Edward Elric felt like shit. True, there had been occasions when he'd felt worse, and definitely times when he'd been much more severely injured. At least all of his limbs were currently fully functional, or nearly so, which was a plus. Nevertheless, remembering times when his life sucked worse wasn't really helping much to improve the fact that everything was pretty high on the suck-o-meter right now this minute.

His right arm was killing him. He hadn't wanted to admit it, but what Roy had said about the internal injuries being worse than the external was completely true. The entire right side of his torso felt numb and it throbbed with a dull ache. This was accompanied by a general queasiness that refused to go away, and a shakiness on top of that, a feeling which Ed particularly loathed. Luckily automail did not reflect slight movements, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to hide the fact that he'd been shaking uncontrollably inside since it had happened.

I can't believe that guy. Here we are trying to help him, and this is the thanks we get. Ed didn't know what pissed him off more: the fact that Soubi had attacked him like that, or the fact that he had let himself be hurt by someone who was so fucking pathetic. I should have just told Roy to let him go. Why the hell did we have to get involved?

But he knew why. Ritsuka. Where was Ritsuka now? How were they ever going to find him when their only connection had just booked a ride on the crazy train? Never mind booked a ride: he's got a lifetime fucking rail pass.

Ed sighed and carefully turned over on his back, staring up at the ceiling. What he wouldn't give right now for some of that bitter herbal tea that Granny Pinako used to brew, which he always complained about loudly, but it never failed to calm him and bring the pain down to a level he could stand. Whatever over-the-counter pain medication Roy had given him from Soubi's medicine cabinet was seriously not helping.

He looked over at Roy, conked out next to him as usual. Ed spent so much time watching Roy sleep these days that he had memorized all of his nocturnal patterns. At a glance, he could tell by his position and the depth of his breathing how long he'd been out to the world and how soon he'd likely awaken. He knew when he was sleeping well, when he was restless, and when he was having what Ed assumed were nightmares, though the only visible indications of distress were the tensing of his muscles and the tiny crease that formed between his brows.

Right now, Roy was clearly deep in dreamland, his head lying flat against the bed sheet without a pillow, his pitch-black hair plastered to his face, his lips partly open, drooling slightly. Ed knew if he were to reach out and touch him, Roy would jump 10 feet in the air and land with his fingers in snapping position, on full-alert. Ed grinned inwardly at the thought of trying it, but he knew the man was exhausted, and he had to admit that he was once again grateful to Roy for everything he'd done for him recently.

Some day, I'm going to document all of this information in a report and leave it on that bastard's desk, just to see what he does. An Authorized Guide to the Sleeping Habits of one Col R. Mustang, by E. Elric. Stage 3: Drooling. Once subject has reached Stage 3, nothing short of a nuclear attack will wake subject, unless someone should accidentally touch him, in which case…

Edward's train of thought was interrupted by a noise outside the window. He turned to see if he could discern its cause, but there was nothing readily apparent. Must be the rain… Closing his eyes, he sighed, wishing he'd listened all those times Izumi-sensei had tried to teach him meditative techniques. Back then he'd had no patience for it, but it sure would come in handy now…

His eyes snapped open. Someone, or something, was definitely in the room with them. Though he couldn't see anyone, he could sense a presence. "Who's there?"

He reached over to touch Roy's shoulder as gently as he could when suddenly something grabbed his other arm, something wet and clammy with a grip like iron, pulling him roughly out of bed. Pain shot through his injuries like hot lava as he hit the floor with a jolt. Nevertheless he managed to grab his attacker by the hair with his metal fist and pull him far enough away to get a good look at him. He found himself staring into the eyes of a very wet and very frantic looking Agatsuma Soubi.

"Well, if it isn't Post Traumatic Pretty Boy. What, you didn't zap me hard enough the first time?"

He didn't get to finish his thought, however, because suddenly Soubi was blasted off of him like a booster rocket. He slammed into the window, then crashed down onto the floor and lay motionless. A tuft of his hair was still clenched in Ed's automail. It was singed at the edges. The burnt smell in the air was mixed with the scent of ozone.

Roy was standing by the side of the bed, fingers outstretched, with a look on his face that Ed had only seen once before, though he couldn't recall exactly when. He was angry, but flowing beneath the anger was an undercurrent of something else – something like abject horror - which was very foreign to him as far as Ed was concerned. Roy's left hand was clenched into a fist at his side, and Ed noticed he was shaking. Beads of sweat had formed on his brow, and his breath came in short, sharp gasps.

Ed sat up. "Roy?"

He didn't answer at first. Then he shook his head violently, running a hand through his hair. The frightening look vanished. He started to come back to himself as he turned to face Edward. "Are you… all right?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure about Pan-fried Pretty Boy over there..." Ed started to get up and go over to where Soubi was stirring when Roy caught him by the shirt and dragged him back. Pulling him into his arms, he clutched Edward so tightly it was painful. Ed would have protested, but Roy was clinging to him as if his very sanity depended on it. He could feel his Fighter's entire frame shuddering as he fought to come back from wherever it was he had just been. Changing his mind, Ed leaned back, letting Roy rest his chin on top of his head, reaching up to clasp Roy's hands in his own.

Ed suddenly remembered when he had seen Roy look like that before. It was years ago, when he had been young and foolish enough to challenge Roy to a duel in front of the entire army. Hughes had still been alive back then, he recalled, because he'd refereed the match. They'd nearly destroyed the place, between the two of them. Ed had held his own fairly well, but ultimately Roy's skill and experience had won out, and Ed had found himself on the ground gazing up at Roy's gloved fingers, waiting to become Elric Fricassee.

But it had never happened. Roy had just stared at him, and Ed had the feeling he was looking straight through him, not seeing him at all. That same frightening look had been in his eyes back then, as if he were fighting an internal struggle about which Ed knew nothing, a struggle that absolutely terrified him. Whenever Ed had asked him about it, he'd avoided the question, so Ed had finally dropped it. He assumed it had something to do with Roy's experiences in Ishbal, the horrors of which Ed had only heard whispered rumors. As much time as he spent with Roy, as many habits and moods of his that he could predict, there were times when he felt like there was a huge gulf separating them, and that when it came down to it, he really didn't know his Colonel at all.

Soubi slowly sat up, leaning heavily against the sliding glass door. Other than a few bruises and a general frizzled sort of look, he seemed to be okay, miraculously. Lucky for him he was wet when he came in. He looked up at Roy. "I'm… sorry. I have no choice. I have to take Edward to him. Otherwise he will hurt Ritsuka."

Ed could tell that Roy had had it. He felt all of his muscles tense at once. Look out, Pretty Boy, you're about to get a dose of Mustang Unbridled. "You have absolutely no idea how civilized people behave, do you? No idea how to be human. No idea at all."

For a moment Soubi looked so wretched that Ed thought he was going to start crying. He hung his head and answered almost inaudibly, "No."

"Then let me just fill you in, shall I?" Roy shifted Ed slightly to the side so that he could gesticulate and maintain his hold on his Sacrifice at the same time. "Number one, civilized people are generally not in the habit of haphazardly jolting their colleagues with electric shocks when they wake up in the morning. Not on purpose, not accidentally, not for any reason at all. Number two, civilized people do not, as a rule, show up in the middle of the night and try to drag their associates out of bed by force. Not only is this generally an ineffective persuasion tactic, but it is also exceedingly bad manners. Number three, they most certainly do not then turn around and expect their colleagues to suddenly agree to help them by willingly giving themselves up to the enemy."

Roy was nearly spitting nails at this point, his voice increasing in volume with each argument he made. "Do you know why, Agatsuma-san? Because it's RUDE, that's why. It's rude, crude, and obnoxious; uncouth, uncultured, and dragged up in the gutter!"

Roy accentuated each of these pronouncements with pointed fingers, his face livid, his eyes almost black with fury.

"Did you honestly think that you could just waltz in here and take Edward by force? Are you that much of an idiot? Are there any brains under that fancy hair of yours? Answer me!"

Soubi's eyes suddenly widened in fear. "N-no."

"No sir."

Soubi backed closer to the window, staring at Roy as if he had just sprouted demon wings. Roy was laying it on a bit thick, Ed supposed; there really wasn't any reason why Soubi needed to address him as if he were his subordinate. Still, it was an odd reaction. After a moment Soubi took a deep breath and whispered, "No, sir."

"So what were you thinking? Or did you even think at all? Do you ever think about anyone but yourself and your Sacrifice? Does it even occur to you to do so?"

"No." Soubi shifted uncomfortably. "No, sir."

"Clearly not. What exactly did you hope to achieve, crashing in here like some kind of deranged lunatic?"

"I… I don't know. I just… need Ed to come with me."

"Did you ever think of asking him? Walking in here like a rational, reasonable, sensible human being, turning on the lights and saying, 'We have a situation' or 'This is an emergency' or even 'I need your help'?"

"No, sir."

"Did you even think for five minutes about how this scenario would look from our point of view? Suppose I showed up in the middle of the night and dragged Ritsuka away from you? Would that make you want to help me?"

"No, sir."

"Would that encourage you to trust me and inspire you to come to my aid?"

"No, sir."

"So the question of the hour is then, Agatsuma-san, why the hell should we help you at all?"

"I'm not asking you to help me. I'm asking you to help Ritsuka. No, I'm begging you. Please." At that, Soubi bowed all the way to the ground at Roy's feet.

Roy sighed. "It's not up to me, it's up to Edward. He's the one the man in black wants."

Soubi looked up, surprised for a moment, then he bowed again, in front of Edward.

Ed snorted. "Get up, Pretty Boy. You've got some explaining to do if we're gonna figure out how to waste that bastard who took Ritsuka."