A/N: I updated this chapter slower than I thought I would. Sorry about that. X3

But just to make up for that, this is the longest chapter so far! :D

Love me~

lol

I'm probably not going to be able to get another update this weekend, but I'll try my best to get it updated by next weekend. Enjoy everyone~

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

Rain tapped on the windows of the Common Room. It was as if the rain was asking for permission to enter. The wind gazed the side of the building as the rain began to fall from the cloudy sky. As dreary as it was becoming outside, some of the orphans desired to run about and get soaked. Against the rules of the orphanage, a small group of children had sneaked out of the building to leap about in mud puddles.

Within the unwelcoming silence, Near sat in the Common Room as he usually did on Saturdays. He had no desire to sneak out into the rain. He didn't want to get soaked, nor did he want to go against the school rules. It was unnecessary. Within the Common Room, a dark feeling latched itself onto the heavy air. The thickness of the air wasn't suffocating Near, but it made him uncomfortable.

Near frowned as he felt his movements grow slower and more questioning than usual. His vision became distorted. A bit of confusion flowed through Near as he found himself not unable to figure out where the puzzle pieces went, but questioning why those pieces went there.

Questioning....That was new.

Each question seemed to lead to another question. Why did that puzzle piece fit with the other? The reason was because of the shape of the two puzzle pieces. Then why were they shaped that way? Why were they built in that way? Why were they made with cardboard and not of metal or wood? Did the material have some kind of symbolic meaning? Did the puzzle itself have some underlying meaning behind it? Near shook his head, confused by his own thinking.

Why question something that didn't need to be questioned. Nothing really needed to be questioned on an emotional level in Near's opinion. Near was use to everything being thought rationally. His logical mind would tell him that a puzzle was used as a form of entertainment and nothing more. Yet, why did his movements feel so illogical?

Near clicked another puzzle piece together. After withdrawing his pale hand, his gray eyes roamed over the puzzle as if he never saw it before. His eyes examined every edge, every corner, every groove, and every detail. His gaze fell to his hands, roaming over the details of his fingers. He lifted one of his hands and began to twirl his white locks with one of his fingers as he began to think. Inwardly, Near shook his head in disagreement with himself. He returned to clicking the puzzle pieces back in their rightful places. He went back to the logical side of his mind, disliking the other, foreign part that had rose up for a moment.

Near continued to twirl his winter locks with his finger, finding comfort in it. The albino could hear footsteps echoing through the hallway and entering the Common Room. The echoing of footsteps grew closer and closer, but Near didn't think much about it. He knew it was the group of boys that had sneaked outside into the rain. Near could hear the boys' wet, muddy shoes as they splattered against the tile floor of the orphanage. For a moment, Near wondered if the boys would clean the mud up before Roger or another teacher caught them. Near, however, didn't really start to pay attention to them until his name was said.

"Dave," one of the boys quickly pressed in a high pitched voice, "Someone could hear you! You know Near is just in the Common Room. It echoes in here."

The orphan named Dave only snorted. "Quit being so jumpy, Craig. It's just Near. That kid isn't going to say anything even if he did hear us. He won't tell Roger."

Another voice entered the conversation. "Are you sure? He is number—."

"Number one." Dave finished plainly. "Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. That doesn't mean anything. So what that he's number one? I could be number one, Tony."

"Then why aren't you number one?" Tony teased. Near heard Craig laughing.

"Hey! I'm just waiting for the right moment to take the position! It could be these next tests coming up!" Tony fumed, his pride hurt. "You wait and see!"

As the three orphans passed by the Common Room, Near peeked over at them without moving his head. Tony had turned his head to peer directly inside the Common Room. The adolescent's eyes glared into Near's even, gray eyes. Hate easily shined in those eyes. Although this scornful gaze didn't even compare to Mello's malice, it made a chill crawl up Near's spine.

The glare seemed to last for an hour's time, even though only a few seconds pasted when the three boys walked by. When the glare disappeared, the chill remained. Near rolled his shoulders, wanting the uneasy feeling to vanish. Why does that bother me so much?

It wasn't unusual for Near to receive sneers of disgust, an uneasy smile or chuckle, an awkward wave, or some sort of gesture. Near usually received gestures instead of a simple hi or greeting. Most of the children besides Linda, Mello, and occasionally Matt, never spoke a word to Near throughout the day. They all tried their best to avoid the gray-eyed teen if possible.

So why now? Why did a simple glare bother Near the way it did? He should be use to it by now, especially thanks to Mello. Is it because it wasn't Mello? Was it because it was a random student at the orphanage? Was it because it was someone Near wasn't familiar with?....Or was it because Near was recognized as different?

'It is the different ones that always get shoved over the edge.'

Near wrapped his arms around his chest. His fingers curled around his sleeved arm tightly. His fingers tugged at the white material thoughtlessly. A cold wave washed over the teen. Why does that suddenly affect him now? Why didn't it affect him years ago? It's because I'm just now noticing.... Near told himself knowingly. A sad expression crossed over his face before he thought: It's because I'm now starting to care....

The fact that Near tried to avoid so may times over again began to slink to the front of his mind. The fact that Near didn't want to admit cruelly whispered in his ears. It was like a haunting, childhood memory that wouldn't rest. The truth of reality playing itself over like a broken record.

The fact that Near was human made Near feel something he hadn't felt in awhile. Fear. Near knew he held emotions and feelings as every other living being did. Although he found it easier to avoid these foreign feelings, they still existed. As much as Near tried to hide them or push them away, they would always be there.

Did Near use to care about different subjects as what others thought about him? Perhaps not. Did he care about it now? He wasn't sure.

Staring down at his unfinished puzzle, Near's mind blurred. Everything familiar disappeared. The familiar puzzle pieces became strange, oddly shaped figures. Near reached down and brushed his fingertips over one of the non congruent pieces. After only a moment of feeling the uneven piece, Near paused. His gray eyes roamed over his fingers. This out of body feeling made Near's insides crawl. He could not recall a time when he felt this way. Everything felt foreign and strange.

Near shook his head, trying to relieve himself of the new stresses coming upon him. I'm not in the mood for puzzles. He decided as he began to pack up the puzzle pieces. Hurriedly, he tried his best to not damage the pieces, but Near worried more about his sanity than the puzzle.

After wrapping it up, Near walked across the Common Room to the shelves on the side of the room, opposite from the large piano that rested within the room. Near gently placed the box in its usual space on the shelf. He took a few steps back, possibly too quickly since his nearly lost his balance. Near silently reminded himself that he was wearing socks, and that he currently stood on a tiled floor.

While walking out of the Common Room, Near concentrated on each step he took. It wasn't that Near tried to remain balanced. That was part of it, but it was not the main reason Near concentrated on his strides. Mostly, Near wanted to get his mind off of the previous subject and onto something else.

He watched as his white socked feet slipped over the wooden floor of the orphanage's hallways. Near's attention remained down, his head tilted slightly to where his white curls fell into his face and over his eyes. He did not look up, nor did he plan to. He didn't care where he was going. I just...need to take a walk.

After several minutes pasted, Near dared peer about his surroundings. He found himself within one of the hallways in the school wing of the orphanage. As unusual as it was to be within the school wing of the building on a Saturday, Near could hear voices chattering. He couldn't recognize who they belonged to, or what they were saying. Curiously, he continued to move through the hallway, becoming closer to where the voices were coming from.

"I don't understand why we're here," One snobby, feminine voice spoke. Near continued to listen. "I mean, I like L and all, but everyone here is just so stuck up about tests and their scores, don't you girls think so?"

Two other feminine voices agreed in unison. One feminine voice awkwardly agreed. Near recognized that voice. He peered inside one of the classroom door windows.

It was the art room. Three girls crowded around an art table. One of the girls sat uneasily in one of the chairs, trying to shield her artwork from the other three. That girl with the trademark ponytails and butterfly clips was Linda.

The tallest girl in the bunch placed her hands on her waist. Her long, red hair fell to the middle of her back. An excessive amount of makeup cluttered her face. Her copper-colored eyes narrowed slightly towards Linda. The girl wrinkled up her nose for a moment before smirking. She leaned forward, and placed a hand on the table.

"I mean, the top three people are like the worst guys I know. Matt's a complete lazy slob. Mello's so rude. Near—."

She paused, deepening her smirk. "And Near thinks he's better than like all of us. He thinks that being antisocial can prove that he's just that much better than all of us." She gazed about the other girls before asking, "Isn't that right?"

Near shifted his weight. What the girl said struck Near the wrong way. He didn't really believe that he was better than all of them. He was intelligent, yes, but intelligence wasn't one thing that said who was better than who. It was similar to comparing runners. The fastest one wasn't always considered the best. There was also the most endurable, the well-paced, the most hardworking, and others. They each held a talent that was seen as useful and great. There wasn't a best among them. That's how Near thought of it anyway, and he most certainly didn't think of himself as better than any orphan at the orphanage because of his intelligence and scores. Others didn't quite think the same way, however.

"Right, Sydney!"

"I totally agree with you."

There was a moment of silence that seemed to stretch out longer. Near felt his heart beating heavily in his chest as all three of the girls stared intensely at Linda, who only peeked up at them. Near wasn't sure why he felt on the edge at that moment. Why was he eavesdropping on them anyway? Near shook his head and moved away from the door. He turned, ready to continue walking on his way.

"Right. Right....Near thinks he's better than all of us."

His heart skipped a beat. He froze. Rigidly, he turned his head back around, his gray eyes peering into the art room. Sure enough, Linda spoke those words. She agreed with Sydney. Linda, the person who always showed Near compassion and kindness, agreed with Sydney, the girl who hated everyone, especially Matt, Mello, and Near.

Why should I care? He tried to defend his hurt self. Why would I care about if someone or anyone likes or dislikes me? I don't care.... Near felt something twist inside of him. Whatever it was, Near wanted it to stop. The twisting became unnerving and painful.

Slower this time, Near turned away from them room. He dragged his feet across the hallway floor as he stumbled limply down the wide hallway. He could have sworn he heard a door open and his name being called, but he ignored it and turned the corner, beginning to walk down another hallway of the large orphanage while thinking: I do care....

*~*~*~*~*

With a freshly unwrapped, chocolate bar in hand, Mello existed the room he shared with Matt. He paused in the hallway outside his door for a moment, debating whether he should venture out or not. He brought the chocolate bar up to his mouth and chomped off a large sized piece hungrily. Savoring the rich, chocolaty taste of the candy, Mello began to walk down the hall.

Some of the orphans' doors were open; some of them were reading, some friendly chatting, some watching television, or doing other activities. Mello came to the end of the hallway. He stood at the top of the large staircase that wrapped its way down to the lower level of Wammy's Orphanage. The golden color of the stair's railing cast a dark glow. Since the main lights that came off from the chandelier were on, the white of the stairs appeared white instead of gray.

Casually, Mello descended down the wrapping staircase and stepped onto the white marble floor. On this Saturday afternoon, Mello didn't have anything in particular that he needed to do. His homework and studies had been finished yesterday, leaving the rest of the weekend open for anything he so chose to do.

Matt, like he usually did on the weekends, was up within their room playing video games nonstop. The current rumors said that Roger was going to take some people to go to the city's center for a special treat. Mello was sure Matt was eagerly waiting for that, hoping that he'd be able to choose a new video game.

Mello wasn't quite sure how his best friend was able to sit in front of a television or hand-held game screen for hours at a time without blinking or getting cramps from sitting so long. Mello admitted that he liked video games, but not nearly to the extent as Matt. Mello usually preferred soccer or kickball over video games; he preferred to be outside.

Although Mello wasn't sure where he should go that afternoon, he took extra special care to avoid going past Roger's office. The caretaker would surely find some reason to give Mello a punishment as soon as he saw the blond teen. He's out to get me, I swear it.

Walking down one of the hallways, he paused in the Common Room's entrance. After taking another bite of chocolate, he frowned. Mello turned to gaze directly inside the large, open room. The doors were widely opened as they usually were throughout most of the day. Everything inside, such as the piano and shelves, were still in their usual spots, yet there was something different about the room that afternoon.

It was empty.

Where did Near run off to? Mello wondered. The gray-eyed teen usually sat in the middle of the Common Room during the afternoon to work on his puzzles. Mello knew Near wouldn't head outside of the orphanage without a reason to, so the possibilities of him being outdoors were slim, especially since it was pouring outside. Mello doubted that Near would venture up to his room this early in the day, but Mello wasn't sure. I don't believe he was in Roger's office. I didn't look, but....

Mello shook his head and ate the last piece of his chocolate bar. Why do I care where Near is anyway? Mello crumpled up the wrapper of the candy and tossed it into the trash bin within the Common Room. He turned and walked out of the Common Room and continued to walk down the hallway, heading towards the back doors of the orphanage.

Matt's words echoed through Mello's head. 'Mello, maybe you need to clear your head'. Mello frowned at the words. Clear my head? Of what? Matt didn't directly say what I need to clear my head of. He did hint Near though.

At the very thought of Near, Mello's nose scrunched up and his icy blue eyes narrowed. Near. That white-haired, gray-eyed albino teen made every blood cell in Mello's skin boil as if it where being broiled under the summer sun. No mattered how hard Mello studied or how long, Near always came out on top. Near would always get a perfect score, and Mello would miss perfection by one mark. It didn't matter the circumstances, the outcome remained the same.

"Well, Matt," Mello said to himself, "I'll try out your suggestion."

Mello's mind rolled over the memories of last weekend, replaying his and Matt's conversation. Mello sighed. As insecure and wrong as it sounded, it was the truth. Mello had beat—Well, that day it would be considered punched—Near in face all because Near had received a better test score than Mello. It's easy as to my reason for doing that. Mello told himself. The only thing is why? Why did I do it? Mello snorted and shook his head. Because I'm 'just an immature boy who likes to pick on others littler than him'. Mello couldn't suppress his laugh at remembering Linda's angered words.

However, Mello would be the first to object to the word immature. He was impulsive, yes, but definitely not immature. Mello knew he ran by strong, various emotions—that were sometimes unclear and misplaced—and it wasn't something he'd lightly admit to. It was one reason why Near would always be better than Mello. Near never showed any humanly emotions, ever. That robotic teen remained logical and observant. Sure, Mello was observant too, but remained more emotional than logical. Mello wasn't going to change that; he wasn't going to suddenly alter himself because of him. Near did not have that kind of power of him!

Mello paused in the doorway of the Wammy's courtyard. He stared blankly pasted the soaked playing fields of the courtyard and stared at the woods. Due to the pouring of rain, the woods appeared darker and eerier than usual. He frowned and tightened one of his hands into a fist. Why do I hate Near? Do I really hate him over grades?

Remembering back to when Near first arrived at the orphanage, Mello and Matt got along fairly decently. They all had their differences back then as well, but they were okay with that. The continued throughout the ordinary days. Mello and Matt only continued to grow closer together in friendship. Matt almost could be described as a brotherly figure to Near; he often playful teased him. Even back then, Mello and Near's conversations were simple, but one thing they were then that they weren't now was relaxed. Simple and relaxed.

Mello wouldn't dare admit this, but he enjoyed the relaxed aura that they shared in the past. Near would work quietly on his puzzles in the Common Room, and Mello would lean against the back wall and stared out the large windows of the Common Room while nibbling on a chocolate bar. Their conversation topics would vary a great distance, but the feeling of them remained the same.

After Roger finally sat down and talked to everyone about grades and L that one Wednesday in December, everything changed. Mello and Near's relationship took a turn for the worse. Mello remembered that there was a gradual change. No, it was a sudden shift. Mello would say that they'd be rivals because there can only be one L, but Mello knew the real truth of the past. Mello knew the real reason why their friendship had stopped. It wasn't something Mello would admit—not even to Matt and not even to L.

It's not true now, though. Mello told himself abruptly. The reason has changed; it's only about grades now. Mello told himself as he pulled open one of the double, glass doors and ventured outside. Mello didn't particularly want to get wet, so he stayed beside the walls of the orphanage as he walked down the muddy path. He took a mental note that he'd have to clean his shoes before walking back inside. Walking down the path, Mello sighed. Trying to clear my head only made my mind more cluttered.


8D

I'm so proud at how long this chapter is!

Finally I wrote a longer chapter for you guys!

Hopefully the rest of them while be longer like this, but we'll have to see.

Hahaha. Yes! I added a Dane Cook spin off if you caught it.

Back in the day is ALWAYS a Wednesday.

;D

Please review~