The ride to Sesshoumaru's apartment was fairly quiet and subdued. Kagome wrung her hands, too nervous and too weirded-out by Sesshoumaru driving a car. She's sobered up by now and was almost miserable in her stupidity. Inwardly focused insults crowded her brain. Paying little attention to the surroundings, Kagome examined her hands instead-picked cuticles, old callouses from firing arrows repeatedly, scars from cuts... She—
"We're here."
"Oh." She looked up at his building as he pulled into the underground parking. "Um... Thanks. For letting me stay at your apartment. I know it's probably kind of an intrusion to your privacy..." To her surprise, he chuckled.
"It's fine, Kagome. We've known each other a long time. And it will be nice to have company to tell the truth."
He parked and she got out, following him up the stairs to his apartment. 216. As she followed his broad back, Kagome understood. Sesshoumaru was lonely. She was too. Being displaced was hard. Of course, she knew, she wasn't really displaced—and neither was he. But their ties to the feudal era were strong enough that it was hard to move forward.
She took off her shoes by the door and set her purse down next to them, intrigued by Sesshoumaru's apartment. It was, as near as she could tell, tidy. But that was expected. Sesshoumaru ad always seemed fastidious.
Wandering into the living room, the two couches reminded her strongly of the American 80s movement—large patterns and clashing colours. One sat squatly against the wall. The other faced a large TV, a glass coffee table between the two.
"Care for some water?" Sesshoumaru called from the kitchen.
"Ah... No, thank you," she replied, still feeling out of the place and awkward.
"No need to be polite, Kagome. It's fine," he said warmly, coming out of the kitchen with two glasses of water. "Besides, it will help with any hangover."
She nodded and took the glass, following him to the sofa. "So... How long have you lived here...?"
He grabbed the remote, flicking on the TV and shrugged. "A few years."
Looking around, Kagome noted that it was still rather spartan.
"I know. I move around, so I don't use or have a lot of personal belongings."
He almost sounded sad.
"I keep more important big things in storage. Take a seat." He patted the couch next to him.
Kagome sat. Holding the glass of water with both hands, she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her legs. The TV murmured and flashed in her peripheral vision as she studied Sesshoumaru. Katie would be so jealous. She giggled at the sudden intruding thought.
"What's funny?"
"You know Katie? The energetic blonde who's taken probably every class you've taught?"
"Yes. Friend of yours, isn't she?"
"Not by choice. Though I do like her."
"Yes, what about her?"
"She's obsessed with you. In love with you. Thinks you're gorgeous."
"I know," he replied dryly. "She thinks I don't notice."
Kagome laughed. "If you flash her a smile, I'm sure it would make her life. She's sweet though."
"She is, and she's a good student."
They fell into silence, Kagome's attention diverting to the Lord of the Rings on the TV. It was still weird. Sesshoumaru with a sense of humour. Sesshoumaru being friendly. Sesshoumaru seeming to enjoy her company. Sesshoumaru watching Lord of the Rings.
"So... Do you still look like you?" She blurted idly, eyes still on the screen. She could see him blink at her out of the corner of her eye.
"What do you mean?"
She met his eyes. "Do you still look like Sesshoumaru or is this new 'Professor Inukami' look permanent?"
There was another pregnant pause before he gave her a patient smile. "The change isn't permanent. It's just an enchantment."
"Show me," Kagome demanded, feeling mean. His eyes stared at her, looking for something. Then he shrugged and was pulling a necklace over his head. The honey-brown eyes regained their golden brilliance, his platinum blonde hair now shimmering to silver by the light of the TV. His tell-tale markings ghosted onto his skin, nails lengthening.
Kagome smiled, the alcohol probably still in her system, she mused, as she said, "Much better. The other form was weirding me out."
In presponse, Sesshoumaru gave her a feral predatorial grin.
And Kagome felt struck. She dropped her eyes.
"Something wrong?"
She shook her head, forcing air into her lungs. "No. No, I'm fine. I... should probably get to sleep. It's late, and I'm still drunk, and I should sleep before I say or do anything stupid..."
He chuckled. "Like what?"
If she didn't look at him directly, she could see Inu Yasha next to her—only Sesshoumaru was taller and more slender, she reminded herself. Sesshoumaru's hair was finer than Inu Yasha's. Sesshoumaru's lips were fuller than Inu Yasha's.
"Like what?" he asked again.
Kagome leaned in towards him, her hand stretching out to brush his hair. Her heart beating loudly in her chest, Kagome felt herself drawn forward despite wanting to pull back. From his eyes, Kagome's gaze dropped to his lips.
"Like what?" His voice was husky now.
Her lips very close to his, Kagome once again met his eyes, asking permission. Sesshoumaru was still, calm. She held herself there. "This... This is very...stupid..." she breathed. She began to move back slowly but instead found her lips pressed tightly against Sesshoumaru's, his large hand, warm, tangled in the back of her hair. Kagome planted her hands on his shoulders, fully intent on pushing away, but she found herself gripping them tightly as his tongue poked at the corner of her mouth.
Kagome gasped and pulled away, the spell broken. Sesshoumaru let her go, and she scrambled to the opposite end of the couch, blushing furiously. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm...sorry. That was—sorry..." she mumbled. "I shouldn't have... I'm sorry. I—"
"Kagome."
She met his hungry eyes, shock jolting through her. "I...bathroom!" She fled.
He wanted her?! This certainly made things awkward. She took a deep breath, stopping her panic to wash her face with cold water. Then she examined Sesshoumaru's bathroom. It was, again, tidy and organised. The toilet seat was, however, up. She sighed. The best decision, Kagome decided was to go back out and pretend all was normal.
"Ah..." She prefaced when back in the room with him. "Sorry." What else was there to say? Her freak-out was random and unnatural.
He met her gaze, still lounging on the sofa. "No need to apologise. We can..." His smile was enigmatic. "Move on."
"Yes," Kagome expelled, grateful for the easy out. "I should probably get some sleep. I'm pretty tired... Do you have a blanket I can borrow?"
Rising with perfect predatorial grace, Sesshoumaru nodded and disappeared behind a closed door and returned with a pillow and a giant, puffy red blanket. "This should keep you warm."
She nodded. She'd suffocate and get lost in it. "Thank you." Kagome set the things down on the couch, standing around, waiting for Sesshoumaru to leave.
"Well. Good night..."
"Good night!" Kagome chirped. She watched him disappear back behind the door she assumed was his bedroom, and then she shuffled into the bathroom, rinsing her mouth. Kagome wondered idly if this wasn't all just a wild mistake. Sesshoumaru was the other brother. She suddenly felt like she'd betrayed Inu Yasha. Guilt flooded her, her own eyes staring at her accusingly in the mirror. Kagome looked away, brushing her fingers through her hair.
Opening the door, she flipped off the light and wandered back towards the couch. She paused in front of Sesshoumaru's door, raising a hand to knock. Her hand never made it. So she leaned towards the door to call softly, "Good night, Sesshoumaru!" Waiting for a response, she turned away when there was none.
Kagome plopped onto the couch and unfurled the blanket over her before plumping the pillow behind her. She sighed and laid down, starting when the door open.
"Good night, Kagome," Sesshoumaru's voice called.
"Good night, Sesshoumaru!" She returned eagerly.
The door clicked shut again and Kagome settled back into the couch. She stared at the ceiling, mind humming, with thoughts of Sesshoumaru, Inu Yasha, and the past.
The ride back to his apartment was longer than usual. At least, it seemed that way. Kagome's heartbeat was loud in his ears, and her hand-wringing continuously drew his eyes. He kept glancing at her—her profile, her hands, the way she chewed with nervous intent on her lip. He tried not to grip the steering wheel too tightly, keeping careful control of the car.
"We're here," he murmured, but she jumped anyway.
"Oh."
He pulled into the parking lot.
"Um... Thanks. For letting me stay at your apartment. I know it's probably kind of an intrusion to your privacy..."
A grin tugged at his lips, and a chuckle bubbled up. The girl was so nervous... He saw her look over, surprise written there clearly, despite the dim light. "It's fine, Kagome. We've known each other a long time. And it will be nice to have company to tell the truth." He switched the car off and got out, waiting for Kagome before locking the car and heading upstairs to his apartment. Pushing the door open after unlocking it, Sesshoumaru smiled to himself. He was honestly glad to have the company. Almost giddy at the prospect of having company. Letting Kagome take off her shoe sand set her bag down, he moved to his bedroom door to shut it before she could see the whirlwind pigsty within.
Fortunately, she was too distracted by the rest of his apartment to notice; he sighed. So he watched her as she moved daintily through the space, as if afraid to upset anything. Sesshoumaru folded his arms and leaned against the corner of the wall looking into the open living room and joined kitchen. "Care for some water?"
"Ah... No, thank you," she replied stiffly.
He hid his smile again. "No need to be polite, Kagome. It's fine." He filled two glasses anyway and came out to her. "Besides, it will help with any hangover"
She nodded and accepted the glass, and then followed him to the couches. "So... How long have you lived here?"
Sitting, Sesshoumaru leaned forward to grab the remote. Flicking on the TV, he shrugged, hoping she would relax. "A few years." Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, he noted her looking around. Sesshoumaru almost felt ashamed of how bare his apartment was. "I know," he explained. "I...move around, so I don't use or have a lot of personal belongings... I keep more important big things in storage. Take a seat." The girl had nervousness coming off her in waves. He patted the couch next to him, again hoping she would relax if just to reduce the smell. It soured her normally pleasant scent. She still wasn't used to his modern self. He almost laughed. They really weren't so different, he had come to realise. She was not used to seeing him in this setting—modern surroundings, modern clothes, driving cars, teaching college students... As for her... She brought back everything he'd acclimated away from and left behind. While she wanted to go back to that time, he'd become comfortable. But with her sudden presence, she'd brought back the yearning for the way things had been. 'The good old days,' he thought decadently.
She was watching him still.
"What's funny?" He asked when she giggled.
"You know Katie?" She asked, a saucy little grin curving her lips. "The energetic blonde who's probably taken every class you've taught?"
"Yes. Friend of yours, isn't she?" The girl only oggled him obsessively. He'd hardly be surprised if she wrote his name in hearts.
"Not by choice. Though I do like her," Kagome groused.
"Yes, what about her?" He did notice that Kagome had showed up later on the roster with Katy.
"She's obsessed with you. In love with you. Thinks you're gorgeous."
"I know..." Sesshoumaru drawled. Kami, did he know. "She thinks I don't notice."
The girl laughed, a warm sound. "If you flash her a smile, I'm sure it would make her life. She's sweet though."
"She is. And she's a good student."
Then there was silence. Two old souls sitting together. With Lord of the Rings in the background. Though less obvious, Kagome still wore time's mantle heavily around her shoulders. She—
"Do you still look like you?" She appeared engrossed in the movie.
He blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Do you still look like Sesshoumaru?" She met his eyes. "Or is this new 'Professor Inukami' look permanent?"
Oh. He sighed inwardly. Was that all this was about? "The change isn't permanent. It's just an enchantment."
"Show me."
His brow furrowed, her blue eyes boring into him. The silence stretched between him and her blunt request. Would he? Her order wasn't out of malice. Another person hadn't seen the real him in so long. He savoured the feeling of a secret about to be revealed and then shrugged. Sesshoumaru watched her expression soften and change as he pulled the necklace off. A smile warmed her face as she said, "Much better. The other form was weirding me out."
He grinned. Kindred spirits. That's what they were. "Something wrong?" He asked when her gaze dropped. She seemed upset.
Kagome took a deep breath. "No. No, I'm fin. I... should probably get to sleep. It's late, and I'm still drunk, and I should sleep before I say or do anything stupid." She was uneasy again.
He chuckled. As if he hadn't seen her do that before. "Like what?" He couldn't count the times he'd seen her trip, fall, and mess up. He waited while she sat, silent. "Like what?" he asked again after a couple minutes.
But he didn't expect her to lean towards him, touch his hair. Her heart pounded along with his in his ears while he waited still, licking his lips, suddenly self-conscious when her gaze fell there. "Like what?" He demanded again, surprised by the lust in his voice. By now her lips were very close to his. Sesshoumaru didn't move a muscle. Didn't know if she should push the girl away or let her. Her eyes flicked to his, asking. He didn't dare move. He hardly breathed. He couldn't move. And neither did she.
"This..." She whispered, her breath caressing his lips, making him wonder what it would be like to kiss her. "This is very...stupid..." She started to pull away.
And he realised he couldn't let her. Tangling fingers in her silky hair, he pulled her lips to his, kissing her. Her small hands planted themselves on his shoulders, slowly beginning to curl shut. He slid his tongue to the corner of her lips as her grip approached painful, but she gasped and pulled away, leaving Sesshoumaru with a brief stunned empty feeling.
Her face rosy and flushed, Sesshoumaru focused in on her as she babbled. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm... sorry. That was—sorry... I shouldn't have... I'm sorry. I—"
"Kagome," he interrupted her stream of nervous words. It was his fault. If one were to lay blame. Though it was hard to do that when he was nearly certain both parties had enjoyed the act.
When she met his eyes she went stock still and then blurted, "I—bathroom!" And fled.
Sesshoumaru sighed, caressing his temples, cursing his stupidity. Of all the girls... Kagome was the most dangerous. Or was she the safest? She knew him. She knew his 'secret.' But she had been his brother's, for all intents and purposes, girlfriend. Somehow, that felt like cheating. But Inu Yasha was gone. Long gone. And Kagome, unattached. He cursed to himself. This was going to get very complicated very quickly.
"Ah...sorry," she said again when out of the bathroom.
She was older. Much more of a woman now... He looked up at her still-flushed face. "No need to apologise." I enjoyed it. "We can..." Continue at a later date? When you're ready? A smile teased his lips upwards. Dangerous and cheating or not... "Move on." He'd see where the fates lead him.
"Yes," she breathed. "I should probably get some sleep. I'm pretty tired. Do you have a blanket I can borrow?"
Of course... He moved off the couch and slipped into his room. Kami, it was such a mess. Blanket... His gaze fell to his bed. He only had the one... Tearing the red thing off his bed, he balled it up in his arms and grabbed the other pillow from his queen-sized bed and returned to the girl. "This should keep you warm."
"Thank you," she nodded. Kagome dropped them onto the couch and then stood awkwardly while they stared at each other.
"Well,"he finally settled for saying. "Good night."
"Good night," she echoed eagerly. She wanted him to leave her.
So he turned and went to his room, dropping his tie amongst a pile of other ties and then stripped down to boxers. He heard her move around in the bathroom while he tried to tidy up some parts of his bedroom. He paused when he heard her exit the washroom and her footsteps stopped outside his door. And waited.
"Goodnight, Sesshoumaru!" Her voice came softly through the door.
Before he could decide to say anything, she padded away. He should. After a minute of mental wrestling, he opened the door and called, "Good night, Kagome!"
"Goodnight, Sesshoumaru!" She returned almost immediately.
He closed the door and slipped under the sheep, hoping for pleasant dreams as he fell asleep.