Loveee my reviewers.

Yeah I know, 22 chaps and no kiss. Im evil.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I own trips.

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Things had definitely changed between Edward and I.

I had no idea if for the better or the worse yet, but they were different.

For instance, our hook-ups had become less frequent. And when they did happen, there was no teasing or playing. Just straight up, make me cum.

So that was worse.

But our conversations were better now. More in depth, more stimulating, less coated with sexual tension.

So that was better.

And I loved him.

That was-…I have no idea.

At least it hadn't been a crazy ass epiphany that just hit me while I was in the middle of the store or something. It built slowly. It crept up on me, sneakily. It had been growing and growing, and somewhere between our late night conversations, cooking together and our little adventures together, I was in love.

He was patient and kind and not perfect. And he didn't pretend to be. He wasn't like any man I had met before. And he worked to prove that to me.

Three days since Jake came to the house. Three days of me moping, Edward trying to cheer me up, before Alice told me that we were going shopping, and to stop being a little bitch.

Which made me mope more.

She insisted on a new outfit for the opening, which was in- fuck me. Four days.

I was both nervous and excited, but more excited, especially since it finally felt complete with my painting which I titled 'Green Eyed Reflection'.

It was perfect.

Except for the shopping.

Alice told me my wardrobe needed a makeover, plus Rose was going to start shopping for maternity clothes.

I thought it was a bit early for that, but Alice just rolled her eyes and said, 'Do you know Rosalie?"

So shopping it was.

We were going tomorrow, and there were to be no arguments.

***

Tonight was spaghetti night, and I had made garlic bread to go with it. The table let me know how much they fucking loved it, moaning like we were having an orgy instead of bread and pasta.

The whole gang was together for once, plus Jasper.

Alice had the day off tomorrow for our shopping trip, and Jasper kept shooting me 'good luck' glances.

I sat by Edward at the kitchen table, reminiscing on how fun it had been to cook with him. It was just… hilarious.

He was so cute when he was confused, and he got a lot of that when I asked him for a tool, or an ingredient. Poor boy was so lost.

But the meal had turned out good, and the conversation was flowing and amicable.

"So then Alice, who had been bending over in front of the poor man the whole time, in a short skirt, no panties, turns around and says ' You're gay anyway, aren't you?"

Jasper let out the punch line of his story about a certain incident at their favorite restaurant the other night, I laughed along with them, but I wasn't all there.

I was, of course, pondering my situation. Which seemed to happen a lot these days.

The night in the shower. That was my plan to just, do it. I was going to go for it and just kiss him. I didn't understand why it was such a big deal! It shouldn't be. It wasn't.

So why couldn't I do it myself?

I was scared.

Of rejection.

Like every other person on the planet.

Fuck.

Stop being a pussy Bella.

"Bella? Bella? Hellooooo??" Alice was waving her hand in front of my face, and I snapped back to reality.

"Mm?"

Alice's eyebrows came together.

"You looked a little lost there.."

I smiled passively. "Yeah, I just…zoned out for a minute there. What happened?"

"I was wondering what time you wanted to go shopping tomorrow."

I grimaced. "Does it matter what I say?"

"No, not at all. I've already decided. We're going at eight. Just being polite."

She smiled condescendingly at me and I scoffed.

"Eight in the fucking morning?"

"Gotta start early!" She chirped, beginning to clear empty dishes with Jasper.

Emmett's cell phone rang, he checked the screen, grinned and walked into the living room to take his call.

I sat at the table, looking at Rose and Edward.

"So…Any cravings yet Rose?"

She smiled. "Chocolate. But that's normal."

I laughed, then lowered my voice, so as not to offend Emmett, with his supersonic bat ears.

"Are you sure it's a girl?"

Rose rolled her blue eyes. "He's positive but I'm going to laugh when it comes out with a dick."

Edward shook his head. "Such beautiful language for the expecting mother."

Rose stood up. "When has my language ever been beautiful Edward?"

She left the room, Edward and I sat looking at each other.

"Do you-"

"Will you-"

We began at the same time, laughing and telling the other to go first. I had been hoping to ask him for this for weeks.

I gave in. "Will you play for me?" I said softly. Edward hadn't played the piano for me in almost a month.

He nodded, looking slightly perplexed at the same time.

"Of course." Holding out his hand, he led me past Emmett who was whispering furiously into his cellphone, and up the stairs.

We sat on his piano bench in his room, and things felt a little awkward. I looked around, memorizing details I had never noticed before. His golden bedspread, the black walls, his CD collection that made me drool.

"Bella?"

I looked up at him. "Edward."

I don't know why we were whispering. But this felt like a moment that needed to be quiet, not punctuated with exclamations and loud laughter.

He spoke softly, and his voice made me shiver. It was beautiful, and I wondered what it would sound like if he were singing. To me.

"What do you want me to play?"

"Anything."

He began a soft, mourning melody, it was slow, and the darkness of it was punctuated by light, shimmering notes. It flowed smoothly into a suave tinkling. I could clearly identify every emotion in the melody. It was so complex all I could do was watch his long fingers work swiftly over the keys, until my eyes blurred.

His song came to an end, and he turned to me.

It took him about a second to notice I was crying.

He wiped a tear from my cheek with feather soft tenderness.

"Beautiful." I managed to choke out.

"It's yours." He told me.

***

We found ourselves In the kitchen at three in the morning, digging through an ice cream carton.

"Edward you finished the chocolate!"

"Ou nt eet eet!" He spoke through a full mouth.

"What?!"

He swallowed. "You don't need it."

I smacked him. "There better be more in that freezer!"

There was Neapolitan.

I picked at the chocolate.

Edward frowned. "You're one of those people aren't you?"

I smiled. "The ones who pick at the best flavor? Yeah, I am."

"I learn something new about you every day."

I smiled into the carton.

"That you do."

We sat in silence while I picked at the chocolate.

"You've been really distracted lately."

"Have I?" My heart started to race and I didn't know why. Yes I did.

"Yeah."

"Just…uh, just nervous for the opening."

He nodded, but I could see in his eyes he didn't believe me.

I faked a yawn, hoping to be able to run off to bed. The tense atmosphere was too much.

He knew.

My god, he knew.

It was too soon, unprecedented, he thought I was in love with him

He knew I was in love with him.

And he didn't feel the same way. I didn't know if that was for the best or the worst.

"I'm going to go to bed. Shopping torture tomorrow." I chuckled nervously, and it sounded dry and forced, even to me. I turned to walk away, feeling his eyes on my back.

I was almost out of there. Almost out of there.

"Bella?"

My breath caught. "Yeah?"

"Whatever it is you're worried about? I'm sure it's without cause."

I left the kitchen quickly, making my way downstairs.

*&*

In the kitchen, Edward whispered into the dark.

"I love you Bella Swan."

*&*

Six fifty two in the morning.

I awoke to the shrilling of Alice in my ear.

"Isabella! Get your ass up! We're going to be late!"

"I wasn't aware we had an appointment." I mumbled into my pillow grumpily.

"Bella, I'm this close to stripping you out of those fabulous panties of yours and dragging you into the shower."

I jumped up.

"Whore." I muttered as I walked to the shower.

A hot shower was the perfect place to just relax, and try not to panic. Edward knew. I was almost sure.

The way he looked at me sometimes… it gave me proof.

God, how I hoped there was even a chance in hell he might love me too.

And even if he did love me? What if he… I didn't even want to think it.

What was stopping him from pulling a Jake on me?

The thought felt wrong in my head. Totally, utterly wrong. It didn't belong there.

And that's how you know, Bella. Nothings stopping him, but himself.

***

"Alice, pass me one more fucking shirt that shows my fucking tits up to my nipples and I'll rip off your acrylics, I swear I will."

I could practically feel her roll her eyes through the dressing room door.

"We're moving onto dresses next, Bella, I promise. You need something for Saturday night!"

I gulped. Saturday night. My opening.

No worries, Bella. None.

We quickly exited the dressing rooms while Rose ambled over with a flowy pink shirt in her hands.

Her cheeks were flushed pink, her voice breathless. "I can't wait until I can fit into this."

Alice laughed. "It's not every woman you meet that can't wait until there a size XXL."

Alice quickly paid, throwing a silky black top in. She winked at me. "For you and Edward."

I blushed as I tried to scowl.

"Okay!" Alice said as she darted into Nordstrom.

"Perhaps we'll find something acceptable here. "Then we can head to Vicky's Bella." She winked.

Rose busied herself looking at a gauzy light green dress. Pregnancy suited her. She wasn't high strung or angry or pissy anymore. She had kind of a maddening sense of calm and cool all the time now which she attributed to 'having a new sense of purpose.'

"You know Rose, I like the maternity look you're going for here. Is it like a 'Free Wind' thing?"

"I was actually thinking picnic in July in a field of flowers.'"

Alice nodded in agreement. "It'll work for you. Happy preggo mama goes all hippie."

Rose smiled.

We walked along, Alice picking up various dresses that she said would 'accompany my skin tone', which was a winter apparently. Whatever the fuck that was.

"So," Rose said while she examined a peach colored pair of yoga pants. "You love Edward."

Blunt cunt.

They both looked up at me under their eyelashes like they had just asked me if I liked green tea.

I looked around, mock confused. Avoid, Bella, AVOID!

"Oh look," I said, running toward a rack of clothes. "Tunics!"

Perfect diversionary tactic Bella. Perfect.

Alice and Rose followed, undeterred, while I tried to hide my panic.

How the fuck did they know?

"You're so obvious, Bella. You guys spend all your time locked in your bedroom, doing Alice-knows-what, you giggle like schoolgirls, he's playing you music on his piano- which he never does for anyone unless he's performing-"

"He doesn't?"

"No. And you're in love with him. And he loves you. Now stop being stupid. DO something about it." Alice nonchalantly checked the price on some turquoise earrings.

Rosalie nodded slowly, eyes wide, while she looked at me.

"I- I-" I stammered. They were so…observant. It pissed me off. Not even I was sure yet, and here they were telling it to me like they were fucking psychics.

"You do, Bella. Admit it."

I gaped at her, shocked by her boldness.

Alice thrust a pile of clothes into my arms.

"First try these on. We'll discuss this over lunch."

***

I sat at the table across from Alice and Rosalie, untouched plates of sushi between us.

They were staring at me, and I felt like I was being interrogated.

I sighed heavily and poked a California roll.

"Okay Bella. We'll do this the hard way, or the easy way." Rosalie narrowed her eyes at me.

"I feel like this a good cop-bad cop type of scheme."

Alice grinned at me. "No, no, sweet Bell. This is a bad cop bad cop situation."

More silence.

"I…I don't know what to say."

Alice pinched a crab roll between her forefinger candy red acrylic, and her thumb. She briefly examined it, before flinging it at me. It hit me on the nose. She always did have impeccable aim.

I stared at her in shock.

"Let's start here Bella. When did this happen? I knew you were getting along and all, but Jesus! That was fast!"

"I don't know when It happened. I just…figured it out."

"This was recent?" Rose joined in now.

"Like…yesterday recent."

They looked at each other and nodded, like they understood.

"Sudden isn't it?" Alice asked while she mixed wasabi and soy sauce.

"Not really. I think…" I looked them square in the eye. "I've known for a while. But I refused to-"

"To acknowledge it because of Jacob?"

I just looked away. They knew me too well. They could figure my mind out when I had no hope of even traipsing through the treacherous depths.

And then I realized. It was now or never. They didn't know yet.

"Jacob came to see me."

Their jaws dropped in perfect tandem and it would've been quite comical if I didn't know what was coming.

Alice picked up another crab roll and flung it at me.

"Are you high?"

I just stared.

"You decided not to tell us this why?!" Rosalie's hormones were kicking in.

"Because. It happened four days ago."

"Bella that's like 17 months in girl years!"

I sighed for the hundreth time.

"I know."

I began to recount my tale of Jacob.

By the end of it, Rosalie's eyes were watering, though I didn't know if it was because of the story, or the hormones and wasabi. But Alice was looking at me with a glint in her eye.

"I knew that mouth of yours would come in handy some day."

I weakly mumbled. "That's what she said."

Alice got up and hugged me.

"Oh, Bella. Well, look at it this way. When he punches your cheating ex-boyfriend, it's love."

I laughed weakly.

"Yeah. I have some figuring out to do."

Rose leaned back in her seat, hand son her full belly, looking at it as if she was willing it to grow.

"Sounds like you have a pretty figured out to me. You kicked Jake's ass to the curb, and Edward was your shoulder to cry on. That's like… Bella minus Jacob plus Edward equals love."

Trust Rose to put it into math and simplify it.

Alice looked at Rose.

"She's scared he'll be her rebound."

I sat up straight, surprised by the strength of the emotion in me, anger. "Edward would never, ever be just a rebound. He's more than that. He's everything." the words fell out of my mouth, and I couldn't do anything but sit there and stare. It was out now.

Alice cocked an eyebrow.

"There's your answer. Bella. You're scared because of Jake, but you just answered your own fears. He's everything."

I looked into my lap.

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?" I said it quietly, half hoping to he heard, half hoping it wouldn't be.

Alice scoffed so harshly I thought she was choking.

"Are you serious? God, your whole 'insecure little girl' shit pisses me off. Obviously you haven't been looking at the way he looks at you." Rose was looking at me in mild boredom.

Alice leaned over the table and placed her hand over mine..

"You have nothing to lose, Bella. But Edward does. I'll cut off his dick if he hurts you."

"And that's no joke," Rose finished, sipping her drink.

I sat and pondered, realizing that inadvertently, I had just gotten my shit figured out. Well, they had gotten my shit figured out. It was new, and it was scary, but I loved Edward. I wanted to find out everything I could about him. I wanted to cook with him while he bumbled around the kitchen. I wanted to talk to him until four in the morning on my window seat. I wanted firsts together. I wanted to kiss him.

No need to rush, I told myself. Savor the revelation.

New love is always the best. Before shit goes wrong.

I quickly slit pessimistic Bella's throat. Not now.

Alice gave me a pointed look.

"Fuck this dramatic, depressed shit. We're women in love! Let's go out and get smashed!"

Rose looked at her belly. "Minus 2, Alice."

Alice laughed. "Minus 2, Rose."

"Alice what're you plotting?"

"We're going to 'Blue' my women."

I grinned. Finally.

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Woo!

Yeuh, go bella, go bella!

Love you all:

Leave me a review and one of your most embarrassing moments. I'm going to need some ideas for my poor Bella next chapter.

Mwahaha

May the best humiliation win.

;)

-g