with your hands behind you." The doctor did as he was told. "Now, sit on your hands. Don't! Try anything." He turned to the captain. "Join him!" The phaser was now point at her, she couldn't take anymore risks, she no longer had herself to think about, she had an innocent, helpless child.

"Alright. I don't want to fight with you, just stay calm."

"I am calm." She sat down beside Dr. Marran, mimicking his posture.

"What are you doing?" The Doctor questioned, he was sure that the younge man was getting better.

"I have something to show you."

Harry felt like he was ready to breakdown, he couldn't take it anymore, he just wanted to go home, to his quarters, to lie down on his bed, under his covers, close his eyes, and just forget that anything bad had happened. He could go back to being Ensign Eager, he hated that nickname, at this moment, he would do anything to go back to being that person once again. He would sell his soul to the devil if he had to.

With his left hand he swept away the long hair that covered the implant, the Doctor moved to the his left to get a better look.

"Oh my god!" The Doctor exclaimed, although he had no belief system, it seemed as though they were the only words that were suited for what his eyes were seeing.

"What is it?" Kathryn felt sick, now she had confirmation she made the wrong decision even before knowing what it was the Doctor was looking at.

"I don't know. It's.....some kind of implant." The Doctor didn't breath, but he felt breathless, if he could, he would cry, he had a strange sensation, a feeling inside of him, he had never felt before. He couldn't describe it, he had never felt this before. He pressed his fingers gingerly against the implant, he knew of no other species that could cause such a thing other then the borg.

"That son of a bitch put it in my head." Dr. Marran laughed, Harry kicked him in the face.

"I'm leaving." Harry grabbed the device on Dr. Marran's belt, and opened the door.

"Do you think he will let you go?" Dr. Marran called out as they were halfway out the door. He smirked when they stopped, despite being a psychologist, he loved to afflict emotional pain, especially on Harry.

"Years of hard work, failure after failure, our first success and you think he will just let you walk out the door." Harry was motionless, he could feel small tremors in his arm, the urge to loose control, it hurt like his blood was on fire, his muscles itched like he needed a drink, he put his hand against the door frame, he thought he was going to collapse onto the floor.

"I don't know who your talking about, but get one thing straight, no one is going to harm Harry. Tell your associate if he comes after Harry, it will be a mistake he'll quickly regret." The captain threatened.

"You don't know my associate captain, it will be a mistake you will regret, how many lives are you willing to risk for one person?"

"Every member of my crew is valuable, we don't leave our people behind."

Dr. Marran shook his head "You think I haven't noticed captain. Tsk, tsk." His eyes traveled downwards, and stopped at her stomach, she put a protective hand on her stomach, he was merely speculating, but her inherent response confirmed it.

"No captain, he's not worth it." He said in appeasing, soothing voice, it made her sick.

"What's he talking about?" Harry turned to him, he realized Dr. Marran was threatening her. "Are you threatening her?" His breathing still coming in sharply.

"I'm not threatening her, I swear, I would never threaten a pregnant woman." At that moment any resolve Harry may have had was lost, he moved towards Dr. Marran, only to be stopped by the Doctor.

"He's not worth it Mr. Kim, he's baiting you." He could feel Harry's breathing in between his arms, his pulsating heart beat, mostly, that strange feeling inside of him was back, he hated it, he didn't understand it, he must be malfunctioning. How was the Doctor suppose to help Harry, if he was malfunctioning? Possibly it would explain why he couldn't help him in the first place.

"Calm down, enger." He swore in his language, then spat on the ground. "I wouldn't threaten a pregnant woman, as I said. However, I think it woud be prudent to tell you he's no longer one of your people," A wide grin spread across his face "He's property." Harry stopped struggling, he had been called a lot of things by the old fucker, but he knew, the doctor was telling him something important, this wasn't just an insult.

"I'm nobody's property." Harry spat.

"Those implants in your head, in your arm, they are property of our group, legally speaking anything, or anyone attached to them is considered to beproperty as well!" He laughed, it felt good to finally speak those words, his heart beat face with excitement and exilleration. He never felt so alive as when he was afflicting emotional suffering, people rarely left his institution, and if they did, they never lasted long.

"Don't listen to him Harry." The Doctor encouraged.

"Don't listen to me Harry, leave, get strong, healthy, we'll need our little experiment to be as well as possible. I do, however, have some kindness. His name is Krennan, he'll never let your go."

"Let go of me." At first the Doctor hesitated, then he let go of Harry, who simply turned around and left.

B'Elanna walked into the sickbay, she had another argument with Tom, this time was about his lack of effort, his lack of care, the smell that started to seep through his quarters out to the corridors. There had been complaints, the captain requested B'Elanna talk to Tom, she didn't know what she would say, how she would phrase what she needed to say, how she really was feeling.

She had enough, in a short span of 7 months she lost both her best friends. Months ago she would walk into Harry's quarters and find him starring into nothing, or drinking himself into unconsciousness, then taken to an institution. Then it was Tom's turn, his breakdown was even more puzzling, she attributed his strange behaviour to Harry's breakdown, something inside of her told her it was so much more. She truely felt as if she failed them both.

She found the Doctor standing at a bio-bed, his back to her, she waited for him to acknowledge her. She cleared her throat, he didn't respond, she waited a moment, maybe it just would take one moment longer.

"Doctor...." Still no response, "Doctor......" She raised her voice slightly, she became aggitated, she had much better things to do, like distract herself from her failing relationship. She tapped him on his shoulder.

"Oh.....oh, Lt. Torres...I....I didn't hear you." He said, he seemed distracted.

"How could not?"

"Something is wrong with me." He said, it seemed so random, she had seen him yesterday, performing a full diagnosis of all his systems. Voyager was doing well with the repairs, one of the few things that wasn't effected as badly was the Doctor's program.

"There is nothing wrong with you. I did a full....." She began, in her matter of fact tone, hiding her fear of what maybe wrong with the Doctor.

"No, something, something is definitely wrong with me." He was at a loss, he didn't understand what he had felt earlier, a malfunction was the only way to explain it.

"Okay. Why don't you tell me why you think something is wrong with you, and we'll go from there." She gave him a strange look.

"I...." He trailed off, how could he discribe something he didn't even understand. "I don't know." She exhaled, she was becoming impatient.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what is wrong." She crossed her arms around her chest, the look on her face told the Doctor to start spilling or he may find he's missing something by tomorrow.

"Why.......why couldn't I heal Mr. Kim? I don't understand it."

"I don't know." She became empathetic to the Doctor, she realized he had a problem most likely she couldn't solve for him.

"I have the knowledge of 100's of doctors, I've developed new medications, brilliant surgical technics, I have healed countless injuries, diseases, genetic mal....."

"I get." She snapped.

"Why couldn't I help him, I have the tools, the knowledge, the technics, I just don't understand it. There must be a malfunction."

"No, there isn't. Just because you couldn't heal him, doesn't mean your malfunctioning."

"So, why did Dr. Marran develope a treatment?" She raised an eyebrow, the question wasn't absurd, but who he was asking, it made her think something really was wrong with his program.

"I'm an engineer, not a doctor."

"He's an awful doctor. The Hippocratic Oath....just right out the perverbal window. He's cruel!" The Doctor started to scream, he threw his medical tray onto the floor.

"Calm down Doctor." She could feel a knot in her stomach, her first instinct was to call for security, but something inside of her told her she had to handle this on her own. She had to help the Doctor.

"I need to be decompiled, deconstruct my program, get rid of all the useless programing. Start all over, I am not fit to be Harry's, or anyone else's doctor." He stood-up straight, silently waiting for B'Elanna to give the order to shutdown him program.

"What are you waiting for?" He asked irritated.

"Your not responsible."

"Of course I am. I'm him doctor, I should have......"

"It's not your fault." She reassured, she put her hand on his shoulder.

"Yes I am." He shouted.

"No, your not."

"I feel......I feel......something is wrong. I feel something.....I don't understand. I don't want to fail anyone else." The awful, strange, unknown feeling was back, he didn't understand it, he must be malfunctioning.

"I'm malfunctioning." He sounded so desperate, she put another hand on his other shoulder.

"No, your not. Your not the only one who failed. But, Harry is still alive.....right?" She tested, she got a pit in her stomach.

"He insisted on going to his quarters, I didn't even get to scan him. He knows......he knows I'm a failure."

"As long as he's still alive, you can still help him. Your not malfunctioning, it's part of being human. The really shity part of being human." She smirked, he cracked a small smile.

"The really, really shity part of being human." They both laughed.

"I never thought I would see the day you would be swearing."

"It seemed to fit."

"Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To Sandrines, I think you might want some company." He nodded his head, and transfered his program to Holoroom 2. He didn't play any games, or participate in any conversation, but the company of his fellow crewmates did lift his spirits slightly.

Tom laid on his couch, starring at the ceiling he imagined a young girl playing in a field. She had long wavy blonde hair, it bounced up and down as she skipped through the tall grass, it shimmered in the sunlight. She giggled as she ran to Tom, he smiled, her beautiful blue eyes glimmered in the sunlight.

He sat-up, this was the third time this week he found himself imaging a child. Kathryn's child.....his child. He noticed Kathryn was getting bigger, he casually inquired with the Doctor about her progress, which in turn the Doctor gave Tom an eyeroll, and a sarcastic remark about the captain lower her standards.

Tom tried to ignore him, but he couldn't help but take it to heart. It seemed like everything made him uneasy. He soon found himself wondering the halls, eventually making his way to the mess hall. He didn't know why, or how he got there, he must have been deep in thought.

He sat down, quickly becoming anxious again, he didn't know what to do with himself, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he definitley couldn't go and see B'elanna, even more so, he couldn't go and see Kathryn. The woman he truely wanted to see. Soon, he found himself wondering the halls again, he was like a lost dog unable to go home, he found himself in a perpetual wonder, he didn't know where he was going, when he would stop, an endless journey of endless cordedoors, thoughts, and what ifs.

Soon, he found himself standing in front of Kathryn's door, again he wasn't certain how he got here, it often seemed like he was no longer in control of his life. He was a mere observer as others made decisions for him, like being relieved of duty. Although he was some what at ease that he didn't have to get out of bed, make himself presentable to his fellow crewmates, or act like he wasn't two seconds away from a complete breakdown. Mostly he felt like a failure, the captain telling him he wasn't fit for duty, he imagined his father had taken her place, talking down at him, telling him once again he wasn't good enough.

"Tom.......are you just going to stare at me?" Kathryn said annoyed, it was nearly 0200 hours, and pregnancy was taking a lot of her.

"Sorry.....what?"

"It's almost 2 in the morning, why are you here?" She rubbed a hand over her face, she could hardly keep her eyes open.

"I wanted to talk to you." He let himself in, she let-out an exasperated breath, but she turned around and sat down anyways.

"You can't do this."

"What?"

"Order me out of my own child's life. Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Right now, I think I'm your captain."

"Don't pull rank on me. It's not fair." He yelled, pacing back and forth, he could feel the tears in his eyes, he turned his back, it was easier that way, he didn't have to show her the emotions he was drowning in, it embarrassed him, especially in front of her.

"You can't order me to not love this child." He turned around. "You can't just snap your fingers, and Chakotay is the father. This is my child, this baby is going to come out with my eyes, or my lips....or my piloting skills."

"I didn't know piloting skills were genetic." She crossed her arms around her chest.

"Whatever, the point is you can't just pull rank and it has brown eyes, or native features. It's foolish, and childish."

She stood-up, she didn't like being called foolish or childish, especially in the same sentence. The look she gave him, he knew he crossed a line, but he stood his ground. If she knew he was gaving in, even just a little, he may loose his chance to be a father.

"I don't like being called childish, or foolish." She seethed.

"I don't like being bullied into giving up my rights."

"Is that what you think I'm doing?" She was shocked by his actusations, she knew this was the right decision. His hair had become longer, unrully, he now had a three day old shadow, and by the smell he was giving off, he hadn't showered in a few days. How could she expose a baby to Tom's depression.

"That's exactly what your doing." He shot back.

"Have you looked int he mirror lately?" She kept her cool, the epitome of grace under pressure, she could have snapped at any moment, she couldn't afford it, the crew, she, had lost too much, and she would be damned if they would loose their captain as well.

They silently stood there, he watched her intently, he knew she was right, but she knew he was as well. Then she reached out for his hand and placed it on her stomach.

Tom moved his hand up and down her slightly enlarged belly, tears streamed down his face, she wipped them away.

"It's getting big." He felt the tears streaming down his face, it was strange to love someone so much without meeting them, at that moment he knew he would give anything for that child, he would die for that child.

"I'm never giving this baby up..." He paused the words caught in his throat, he thought of what he would tell B'ellanna, he couldn't give this baby up, but she would never except this situation. "What are we going to tell B'ellanna?" They stood there, the moment of euphoria now gone, neither one of them wanted to hurt her, keeping this silent any longer would do more harm then good.

I like to think this ended with somewhat of a happy note!! :) R&R!! greatly appreciated!!