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a/n thank you all for your reviews and support. The next chapter picks up the morning after "For Better or Worse"

Heartbreak

Danny took his steaming cup of coffee to the living room window. He'd promised Lindsey three weeks ago that he'd climb out onto the fire escape and clean the windows. Their deal had been that she would clean the inside and the bathroom for two weeks as payment. The windows were still dirty. It didn't seem to matter if they sparkled in the sunlight. Nothing sparkled for him without Lucy.

"Hey Danny…" Lindsey carried a cup of coffee and stood to the other side of him, with Lucy's toy box between them.

"Hey Montana…" He said softly.

"You slept?"

"A little," He sighed. "Every time I close my eyes I see him standin' there with Lucy in his arms."

Lindsey sidestepped to him and laid a hand on his arm. "I keep dreaming that I wake up and all of this is a bad dream. When I opened my eyes I thought I could hear her calling out for you like she always does in the morning."

The warmth of her hand on his arm couldn't combat the anger and the coldness in his heart. If only he could open, his eyes from this waking nightmare and find his family intact.

"I guess I betta go get dressed." He turned, and her hand fell away from his arm. Her eyes glistened with tears as his eyes passed over her face, but he couldn't feel it through the cold of losing his baby girl and the heat of the rage left over from last night.

"You don't have to go in Danny." Her dark eyes begged him to just stay there with her.

He stopped, but he couldn't respond to those eyes with a comforting word. "You're the one that said I can't keep wallowin' around the apartment."

"I didn't use the word wallowing."

"So now you're gonna argue about words." Danny shot back.

"Danny!"

"I can't get into this right now. I hafta get into work. Mac's expectin' me back."

He saw the misery in her eyes. He should put his arms around her and comfort her. He couldn't seem to make his arms lift from his sides and embrace her. The block in his throat that kept him from screaming in agony had clamped back down in the night.

"I thought we agreed to talk to each other last night."

"I was there Montana. I know what we agreed. Now's not the time for all this." He moved his hands around in time with his speech. "I've been sittin' on my ass for over a week because of this damn shoulder." He rubbed at the healing wound. "I need to get out there and find Lucy. Why can't you understand that?"

"I do understand!" She shouted. "You think that because I hold it together that I don't care? You think I don't hurt like you do?"

He attempted to walk around her, to escape her fury that was large for such a small woman. "Oh no you don't Messer," she grabbed his unhurt arm. "You don't get to walk away. I'm not going to let you push me and everyone else away like last time."

He stopped in his tracks feeling the blood under his skin beginning to boil. "How long are you going to hold Rueben over my head? He was a kid. I was responsible for him."

"Yes you were," she agreed and his heart thumped sickly in his chest. "You and I are responsible for Lucy. Bad things happen to good people, baby. You should know that working for the Crime Lab."

The rage he had felt the night before when he'd come out of his self-imposed exile lashed out at Lindsey. "Don't lecture me Lindsey! I don't want to hear it." He pulled out her grasp, yanking so hard he nearly threw her to the floor. "I'm outta here."

He slammed his coffee cup down on kitchen counter, grabbed his jacket and stomped out of the apartment. His heart still jumped in his chest as regret surged in him as soon as he shut the door behind him. He turned around almost immediately and reached out a hand to the door. Why had he just lashed out at her so hard? Why couldn't he just accept her solace? Last night had been wonderful. Why had he woken up and felt so bad again?

He let his fingers slip off the doorknob. He had to get into work and find his little girl. He'd bring her home to her mother if it were the last thing he ever did.

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Mac stood in front of the glass wall that faced the hallway in front of his office. He stared at the evidence he had ordered out of the locker. Now it resided on his walls, an uncomfortable reminder that his Goddaughter was out there somewhere in the clutches of one of the most evil men he had ever met.

He focused on the dirt they'd found in Lucy's room after Danny had been shot. It didn't mean anything to him. It was dirt you'd find anywhere along the beaches of Long Island and Manhattan Island. Other than the dirt and some drops of seawater, they didn't have anything to tell them where he might have gone.

He stepped to the side, clasping his hands behind his back. The tip line set up after the initial Amber Alert, hadn't netted them one good lead. It was as if Shane Casey had dropped off the face of the earth. How was he getting around? Where was he getting his money? He hadn't used Danny's debit card in the last ten days. Did he steal a car or more than one? He could be anywhere in the US or the world by now. He still had Danny's badge even though they'd flagged it in the law enforcement employees' database.

He sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. They needed help to find Lucy. He went to his desk and picked up the phone at the same time Danny knocked and stuck in his head.

"Hey Mac… You got a second?"

"Yes… What is it Danny?"

Danny came in and sat down on the small couch just inside the door. "I wanna know where we are with Casey."

"You look like hell Danny. Are you sure you're up to work?"

"I'm fine Mac. Don't change the subject. I can handle bein' here!"

Mac watched his younger counterpart rub at both of his eyes. He had a few days growth of beard and red rimmed eyes. Danny winced a bit as he moved his left arm.

"Have you seen a doctor lately?"

"Yes… I had an appointment yesterday. He said my shoulder's coming along as expected. He said it would be fine for me to come back to work at anytime."

"He told you to stay out of the field." Mac added, seeing the truth in Danny's eyes.

"Yes, but I can't just sit in the lab Mac."

"That's exactly what you're going to do Danny. The Commissioner's letting Stella and I with Adam look into Lucy's disappearance, but doesn't want you anywhere near it."

Danny jumped to his feet as Mac expected. "Mac you can't stop me from lookin' for my little girl."

"Yes I can Detective Messer. I had to beg just to keep IA out of this. You and Lindsey are off this until we find him. Is that understood?"

He watched his young friend struggle not to give into the rage in his eyes. He sat back and took the explosion when it came as Danny lost that struggle.

"I'm not gonna be kept out of this Mac, even if it costs me my badge."

"Don't shout at me Detective. You will follow orders or you'll be out on your ear!"

"You can't stop me Mac. She's my little girl." His face screwed up as though he tried to keep the tears back.

"I can stop you and I will. I need you to be objective. If you can't to that, I will fire you."

Danny's throat worked and his fisted hands shook. Mac stared him down until he simply turned and slammed out of the office.

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Mac's breath whooshed out of his throat. If this were his little girl, wouldn't he do the same? Wouldn't he leave every other concern behind until he had brought her home? Was it right for him to bar Lindsey and Danny from the investigation? There were damn good reasons why a family member can't doctor their family, why they can't investigate a crime against them. Lost objectivity can get you killed. He knew that better than anyone did because he had lost his objectivity years ago. If not for that, she would still be…

He shook his head and circled his desk to stare at the evidence covering his walls. If he could just pull out some clue from all the clutter and unimportant information, then maybe they could get somewhere. He almost wanted a bizarre clue left behind by Casey so he could focus on something other than Danny, Lindsey and Lucy.

"Hey Mac!"

He jumped a little not having heard Stella come into the office, "Hey Stella."

"I just ran into Danny. He's not happy."

"I can't worry about that now Stella. I told him he was relegated to lab duty and he's not happy. He's not fit for the field, and I can't have him nosing around Lucy's case."

"Mac, he's hurting. He needs an outlet for all the anger and his guilt."

"Guilt can paralyze you when you most need to act." Mac said, feeling his heart beat just a little faster.

He saw the question in Stella's eyes but ignored it. All of them were very tired and exhaustion could make you do things and reveal things you didn't want known.

"I need all of my team at their best. That includes you. When was the last time you got any sleep?"

She gave him her patented 'you've got to be kidding me, right,' look and it lifted the corners of his mouth even as she spoke.

"I'll go to sleep when you do. You've been here for forty-eight hours straight." She pointed out to him in her best second in command voice.

"I can't stop thinking that we're missing something that's right in front of our eyes." He admitted

"We need fresh eyes… Maybe having Danny here can help. He might think of something we missed."

"No… We need more than Danny and Lindsey coming in here with their compromised view of the facts." He reminded her.

"Don't you think you're being a little hard on them?" She asked calmly.

"I'd like to play the accommodating friend and Godfather." He said going back behind his desk. "I can't do that Stella. I have to be the bad guy and the boss."

"I know that… Just try to remember that this is their baby girl, Mac. They need our support." The fire in her eyes lifted his heart. She would do anything to bring Lucy back.

"They've never had anything but my support." He picked up his phone. "Right now, we need something more than the local FBI. He changed the subject again. "They've hit a dead end. I'm calling in a favor from Quantico… right now!"