Note: I don't own P.S. I Love You. Since it's kind of integral to this chapter, here's a little short (hopefully spoiler-free) synopsis in case you haven't seen it or haven't seen it in a while and need a refresher. Holly and Gerry are married, but Gerry dies a short while later, leaving a devastated Holly. But he does leave her letters and tokens that will come to her in a variety of ways. He's planned them out ahead of time so they'll get to her on important days and stuff like that. One of the things that he planned is a trip to Ireland for her and her two girl-friends. So they go. Holly runs into a guy that she likes there, William. It turns out that William was a good friend of Gerry. Though she doesn't learn this until after she sleeps with him. And then I won't spoil the ending in case you want to (which you should) watch it. I highly recommend it!
When Kagome opened the door, Katy was standing there armed to the teeth with cosmetic items. "Oh geeze. Why did I agree to this," Kagome moaned, but nevertheless, stepping aside to let her friend in.
"Time to get down to business—is that what you're wearing?"
Kagome looked down at her outfit. Shorts and a t-shirt. "This isn't 'skimpy' enough?"
Katy snorted. "No." She bee-lined to Kagome's drawers and rifled through her clothing until she found a cute cami and tossed it to the other girl. "Put that on."
"I only wear this under something..."
Katy's grin was positively evil. "Which is why it's 'skimpy' when you don't."
"Turn around," Kagome grumbled as she slipped the t-shirt off and pulled the camisole over her head. "I feel naked..."
"Good! Now. Make-up. Go ahead and take a seat on your bed," Katy ordered, pulling over her desk chair and plopping herself onto it. "You just stay quiet and let me do all the work."
Kagome sighed and closed her eyes, playing the willing doll to Katy's ministrations. This gave her ample time to recollect her thoughts. She'd spent a lot of time reflecting on the nature of her relationship with Sesshoumaru. Sitting in class, she found she spent more time memorising his new face and the new softness and kindness she found there. Of course, having lived with and among humans for the past five hundred or so years, he would be changed. His eyes were no longer so cold or disdainful. And when he looked at her sometimes, she could plainly see the affection there. But it wasn't love. Katy's prediction that the former demon lord loved her had to be false. Just because they shared a past didn't automatically mean that Sesshoumaru could, or should, love her.
"Kagome. Stop scowling."
"Sorry..." And even if she did love Sesshoumaru—which! She wasn't sure that she did at this point, the idea of being in love was frequently a lot more exciting than the actual process, as Kagome had discovered the hard way. Inu Yasha's face flashed in her mind, making her feel guilty. Love was... love was easy to forge, sometimes easy to maintain, but once true understanding set in, it was harder to maintain that love and keep it strong. Flaws sometimes got in the way of love, as well as baggage. Sesshoumaru and Kagome both had plenty of baggage. But perhaps... perhaps because they shared part of that baggage already, it wouldn't be so hard. There was the possibility of a relationship, but Kagome wasn't sure that she wanted it. Even if she didn't, if she did find a man to marry, how would he believe her? How would her past sound to him? The rantings of a crazy woman? How easily he would be driven away. Sesshoumaru wouldn't?
"Done! And stop sighing like an old woman!"
But then again, Kagome opened her eyes, it sounded like she was just settling for Sesshoumaru. "Thanks." And he deserved more than a woman to "settle" for him.
"Go look in the mirror and run a brush through your hair. It looks cute how it is. Though you could ruffle your hands through it to give it a bit of a messier look."
Kagome obeyed without thinking, hardly recognising herself in the mirror. "My goodness. What did you do?"
"You don't like it?" Katy hurried to her side.
"No... it's not that... I look... wow."
Smiling smugly, her friend through an arm around her shoulders. "That's because, my lovely, you don't realise your own potential! You're really pretty!"
She blushed. "Thanks..."
"Say... Are you good at playing coy?"
"Coy?"
"Yeah... You know, kinda sexy and shy without seeming too whorish?"
Kagome blinked at her. How could you be all of these things at the same time?
"Right. Just stick with what I told you, yeah? Need a refresher? The lip-bite thing, small touches?"
Kagome nodded, nervousness suddenly flaring up in her stomach. "Y-yeah..."
"Don't be nervous. Just make it natural, right?" Katy lifted a hand and touched her shoulder. She laughed at the weird look Kagome gave her. "Like that, see?"
"O-oh. Okay..." She jumped suddenly when her phone went off. "Oh! Hello? Sesshoumaru! Hi! You're here? Oh! Okay, so sorry! I'll be down in just a moment! See you soon!" Dropping the phone in her purse, Kagome rushed around, slipping some shoes on, Katy grabbing her wrist.
"Ah-ah. Not your flip-flops; wear these." She handed her a pair of low heels. "They'll show off your great legs!"
Kagome blushed again. "Great legs... He's seen enough of those," she muttered.
"What!"
"Never mind! I have to go!"
"You're off to a great start!" Katy gave her a thumbs up.
"That means you have to leave my room so I can lock the door!"
"Oh! Right! Sorry!" The girl followed her out and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck!"
"Wha—!"
Katy laughed. "Just to give you a light blush when you see him tonight!"
Kagome threw up a hand and then sped downstairs and out of the building to Sesshoumaru's waiting car. "Hi! So sorry I made you wait—my friend, Katy..."
Sesshoumaru's warm smile and smooth laugh greeted her. "Don't worry about it, Kagome. I've only been waiting less than a minute."
Sighing in relief, Kagome relaxed into the seat, perching her bag between her knees on the seat to buckle herself in. "So um..." Kagome began at the same time as Sesshoumaru. She laughed, blushing. God, why was this so awkward? It's not like they hadn't done it before? And why did that suddenly carry more than one meaning? She shifted her attention to the man in the car. "Go ahead!"
"You look nice," he offered.
"Ah, thanks..." She searched for an excuse for her clothing. "It was... hot... in the dorms," she finished lamely.
A small smile quirked his lips.
"So did you pick a movie?"
"I did..."
"Which one?" Kagome asked, hating having to ask more questions to get to an answer.
Sesshoumaru merely smiled at her, the secret bringing joy to his eyes. "Not. Telling."
Kagome narrowed her eyes, reassessing this man. Did she really know him then? Lifting her chin, she folded her arms. "Fine." His low chuckle reached her ears, but Kagome knew she wouldn't win. So she settled for being silent. So much for Katy's theory. No scary movie.
But then, a small voice countered, what if he knows that you wouldn't be scared by scary movies? And that it would be embarrassing for you to cling to him?
Shaking her head, Kagome sighed.
"Something on your mind?"
"No." She looked over at him. "Yes. But not that you can help with."
"Mm. I know the feeling."
There was silence again, but, thankfully, it didn't last long as they arrived at Sesshoumaru's apartment complex.
"Why do you live in places like this?" Kagome asked as they headed up the stairs to his place.
"Beg pardon?"
"You know. I'm sure you have a lot of money stored up and stuff, right?" Wow, that was rude. She blinked. "Wow. Sorry! That was rude of me. I was just curious..."
"I know," Sesshoumaru replied mildly, fitting his key into the lock. "It's secure, and affordable on a professor's salary. That's why."
That still didn't make much sense.
"Besides," he stood aside to let her in "I can't very well live in a mansion and not attract attention."
You always attract attention... "Do you have houses all over the world?"
"Mm, no. Just one or two."
"In Japan?" She took off her shoes and set her bag on the kitchen table before pulling out two beers from his refrigerator.
"One in Japan," he murmured, pulling a DVD out of his briefcase and walking into the main area to set it up on the TV.
"And the other?" Little touches. Kagome paused, choosing to walk in front of him to sit on the couch instead of around. Setting the beers on coasters on the table, she hesitated and let her fingers brush his knee on the way back to her lap. His face showed no change.
"Quite a curious cat you are," he evaded, amusement laced into his voice.
"Sorry, am I prying?" She turned a bright smile on him in hopes of making him talk. To her surprise, it worked.
"No, you're fine. My other place is in Canada."
"Canada?"
"Yes. No one asks questions and there is a lot of space with big animals."
Dawning bloomed. "Aaah. I understand."
His smile was kind and warm. "Yes. It's convenient and comfortable. Shall we start the movie?"
"What are we watching? Will you answer me now?" Kagome leaned forward, perching her hands on his knee. This seemed to make him pause, but only for a moment. A smile crossed his lips.
"We're watching P.S. I Love You."
"O-oh." Kagome leaned back, her cheeks flushing. A hidden message? She bit down on her lip, cursing Katy for bringing her attention to the nervous habit. In the past week, Kagome had counted over 100 times that she had done it. And that didn't count the times that she hadn't noticed—she'd started counting on Monday.
"Have you seen it before?"
Kagome shook her head. "Have you?"
"I haven't. One of my co-workers had said it was a good movie to watch."
"Mm. Well." She picked up the remote from his hand, allowing their skin to touch, smiling in what she assumed was a coquettish manner and pressed play. "Let's get started yes?"
"Of course." He lifted his beer to his lips, eyeing her as he took a sip.
Kagome bit her lip to keep from smiling. Was this working?
"What are you doing?" Kagome exclaimed, grabbing Sesshoumaru's arm in distress.
His brow furrowed and eyes wide, Sesshoumaru's mouth moved like it was going to say something, but no words came out.
"Why are we pausing?"
"B-bathroom...?" He stuttered, appearing shell-shocked.
"O-oh..." Kagome's face flamed up. "S-sorry... I... I was just... so involved." She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Go ahead!"
His face, still wearing a shocked expression, disappeared down the hall to the bathroom. Kagome waited until she heard the door click shut before hunching over, dropping her face into her hands, and crying. Why did he pick this one! This was horrible! Stop crying! She had to stop crying! This was horribly embarrassing and awful to be crying in front of him like this. Her make-up was probably destroyed. She grabbed another tissue. Lifting her head, Kagome blew her nose and wiped away the smeared make-up. This wouldn't do at all. What a horribly sad movie! But... it was charming and hilarious as well... She had never found herself laughing and crying so hard alternately during a film. A deep breath steadied her even while the tears still flooded her eyes. Maybe because it reminded her so much of her relationship with Inu Yasha. He was gone, but things still reminded her of him every day. He hadn't left her any messages like Gerry had for Holly.
"Kagome?"
Her head snapped up at the sound of Sesshoumaru's voice. She opened her mouth to say something, but her words and excuses froze before leaving her lips. He wasn't unaffected by the movie either. Had he cried? Her heart jumped in her chest. Sesshoumaru, crying! Her mouth felt dry. "Sess..." She quickly filled her mouth with the bottle of beer to stop herself from saying anything stupid.
He gave a little laugh and then sat down on the couch next to her. Taking the bottle from her hands, he placed it on the table and took her hands in his own. "Do you want to stop watching this one?"
"NO! I mean... No, no, we have to finish it! I have to see how it ends!" Kagome curled her hands around what they could reach of his, gripping tightly. "Are you ready?"
The smile lied. She was sure of it. "Yes. Of course. I'll play and then get another beer, if that's fine."
"You'll miss it!"
"I can still see from the kitchen." Then his warmth was gone and the movie was playing.
Kagome was quickly sucked into the emotional roller coaster, waiting with bated breath to see how everything would be resolved with Gerry, Holly, and William. When Sesshoumaru finally returned, she snagged his hand, holding onto it tightly until the end of the film, only letting go to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
As the end credits began to roll, Kagome let out a deep breath, feeling like she had finally been wrung dry.
"What did you think?" Sesshoumaru asked, his voice mild and soft, wafting into her thoughts unobtrusively.
"Oh, it was wonderful..."
"Wonderful? Despite the fact that you were crying the whole time and squeezing my hand?"
"Oh no! I'm so sorry!" Kagome almost flung his hand away, hesitantly patting it as if to smooth away the red imprint from her hand.
Sesshoumaru laughed instead. "I don't understand, but I'm glad you liked it." He smiled at her as if thinking and then stretched out his hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
Kagome blushed. "It was so good, but also so sad. But it was definitely worth watching. It was a good choice."
The inuyoukai looked pleased, leaning in towards her. "Thank you. I hadn't realised that it would be so emotional."
Close, so close. He was so close. "Yes... It was that..." Close close closeclosecloseclose...!
"I didn't mean to make you cry so much..." His lips fluttered against hers. "I really can't take it, you know..."
Frozen by shock and emotional overload, Kagome waited for the alluring man to make his next move. When it seemed to take aeons for his lips to close over hers, she could take it no longer and closed the remaining centimetres of her own volition. She watched as his eyes widened with shock, but didn't have enough brain power to formulate the next thoughts because Sesshoumaru had snaked a hand around the back of her head, his other arm curling around her, pulling her lips tighter against his.
And then she needed to breathe. Kagome pulled back from his kiss, lifting her eyes to meet his warm golden ones. Oh had he changed... She took a deep breath, not breaking eye-contact and then, before his eyes could ask the question, lifted a hand to his cheek, tracing the markings before leaning in for a short chaste kiss.
The smile that spread across his lips was breath-taking, just as the deep chuckle gave her chills that weren't from being cold.
"Kagome..."
Her heart beat fast. She closed her eyes. Leaned against his chest. She smiled. His was beating fast too.
Lying awake as the small clock in the front hall chimed 3:45, Sesshoumaru wished, not for the first time, a confidant. Anyone. Well. Not anyone. Kagome was his greatest confidant, but with this problem, she was, unfortunately, the last person that he could consult. He sighed for seemingly the hundredth time. And then rolled over. Again. Muttering a curse that there would be no sleep this night, he got up and padded to the balcony, sliding the door open. The night air held just a bit of chill to it, but Sesshoumaru welcomed it. He looked at the sleeping city, breathing out thoughts of self-preservation. In the end, they did not weigh out over the sudden wander-lust. So he leapt off the rail of the balcony on to the roof of the neighbouring building. Stretching his legs, he let the adrenaline fuel his speed as he leapt across the buildings towards the surrounding farm land and corn fields. There was no use in tempting the fates, so he sped through the tall stalks that were nearing their harvest time, bare feet light against the damp earth. When he reached the edges of the campus farm-land, Sesshoumaru stopped, not even breathing heavily. Light lit the east horizon, so he sat and waited for the first signs of the dawn to rise, desperately wishing for his brother's crass but piercing advice. In his old age, Inu Yasha had gained quite a bit of wisdom. Despite the fact that he would never have admitted it, Sesshoumaru had valued that wisdom, coming to appreciate his brother's worth and insight.
The sun poked it's head over the tips of the tasselled corn and Sesshoumaru deemed it time to return to his apartment before he would be noticed by the neighbours.
He showered upon returning and was finally allowed sleep by his subconscious.
Sleep was neither restful nor easy as old memories of his brother and the girl haunted his memories. But by the time Monday morning arrived, Sesshoumaru was rested enough that he stumbled into the office.
In the middle of a paper, he set it down, looking over at one of his female co-workers. "Carol."
The woman looked up in surprise. "Professor Inukami?"
"I..." He frowned. He needed a movie for this coming Friday. "What is a good movie that you would suggest watching with a female acquaintance." Acquaintance? Was that what Kagome was? He frowned, completely missing Carol's answer. Putting on a warm smile, he tried again. "Sorry. I spaced out a moment. What was your suggestion?"
The woman blushed and laughed. "You must really be out of it. Tired?"
"Mm. Yes. Long weekend."
"Well, if you're looking for something your female friend would like, there are always the classic chick-flicks like The Notebook, Dirty Dancing, Mona Lisa Smile, Moulin Rouge, Love Actually... Um. One of my favourites that I just rewatched recently is P.S. I Love You. That one's really charming. I've yet to meet a woman that hasn't liked it."
Thinking it over quickly, Sesshoumaru nodded. "Okay. Thank you very much for your help."
"Of course! Hope you two have fun!" Carol said with a bright smile that didn't hide her thoughts of what the evening might contain.
Shaking his head, Sesshoumaru returned to his papers, shoving everything into his brief case before he ran off to teach class. The high points of teaching were quickly becoming, much to his regret, seeing Kagome. It was horrible really. Seeing her but not really seeing her, he could only deal with her in a professional professor-student manner. This prevented any and all kind smiles or special treatment. He refused to give her any more leeway in class. She had to earn her grade, just as any of the other students. Katy, he had noticed, did not miss a thing, but continued to stare at him with hearts in her eyes. Instead of open admiration, however, it seemed that she was pouring her energy into the relationship between himself and Kagome. He wasn't sure how much she told the other girl outside of class, but he was sure—what with the notes that she and Kagome passed back and forth, that it was a fair amount. Kagome was always blushing, thinking he didn't noticed. He did.
The week thusly passed, long and torturous, fate waving the girl in front of his face all week long while sending reminders of the past to cut off all roads forward.
The end result was a very frustrated demon. He had visited the forest preserve every night that week, coming home to collapse into his bed, only to rise a weary being the next morning. And do the same all over again.
Thursday afternoon, Sesshoumaru finished his classes and left as soon as possible after a hasty goodbye to his office companions. He had to restock his refrigerator with human-appropriate food, or rather, Kagome-appropriate food. He also had to find the movie somewhere. P.S. I Love You. The school library did not have it in. He had checked yesterday. Calling around, he discovered that the local movie rental place had closed and that one of the copies at the public library was checked out, the other was in for repairs. Scowling as he set down the phone, he resorted to going to the local Walmart and purchasing the darned thing. Luckily, he was able to make it a one-stop shop, picking up the film as well as some of the groceries that he had been out of, as well as ones that Kagome might like. Thinking that he was finished for the afternoon, Sesshoumaru put the groceries away after he arrived home and trudged towards his bedroom to take a nap (hopefully) and then run in the middle of the night. Almost tripping over a pile of clothes, however, he realised that his apartment was quite a mess. While Kagome probably wouldn't comment, Sesshoumaru groaned at the thought of cleaning it. It was only right.
He did leave the photos out to remind himself that he should show them to Kagome and share th stories. She would like that.
Friday finally rolled around and Sesshoumaru found himself relaxing at the thought of seeing Kagome. His car parked in front of Kagome's dorm building, he pulled out his cell, dialing her number.
"Kagome."
"Oh! Hello? Sesshoumaru! Hi!"
"I'm here." Duh. "Out front. When you're ready."
"You're here? Oh! Okay, so sorry!"
"That's fine. I'm a bit early."
"I'll be down in just a moment! I'll see you soon!"
"See you soon." See you soon... He chuckled. The girl was so scatter-brained sometimes. While he waited, Sesshoumaru settled for watching college students walking by. Groups of girls here, couples there, the occasional loaner, the fast-paced walker, the runners... Kagome finally burst out of the building, hurrying down the stairs and over to his car. He was stunned by her outfit. She was a gorgeous young woman. He unlocked the doors just before she reached it and slid into the seat.
"Hi! So sorry I made you wait—my friend, Katy..." She trailed off, no excuses at the ready.
He chuckled. "Don't worry about it, Kagome. I've only been waiting less than a minute." Not quite true, but it wouldn't hurt to let her know that. It had actually been closer to six minutes. Not that he had counted...
The girl sighed back into the seat however, buckling herself. Sesshoumaru waited for the click before merging into traffic and heading to his apartment. Something to say... "So um..." He broke off as Kagome began speaking at the same time.
She laughed and flushed before saying, "Go ahead!"
How embarrassing. "You look nice," he complimented. It was really an understatement. Her cami was low and did a lot to hint and enough to just barely hide. Her jeans clung to her long legs like a second skin and the heels she was wearing only served to make them seem longer.
"Ah, thanks... It was... hot...in the dorms."
He barely restrained himself from laughing. This was obviously the influence of Katy. Kagome would never have gone with this choice on her own. He had to admit that it looked incredible. She was flushed and sexy and positively inviting. And she was obviously lying to cover it. But he didn't mind this time.
"So did you pick a movie?" she was asking.
"I did," he answered simply.
"Which one?" She asked.
"Not telling," he replied with a smile, deciding to tease her for teasing him with such an outfit.
She glared at him, obviously wanting to ask again through pride forbade it. So she seemed to settle for folding her arms across her chest which was nicely uncovered and covered by the cami, not realising how it drew his eye. "Fine."
He laughed to himself, settling into his own thoughts. He would be hard-pressed to not try something tonight. The mood. It would all depend on the mood. He wanted her, Sesshoumaru realised. It wasn't just their link. The girl was the light in his life, the colour, the newness that he had needed. And apparently, no matter how much he tried to escape Japan, it wasn't just going to let him be. He looked over at the girl as she sighed.
"Something on your mind?"
"No. Yes. But not that you can help with."
Ha. "Mm. I know the feeling." Only too painfully.
The silence lasted until they reached his apartment when Kagome broke it with, "Why do you live in places like this?"
"Beg pardon?"
"You know. I'm sure you have a lot of money stored up and stuff, right?"
He stared at her, wondering where this was coming from. There wasn't anything wrong with his apartment.
As if seeing the rudeness of her comment, she blinked. "Wow. Sorry! That was rude of me. I was just curious..."
"I know." And she was. Always curious. He opened the door. "It's secure, and affordable on a professor's salary. That's why. Besides, I can't very well live in a mansion and not attract attention." He stood back to let her in, her natural scent covering him as she walked by.
"Do you have houses all over the world?" Her voice floated back to him.
"Mm, no. Just one or two," he replied as he closed the door and took off his jacket and shoes.
"In Japan?" He heard the bottles in his refrigerator door clink as it was opened.
"One in Japan," he replied slowly, thinking of the estate he had there still. He paid to have it always ready to welcome him home, despite the fact that he hadn't been there in well over a decade. It was on his original lands, but it was only a small area of land, compared to the original acreage that had been under his name. He grabbed the DVD and put it into the VCR and began to set it up.
The miko approached. "And the other?" She walked in front of him, setting the beers on the table, her fingers brushing his knee.
"Quite the curious cat you are," he drawled, wondering again where these questions were coming from.
"Sorry, am I prying?" Her smile was blinding, and he knew that she knew that she was prying. But he gave in.
"No, you're fine. My other place is in Canada." He could almost see the tall tall trees and smell the deep-woods. It was nearing a time for a visit again. Maybe he would do some writing.
"Canada?"
"Yes," he replied as if it should be obvious. "No one asks questions and there is a lot of space with big animals."
He watched comprehension bloom on her face. "Aaah, I understand."
"Yes, it's convenient and comfortable." The house was a large one, all wood. It had been expensive, but it held some of the more dear treasures of his household and it was deep in the wood. He had had to purchase all of the land around the area, but it had been worth it. "Shall we start the movie?"
"What are we watching? Will you answer me now?"
When her hands landed on his knee a second time, realisation dawned on him. She was trying to seduce him. He almost laughed, but held it back at the cost of preserving her vanity. So he pretended not to notice.
"We're watching P.S. I Love You," he murmured, eyeing her.
"O-oh." That seemed to effectively quiet her mouth, but her teeth came down on her lip enticingly as her cheeks flushed.
"Have you seen it before?"
She shook her head and returned the question to him.
"I haven't. One of my co-workers had said it was a good movie to watch." As a couple. Partial truths...
"Mm. Well." Her hand covered his as she gently took the remote from his hand, a sly smile spreading on her face. "Let's get started, yes?"
"Of course," Sesshoumaru agreed quickly, letting her play her game of seduction. He eyed her over the end of his beer bottle, excited to see how the evening would play out. If she wanted this, then he would be more than happy to oblige. Let her play her games...
He was only half watching the film at the beginning. He wasn't too interested in chick-flicks. But the love story between Holly and Gerry surprised him and snagged his full attention. He was quickly as engrossed in the film as Kagome. He laughed out loud alongside Kagome and tried hard not to notice the salty sent of her tears as she cried during the sad parts. Finally, part way through the movie, Sesshoumaru began to feel the uncomfortable prick of something in his eye as well as the suffocating feeling of needing to say something but knowing he shouldn't. Kagome's face was tear-streaked and her make-up seemed to have slid half-way down her face because of the tears. He knew she was thinking of his half-brother. Sesshoumaru couldn't help but think of him as well. Kagome was Holly, Inu Yasha was Gerry. Their happiness had been short-lived but strong. America was Kagome's Ireland, and Sesshoumaru was William, the best friend with whom Holly fell in love. But that didn't mean Kagome loved him. He had to take a break. Leave? No, he wanted to see the rest of the film, but he needed a break. So he grabbed the remote and paused the film.
"What are you doing?" Kagome shouted, her hand shooting out to grab his arm. Her eyes were wide and wild, staring at him like he'd just done something horrendous.
Excuse, he needed an excuse! What to say! His brain had stopped sending words to his brain so his mouth moved with no sound.
"Why are we pausing?"
"B-bathroom..." he managed to utter finally, needing to get out of the room.
"O-oh..." She flushed brightly. "S-sorry... I... I was just... so involved. Go ahead!" She wiped the tears from her cheeks, as if realising they were there.
His body moved back, eyes never leaving Kagome while he stood. As soon as he closed the door to the bathroom, he could hear her crying again. This was a bad idea... The bathroom had been an excuse to leave, but once there, he shrugged and made use of the facilities, giving his hands a good wash and his face a splash with cold water. Before he knew it, his elbows were supporting him as he bent over the sink, hot tears flowing down the drain with the cold water. After several deep breaths, he was okay, but couldn't stop the bitter feelings that fluttered in his heart. This was silly. Would he be a replacement if Kagome did like him? She would never do that on purpose, he knew. But...
He sighed to compose himself and padded back to the main room. Kagome was engrossed in her own emotional breakdown. Tears smelled fresh. "Kagome," he breathed.
She jumped, looking up at him, about to say something, but the words never came. Her eyes roamed his face. Did she notice? "Sess..." But she didn't finish and drank beer instead.
With nothing else to do, he gave a short laugh and sat next to her closer than before. He took her bottle and set it on the table, wrapping his large hands around her small ones. Maybe... "Do you want to stop watching this one?" He would almost feel grateful if she did.
"No!" I mean.. No, no, we have to finish it!" She stared up at him with almost wild eyes. He wouldn't get out of it, it seemed. "Are you ready?"
His smile was so fake there was no way she couldn't notice. "Yes. Of course." He picked up the remote that seemed much heavier than before. "I'll play and then get another beer, if that's fine."
"You'll miss it!"
That was the point. "I can still see from the kitchen." Before she could respond and give another reason, he had pressed play and almost vaulted over the back of the couch. He watched her a moment, but she was already involved in the film. Standing in the kitchen, he could still hear the film, but took the time away to down two beers. He was falling apart. He snorted to himself. This was ridiculous and pathetic. The Great Sesshoumaru, Taiyoukai of the Western Lands, defeated by a modern chick-flick. After he finished his third beer, he grabbed a fourth and headed back to the couch to face his fears.
As soon as he sat, however, Kagome grabbed his hand, squeezing it like it was her only life-line. Maybe she was his as well...
The ending came none-too-soon, and Sesshoumaru was grateful that it was over. Kagome was quietly upset beside him, taking a deep breath as if that would steady her. He waited. "What did you think?" he finally asked.
"Oh, it was wonderful..." Her voice was soft and wistful, sounding well-satisfied.
Sesshoumaru frowned, stopping the DVD player. "Wonderful? Despite the fact that you were crying the whole time and squeezing my hand?"
"Oh no! I'm so sorry!" She dropped his hand like a hot potato, but then patted it. He understood the gesture, and while he was glad to have the circulation back, he missed the warmth. She was smiling though, having genuinely enjoyed the movie.
So he laughed. "I don't understand, but I'm glad you liked it." Silence fell between them briefly, Sesshoumaru's thoughts hinting that this was his moment. Her cheeks were still tear-streaked. Which should be fixed. His hand lifted and he was smoothing away the evidence of her compassion as she blushed.
"It was so good, but also so sad. But it was definitely worth watching. It was a good choice," she murmured, affirming his decision.
"Thank you," he replied, leaning towards her. "I hadn't realised that it would be so emotional." That had been dangerous. Perhaps, however, it would all be worth it?
"Yes... It was that..."
"I didn't mean to make you cry so much..." They were so close. A centimetre more and his lips would be touching hers. He hovered there, that short distance apart, savouring the scent of her and savouring the moment. Would she let him kiss her? "I really can't take it, you know..." He hated the scent of her tears. They left a foul feeling in the bottom of his stomach. He—and then her lips were on his. Enough, Sesshoumaru, less thinking... She made the decision for him.
So he pulled her to him, cradling her head in his hand, her silky hair brushing against his palm. So sweet. Her lips were so sweet, the scent of her excitement and fluttery nerves fuelling him forward. He forced back the low growl so as not to frighten her away.
But then she was pushing him back. Her blue eyes met his, and must have seen something there, because her hand lifted to his cheek, feather-light touches along his markings. He blinked slowly, allowing the sensation to rush through him. Sesshoumaru was surprised when her lips once again landed on his in a short teasing kiss. It was tender and sweet and so utterly Kagome. He blinked again, smiling. There was no way that he was going to let her leave with her purity intact. He chuckled, hungry for more of her touch, more of her kisses, more of her body.
"Kagome..." he purred, delighted to see her shiver and flush while staring at him. He could hear her heart pounding, blood pumping through her veins. His own body responded in kind. Her eyes closed then as her head dipped down against his chest over his heart.