Chapter two, this is still very short, but whatever. I have another story that follows this. It would be the same story, but this is just about HOW to get to Stalkless Land, not what happens when I get there. Now enjoy your pre-story argument-

Me- close the door dork

Brother- …

Me- please, and keep it closed

Brother- can you read my mind or something?

Me- yes

Brother- what am I thinking now?

Me-…oh will you just leave!

Brother- hehe

Now to the stupidity that I wrote and you are now reading!

Chapter 2

When Billy gave up and left (after hours of being stalkerish and annoying), I grabbed my favorite book- Gnomes, Gnomes, and Pants- and laid it open on the ground. You'll never believe what I did next; I jumped on the book and...

…Nothing happened, so much for THAT plan. Nothing is that simple nowadays, stupid technology and books that only work as teleportation devices for Gnomelord (note to self, bring Gnomelord to borders next time). So, then I did what any sensible person wouldn't do, push the big, weird red button above the bookshelf. Because of course the warning didn't apply to me, just to the Billy's of the world and other freak stalkers-

WARNING- DO NOT PUSH IF A STALKER, OR BILLY. IF SO THEN CALL A DOCTOR OR THERAPST FOR YOUIR MANY ISSUES AND PROBLEMS, OR A COP WILL COME AFTER YOU WITH A TASER AND STRAIT JACKET. SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE TRIPPING, FALLING, PUSHING WEIRD BUTTONS, GETTING HIT ON THE HEAD A LOT, AND EXTEREM STUPIDITY.

-I'm the one being stalked and I'm already have a counselor at school, and I get hit on the head every sport I play (this is true in my life, not just in this characters), so…I have nothing to lose! Except Billy, but I want to lose him. That's why I was hiding from him, duh. I shouldn't have to explain this to you if you read the first chapter.

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah! O.k., so the floor LOOKED like it fell away at my feet, when really it was just glass or something clear or whatever. Anyways, instead of falling the bookshelf opened up and I was sucked into the wall. And all this in a Borders! Talk about storage space. And stupid Hollywood effects, gosh, this world is no longer original is it?

And being the klutzy me I am, I tripped, and was knocked out. Yeaaah, I'm not very bright, or careful, but I am very awesome. I woke up and found myself in the Land of Lautner, and let me tell ya, I wasn't complaining, I was freaking out (and not in a good way)! Then I found a taxi and I was cool. I got a flight on Air Hippie- Let Your Spirit Fly Free (even though the flight isn't)- for five bucks and my peace sign bracelet. And let me be the one to warn you, in flight entertainment is some yoga dude in a funny hat playing the sitar and bongos, so FYI: it totally sucked!

Yeah, so I got off the plane, grabbed my luggage (when did I pack for this?) and went to my hotel –the Stalk Free Inn (again, room wasn't free)- and found Billy in my hotel room.

"Oh, come on!"

Wow, Billy got skillz, and creepiness. Now, I know what your thinking, `cause I can read minds through computer screens, and yes, this is a very true story…in my imagination.

Review this! I command you!

Half of twin

8.D (*. *) ^(*. *)^ (*. *) (. 8