And so, here we are. There have been no incidents in getting from that barn to the train station. Indeed, Carter in right when he said that Ivan the train conductor was an agent for the Underground and someone we can trust. I tried to talk normally to him after which Carter and I paid for our tickets and boarded, presenting our identification cards.

I whispered to Carter as we waited in line, "Let me see if he's one of us." Nodding his head and not bothering to protest this time, Carter went ahead, but he stood off to one side inside, watching me, as if he wanted to rescue me if there were any hazards in my way. Rob most likely ordered him to do so and to watch every move I do. I sighed with this thought for all I wanted to do was see if there any reason why Carter and I can trust this specific conductor. And if so, can he supply us with the information we need? Can he tell us if there was something wrong at High Command?

After presenting my ticket to the person named Ivan, whose eyes followed my every move as my papers were accepted, I stepped off to the side and said, "Excuse me, I need a light." Moving away so that everyone else could board, I saw, in the corner of my eye, that Ivan had motioned for another conductor, who was inside to watch the people, to take over his duties of checking identification cards and stamping tickets. This was what I wanted him to do. I think he understood that I wanted to be alone for a minute and probably that, as a gentleman should check, I needed a light for my cigarette. I didn't need the cigarette this time because I wasn't nervous, but that I wanted to trap him and check that he is one of us.

Ivan himself came over, just as I planned, and pulled out a lighter. I saw that Carter moved towards the doorway from his post inside of the train, but by just giving him one of my menacing stares did he move back. He stayed still, as I wanted him to.

It was then that Ivan came up to me and asked, "Do you need a light?"

Pulling out the pack of cigarettes that Newkirk gave me a week ago, I pulled out a sweet dream come true and held it out for Ivan to light as with the other hand I put the pack back in my jacket. The light from his American Zippo lit the small, darkened place besides the train's entranceway; the skies were darkening and it was almost a reassurance to see light after so much darkness and cloudy skies.

"Every time I looked out my window, I can see the brightness…and I need one badly," I said quickly, indicating the cigarette needed to be lit. The other train conductor behind us, I saw, was staring at us suspiciously, but smiled as Ivan lit my cigarette from a lighter produced from his pocket. He understood what Ivan was doing and minded his own business. Perhaps I was a lady friend he wanted to talk to privately?

Ivan offered his arm after putting his lighter away as I puffed away on my dream come true, something I didn't need but appreciated anyway. I took it, taking notice that my neck wasn't bothering me (this was a good sign). Ivan then led me away from the crowds at the entranceway of the train, and further down the pathway I never noticed before.

Besides us, Carter was still watching me from the window, and continued to as he, I saw, went into one compartment after another, making sure that I was to be all right. He kept bumping into everyone on board and I could tell that he was obviously nervous, whereas I wasn't. I knew that there wasn't anything to worry about with Ivan and even if there was, my neck would tell me. I haven't listened to it ever, but now, especially on this important mission, I have to yield to something others would smirk at.

Ivan had led to towards the back of the train, and as far as I could tell, Carter was still following us inside (in spite of my orders to stay put and to let me handle Ivan). My arm tightly into his, Ivan stopped someplace darker than what I had wanted to be in – probably to ensure that we weren't being watched, but mistaken, hopefully, for lovers. He heard my code, and it was time for him to volley. Whether it was for better or worse for us, I couldn't figure, but my neck wasn't bothering me.

Still in his arms, the conductor embraced me as I put out my cigarette on the ground and whispered in my ear (a light German accent in my ears), "There are many dangers about, Desertstar. Why are you here? I thought, like all the others, that you were going to be the second station in Osnabruck. This train goes to Bremen, and then to the shores for England. Surely you couldn't be going –" He broke away from me, as an upset lover would do, and waited for my answer.

Could I trust him, though? Is he reliable enough to help us get to England and back without the Gestapo behind us and an execution in the near future? I didn't know.

I thought quickly of what to answer Ivan with, but had no ready answer. I found that I was speechless and not being able to reply.

There was silence before Ivan spoke again. He knew what that matter was, dead-on. He is as meditative as Rob is and always knew what the issues were – the perfect agent, or double-agent, if such was the case. "So, you won't depend on me?" he asked.

"I wouldn't say that," I said feebly, almost spitting the words out. "There have been…holes in the system, we believe, and I am off to find them. I have brought a companion with me and right at this moment, he should be watching out for me."

As if on cue, Carter revealed himself in the window of a compartment of a train, a gun winking at Ivan. As I spun around to see him and the gun, I gestured that Carter put it away, lest he cause more suspicious upon us, and he obeyed me. Stupid move, Carter I thought. I even gave him a fright when I gave him another menacing stare. Carter obeyed me eventually as people filed behind him to make seats in the neighboring compartments.

Meanwhile, there was silence afterward and no words to say to the conductor. Ivan, after a few minutes of more silence, had enough of this game of cat and mouse. "That is not a reason to trust me," he persisted to grab my attention. "I have been known to be a reliable agent to the Cause, and London has always called on me to –"

"I wouldn't know that, and there are no ways to prove it right now!" I said equally stubborn in my belief that he might be a fraud. Even though my neck hasn't prickled in danger, I still had to be practical and wait to see if Carter and I can trust this man and rely on his instincts to survive in Krautland.

"There are many," Ivan insisted. "For one thing, I knew who you were just by part of a code you mainly use as I lit your cigarette. Another one you use is 'Is this desert's star the one that seems to cover the starry skies?' Your reply is 'Yes, and it is the shining star that might brighten up this stage tonight.' It is just another piece of the mysterious figure you have become to the Nazis – they even have a file on you and Papa Bear, Colonel Hogan – and they are still searching for you and suspect that you are such this character still. But there is no evidence because all those generals that saw you in Paris have mysterious vanished – dead."

"Anyone could have picked that up, dangerous as I have many codes," I challenged. I was thrown off by his information on who Rob is. Panic hit me, until I realized that my neck wasn't prickling, and I calmed down.

Besides which, I had no idea about those generals I saw in Paris, unless London had a job kill them all. It's a possibility.

"Not exactly," Ivan replied as matter-of-factly. "Everyone knows that you're a P.O.W. at Luftstalag 13 outside of Hammelburg and that you were placed there because of the shortage of medical workers – prisoners – and the quota of women that needed to be added there. I must say, there haven't been any more female spies who happen to be nurses caught and tortured. They also don't happen to be one of the most wanted by the Gestapo even as you're under their noses. I also know that you have been at Auschwitz for about five months, about the time you were captured in December 1942 to about late April to early May 1943. Your companion was Major Nancy Sarah Donovan-White, aged forty-seven thereabouts, who was your mentor and always talked you out of your reckless behavior. After being transferred to Stalag 13, she was shot on the confession she made that she was ringleader in H8WC, the group that was out to demolish the rocket that would have destroyed the Allied Forces permanently. You meanwhile, had been shot but partook in many of Colonel Hogan's schemes to wreck chaos in the area around Stalag 13. Now, if there anything else you want me to prove?"

Ivan's last statement was so arrogant, so like the Nazi's response to the problems the outsiders caused that I had cause to pause. He knew too much and was much too eager to reveal what he knew to prove who he wants me to believe. True, he knew some intimate details of my life and knew who Nancy was to me (G-d rest her soul), her age and her Fate, but it didn't prove anything still. I needed one more detail, posing it in another code, of course, that nobody and I do mean nobody knew outside of Headquarters in London (I never used it). So, as Ivan waited for my reply, I said, "Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes like they have any right at all to criticize…"

"Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason," Ivan finished, seeing my surprised face, knowing that I would now trust him discreetly and at my own risk.

After a lengthy silence, of which the other train conductor called for Ivan and me to come aboard, I said, as Ivan took my hand and led me back, with Carter following us inside, "Tell us what is going on at High Command later on, when you have the time. Make sure that nobody sees you and that if they do say that it is a social call to a lost lover or someone you saw as marriageable material, as you suggested and gestured earlier. Knock three times and just enter. Announce yourself as if we were meeting again."

"With much pleasure, to one of the best female spies in this war," Ivan praised me, much as I didn't deserve it, as we walked back to the entranceway of the train. He handed me back to Carter, waiting anxiously inside, and went in the opposite direction, towards the engineering sectors. I motioned that Carter move back into the sections of the stalls. Carter too took my hand, as if he was the lover, and led me to the back of the train where he was last, watching me in case of danger. He opened the door for me, and let go as I slipped into a seat and eased myself in a comfortable position. I was very tired and it had, indeed, been a long day – a long week I should say. I closed my eyes and heard our compartment door shut. I knew that Carter too was tired and ready to crash on his seat opposite of me. But before sleep comes work and it is more important right now. I, for one, cannot be left off-guard.

"Carter," I said with my eyes closed still, "please don't go to sleep yet. Ivan is coming in later on, so wait for him." I yawned, and Carter followed me and did it two more times because he was so tired. He still needed his orders before he went to sleep on me, so I kept talking, loudly enough for him to hear and not the others outside. "Carter, we can trust him, to an extent. His visit later will determine if I want to trust him completely or not. Remember, keep your mouth shut and don't talk about why we're heading to overseas."

"You mean to England?" Carter said as I opened my eyes. I must have flashed my angry eyes at him (I was angry with him for speaking so out of turn like that again) since Carter backed into his seat across from me.

"Shut up Carter!" I hissed, sitting up and trying to get him to be serious. "There are ears outside and about you know it. The first rule in spying is to shut up and not reveal your intentions, especially in public places like this. Just…keep your mouth closed and keep awake until we get to a safer haven. You know the risks in this. The job isn't over yet. Keep awake and keep to yourself. And that's an order." Carter popped his eyes out. He knew that my orders were not frequent, and when I issue them, I expect them to be followed to the letter. I was lost for words though. I was getting those headaches that Rob gets sometimes and I knew, without my neck telling me, that this was going to be a long mission.

Carter, recovering from his fright, sat straighter in his seat, silent. Then: "Mad'm, are those the orders for now?"

"Yes," I said, smacking my forehead and shaking it in my hands. "So just watch out for Ivan. And don't go to sleep. Please don't do that. Like I said, our work is not done yet, and the Krauts can't catch us like this. We have to stay vigilant and alert."

"Yes, Mad'm," Carter said, knowing all too well how much tougher I was than Rob.

Damn, my neck is pricking, and I'm wondering why.

Oops, the door's being tapped. One…two…three times…is it Ivan? I must find out.