Freddie's POV
"What about Wendy?" I asked. The girls and I were now at Carly's apartment after the proposal at the park. Carly was ecstatic that she'd gotten us on tape, but Sam and I weren't the happiest campers. However, we weren't too over-the-top angry with her; just a little peeved. I was surprised Sam hadn't brought up the kiss again, and that neither of us appeared fazed by it. At least, not too fazed.
Carly was sipping some Peppy Cola on the couch as she jotted down on a notebook the names of people to invite. We'd already determined on inviting Principal Franklin, Spencer, Gibby, and Carly—Gibby and Carly were the best man and the maid of honor, though, so they were required to come. We decided against Mandy, Nora, and Nevel, obviously. I was at the computer, uploading the video Carly shot against my will. Since I'm the only one who's tech-savvy, it was automatically my job. Sam was across the counter from me, feasting on a ham sandwich. More specifically, her third ham sandwich. I'd be afraid to marry Sam for real; with her ham cravings, she'd eat us out of house and home.
"Totally!" Sam said, and Carly happily wrote down Wendy's name.
"How about Tasha, Miss Briggs, or Mr. Howard?" Carly offered. Please be kidding, I begged, turning to look at her. A joking smile was on her lips, so I was thankful she wasn't serious. Definitely no Miss Briggs or Mr. Howard—they hated Sam, and inviting them to her wedding would be suicide. And if we invited Tasha when her ex-boyfriend was best man with his girlfriend as maid of honor, Gibby and Carly would be dead before we exchanged our vows.
It was strange how I newly felt about the wedding—instead of being scared and repulsed, I felt like the challenge was actually a fun game. But at the same time I still felt weird about marrying my sworn enemy. Okay…sworn frienemy. I wondered if Sam was still utterly grossed out…
Later we had a much longer list. Along with the original five, we'd added Melanie (much to Sam's protests), Guppy, Socko, Jeremy/Germy, and Dave and Fleck. Not a large list but we didn't know many people. I'd finished uploading the proposal video and was drinking from a water bottle while Sam chowed down on her fifth ham sandwich. Man, she must have a good metabolism, I mused, staring at her. She was thinner than you'd expect a girl who ate like a truck driver would be. However, she wasn't stick-thin; she was very curvy, curvier than Carly…Wait. No, she's not attractive! I'm not staring at Sam's figure, admiring how…alluring…Darn these hormones, I thought, forcing my eyes to gaze at Carly's notebook instead.
"Well, s'pose we're done," she said, closing the notebook and standing, "I'll head to the card store and buy some invitations and mail 'em out pronto. I guess I don't have to send one to your mom, Freddie—" I swear, in that one moment when she said "mom", Sam and I froze in unison. My lips barely grazing the bottle and her teeth half-way into the toasted bread. My mom…oh, crud, my mom! She hated Sam with a fiery passion and she wouldn't be happy with me getting married to her, let alone at sixteen! She'd have a freakin' conniption! Or a heart attack. Or both.
The blonde-haired girl and I hopped up and ran to Carly. As she turned from placing her notebook on the counter, she had Sam's fingers digging into the flesh of her arms as she gave her the death stare. I was standing from afar, my eyes popping out like a fly's.
"We are not inviting his loony-bird mommy to our wedding." Sam snarled, "She'll get a restraining order against me, and may even contact the cops. Wouldn't put it past her to." I felt a little upset at her calling my mom those things, but in that minute, the words were appropriate.
Carly rose one black eyebrow on her forehead, looking in a skeptical way at the both of us. She knew exactly why we were traumatized by my mom knowing yet she seemed downright astounded at our outburst. It wasn't that hard to understand my mom would go nutty if she found me and Sam together.
"You can't just not tell her." she said, "If you were really getting married, you'd tell her, right?"
"No!" Sam and I yelled at the same time, "Why should we?" We both looked to each other after that—Sam and I had accidentally spoken at the same time twice. It was irritating how we knew what the other would say. And weird.
Sam rolled her eyes and turned back to Carly. She said "We're not telling Mrs. B. No way, no how." Carly shook her head in a defiant way. She could get just as determined as Sam when she wanted and/or needed something. When they got into an argument, it was hard to tell who would win. Normally Sam, but Carly had her share of winnings too.
"It won't be accurate if you don't tell her." Carly said, "If you were really getting married, you'd tell her. If you don't, you'll lose—"
"I won't lose the hackin' challenge!" Sam shouted, her face an infuriated scarlet.
"Oh, yes you will!" Carly shouted, "If you don't tell her, it'll be unlike if you really married, meaning you lose, meaning you get paint—"
"We'll do it." I said. They gazed at me in amazement and confusion. Carly was right; if we were really going to wed, I'd tell my mom. Personally I didn't want to lose, whether or not Sam lost with me. I would tell my mom just so I'd keep my church clothes clean and fresh and my pride unstained.
Sam looked accusingly at me but emitted a low growl instead of a punch. "Fine but when she has a hissy-fit, it won't be my problem." I smirked and took her hand in mine, strolling out of Carly's apartment and towards my own.
I took my house key out of my pocket, letting go of Sam's hand in the process, and put it in the lock. After opening the door, I saw my mother vacuuming the carpet for the most likely tenth time or so. Being a germophobe is another of her "issues", as the blonde-headed demon referred to them as.
"H-Hey, Mom." I stuttered. She turned off the vacuum and ran over to the door once she heard her name. She looked relieved and agitated at the same time. She grabbed me and twisted me round, checking me for anything unsanitary. Usually I had to take a bath first, but considering I'd brought company, Mom must've been being civil.
"Good, no ticks or any other bug or animal." Mom murmured. Then she stepped back and noticed Sam for the first time. Her eyes narrowed and her lips formed a thin, white line on her face. I could tell she wasn't very happy that Sam had crossed into her happy home and that made me even more worried about the bomb that was about to be dropped.
"Hello, Samantha," she said frostily, "been traumatizing my son lately?" Sam purely smirked, her incisors appearing like fangs with the malicious way she stared at my mother. I guessed it was to rile my mom up, not to be actually evil, for her smirk grew wider as Mom took a startled step back.
"I'm trying to cut down." Sam responded, and you could hear the amusement in her voice at terrorizing Mom like this—as though my suffering wasn't enough.
Mom's open mouth closed again into her tight line and she appeared more so annoyed than angry—but still angry nonetheless. She went over to Sam and took her shoulder in hand while steering her towards the door. "Very nice of you to drop by, Samantha, but it's time for you to be going—"
"Freddison and I have to tell you something!" Sam shouted, wrenching away from my mom's grip and running to me. "It's very important. Tell her, Freddie." She nudged me—not lightly—and I stumbled forward. After fully regaining my balance, I looked up to see my mom staring at me expectantly.
"What is it, Freddiebear? !" she said, "What's wrong? ! Are you sick? !" I gulped and looked to Sam for reassurance: she smirked and looked as though she was trying to hold back rolling on the floor with laughter. I wished she'd shown me any support at all but none came. She wouldn't be laughing when Mom starting whacking her with my boxer shorts.
"W-W-Well," I stammered, "y-you see…S-Sam and I…we're kind of…sorta…like, getting married tomorrow." I watched my mom's face as the news settled in: first her eyes were bugged out in worry. Next, her mouth gradually dropped open. Then, she screeched.
"What? !" she yelled, her hand flying to clutch her heart, "What did you say? !" I stepped away from my mom in fear she'd suddenly go mad. She looked as though she would start foaming at the mouth soon. I saw Sam start to grow fidgety and she too walked away from Mom. We stared at her as she began to hyperventilate and her grip around her chest tightened. I began to wonder if we should call 911. In fact, my hand was inching toward my pocket, but when her breathing regulated I didn't take my cell out.
"How in the world could you do this? !" she shouted, grabbing my arms and shaking me, "How could you decide to throw your life away by marrying at sixteen? ! And with that—!" She stopped screaming at me and her eyes landed on Sam, and they became even angrier. She let me go and marched up to her, fire dancing in her pupils.
"You demon!" she screamed, the air from her lungs actually blowing Sam's hair a bit. "You've made my baby's life unbearable and now you've convinced him you love him? ! Is this some kind of game? !" Sam's mouth opened to retaliate but I knew that would only worsen the problem. So, before anything could be said, I jumped in.
"I proposed to her, Mom!" I yelled, "I…um, I love her! Yeah…" Sam's eyes looked ready to roll in irritation, but she held back the urge. My voice cracked as I stated I "loved" Sam; during another occasion I would've gotten red in the face, because me loving Sam was weird and stupid. But I hoped my mom took the bait, although I would've been just as happy if she didn't.
She took it.
"Oh my word!" she whispered, "I don't believe it. How…?" Suddenly, her expression became once more angered. Her bony hand reached out and grabbed my shoulder, and she dragged me away towards my bedroom. "I forbid you to see her ever again!" Even with my teenage boy strength, she was able to push me into my room and lock the door before I could say a word. As the lock clicked shut and my face hit the carpeting, I heard my mother scream and the front door being slammed.
She had locked me in and kicked Sam out.
Guess Mrs. B isn't too happy...will that change? Or will there never be a Seddie wedding? Read to find out! Also, I'm so excited for Saturday! I can't wait until Victorious and, much much much much more importantly, iCarly to premeire! iBeat the Heat has finally arrived! It'll be epic!