CHAPTER 2

After the episode with Eileen, House put her far from his mind and focused on his mission for that night: the Rebel in Hush Puppies and Operation Shoe Board. He spent most of the afternoon surfing the board, soaking up information about shoe lovers. It was quite interesting really and he learned two things: 1. Shoe fetishes were truly a subculture all its own; and 2. there were a LOT of freaky people in the world.

That night, after a somewhat uneventful rest of the day, House opened his laptop, a bottle of beer and his fast food bag and settled down at Wilson's coffee table. He looked at his watch. 6:00 and Wilson still wasn't home. Pushing that to the back of his brain, he concentrated on the task at hand. That afternoon he'd only read; now he wanted to communicate. He clicked on the "Sign Up Here! It's Free!" logo at the top right of the page.

'WELCOME TO THE SHOE BOARD. PLEASE CREATE A USERNAME AND PASSWORD. YOU MUST HAVE A VALID EMAIL ADDRESS TO COMMUNICATE ON THIS BOARD'

"User name? What the hell??" He got out of that page, resolving not to join unless he felt absolutely compelled, and went on a mission to find the latest REBEL IN HUSH PUPPIES posting. He clicked on the first topic he saw… 'Cowboy Boots'. A list of subtopics underneath that heading came up, including the last message left under the 'Cowboy boots' heading. House's smirk widened as he read it…

I love wearing shoes during sex. Cowboy boots have the best traction when I'm wrapped around a guy. If I feel really horny I wear my spurs. LIME GREEN BOOTS

"Either Lime Green Boots is a fruit or a woman I suddenly have to know," House murmured. He clicked on that topic and found the message had been posted five minutes earlier. No responses yet. House suddenly felt compelled to join. When it came time to choose a username he was stumped. "It's gotta be somethin' with shoes. What do I know about shoes?" He looked across his apartment and saw his orange and grey Nikes. "Perfect."

Doctor Gregory House was now… Orange Nike Runners.

Happy to see he could post as soon as he signed on, House went back to the Cowboy Boots topic. Clicking on 'Reply' he typed…

"Oh, kinky. But why boots?" He clicked 'Post Message' and smiled when he saw his username atop the message. He saw that LIME GREEN BOOTS was underlined and he dragged his mouse over it. Curious he clicked on it and up came a profile, including a place for a picture and some bio information. Surprise of all surprises, the profile picture of LIME GREEN BOOTS was just that… a lime green boot. He was disappointed to see how it lacked much biographical information but was thoroughly happy to find that Lime Green Boots was a she.

House perused some more and found that REBEL IN HUSH PUPPIES was online. He looked at his watch. 6:00. That meant Jimmy was still at the hospital. Explains why he's been getting home later than usual lately. He followed HUSH PUPPIES to the 'Loveable Loafers' topic and laughed at his friend's message…

I love furry loafers but my new roommate makes fun of everything I wear so I only wear them when he's not around. Of course, there's a lot of things he doesn't know about. This board for example…

"What is going on with Jimmy? Just wait until he finds out…"

House returned to his message to LIME GREEN BOOTS and found she'd left him a message…

It's not always boots. It depends on the guy and the occasion. For example, I love my black stilettos for sex on a worn leather couch after a night at the opera. I've worn ballet shoes that day my ex and I put on a show for the nature scouts in the park. Had to pay each kid $10 not to blab but that was some of the best sex I've ever had. There's just nothing like the feel of worn leather boots chafing my calves as a man chafes my thighs. LIME GREEN BOOTS

House answered back…

How do you feel about orange runners?

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