Zack was working at the smoothie bar, on a slow business day. Mr. Moesby came up to Zack, as his usual self: white shorts, red jacket, silk shirt, hankie in breast pocket.
"Zack, one Blueberry Bonanza please," he said
"Coming right up," Zack said
Zack threw a handful of blueberries, yoghurt, whipped cream, and ice into a blender, and switched it on. Sneakily, Zack dropped a cherry bomb in it, disguised as a blueberry. He then poured the drink, and handed it to Moesby.
"Thank you," Moesby said, "And, for not pulling any tomfoolery, a tip."
Moesby handed him four dollars; the smoothie was only two.
"Thanks," Zack pocketed the money
"Ah! That was a test," Moesby said, taking back one dollar, "Official smoothie bar rules dictate that all bills must be checked for authenticity."
The smoothie blew up in Mr. Moesby's face at the right minute. Moesby gave Zack his signature growl, but then winked at him. Zack winked back. As soon as Mr. Moesby was gone, Zack checked the bills for authenticity by holding them up to the sunlight. The first one had a message on it.
/
CM,
/
I hope you discovered this message. Tonight, I am heading out on shore leave to try and do some local crime fighting. I would appreciate having you as backup. Place this bill in your wallet if you will come with me.
-TBS
/
Zack slipped the bill into his wallet. It was a good thing it was empty because the bill suddenly burst into flames, self-destructing. He checked the next two bills for messages: number two contained a message saying 'use the third one for equipment', and the next one contained a small flap that Zack peeled back, revealing a $100 bill.
"Sweet…" he muttered
/
On his way to judge the shuffleboard tournament, Moesby passed by the ship's public relations advisor, Janine Snauf. Every time he saw her, he always thought he recognized her. It would seem like he would easily remember who she was, with her clear skin and blonde hair. But he just couldn't figure it out…
/
That night…
/
Zack managed to sneak off the ship through the automobile entrance; his magnetic manipulator was perfect for picking locks. No sooner had he stepped onto the docks had The Black Shade revealed himself. He sat on a crate, maneuvering one of his ninja stars in his hand.
"That's a pretty good trick, Black Shade," Zack said
The Black Shade looked up.
"Yes, very good for manual dexterity," The Black Shade said, "Now, I've drawn out a route for us, targeting the crime heavy zones."
Zack was amazed how clear Mr. Moesby sounded through the black scarf.
"OK," Zack nodded
"Did you get some good equipment with that money I gave you?"
"Oh yeah," Zack lifted up his shirt, revealing a bullet-proof vest, "I bought it off Kirby."
"Excellent," The Black Shade said, "So, shall we get going…?"
/
The Black Shade and Chick Magnet strolled through the streets, seeing a family being mugged. Chick Magnet wanted to get the mugger immediately, but The Black Shade held him back.
"Hold back the bullets," The Black Shade ordered, "But we won't engage the mugger in combat until the family is a safe distance away."
"OK," Chick Magnet spread out his arms, aiming a magnetic beam at the gun
"Excellent. Now, he's got their wallets and jewelry, he's pocketing them, running away…"
Chick Magnet aimed his manipulator at a fire escape, sending it slamming down onto the mugger. He fell to the ground, in a daze.
/
The Black Shade returned the stolen goods to the family, and left with Chick Magnet.
"We'll take to the rooftops for the next part," The Black Shade said, "I have an idea of what you can do with your manipulator."
The two of them climbed up the very fire escape that had apprehended the mugger, and they began running over the roof. They came to the ledge.
"Now, Chick Magnet, I want you to aim your manipulator at that street lamp," The Black Shade explained, "If my calculations are correct, you should be able to swing from one side to the next."
"But I've never done anything that big before," Zack protested, "I don't think the machine can handle it."
"True," The Black Shade said, "But…"
He reached to Zack's chest piece, and pulled out the six AA batteries that were in it. In a swift, fluid motion, he replaced it with a glowing metal orb.
"What is that?" gasped Zack
"It's a military grade lithium battery," The Black Shade said, "I found it in the lost and found."
/
With The Black Shade's encouragement, Chick Magnet aimed his manipulator at the lamppost, and managed to, albeit clumsily, swing to the other building.
"How are you going to get across?" Chick Magnet asked
The Black Shade hurled a grappling hook across to the rooftop Chick Magnet was on. The next moment was the most thrilling thing he had ever seen. The Black Shade then yanked the rope, and pulled himself across; he jumped up into the air, leaping from roof-to-roof, kicking on the lampposts to give himself some momentum. The way his overcoat flared in the wind was incredible, like a flag in a wind tunnel. The Black Shade touched down on the roof, his shoes making a loud stomp as they hit the tarmac. He then wound in his ropes, completing the awesome move.
"Wow," breathed Chick Magnet
"Moving on…" The Black Shade said
/
The two of them magnet-swung and grapple-hooked to their destination: Irving's Grocery store. It was a little hole-in-the-wall joint that was family owned.
"Are you sure this is the right place?" Chick Magnet asked
"The Black Shade is never wrong…" he said
/
The two of them climbed down the building, and entered the shop. An elderly Jewish man was being harassed by two guys in snazzy suits.
"Hey, look gramps," one of the guys said, "It's simple. Half your profits in exchange for protection."
"Who are you guys?" Irving asked, looking at The Black Shade
"Justice…" growled The Black Shade
He lashed out at the first guy with a throat punch, just as Zack magnetized their guns, rendering them useless. One guy tried to get Zack; Zack threw a switch on his wrist-controller, creating localized magnetic field disruption. The guys couldn't tell up from down.
"Alright, you tell me who you're working for," The Black Shade growled
"I ain't telling you anything!" the guy said
"Zack, activate the brain scan," The Black Shade ordered
Zack pretended to push buttons on his manipulator controller. All the metal objects in the room began to vibrate slightly. It was a trick that they had talked about earlier.
"OK I'll talk! I'll talk!" one of the snazzy-suit-criminals said, "I'm working for Jake the Snake!"
"Jake the Snake?" The Black Shade raised an eyebrow, "The supposed son of Sid the Squid?"
"Yeah!"
"What's he doing in Atlantic City?"
Before Moesby could get an answer, Irving reached behind the counter, and fired a shot into the air; the criminals ran away.
"What was that?" The Black Shade said, frustrated
"Look guys, I appreciate you helping me out," Irving said, "But I'd rather have a fifty-percent profit loss than get involved with the mob."
"But…" The Black Shade was furious, "It doesn't have to be this way!"
"Look, buddy, I appreciate the help, but I really don't want any mob involvement in my store."
/
The Black Shade and Chick Magnet returned to the ship, their mission far from complete.
"At least we saved that guy," Chick Magnet said
"That's true," The Black Shade said, "But we've got a lot to do. Incidentally, good for catching on with the brain scan routine."
"Oh yeah, Marcus and I did almost the exact same thing when we convinced Woody that it was no-trousers day at school."
/
Ms. Tutweiller sat in her dressing room, getting ready for her Starlight Lounge gig. She stood in front of the mirror, admiring the white dress she was wearing for the show. It felt nice to wear a dress, instead of some tight-strapless-legsy-high-cut thing. To maintain her integrity as a teacher, she wore a black domino mask.
"Now where did I put the manager's diamond necklace?" Ms. Tutweiller muttered
Ms. Tutweiller was already wearing a diamond bracelet, a diamond anklet, diamond earrings, and there were even a few diamonds embedded in her belt, which made sense because the song she was singing was 'diamonds are forever'.
"Emma Tutweiller?" came a voice
"Yes?"
Ms. Tutweiller turned around, and saw a woman wearing a devil mask. In her hand was a silver revolver.
"This is a thirty-eight police special," the Devil-Woman said, "One of the most reliable guns in the world. Don't try anything silly."
Thirty-eight police special, Ms. Tutweiller thought, didn't Marion say something about that?
/
Devil-Woman took the diamonds, stripped Ms. Tutweiller to her underwear, and then rigged up an elaborate trap involving Ms. Tutweiller standing on a table in handcuffs, with a rope tied around her neck and the ceiling fan. If she tried to get off the table, she would be choked to death.
"Now then," Devil-Woman placed a piece of tape around Ms. Tutweiller's mouth, "This should give me just enough time to cover my tracks before someone finds you."
/
Devil-Woman walked out. Ms. Tutweiller attempted to move the table with her feet, gently pushing it closer to the phone. If she got close enough to it, she could dial the alarm number. Ms. Tutweiller got just close enough, but then accidentally knocked over a bottle of water, which poured into an electric socket, which started a fire. The entire carpet in the room was soon ablaze…
/
To be continued next week, same Black Shade-Time, same Black Shade-Channel…