CHAPTER 9

The next morning Eileen shoved a patient's folder across her desk. "Stephanie, please take this to him. I'm busy!"

Stephanie, the nurse from the surgery Eileen had worked the day before, sighed and rolled her eyes but shook her head. "No! You're just avoiding House. Everybody knows about the two of you. Hell, the office pool is up to $3,000. Would you just boink him already? My husband's birthday's coming up and he wants a new flat screen TV. I still have a chance of winning."

Eileen didn't know whether to scream or fire the impertinent nurse. Since Stephanie the Impertinent Nurse was union she was left to the screaming. Eileen growled. "Fine. I could just take it to his lackeys."

"You know that he signs off on everything his children do. Just take it to him and get it over with."

Grumbling under her breath because she knew Stephanie was right, she stood up, smoothed her tailored black trousers, straightened her baby blue cashmere sweater, and marched out the door, clutching the folder and leaving Stephanie the Impertinent Nurse chuckling behind her. When Eileen got to House's office she found it, and the adjoining conference room, empty, a laptop computer open beside his work desktop. She breathed a sigh of relief. Just get in and get out as fast as you can. As she dropped the folder into his chair, her eyes caught what was on the screen of the open laptop. What she saw made her freeze with horror…

The blue banner that heralded THE SHOE BOARD was flashing across the screen, and the words 'WELCOME BACK ORANGE NIKE RUNNERS' made her nerves flick and her stomach churn.

Eileen shook her head as she backed away from the desk. "No, it can't be. It CAN'T be. The man I talk to every night, my best friend, the man I'm having feelings for is… the Antichrist." Eileen felt like crying…but was slightly thrilled at the same time, an emotion she'd never truly admit to. Eileen stood rooted in her spot, wondering what she would do next, when a sudden noise made her look up and she saw House standing in the doorway, warily eyeing her as she stood in the middle of his office. She silently prayed he hadn't heard her talking to herself but she wasn't going to stick around to find out. She moved quickly toward the conference room door, making a wide berth around House but he stepped closer and grabbed her arm.

He didn't say anything at first, studying the face turned from his. His eyes took in her flawless cheek; the beginnings of crow's feet at her eyes; her long, luscious lashes that fluttered with nervousness. Something was up and he was going to find out. "I didn't realize they let the Pillsbury Dough Girl in hospitals nowadays. Did you make that 'whoo hooo' noise as you squeezed past security?"

Eileen distractedly yanked her arm from his grasp and stumbled closer to the door. "Um… patient file." She swept her arm toward the desk.

He studied her closely. "What?"

"I left a patient file. I really should…"

"Why did you kiss me?"

Eileen, her mind still stuck on what she saw on the computer screen, couldn't compute his question. "What?"

"That day you kissed me. Why did you kiss me?"

"Um… I really need to…"

House, still watching her, was even more curious at her sudden change in demeanor and he stepped closer, surprising her when he pulled her toward him. His baby blues darkened as he studied her. "I liked the kiss. I guess big girls can give good lovin' too."

"Not like you'll ever know. Just… leave me alone."

"I can't do that." She didn't say anything as she tried to leave again but he stepped in her way. House wasn't about to let whatever was bothering her get past him, especially not when she'd become suddenly very important to him.

Eileen was looking down, avoiding his eyes. It was driving him batty.

"You might as well tell me what's going on."

She shook her head. "Nothing's going on."

"It is and it has to do with the kiss." He looked around his office then back to her. "You saw something in my office, didn't you?"

Lie to him, she told herself. But make sure you look him in the eye. You have a better chance of him believing you that way. It was almost her undoing: the always beautiful baby blues were even darker when they were this close. "I don't know what you mean."

House, not believing her, said, "I'm going to find out soon enough. It might be less painful if you tell me now."

That got her attention and she switched to combat mode. "Are you blackmailing me?"

He shrugged. "Call it what you will but…" She shrugged him even further away and walked out the door, not missing the end of his sentence. "…I will find out."

*****

You can't meet him now. Dump him over the internet. Tell him NO and DON'T wait until tonight. Do it NOW!! Out of all the possible solutions Eileen had been rolling around in her brain on the trek back to her office, that one was the worst of all. She didn't want to dump ONR; she just didn't want to believe that ONR and House were the same person.

...but…if we meet and he has no idea it's me, I'll have the upper hand. The man will be in the palm of my hand and he won't even realize it.

It could just work.

*****

"Jimmy!" House yelled as he burst into Wilson's office… only to stop when he found Wilson clutched in a passionate embrace. "Whoa! Look at those knockers!"

Wilson and the well-endowed woman pulled apart, startled by the interruption. House's eyebrow rose as he watched the woman hop off the desk and straighten her half-buttoned clothing. House looked at her shoes and smiled then pointed to her feet. "Ah-ha! Is this FLAMING RED PRADAS?"

Wilson, who'd quickly buttoned his pants and miss-buttoned his shirt, and the very attractive brunette stared at each other in horror then back at House. "How do you know that?"

House stared at Wilson without blinking. "I have my ways."

Wilson gulped and turned to the woman. "I'll meet you back at the hotel. Just wait…"

"Hotel?!? Whooo weeeee! You came here for a quickie? That's how long it'll last, you know."

Wilson looked like he was about to blow a gasket. "Easy for you to say, ORANGE NIKE RUNNERS." House's mouth opened then closed. Wilson chuckled and nodded then turned to the woman. "Carrie, I'll call you when I'm done here." The woman nodded and ran as quickly as she could from the room. When she was gone and the door closed, Wilson looked at House and stepped closer. "House, I know you're on the Shoe Board; I know you're Orange Nike Runners; and, judging from your messaging history, you're chasing after a woman named LIME GREEN BOOTS. Now, before you say one more word about me and Carrie…" House opened his mouth to do just that but Wilson cut him off. "…and yes, Carrie is FLAMING RED PRADAS… I want to know what you want."

House didn't say anything for a moment then, "At least PRADAS is a woman. I was about to ask when you turned gay on me."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Oh brother." He shook his head and went around the edge of his desk to sit down. "I think you should forget about LIME GREEN BOOTS and go for Eileen Simons." He shook his head again. "No, the 'but she's fat!' defense doesn't work anymore. I've seen the way you look at her. You want her. Hell, I wouldn't mind a ride with her."

House shifted uncomfortably. "Then what am I to do?"

"Ask Eileen out. Meet LGB in real life. Fuck the hell out of both of them. Just pull yourself together and make a decision."

*****

ONR HAS ENTERED ROOM.

ONR: LGB? It's not 11 yet.

LGB: lets meet.

ONR: whoa…what? Just like that?

LGB: just like that.

ONR: ok. Where?

LGB: this is ur show cowboy

ONR: u decide.

LGB: Fine. What state do u live in?

ONR: Joysey.

LGB: do u live near Trenton?

ONR: not far. Where do u live?

LGB: does it matter?

ONR: I guess not but…

LGB: fine.

*****

"Where? Where? What should I say??" Eileen muttered as she flexed her fingers toward her keyboard.

*****

LGB: I live in PA. Ummm…ok. Trenton Marriott. This Saturday, 3pm. Hotel lobby. I'll wear my boots.

ONR: y Trenton?

LGB: oh, NOW ur quibbling over little details? Last night u sounded desperate

*****

Eileen took a few calming breaths. "What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?" She certainly couldn't convince herself she was doing this to forget House; that point was moot the moment she discovered who ONR was. Then why was she doing this?

*****

House looked at the calendar. It was Thursday. Could he wait two days? He pumped his fist in the air. "YES!"

*****

ONR: ok, ok. Fine. 3pm, Trenton Marriott, this Saturday. I'll make a reservation just 4 us just in case.

LGB: ….

ONR: what?

LGB: presumptuous aren't we?

ONR: hopeful

LGB: fine. u do that. I'll wear a black trench coat as well.

ONR: will you be nekkid underneath?

LGB: wouldn't u like 2 no?

ONR: hell yes

LGB: I gotta go. I have to go out of town 2nite but will be back Sat morning. I'll c u then.

ONR: u can count on it.

LGB HAS LEFT THE ROOM.

*****