Alright, chapter 7!!

Sorry this took so long, I wrote this a while back, I was hoping to get this done before I moved, but unfortunately I got stuck on something, then I moved. It has been a bit chaotic trying to get use to a new city.

Although I do have good news, baby!Janeway!Paris is born in this chap!! Yea!!

So, read, enjoy, review :)

Chapter 7--The long kiss goodbye.

Harry sat in his quarters, starring at a padd B'ellan gave to him earlier. The wording was in white, some in red, she told him the white was his writting, and red were her's. He pushed the button reading the content of the next page, it was mostly red. He put it down, there were several padd's on his table. The padd he had just read was a skematics for the warp core.

The other padds were letters, mostly from his parents, his uncle, cousin, a friend, and Libby. He picked-up his cup, orange juice and vodka, he guzzled it, slamming the cup down, he whipped his mouth. His hands shook a little, he tried to settle them.

He hadn't had a drink in weeks, although he had been back for 5 months now, admitting he was an alcoholic,it was a hard pill to swallow. He hit rock bottom when he made a mistake while on duty, a crewmember was injured, not seriously, but Harry was drunk, and he knew at that moment he had a problem.

Why was he drinking now? He didn't know, he just hated being without it, it was a part of him, an extention, a close personal friend, he wasn't complete without it. He couldn't be himself without just a little bit of alcohol in his system.

It was why B'elanna came by, she had suspected he was back on the sauce, she wanted to remind him of how far he had come. He picked-up the letter his parents sent him. The usual letter, how was he doing? There was at least 5 lines of inquiry of his wellbeing, they rarely spoke of their own lives, what was going on back on Earth, it seemed as if they had become obsessed with his condition. He felt suffocated by their overbearing concern.

He stood-up and replicated another orange juice and vodka, he drank from it and sat down. He wasn't drunk, not yet, he sure was working hard at it. He threw the padd at the table, and drank the rest. The door chimed, he paniced a little, quickly put the cup back into the replicator, pressing a few buttons the cup dissapeared. The door chimed again.

"I'll be right there." He called out as he walked into his room, he put a candy into his mouth, hoping it would be enough to mask the smell.

"Come in." Tom walked in, he had a tricorder and a small case, one in each hand.

"Hey." Tom greeted him, Harry merely smiled. "How's things going?"

"Fine." He took a beat "You?"

"I'm good. It's time for your medication."

"Now? I'm not due till 1200 hours."

"It is 1200 hours." He watched Harry for a moment. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." He sat back down onto the couch. "I just lost track of time, reading some letters, and um....some thing B'elanna gave me." Tom sat beside him.

"B'elanna gave you some thing?"

"I wrote this....while I was crazy."

"Harry."

"What....? You prefer psychotic?"

"I prefer to say you were sick, and you were."

That word, sick, was used often, Harry wasn't sure how he felt about that word. It was true, he was sick, however, it seemed as if the word was used too often, as if people were tiptoeing around the issue. As if saying the word crazy was taboo, as if it was dirty. He hated being here, everyone looked at him differentily, everyone treated him differentily. He told himself it would get better after he proved himself, proved to the crew he was better, he was the Harry of the old.

Truth be told, he wasn't that person anymore, too much had happened, too much had changed. He didn't know who he was, he often looked himself in the mirror and saw a perfect stranger starred back. Harry thought it would change once he got his uniform back on, he lied to himself, and said he was the same person, but the lie soon faded, and he knew, he wasn't the Harry of the old.

"Can you just give me my medication?" Tom nodded.

"I got some good news. This is your last dose, your medication free after this." Tom smiled, this was good news, Harry had been on medication for almost a year now, maybe things would go back to normal.

"That is good news." His lip twitched slightly, he was smiling, he quickly covered it up.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You smiled." Tom's smiled widened.

"No I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"No."

"Yes."

"Tom, grow-up." Tom chuckled.

"I wanted to ask you something?" He injected Harry with the hypospray. "I was wondering if you wanted to be the baby's godfather."

"Are you insane? No."

"Harry..."

"No. That poor baby almost died because of me."

"You didn't know."

"That's not an excuse, and neither is being sick"

"Harry, your my best friend."

"And as your best friend the answer is a resounding, and unequivocal No!"

"Alright. Man. Your a real bitch today." Tom quipped.

"Did you just call me a bitch?" Harry couldn't believe Tom called him a bitch. Why did he let him in?

"Yes, yes I did." Harry burst out laughing, Tom joined him.

"It wasn't that funny." Tom couldn't believe the response he was getting from Harry.

"It wasn't funny at all." Harry managed through his laughter. "I haven't laughed in a year." He said when he was done, whipping the tears away. "Oh my god....I haven't laughed in a year."

"That's because you've been a bitch the past year."

"Shut-up." Harry pushed Tom, then they both started to laugh again. It had been a while since they had a moment where they could just be guys, just be friends.

"I'm proud of you." Tom had wanted to say this to Harry for a while, he was happy he said it, he meant it.

"For what?"

"For getting out of this. It's been really, really hard for you....and um, I'm proud of you."

"Thank-you." He whispered, he didn't have the heart to tell Tom he had been drinking again. Truth be told, he wasn't ready to tell Tom. He wasn't ready to give-up the drink just yet.

Tom took a deep breath, it was an awkward moment.

"Tomorrow's your review, nervous?"

"No. I know exactly what I'm going to say, I think it's going to go well." He seemed so sure of himself, confident. That was another side of Harry that Tom hadn't seen in a while.

Kathryn sat in her chair in the conference room, Harry was the first to come to the meeting. Then Chakotay, the Doctor, and Tom. She had spent the better half of last night reading reports from various crewmembers as to why the young ensign shouldn't be re-instated, she was not surprised that a great deal of her crew didn't want Harry back just yet. Although, she was surprised that there was an even larger group that didn't want him back at all.

Her hand rested on top of her enlarged stomach, she wasn't due for another 2 ½ weeks. Chakotay had been insisting for weeks that she take her leave, but she just couldn't part just yet. There was too much to do, a laundry list of repairs, bartering with other alien races, and crew needs, both professionally, and personally.

She felt guilty, as if she was abandoning her crew, as if she was letting them down again. She let out a shout, the four gentlemen in the room stood-up, she waved them aside.

"Just a kick." She rubbed her stomach again, soothing her baby "A really hard kick to the kidney." She managed a weak smile.

"Doctor, do you want to start?" She adjusted herself in her seat.

"Actually, I want to start." Harry interrupted. She nodded her head. "I...I've decided not to come back to my duties."

"What? Harry..." Tom started.

"Tom." He waited until his friend leaned back into his chair, then continued.

"I had a psychotic break, and it's not my fault, and some of my actions were not my fault. Dispite that, I have taken full responsibility for my actions. All of them."

"We know you do." Kathryn reassured.

"I'm not sure about that. In fact, I think most of the crew thinks I'm trying to milk this. Like I think I deserve special treatment when I don't. Worse of all my mental health issues, all of them, every soride detail, everyone knows, everyone talks about it like it happened yesterday. I'm so tired of the way people look at me, the way they treat me."

"It's going to take time, and you have to earn that trust. You haven't done much to earn the crew's trust." Chakotay said, No one was surprised by his unforgiving tone, he was one of the most vocal of the Anti-Kim brigade; as Harry had dubbed them.

"Well, from an asshole like you, I'm not surprise to hear that." Harry snapped back, Tom snickered under his breath.

"Harry." She snapped, another really sharp kick, her back was really hurting her today.

"I'm sorry. I just....this is exactly what I am talking about. Chakotay says I haven't been trying, but I have, and it's hard. Not only did I have to deal with mental illness, but I have to deal with being an addict, I have deal with the starres, the whispers, the hushed conversations. I lost my posting, and worst of all people treat me like I'm a first year cadet with no technical knowledge."

"We just want to make sure things go smoothly, wouldn't want any more accidents." Chakotay shot back, he was literally bitting his tongue.

"How many times do I have to apologize? How long until people treat me like an officer, like a friend? Truthfully, it's never going to get better, it will never go back to the way it was before."

"Then what is your suggestion?" Kathryn gentley probbed, she shifted again.

Harry took a moment, he had been thinking about that question, and his response, for a while. He knew his decision was the best one.

"I'm going to leave." He advoided looking at Tom, already knowing his reaction. He simply stood-up, turning towards the view screen, he pressed a few buttons.

"There's a space station here." He pointed towards a blip on a space chart. "It's got a shipyard there, lots of work, the type of work I'd be good at." The room was surprisingly quiet, he expected an array of nay sayers, and yet they merely just sat there.

"I'm going to take Dean's ship.....it's, um, still in dock, I know you can't spare any shuttles." He spoke softly, although he knew this was the best decision, he really thought there would be more opposition, maybe they will be more then happy to be rid of him.

"You still have those implants, Dr. Marran and his associate is still after you." The Doctor said, he was unable to remove them, they had an elaborate back-up system that would deliver a poison the moment they were removed.

"I can take care of myself. Besides, there might be a doctor out there who might be able to take them out."

"What will we tell your parents?" She was saden by this news, although not entirely surprised.

"Don't worry about them, I'm going to send them a letter." There were no other voices, not even Chakotay.

"Besides, I will be back."

Harry simply left the conference room, and went back to his quarters, his bags already packed. He wasted no time leaving, he packed light, a few pieces of clothing, toiletries, pictures, a trinked or two, he left the rest behind.

Leaving a sense that he would be back, he would be good as new. However, he knew he wasn't coming back.....he wanted to say home, it wasn't home. Earth wasn't even home to him anymore, he didn't know where it was, or how he would get there, but eventually he would find somewhere to call home, people to call friend.

"Your not coming back." Tom's voice broke his reverence.

"What?" Harry turned, still a little lost in thought.

"I said your not coming back."

"Why would you say that?" Tom was leaning against the frame of the door, his arms crossed, he starred at Harry, he didn't want to forget his best friend, he didn't want to let him go, but he knew he had to.

"I can't say I'm surprised." He continued, ignoring the question. Harry felt a knot in his stomach, in many ways he didn't want to leave, he mulled over the idea of staying, but deep down he knew he couldn't stay.

"I expect it." Tom waited for a response from Harry, he could tell the young man felt guilty about not telling him.

"Don't..." This was it, the last few moments before Harry would leave, and it was for good this time.

They would no longer have adventures, Harry would no longer be Tom's sidekick, his partner in crime. Tom allowed himself to cry, he didn't want to leave anything unsaid.

"Don't feel guilty, I wan t you to go."

"What?" Tom was his best friend, his last defender. He must have really screwed things up.

"I want you to go and figure out...whatever it is you need to figure out. Take care of yourself, and if you ever want to come home."

Harry stood-up and hugged Tom.

"I'll be back." He whispered.

"Your a terrible liar." They both laughed.

"But your always welcome to."

They sat there for an hour in Dean's ship, it was a lot harder to say goodbye then either of them thought it would be.

Eventually Harry set a course, they made a pact that if Harry was in troucble, or needed a place to stay, he would come back to Voyager.

"No questions asked?" He asked humourisly with a wide grin.

"Well, I can't speak for Chakotay, he may want a detailed report. No spelling mistakes."

Tom watched as the ship left Voyager, and set off to the space station Harry had mentioned. Tom wasn't sure if that was where Harry was going, anything could happen, he just hoped he would see his friend again, alive and well.

3 week later Kathryn impatiently paced the infirmary. She was tired, her hands and feet were swollen, and her nerves were getting the best of her. She wanted this baby out of her, it was already a week and a half late. She rolled her eyes, and shook her head, just like it's father, not one for punctuality.

"Please state...."

"I want this thing out of me, now!" She demanded.

"The baby will be born when it's ready." The Doctor said, his patience was also waning, she came everyday for the last week.

"I'm sorry, I think we've missunderstood each other. That was an order."

"If I'm not mistaken, your on maternity leave, you can't give me orders."

"Then I'm back on duty, induce me now!"

"If the child isn't born in another week, I will, it is normal for a baby to be born a week or two late."

"Normal? My hands and feet are swollen like a blow fish, my back hurts, and the baby been keeping me up all night for the last month. I just want to get some sleep." She put a hand over her face, she was starting to feel the stress of being in her quarters all the time.

"You think it's bad now, wait until it's born, then it will really keep you up." The Doctor remarked.

"I waddle."

"Excuse me?" The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"I don't walk, my belly is so large I don't walk, I waddle."

"Well, I have to say, I'm speachless." The Doctor could see she was becoming stressed, knowing it was bad for the her and the baby, he nodded his head.

"If that is what you want, I can induce you."

She let out a sigh of relief, and waddled over to the bio-bed, and lied down. She went back to her quarters, to try and relax, she put her hand over her stomach and sang it a lullabye her mother use to sing to her. Baby's bed's a silver moon. She lied down, and closed her eyes, soon her baby would be in her arms, soon she would know if it was a boy or a girl, soon it would have a name, and soon the crib would no longer be empty.

This soothed her, she could feel some of the stress lifting. An hour later she was up, and cleaning her quarters, the Doctor told her it was normal, something called nesting, she thought he was insane, but here she was cleaning every nook and crany of her quarters. She set some books on a dresser she aquired from a merchant.

Tom replicated some toys, one of them was a stuffed version of the Delta Flyer. She grinned as her first contraction came. She knew it was a contraction, she had three false labours. Breathing through the pain, moments later she continued with the preparations for her baby.

10 hours later she was in the infirmary, pushing that very late, and stubborn, baby out. Maybe she should have had a baby with Chakotay, at least the traits it would have gotten from his father wouldn't have been poor punctuality, and stubborness. She most likely wouldn't have even felt a thing.

She let out a scream with the last push, she could hear a cry, a small, screaming, slimmy, pink baby lied at the other end. The Doctor whipped the baby clean, she heard him say something about cutting the umbilical cord.

She was so memorized by this small,screaming, slimmy, pink creature she didn't hear anything anyone said to her. It was love at first sight, she cried, she wanted to meet this person for so long, and now, she held it in her arms.

"He's beautiful." Tom said.

"He's perfect." Kathryn said, the only thing she could say, there were no other words to discribe him, he was everything she imagined, he was her son.

An hour later he had a bath, a diaper on, and some clothing she brought with her. The Doctor informed them he was a healthy 5.44kg (12 lbs) the baby cried when the Doctor told them he wasn't the biggest human baby to be born.

"So, what are we going to call him?" Tom had been pushing for Tom junior, which she flat out rejected without even thinking about it.

"Not Tom junior." He lowered his head in defeat, he wasn't going to win that one.

"I was thinking William." She said, he had his hand wrapped around her pinky. She smiled, yes, she was indeed in love.