Reawakening

When she opened her eyes she found herself lying in a chair. But it wasn't just any chair; it was that chair. If that wasn't enough to make her heart race anxiously, she quickly noticed what she was wearing. She closed her eyes to take in a steady breath. Slowly she exhaled then opened her eyes again.

"Who was using my body?" she demanded.

"Dr. Saunders…" She pushed herself out of the chair, tugging off the tie as quickly as her fingers could manage.

"I know someone else was here. I would never wear a suit." Claire waited, her eyes focusing on everyone else but Topher. Not that avoiding his gaze was difficult since he was doing the same. "Who was this?" she demanded.

"Clyde Randolf," Adelle responded. "One of the founders of the Rossum corporation." Claire took another steadying breath. She felt like she was breaking apart but she was unwilling to shatter completely.

"I'm going to take a shower," she announced as calmly as possible, "and change back into my clothes. I'll be back." With that she turned and walked out of the imprint room without another word.

She was very eager to get out of the suit. She stepped into the shower, feeling the hot water scald her skin. Claire endured it gratefully. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes and soon she was sobbing, clutching her wet body as it shook. No matter how hot she made the water she couldn't burn out the knowledge that someone else had used her body. It made her feel violated.

But worse than that was the undeniable certainty that she had died. Claire Saunders had been destroyed, however briefly. Someone killed her. The last thing she remembered before waking up in the chair…

Claire got out of the shower and toweled her body dry. She found her clothes, slipping into them and then her lab coat. Clyde's suit felt wrong against her body but these clothes were comfortable. They weren't a mask or even a costume; these clothes were what made her Claire Saunders.

She went back into the imprint room and saw the others waiting for her. They all looked worn out, both physically and emotionally. She must have missed more than she realized when she was… absent.

"Catch me up on what's been going on," she requested to no one in particular.

"We attacked Rossum head-on," Echo answered. "We destroyed its headquarters along with a lot of the tech." Claire nodded, knowing how big of a blow that must have been. But she also knew this wasn't going to be the end. There were twenty other Dollhouses still functioning, two in the United States.

Echo said they had cut the head off the snake, but Claire suspected it was more like cutting a head off the hydra: there were many heads, and cutting one off did nothing. Deep down the others probably knew that. Still, she was impressed Adelle would stand up to Rossum like that.

"If Mr. Randolf is anything like Mr. Ambrose, he has already imprinted himself in a new body," Adelle mentioned. "All the Dollhouses will know what happened in Tuscon."

"But then he'll come after us," Ballard said with a frown. "All of that was for nothing. Mellie-" His voice caught in his throat. "Mellie died protecting me. I can't let that be meaningless."

"Then we'd best come up with a plan," Adelle decided. "Mr. Ballard, perhaps you'd like to assist me." Ballard nodded numbly and followed her out of the room. The three Actives seemed so different to Claire now that they were all self-aware. Victor and Sierra were now Anthony and Priya. Claire could see the spark between them that somehow carried over from their Doll state.

Perhaps there was something in every Active that made them fight for their individuality

Claire decided to walk the length of the Dollhouse. She never saw the place so empty before. There was always something going on here: an engagement coming to a close, an imprint being uploaded, Actives wandering the halls… Now all was quiet. This place was like a shell of itself now, a true blank slate.

She found herself in the art room. When she was a doctor she never bothered to come here. The place made her feel slightly uneasy. Claire explored until she found where they kept the bonsai trees. Each one was labeled with an Active's name. She looked but she couldn't see Whiskey's bonsai tree anywhere.

"Ahh, Dr. Saunders?" She twitched before turning to face Topher. He stood nervous and frazzled as ever. "Is the, ah…" He paused, seemingly unwilling to use the word "imprint". Claire waited, knowing he would always find a way of expressing himself even if the words were childish. "Is everything okay?" he finally asked.

"You're wondering if the imprint is intact," she clarified. Topher responded with a sheepish shrug of his shoulders. "I never knew you to doubt your programming skills, Topher," Claire noted.

"Don't!" he snapped. He looked angry, but then his face crumbled. Claire never saw him like this before, either. He looked defeated.

"Topher? Where's Boyd?" His eyes widened in surprise. "It was him," Claire continued as steadily as she could manage. "The last thing I remember before waking up in the chair is Boyd. He tazered me." It still hurt her to think about and Claire had to close her eyes to gather herself together. "So what happened to him?"

"He, ah…" Topher cringed a bit, which told Claire he'd been anticipating this question. "He's… gone." Claire arched an eyebrow. Topher wrung his hands nervously. "He's dead. We had to!" he insisted before Claire could say anything. "He turned out to be one of the founders of Rossum! He betrayed us!"

Boyd was dead. Claire stood silent letting the knowledge sink in. It was painful, but not like the pain of knowing what he did to her. She looked into Topher's eyes and saw the pain there. Pain and guilt were two emotions Claire never expected to see on Topher's face, yet he wore them both now. He'd changed and he was struggling with it.

"I suppose it's only fair," Claire murmured quietly. "I killed the woman you loved, so you killed the man I loved."

"I…" Topher's eyes flickered away from her stare. "It wasn't like that. I had to, Claire." Claire's heart gave a funny jump in her chest, her breath pausing in her lungs.

"You called me Claire. You've never called me that before." Once again she rendered Topher silent. Usually this was when Claire would dig into open wounds. Not this time. "Adelle says that I was imprinted with another personality," she mentioned to change the subject.

"Yeah," Topher agreed, "that's right."

"Which means you put me back. Maybe it was by Adelle's orders, but you were still the one behind the chair. You could have imprinted me with the original one you built, but you didn't." Claire paced the floor, pausing in front of a work fingers brushed over the wood thoughtfully. "You put me back with all my memories and knowledge."

"Of course I did!" Topher finally met her gaze, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I told you before: you're not just an imprint. You're a person! You've evolved beyond your programming. If I put back the original Saunders imprint, all that evolution would've been lost. You wouldn't be you anymore."

"And being 'me' is important to you?" Claire asked him.

"It is." Claire was at a loss for words, and eventually walked out of the room.

She didn't think she would ever understand that man. But she was alive, and it was because of him.