A/N: Okay, so here's the aftermath of the proposal. Hope y'all enjoy it. This is my fic collaboration with leiecullen17 for the TwiFic Gift exchange-our recipient was MrsAc.


SM owns all the Twi stuff, we just put them in uniforms to play dress up.



-EPOV-

I sat on the plane, itching to push back the stray strand of hair that had fallen onto Bella's forehead. I couldn't believe that it was the day after Christmas, and we were already heading home. Our tickets had been booked to stay in Connecticut through New Years, but clearly that wasn't going to happen. I called up the airline and got on a flight easily-after all, I was Edward fucking Cullen.

"Mr. Cullen, do you need anything?" the obnoxiously sweet stewardess asked for the ten billionth time since we'd taken off.

I shook my head brusquely and made the split decision to push aside the offending piece of hair on Bella's cheek. She tensed underneath my touch as my thumb brushed across her warm skin, and I retracted my hand nervously - I had no particular inclination to lose my hand...that would pretty much end my football career. Instead of waking up and pushing me away, though, Bella sighed and grabbed my hand. She pulled in to her lap, gripping it tightly, as the rest of her body relaxed and molded against my shoulder. She looked so at ease and happy; I could have cried again. It seemed I'd been doing a lot of that in the past twenty four hours.

I walked out of Jasper's room with my "game face" on, as Bella had referred to it. I smiled and appeased my mother as she stood waiting in the hallway, telling her that Bella and I weren't breaking up, but we were going to get back to Arizona early to work things out. My mother didn't buy a single word of that.

As Bella scurried off to pack up her things from my room, my mother grabbed my hand, stopping me from following. Without a single word, she led me into her bedroom-a place that I hadn't visited since I'd been a boy. She sat down on her large white chaise lounge and poured herself another cocktail-well, I thought it was for her until she handed it to me. I sniffed at the offending drink, figuring that a glass of bourbon probably wasn't exactly what I needed right now, but my mother wouldn't have any of that.

"Edward Anthony, this is a $40,000 bottle of Macallan whiskey, and you will not offend me by turning it down when you so clearly need it. Now, drink up."

I nodded and took a large sip, marveling at the easy way the whiskey slid down my throat, as my mother retook her perch on her chaise. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed before taking another large sip. She looked up at me expectantly before smiling and patting the cushion beside her. I sat down and relaxed into the plush fabric of the couch, fitting myself against my mother's side comfortably. I took another large sip, finishing off the whiskey before handing the empty glass to my mother. She took the glass and rested it on the liquor table before turning her smile into a tight straight line.

"Talk."

"What is there to say?"

"What happens when you get back to Arizona?" She grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently within hers to let me know that she was being stern, but it was only because she wanted me to do well.

"We talk some more, and we figure it out." I groaned. "I just don't understand her reasoning for saying no." I stopped myself. "Sorry, asking for more time."

"She just wants more time?"

I nodded grimly. "Apparently I sprang this on her out of nowhere, and despite the fact that I could easily pay for her education, she insists on hiding our relationship and paying for school herself with her cheerleading job. It's just...how can she so easily say no when her reasons are so easily fixed?"

"Think about it from her perspective, though. She just wants to be able to pay her own way through school. I've barely known her a few days, and even I know that's something she would be hard pressed to give up. I don't think it has anything to do with her love for you, Edward. That is apparent to everyone. Even your brother said something about it, for God's sake."

I sighed and my mother shifted so I could lay down with my head on her lap. I felt ridiculous. Here I was, a twenty seven year old man, who was being comforted with head pets by his mother, but it had been a rough day...and God damn it, I was okay with that. Suddenly, the dam that I had built broke again as I felt my mother's wedding ring catch and pull at the strands of my hair.

Inhuman-sounding, whiny moans wracked my body as it shuddered under the impact of my sobs. I couldn't remember the last time before today that I'd cried, now here I was on round two. And all because the love of my life decided that she wanted to wait to get engaged. I was truly fucked in the head.

I was awoken by a sudden throbbing in my left hand, and I realized that Bella had been squeezing my hand so tightly that it was now asleep. The plane was already taxing down the runway, approaching the gate. I guessed we were both emotionally wiped out. As I tried to pry Bella's fingers from my own, she suddenly started to stir and awoke with a gasp. She looked down at our still-intertwined hands and mumbled an apology before straightening out her hair, allowing the blood to rush back into my fingertips. It hurt like hell, and I already missed her fingers around mine.

Things with Bella were suddenly awkward, and I had no idea how to proceed. In all the years we'd known one another, we'd never been awkward. We'd been snarky and comfortable and sweet and had enough sexual tension to light up an entire nation, but we'd never been awkward. And I had no idea what to do.

The drive back to my house, where Bella had left her car, was quiet. I turned on the radio, switching whenever a song came on that reminded me of her-which was far too often. We piled out of the car, and we both reached for her suitcase at the same time. Seeing her angry look, I quickly released the bag and relinquished it to her.

"So-" we both began at the same time.

I smiled and let her go first. "No, you." She shook her head and motioned for me to continue. I had no inclination of what to say, but I figured that I couldn't let her go without her knowing how I felt about her rejection reasoning.

I cleared my throat and grabbed her hands, trying to make her understand my side. "Bella, I-I just want to make sure we're okay." She nodded tentatively, so I continued. "Good, because I wanted you to know that I'd pay for your schooling if that's the issue. I just want to be with you."

I didn't know what I'd said, but suddenly her face was filled with rage. She paced over to her car and threw her suitcase in and slammed the door before turning back to me, fuming. "You'd pay for my schooling if that's the issue?" she raged, her voice taking on a mocking quality. Uh oh. This is not good. "Like I'm some fucking whore? Or kept woman? How can you propose marriage to me and not know that I wouldn't be okay with that solution, Edward?"

She pressed her tiny body against mine, finger poking at my chest, while hers raised and fell with the exertion of her anger.

"Not like a whore," I raged back, my patience subsiding quickly. "Like a wife!" Her face dropped and the tension disappeared from her arm, letting it fall to her side. "I mean-" Fuck. I fucked this up badly, didn't I?

"If that's what being your wife entails then I don't want it, Edward." Her voice was cold and her eyes had lost their passion, meaning that I had succeeded in truly pissing her off beyond repair right now. I had no words, nothing to make the pain go away. She turned to get into her car, and I lost it.

"Bella!" I shouted, running over to stop her from getting into her car.

She looked back up at me, and I saw the tears pooling in her eyes. She blinked once, propelling them down her cheeks, and I struggled to fight the urge to wipe them away. "You need to let me have some time." She took in a deep breath and averted her eyes, kicking the asphalt beneath her shoe. "And I don't think we should talk for a while."

"But-" I grabbed her arm, hoping I could work some sense into her.

"Let me go. Right. Now," she spat angrily.

Resigned, I let her go and watched as she got into her car and sped off.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The rest of the week didn't improve much. I attempted being social and going out. The guys on the team were happy to have me back in Arizona; they were thrilled with the prospect of partying with the infamous Edward Cullen. Needless to say, I wasn't quite in the partying mood, but I figured that going out was probably a better idea than hanging out in my empty house, wondering what Bella was doing at that very second.

So, I showered and put on some clean clothes and headed to meet some guys for a few drinks. Emmett was there, and he looked genuinely shocked to see me. I'd forgotten that I hadn't told him I'd returned from my nightmare of a trip.

"Yo, Edward! What'cha doin' back in AZ? Shouldn't you be with your family still?" He jumped up from his seat at the bar and slapped my back. I smiled pathetically in return, and he looked concerned. "Shit, man. What the fuck happened to you?" I nodded in the direction of a table in one of the dark recesses of the bar. He understood my nonverbal communication, holding up one finger to turn around and ask the bartender for a pitcher of Bud and two glasses. My savior.

We trailed back to our own private table, and he filled my glass all the way up to the top, letting the foam trickle down the sides before pushing it towards me. I gulped down half the tall glass before pushing it back for a refill. Emmett did so quickly, and I took a long, slow sip before starting in.

"I think Bella broke up with me."

Emmett started choking mid-sip of his beer. Coughing and sputtering, he looked up at me with confusion. "What? Why? Really? I, uh...why haven't I heard anything?"

"I proposed to her," I whispered into my beer. I looked back up where Emmett was staring at me, as if he were still waiting for me to say something, so I tried a little louder. "I proposed-"

Emmett held up his hand. "Yeah, uh, I heard you the first time, Edward. Are you...she said 'no'?"

I sighed loudly and gulped down the rest of my beer, starting to feel the buzz. I took control and filled up my glass again. "She said, 'not right now,' but then I pissed her off, and I haven't heard from her in days...and, fuck, Emmett. I think I really fucked this up, and I have no idea what to do." I looked at my filled glass and laughed, raising it towards the ceiling. "So, I'm going to drink."

The rest of the night became somewhat of a blur as the rest of the team piled into the bar. I got pretty tanked, and the next thing I knew, Jake was patting me down.

"Twenty-one, what the fuck?" I slurred, stumbling slightly.

"Edward, where are your car keys?" Why did Jake sound sober? I thought everyone was drinking tonight. Where's Emmett?

Jake smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Emmett had to take a phone call, but he's right over there. He wanted me to make sure you don't drive home tonight, so I'm gonna hold onto your car until tomorrow."

My head snapped toward the direction in which Jake had pointed Emmett out, not even processing that he had just told me he was going to be in possession of my baby for the night.

"Yeah...no, he's going home soon...if you and Bella want to come in a bit, he should be gone by then..." Emmett spoke into his phone. All I heard was "Bella," before I was out of my seat, reaching for the phone.

"Jesus, Edward, what the-"

"Bella!" I shouted into the phone, peering into it as if I could see her through the connection. "Bella!"

"No, it's Rose," she said in a clipped tone.

"Rose, I need you to put Bella on the phone, please," I begged, uncaring that the rest of my team was around me and could possibly hear what was going on.

"That's not a good idea, Edward." I heard a muted gasp in the background, and I realized that Bella must have been standing with Rose and heard my name. But she wasn't getting on the phone or making any move toward it. I was utterly crushed. I'd thought maybe she'd want to talk to me if I called first. Apparently not.

"Please, Rose. Pleassseee! I just-I just need to telll her sommmeething, pleaseee."

Rosalie sighed loudy, and I could hear shuffling on the other end of the line. I hoped against all hopes that she was handing the phone to Bella, but I wasn't that lucky...as was per usual recently.

"Edward, she doesn't want to talk to you right now. You're wasted. Is there anything you want me to tell her for you?" Rosalie sounded so sad. Was Bella sad, too? Or had she gotten over me? Had we really broken up? I hadn't really thought we had until tonight, but now I wasn't too sure. I needed to make sure she knew one thing if this was the end. Apparently I was silent for too long because Rosalie started talking again. "Edward? Edward are you still there?"

"What happened? Rose? Is he okay?" I heard my angel's voice call in the background, making my heart pound loudly in my chest.

"I don't know!" Rose's muffled voice respond before talking directly into the speaker again. "Edward, can you hear me? Are you okay?"

"Jusss," I slurred, and I could recognize that I was slurring now, but I was too far gone to care. "Jussst tell Bella I love her, mmkay?"

Rosalie sounded relieved when she said, "Yeah, of course I'll tell her you love her." There was a slight pause before Rosalie continued. "She loves you, too."

My ears perked up. "Really? Did she jusss say that?"

Rosalie chuckled, ignoring my question completely. "Edward, can you put Emmett back on, please?"

I grumbled and shoved the phone back in Emmett's face. He looked surprised, as if he hadn't expected me to give his phone back at all. "Hello?" He started chuckling, too, all the while looking me over. "Yeah, I know, baby. I'm going to give his car keys to Jake right now and follow them home."

I awoke the next morning with a splitting headache, but I vaguely recalled Bella telling me she loved me. Instead of calling to either confirm that love or get my heart stomped on again, I immersed myself in my new netflix account, watching every movie I could get my hands on. By the time New Years Eve rolled around, I had nearly watched everything in the "watch now" category of the service.

Around five PM, I received a text from Emmett.

Happy New Year's. Do you have plans tonight? - Em

I typed up a quick response: Ryan Secreast and a ball dropping. Two things that should never be in the same sentence.

And he has a sense of humor again. Hallelujah. Can I call off the dogs? - Em

Please do. I'll be fine. Have fun tonight. I'm assuming tell Rose and Bella I say hi.

There was a brief silence in which I wondered what I could have possibly said wrong before Emmett wrote me back again.

It's just me and Rose tonight. You should call her. - Em

Instead of replying with my real thoughts, which were, Really? Would she want to? Would she even answer the phone? I copped out.

Happy New Year, Em. See you at practice in two days.

Bored to tears, I decided to make some dinner and watch a few episodes of Criminal Minds. But I got distracted with a particularly gripping episode and burned my dinner. If Bella were here, she would have made fun of my complete inability to make in the kitchen. Thoughts of Bella only made me more upset, so I decided to order in some of my favorite Thai food. Before I knew it, my eyes glanced over to my clock. 11:25 PM, it read. 11:25 on December 31, and I was alone, watching Ryan Seacrest on NBC, waiting in vain for my phone to ring.

11:58 PM, and I still couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone. Instead, I sat staring at the television, always keeping the phone in my peripheral vision. 11:59 PM, still nothing. I rang in the new year with Ryan Seacrest, some pad see ew, and a heavy heart.

At 12:01 AM, my phone rang, and I jumped up, not even bothering to look at the caller ID. "Bella?" I said, far too excitedly.

"Uh, no, man...it's Jasper," the saddened voice on the other line rang out.

"Oh. Sorry, I-"

"It's okay, Edward. I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year. Alice sends her love, too."

"Thanks, Jas. Happy New Year to you, too." We chatted amicably for another three minutes before I gave up all hope of Bella calling and decided to call it a night.

I was so emotionally exhausted that I was asleep before the clock even hit 12:15. I didn't get Bella's text until the next morning.

Happy New Year, Edward, it read. No, "xx, B" that usually accompanied her texts. I didn't even bother to write back. My heart had officially been broken.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

-BPOV-

Christmas had been a beautiful disaster. Everything had begun perfectly. Edward's family had been accepting and warm and made me feel a part of their holiday traditions. And then out of nowhere, Edward proposed.

I hadn't meant to give him an outright 'no,' but he had caught me off guard. The night before he had pinched me when I told his high school sweetheart they we were in a committed relationship. "No," had been the only thing I could manage to say before the tears streamed down my face.

Then, I'd gone to him and tried to explain, but Edward had been so damn stubborn. I could tell that even though he'd heard my reasons, he hadn't listened-all he'd seen was that Id rejected him.

There were hours ahead of me until it would be time to go to the airport, so I did the mature, responsible thing-I hid in Edward's childhood room, away from him and his family. Pacing the room and studying the shelves in his room, I spotted them...yearbooks.

The signature pages at the front were filled, making the page appear more zebra striped then a flat white. Of course Edward was popular. The middle of the annual had a fold out center that showed the student voted winners of categories.

There was a Best Dressed, a Best Looking, Best Eyes, Most likely to Succeed, and a Biggest Flirt. And surprise, surprise the popular vote went to...Edward Cullen. I slammed the book closed and heard laughing behind me.

I turned and was met with the sympathetic, smiling face of Esme.

"You're right, Bella, he was always the popular vote." I hadn't realized I had been venting out loud until then. She picked up the yearbook and leafed through the pages, stopping when she found what she was looking for. Esme turned the book in my direction, and I saw the side by side pictures of Edward and Jasper.

Edward looked happy and smug-as always-and Jasper wore the same uptight, pretentious expression I had seen yesterday. "Not much has changed has it?" I quipped.

"Oh no, so much has changed. They're speaking again and that's huge." She laughed, and then Esme did something I didn't expect; she wrapped me into a warm motherly hug. "Are you doing okay, dear?"

I couldn't believe that after the mess I had made of everything, she was concerned about me. The tears began to sting my eyes as I fought the urge to let them run freely down my face. I nodded into her shoulder. I couldn't bring myself to speak. All I could think about was that I had hurt Edward-her son- and she still cared how I was feeling.

"Listen, Bella," she spoke softly as she pulled me down to sit next to her on the bed. Holding my hands in hers, she started. "Edward has always had everything come to him so easily, and he's never really had to work at anything."

I didn't interrupt her, because I needed to know where she was heading with this. I stared at our clutched hands and let her continue. "He was a natural at football, his schoolwork just came to him, as well as the girls." I looked up then and caught her smiling at memories. "I mean, can you imagine? They used to call the house nonstop or even just show up. It was all a mess."

I smiled at her laughter, imagining just that. The women in Arizona threw themselves at him, found their way to his hotel...and occasionally to his room. He had always turned them away, but still, I knew what she was saying.

"And my Jasper had to work at everything. He's always been so smart-too smart, you could say. He could read and figure things out-equations, problems-pretty much anything, except other people. He had the hardest time understanding why they didn't know the things he did and couldn't relate to them. Edward's popularity only made it that much harder for him."

"Now you, my dear" she patted my leg "you have made him work every step of the way. And I think that's a good thing, and it's probably why he loves you so much."

I stopped her. "Esme, I'm so sorry."

"Bella, you don't need to be sorry." I tried to talk again, but she held up a single finger, telling me to let her finish. "You and Edward...had you ever discussed marriage before?"

"No, we hadn't...not until today that is." My voice cracked, and once again, I pushed the tears away.

"Then, you have no reason to be sorry." She squeezed my hand reassuringly. "I've only talked to you for the past two days, but I know how proud you are of your schooling and that you've done it on your own. You are an independent woman, Bella Swan, and Edward should have thought his proposal through. He's irrational and emotional and didn't think that it would be anything but easy."

"Oh." That was all I could say. She had picked up on things I held highly in two days, where Edward had glossed over them for years.

"I think you should continue to make him work for it," she said, and my head snapped up. I couldn't have heard her right, could I? "Yes, you heard me correctly." Crap, I'd said that out loud.

"I love my sons, both of them-and I expect them to be wonderful husbands one day-but my Edward has to think of what this will bring to you both, not just himself. So, give him time to realize, Bella. Let him understand, and I promise you, he'll prove to be everything you could ever want."

She hugged me again and quietly left the room. Edward was already everything I wanted; I just needed be able to finish what I started.

I rolled over in bed and clung to the blanket wrapped around me tightly.

We had left his parents house in silence and headed to the airport. The plane ride home had started in complete silence, and I gave into the stress of the day and fell asleep.

My dreams had been awful. One second I was holding Edward's hand and the next he's was fading away into nothing. The plane's descent woke me up and propelled me right back into another fit of silence.

My thoughts had been that the strained uncomfortable silence would have given him time to see my reasons behind waiting. Unfortunately, in front of his house, he proved that the silence had only reaffirmed his position. Why not now? Why not let me pay for your schooling and everything? Why not...why not...why not?

He. Still. Didn't. Get. It.

I'd worked hard my whole life to get where I was. Renee was not one of those, "You have to go to college" or, "You have to be successful" touting parents. She was of the "I just want you to be happy" hippie-minded parents.

Studying hard and giving up parties with friends had not been an easy choice for a sixteen year old, but I had made it. I'd graduated near the top of my class, and I'd had enough extra-curriculars to be rewarded a college scholarship. It had covered most of my expenses for an undergrad, but now that I was in grad school and trying to achieve my dream...scholarship levels were not as high.

I had done cheer in high school-one of those extra-curriculars I mentioned-and when I saw that the Cardinal's were recruiting, I tried out for it. I'd been surprised when I had gotten selected-and even more so that I'd found a best friend in Rose and my true love in a cocky, self-centered quarterback named Edward.

Then for three years, we'd had to keep our relationship a secret. In the four years I'd known Edward, I had told him countless times how proud I was to have put myself through college. And how I wanted to practice sports' medicine and would be able to support myself, instead of depend on someone else completely-as Renee had.

I needed to be self sufficient, and he knew that. So how could he act as if his proposal negated everything I had worked for since I was in high school. Suddenly my anger rose and I no longer wanted to hug away his defeat. I needed to follow through on what his mother had told me-make him work for it...make him understand my side of things.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The week following the explosion in front of his house followed the growing trend-silence. Then, after of a few nights of crying and moping about-not to mention sleeping in Rose's bed with her-Emmett called.

I heard her mention Edward's name and ask who was driving him home. My curiosity got the better of me as I listened in. He went out for drinks? He was out partying with the team while I'd been sitting at home, crying over everything?

"That's not a good idea, Edward," Rosalie chided, as if she were speaking to a child, and I realized that she must be talking directly to Edward now. Edward was out with Emmett...drinking. I gasped slightly at the realization, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I stood, completely frozen.

Rosalie's eyes glanced over at me before she sighed loudly and placed her hand over the receiver. "Bella, he's completely sloshed and asking for you. I highly advise you don't talk to him when he's this belligerent. He can barely complete a coherent sentence."

My stomach clenched, and I resisted the urge to dive for the phone and burst into tears. Edward wasn't a drinker. If he sounded belligerent, it was because he was upset...with me. Without saying a word, I shook my head side to side, afraid that if I tried to vocalize a response, my voice would crack and betray me.

"Edward, she doesn't want to talk to you right now. You're wasted. Is there anything you want me to tell her for you?" Rosalie sighed, sounding incredibly sad. I bit my lip, waiting to hear if Edward had anything to tell me, but he never answered. Rose started looking a bit worried, and I wondered what could possibly be going on on the other side of the line. Edward was really a terrible drunk; I had the first-hand experience to know. "Edward?" Rosalie began again, panicked. "Edward are you still there?"

"What happened? Rose? Is he okay?" I couldn't resist but to ask. I was seconds away from hopping into the car and getting him myself. As it was, Emmett had been trying to convince us to meet him at the bar in the first place. Could it really do that much harm to go earlier and help him out?

She put her hand over the receiver. "I don't know!" Turning back to the phone, she spoke clearly, hoping to contact the drunken boy on the other end. "Edward, can you hear me? Are you okay?" Rosalie flipped around to look at me and sigh in relief as soon as he came back over the line. "Yeah, of course I'll tell her you love her."

With tears burning in my eyes, I turned around and went to hide in my room. I didn't want to listen to the end of that conversation. I couldn't. I refused to give in and break down like some pathetic, helpless woman, running back to her man. I thought over Esme's words; I would make him work for it.

When New Year's came around, Rose begged me to go out with her and Emmett, but I didn't think I could stomach being in the same room as the happy couple for that long. Plus, I desperately wanted Edward to come to his senses and show up at my door, begging for me to come back. The whole night, I stayed in bed, watching Ryan Seacrest while scarfing down a pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream. When 12:24 came around, and I realized that I was still alone, I typed out a text wishing Edward a happy new year, flipped my phone closed, and hid under my covers to cry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I sat on the turfed ground at the Cardinal's field and started stretching for practice. Edward walked right past the entire cheer squad and said nothing, not even a side ways glance.

And as mad as I was at him, the look of his ass in those tight-fitting football pants set my crotch on fire. I felt a breath on my neck, and when I whipped my head around, I very nearly kissed Rose on the mouth. Well, kiss was a strong description...it was more like my lips almost smacked into hers.

Rose, never missing an opportunity, dove right in to mock me. "Well, Swan, if you were into me, all you had to do was say so." She winked and made kissey noises. "I mean, you're just across the hall."

I laughed, and I mean really laughed, for the first time in over a week. Rose smiled wide and then kissed my cheek with a loud wet smooch.

The screechy voice came before the snickers. "See, I told you they were lesbos," Lauren yelled, loud enough for everyone to hear-including Edward.

"Yup, figures." Jessica the harpy added. "You never see them with a guy, and they always act so stuck up around the players."

"And they live together, Jess, don't forget that." Lauren's high-pitched, screechy voice abruptly died down, and I turned to see what the cause was.

Rose had strode from behind me and stalked towards the twin blonde bitches. "Listen here and listen good," Rose's finger jabbed at the 'Blow me Twins' (what the players called them). "Say one more thing, and I'll bust open your lips. See how many guys talk to you when you can't perform your duties."

Her snide comments caught the girls off guard; we usually ignored them. Rose was fierce, tall, gorgeous, and-to top it off-not a slut. She was intimidating, and more of the squad liked her than they did Lauren and Jessica, which the two of them were learning quickly.

Everything came to a screeching halt, however, as a very pissed off Edward got close to us. "Some of us are trying to practice, and if you girls can't keep the high school antics to a minimum...get off the field." Then, still not looking at me, he turned on his heel and stomped back over to the huddle of players.

Some unhappy grumbling and a "what's his problem?" rang out before the girls shrugged it off and went back to prepping for warm ups. I stayed sitting on the rough turf but turned to where I could watch him.

He got sacked several times and was throwing the ball long-or just lopping it away. I stood and began to warm up, but I could hear the coach yelling over everything.

"Cullen! What the hell is going on?" Edward shook his head, shrugging off the coach's comments, but he wasn't having any of that. After all, his star player was acting completely out of character. "Get your shit together. You need to get your head back in the game!." A very frazzled and aggravated Edward apologized but continued to have a bad practice.

The next day was even worse. Our game against the San Fransisco 49ers was a blow out...in their favor. Edward had got the lowest stats he had ever received, and people were getting angry and all together upset. Some thought he was sick, while others thought he was losing his golden touch. None of them guessed the correct reason, which I knew without a doubt was...me.

I wanted to talk to him so badly, to comfort him and have him comfort me. Instead, I stood and watched him suffer his worst career defeat. Esme's words rang through my mind.

"...my Edward has to think of what this will bring to you both-not just himself. So, give him time to realize, Bella. Let him understand, and I promise you, he'll prove to be everything you could ever want."

Other than a drunken phone call while out at a bar, he had made no other attempt at contact. He hadn't called or even texted me. I had reached out on New Years and sent him a text, but I had yet to receive a response. I could not be the one to give in. This was my life and our future.

So, when Rose came up beside me and gave me a concerned look, I smiled. "It'll be okay," I told her. "He just needs time to understand that I can't give up my dreams. I've worked too hard, and I'm only a few months away."

Rose hugged my shoulder as we walked to the locker room. I thought about Edward's loss today and over. He almost had flawless season. So, even with today's upset, the Arizona Cardinals still advanced into the playoffs. In the next ten days, they would play two games-hopefully-to decide if they were headed to the Superbowl. Edward's big dream...playing in and winning a Superbowl.

My anger bubbled, and my sadness grew exponentially. I wanted for him to understand that this was my big dream. Edward was the love of my life, and I didn't want to lose him. I couldn't lose him. But I couldn't lose myself in the process, either.