CHAPTER 4
"PING!" House looked up then smiled. LGB had pinged him for a private conversation. He hit 'ACCEPT' then typed…
ONR: LGB?
LGB: Hi ONR. Hope ur day is better than mine
ONR: What's wrong?
LGB: oh nuttin' just a jerk I'm dealin' with.
ONR: o ya? want me 2 beat him up?
LGB: LOL. no. he's just a miserable old sod who hates every1.
ONR: wanna have sex and 4get about it?
LGB: sure. y not?
ONR: really?
LGB: no. tell me about u but nothing 2 personal
ONR: ok y?
LGB: I wanna know who I'm touching myself for
*****
"EILEEN!" She couldn't believe she wrote that. She chocked it up to her frustration with Dr. House.
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"Holy sh!t!" House exclaimed. "She's the easiest woman I haven't screwed in my life…"
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ONR: whoa, slow down there filly
LGB: I'm sorry
ONR: don't be. I should be flattered. if u knew me u wouldn't want to sleep with me
LGB: o really? R u that bad?
ONR: if I was would u think less of me?
LGB: if u told me u were no because u aren't lyin'
ONR: I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of
LGB: we all have
ONR: yesterday was my 1st time on the board
LGB: really?
ONR: yeah
LGB: and?
ONR: I cyberfondled the 1st person I met. I'd say it went well.
LBG: LOL yes it did but I feel kinda dirty
ONR: why?
LGB: because we just met. I don't fondle at a first meeting
ONR: u dirty girl
LGB: what do u do?
ONR: I'd like to do u
LGB: forward aren't we?
ONR: hello pot I'm kettle
LGB: ok, ok but I said no personal stuff
ONR: y?
LGB: its much easier that way
ONR: do u have a name
LGB: I said no personal stuff
ONR: I don't wanna call u LGB. U call me Pistol
LGB: Pistol? Y Pistol?
ONR:
LGB: oh brother
ONR: LOL No, call me Dr. Destructo.
LGB: LOL y? r u a doc?
ONR: Yep
LGB: Seriously?
ONR: Yep
*****
Eileen sat back in her seat. What is it with ONR? They're dialogue was so free and easy. She had no idea she could flirt like that.
*****
This woman made House laugh as she matched him banter for banter. Her mind was as dirty as his. He never wanted off the computer if it meant talking to her.
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ONR: what should I call u?
LGB: Drea
ONR: is that ur name?
LGB: nickname
ONR: k. Drea. tell me about u
LGB: y?
ONR: I told u I was a doc.
LGB: so?
ONR: and u r the most exciting person I've met in a long time
LGB: don't get out much do ya?
ONR: no
LGB: I don't either. I just moved here and I don't know any 1
ONR: why did u move there?
LGB: my husband died 2 yrs ago and I needed a change of scenery
ONR: I'm sorry
LGB: ty but I'm not
ONR: y?
LGB: he was abusive and he cheated on me. anyway I'm a doc 2
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"Whoa, slow down girl. Don't tell him anything else."
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House sat up. "A doc as well?"
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ONR: u r a doc 2?
LGB: yep
ONR: what kind?
LGB: 2 much info
ONR: y stay anonymous?
LGB: because
ONR: is that all I get from u?
LGB: …
ONR: fine. Hubby sounded like a prick
LGB: he was but I didn't know he cheated until he died. His girlfriends had the gall to show up at the funeral
ONR: whoa
LGB: yeah. It was like a bad movie.
****
Eileen's phone rang. "Eileen Simons."
"Eileen? It's Dr. Cuddy. Can you come down here for a moment?"
"Sure. Be right there."
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LGB: gotta go. C ya l8tr?
ONR: better believe it. 7 eastern 2nite?
LGB: sure. C ya
LIME GREEN BOOTS HAS LEFT THE ROOM.
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House sat back and ran a hand through his hair. "What the hell are you doing? You don't do cyber relationships because you can't do her." What about the porn? "But that's not a relationship. Whoa, whoa, whoa!!" He halted himself. "Who said anything about a relationship?" If he could physically kick himself he'd have kicked his own ass by then.
The phone rang. "House."
"Get your ass down here."
"Cuddy, my Liege. Are you finally ready for the time of your life?"
PAUSE. "Get your ass down here."
"Where? To your office or to my knees in front of you?"
PAUSE. "Get your ass down here. NOW." CLICK.
House smirked. He so had her where he wanted her.
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