The Gift
Part XXXVII
Sami took as long as possible to unpack her belongings from her suitcase and travel bag. Carefully arranging and rearranging the few things she had brought with her. She just wasn't ready to face EJ again, wondering if they would begin trying to have another child in this bedroom or would they go to EJ's room? Then her mind took her to other places and scenarios of what they might do together and she blushed even more than she had earlier when Madison had recounted her and Claire overhearing Belle and Sami commenting upon Chloe.
She needed to keep her mind on the goal, for EJ and her to work together to have a child to save Madison's life, not for pleasure's sake, not for the binding of their souls together, not for them to have a new start at life together. She was too afraid of losing herself to EJ because she knew in the end he would leave her too. They all did in some form or another. Will and Madison were the only two people on this earth that truly loved her. And it was only that love that had sustained her over the years; she would call upon the strength of her love for them to get her through this trying time in her life.
No, she wasn't going to give EJ her heart, her body yes, but only to help Madison. For to give him her heart would be madness. Her life had never been the same since the first time she had encountered EJ standing in the doorway of his apartment with only a towel draped over his form. He had captured her interest that day and everyday since, but she had fought long and hard against the attraction, the invisible pull and tug he had upon her and now here she was in his house and she knew it would be harder than ever to keep her distance from him.
EJ had promised her they would face Madison's illness together, but Sami had never realized the full impact of that promise until much later. She would do anything for her children; as a mother she would sacrifice any and everything to ensure her children's well being and happiness. Hadn't she tried to do that very same thing to make Will happy by marrying Lucas? Now looking back over the debacle her choice had caused, she only wished she had followed her heart, but there is where her problem lay, could she trust what her heart was trying to tell her concerning EJ?
Well she had wasted enough time in here. Where was the Sami Brady that was afraid of nothing? The girl who could tackle any and every situation with determination and single-mindedness of purpose? She desperately needed to find that girl she had abandoned long ago because she knew she needed her fearlessness to help her. She was doing this for Madison, to save her child, nothing else.
She caught her reflection in the mirror before she left the room and mentally argued with herself. Her heart told her to quit lying about her feelings for EJ, but her mind was not about to let her heart win. EJ had quickly agreed with her that night in the restaurant, he was only doing this for Madison's sake too.
Sami gave her reflection a glare, she had enough to deal with and she didn't have time to launch into a full debate over her wants and needs. She was going to do this and hopefully by this time next year Madison's health would be on the mend. She could not lose her precious baby girl, which was the goal she had to keep in mind. Not hoping for a loving future with EJ, she needed to wise up and quickly. They really didn't have time on their side.
Still mulling over things as she left her bedroom, Sami failed to notice EJ and Madison in the living room until it was too late.
"Capture her matey!" Madison ordered as she raised her makeshift sword into the air, her purple bandana wrapped tightly around her head.
"As you wish Captain," EJ pulled Sami close to him, so close that she lost her breath the instant her body had been brought up against him, feeling the strong arm encircling her waist as EJ held her tightly.
"Whoa, what are you guys doing?" Sami sputtered, trying to break free from the strong hold EJ had upon her, so close that she could feel the buttons on his shirt pressing against her back.
"She has the treasure, I'm sure of it," Madison claimed, ignoring her mother's question entirely.
"Are you sure about that?" EJ asked Madison, his breath tickling Sami's ear he was so close to her.
"Positive," Madison confirmed with a nod of her head.
"You better let me go EJ," Sami whispered under her breath as she tried to wiggle free from his grasp.
"Who is EJ? I'm the Daring DiMera, the first mate, and this here," EJ pointed to Madison with his free hand that held his own sword, "is Mad Maddie, ruler of the seven seas and captain of this ship."
"That's right. I'm Mad Maddie and I want the treasure you are hiding from us right now!"
"I have no treasure hidden," Sami caught onto the game Madison and EJ were playing, but she wished EJ would let her go, he was doing things to her that she had been trying to argue against herself in her room only minutes before.
"Please stop with you lies," EJ tightened his grip upon her, loving the feel of her trying to wiggle free from him.
"She is the leader of the mermaids," Mad Maddie proclaimed, loving the game even more now that her mother had gotten roped into it when she had walked into the living room.
"I believe you are right," EJ agreed, dropping his sword to the ground and using his free hand to touch the silken tresses of Sami's hair.
"EJ," Sami gasped, trying to get an elbow into his side just so he would let her go, but so far she was having no luck.
"He doesn't answer to EJ or to you, just me," Madison shrugged her shoulders and smiled impishly. "I'm captain of this ship."
"How can I lead you to the treasure if the Daring DiMera does not let me go?" Sami asked, hoping that Madison would want to find whatever treasure she thought she was hiding more than having EJ hold onto her.
"Well he can let you go for now, but only if you lead us to the treasure you have been hiding from us." Madison signaled for EJ to let go of his hold upon his captive with a wave of her sword.
EJ reluctantly let go of Sami, it had been fun watching her try to squirm away from his grasp, but he guessed it was for the best because she was driving him wild just being that close to him even if they were only playing a game.
Sami tried to compose herself, she had felt every inch of EJ literally while he had held her against him and now her thoughts were definitely going on a more wayward path than she wanted them to go. She had to find some measure of self control where EJ was concerned and fast or she was going to lose this war for her heart for sure.
"I think this queen had hidden the treasure in the drawing room," EJ suggested to Madison, causing his daughter to stop and think about it.
"You may be right," Madison walked behind Sami and pointed her play sword at her. "Lead the way oh Queen of the Mermaids."
Sami hoped EJ had something in the drawing room or Madison would surely be disappointed. Their daughter had such a vivid imagination that her games and stories somehow seemed to take a life of their own. "Mad Maddie, I really don't know the way to the drawing room."
"That's right, sometimes I forget that you don't know where all the rooms are, but I only think you are stalling about where the treasure is," Madison rolled her eyes at Sami and took the lead to the drawing room.
Madison finally went to a door that was in another part of the house and when she opened the door she gasped in surprise. "Oh Daddy, I can't believe it!"
"I knew she had to have that treasure buried somewhere,' EJ couldn't have picked a more perfect moment to reveal to Madison that he had bought her a baby grand piano that she had told him she wanted after going to an Elton John concert with him a few months ago. At first Madison had been skeptical of going to the concert with him because she had wanted to go see the Jonas Brothers, but her father had assured her that if she gave it a chance that she would love the music of Elton John and she had after listening to him sing a few songs.
"EJ, you bought her a baby grand piano?" Sami couldn't even fathom the concept of buying such an expensive gift for their child.
"She wants to learn how to play piano." EJ shrugged. "Samantha, I was going to give it to her for Christmas, but this just seemed like the perfect opportunity to give it to her. I hope you don't mind."
Sami looked over at Madison sitting on the piano bench, not touching the piano yet, just marveling over the keys and trying to take a peek into the piano's inner chamber since the lid was propped up with the staff that held it open.
"EJ, it is just that a piano is so expensive," Sami tried to explain it to him, but she could see EJ wouldn't get the point she was trying to make.
"The money doesn't matter to me, can't you get that Samantha? I just wanted to make her happy."
"You don't need money to do that, all she needs is your love," Sami countered back, hoping that she could make him see that EJ didn't need to buy everything Madison claimed she wanted.
"She has my love, my whole world revolves around her," EJ stated with a sigh, he never knew how much he could love someone until Madison was born. The emotion he felt for his child was clearly etched upon his face.
Sami felt a pang of longing, if only she could have a fraction of the love EJ had for Madison, but she pushed that thought away, she wasn't here to stake a claim on EJ's heart, now she only wished she hadn't of been so foolish all those years ago because she could have been sharing in this love with EJ instead of trying to run away from it. But things were the way they were for a reason and she had to accept that she had thrown away the opportunity long ago to see the love shining in EJ's eyes for her.
"I can see where you are coming from, but can we agree to talk about it before you buy any more big purchases for our daughter?"
"That is fair, I will talk to you first and I will try to refrain from buying out the store the next time Madison wants something," EJ gave Sami a wink, "but I won't make the same promise concerning you."
"EJ what have you done?" Sami arched her brow, trying to decipher exactly what EJ meant by that comment.
"I guess you'll just have to wait and see my dear, after all Christmas is a few days away," and with that EJ would say no more which only increased Sami's curiosity tenfold.
The Gift
Part XXXVIII
The rest of the afternoon went by rather swiftly. Madison's excitement over actually coming home and being able to be in her own environment had taken a lot out of her physically. She was extremely tired and irritable and was falling asleep at the dining room table before they even finished with supper.
EJ carefully picked up his frail sleeping daughter, she was a light a feather, and weighing much less than when she had been checked into the hospital a few weeks beforehand and this knowledge frightened him. He hoped bringing her home was the right thing to do, he wanted the best care for her and there were times when he didn't know if the doctors had all the answers like he used to think they did before his child had become sick.
Sami had watched EJ gingerly carry their daughter to her bedroom, listening to EJ softly whisper his words of endearment to the child he loved more than life itself. She only wished she hadn't been so blind to see what a caring and loving man he had turned out to be, there was no doubt that EJ was capable of loving someone when she saw him with their daughter in moments like these. Now she only prayed there would be many more of those precious moments for them both to share and enjoy.
Sami drug herself out of her reverie and began to clean up the dishes; it was nice to be doing the mundane things of running a household, even if this wasn't her household to run. She made quick work of cleaning up, wrapping up a few items they could use for leftovers for another day, loading the dishwasher, wiping off the kitchen counter. She looked around and thought of what might have been, and then shrugged her shoulders, she had been wishing for too many things lately and she needed to snap out of it. She flipped off the light switch and for a moment almost went to Madison's room, but she stopped herself, she needed to let EJ have some time with her; this was their domain, not hers.
She went to her room instead, when the thoughts of taking a bubble bath called out to her once again. She had coveted that same style of bathtub that was now hers to use in the guest bed and bathroom and since it seemed like Madison was out for the count, maybe she would have time to take a long overdue soak in a tub.
She tossed off her clothes, thinking she would pick them up later. She pinned her hair up so as not to get it wet and set off to start what she hoped would be a time for her to regroup and get her nerves off edge. She desperately needed a break and hoped this would be exactly what she needed.
It had been ages since she had been able to relax and tonight would be perfect choice since they were home from the hospital. Sami thought as she started to run the bath water, testing it to see if it was warm enough, when the temperature suited her, she let the water run fully filling up the tub. She had found some honeysuckle bubble bath in one of the cabinets and had sighed with utter contentment as she lowered her body into the refreshing water of the tub.
Yes, this was just what she had needed or so she thought until she heard him walk into her room, quietly calling her name.
"Samantha, are you in here?" EJ's voice was right outside of her bathroom, he was only a few steps away from her.
Sami held her breath and tried not to let out a squeal. Oh god EJ would be in here in just a moment because she had only pushed the door back a little bit, not enough to be closed. She had been so intent on taking a nice bubble bath that she hadn't even thought to grab some towels, so here she was totally naked her body barely covered under a thin filmy layer of opaque bubble bath bubbles.
She closed her eyes shut and prayed he would walk on, but when she opened one eye sure enough EJ was standing there in the doorway, the look upon his face one she couldn't really define. Could he be an uncomfortable as she felt at the moment as a blush started to cover her face?
Maybe I can just slide in the water and when I look back up he'll be gone. Sami thought to herself, she was about to take the plunge when his voice stopped her.
"I'm sorry for the intrusion," EJ began haltingly; the vision of her in the tub literally took his breath away. She was so beautiful and so close by he just couldn't make himself leave the room.
"It's okay," Sami slid down another inch hoping the bubbles were providing enough coverage for her, but she knew it was a weak cover-up at best. She lifted a watery arm from the tub and gestured, "I was just taking a bubble bath. When I saw the tub, I couldn't help myself."
"I'm glad you are enjoying it," EJ tried to keep eye contact with Sami, not wanting his vision to stray below the waterline although the temptation was becoming a bit too much to bear. "Really I'm sorry for coming in on you like this, I know you need your privacy and …"
His voice trailed off, all he wanted to do was climb in there with her, but it was too soon, she would flee if he tried and he didn't want her to leave before she even spent her first night under his roof. But he was tired of fighting this battle, he wanted her in his life, he wanted her for his own, but he had to be patient, but maybe she would allow his this one liberty.
"EJ?" Sami looked at him uncertainly, she had hoped he would go on, but he seemed rooted to the spot from where he had discovered her taking her bubble bath.
"Samantha, may I do something for you?"
"What?" Sami almost sat up, but caught herself from the action when she felt the water slosh a bit at her sudden movement.
"You have done so much for Madison, being at the hospital non-stop ever since we've heard the news, looking after her and even me, trying to keep me from falling apart, especially the other day at the church, and I want you to know how much I appreciate all you do. So may I please do something special for you?"
"EJ you don't have to do anything for me…"
"If you will allow me to wash your hair," EJ walked closer to the tub and leaned down beside it, taking a pin from Sami's hair and taking one of her tresses and rubbing it in between his fingers. "Your hair is so beautiful, just like you."
"EJ, I don't know…" Sami's felt her heart would stop EJ was so close to her, yet he was still so far away.
"Please, I won't hurt you. I promise."
Sami nodded her head, "Okay."
"Really?" His voice was soft as a whisper in her ear.
"That would be nice," Sami reached back and undid the rest of her hair allowing it to fall behind her back as she shifted up in the tub. She didn't know if he would climb into the tub with her or not. He didn't, only stayed right behind her, taking a pitcher and filling it with warm water to wash her hair. She closed her eyes and gave herself over to the luxurious feel of EJ's fingers caressing her scalp as he washed her hair.
Sami was lost in thought as the minutes passed; her murmurs of pleasure were evident as EJ continued his ministrations, lathering the fruity smelling shampoo in her hair, rinsing it, running his fingers through her long tresses when he was done. When he was finished he handed her a bathrobe for her to wear and Sami didn't know whether to be grateful or disappointed when EJ kissed her forehead and whispered a sweet thank you before leaving her standing alone in her new bedroom.
The Gift
Part XXXIX
The minutes passed slowly by after EJ left her bedroom. Sami grasped the robe tightly around her body that EJ had given to her after he had finished washing her hair for her. Her throat felt almost like it was closing up on her as she struggled to come to grasp with the many emotions that were swirling in her mind.
She lost track of time and walked to the window, staring out at the moonlight thinking of how many times she had done this in the past wishing she were with EJ instead of Lucas and now that she was here in his home with him, she was still no where closer to being with him than she had been before. It was true she was conflicted, fighting with herself over what she truly wanted. She just wanted to stop fighting for a change.
Why can't I just go to him? She asked herself silently, wanting some of her inner strength to seep back into her body. What she had wished for years was well attainable in her grasp, if she would only take the necessary steps to reach out to him. She had seen the light die in his eyes the night she had said she was only in this for Madison. Why did she want to keep lying to him about her true feelings for him? She wanted him, god she needed him now more than ever, but could she do this? Could she tell him the truth?
A shooting star blazed across the night sky and before she even thought about it, she closed her eyes and wished upon it. Taking a deep breath she turned from the window and decided it was now or never.
She was going to EJ.
A smile graced her face as she went to the dresser where she had placed her few belongings, she reached to the bottom of one of the drawers and retrieved a long, sheer, white lacy beribboned gown, one she had never worn before. Something she had seen and bought on a whim a long time ago, but one she had pushed aside saving it for a perfect time and opportunity that didn't ever present itself when she was with Lucas.
Now as she hugged the garment to her, she knew exactly why she hadn't ever worn it for Lucas because when she had bought it that day, her mind had been on another man, EJ. She had chastised herself later on that day for making the impromptu purchase, but as she carefully tied the many ribbons that barely held the piece of lingerie together she was glad that she had saved it for this occasion.
Her stomach felt like it had a hundred butterflies in it as she went back to the bathroom to locate a hair dryer to dry her hair. It took a few minutes to get her hair dried and she brushed her hair until she was satisfied that EJ would like how she styled it. She wanted him to run his fingers through her hair again. She wanted many things from him, things she had never had enough courage to voice out loud to him, but she was determined that tonight she would face her demons down and tell him all the things she had kept hidden in her heart, locked deep down inside her soul.
She put just a tiny dab of lip gloss upon her lips, to keep from biting them she told herself as she opened the door into the darkened hallway and prayed that her newfound courage wouldn't fail her. She quietly made her way to EJ's room, thankful that the house was dark.
She almost stopped and turned around what seemed like twenty times or more until she reached his bedroom door. With shaking hands she twisted the door knob and opened the door.
It was dark in his room, only the light of the moon streaming into the windows. She saw that he was in his bed and she almost turned to leave the room before he noticed her presence until she heard his voice calling out to her.
"Samantha, do you need something?" EJ sat up in his bed and reached for the lamp beside his bed, when Sami stilled his hand, preventing him from turning on the light.
The sheet fell from him and Sami gingerly took a seat upon his bed, "EJ, I need to tell you something."
"What darling?" The endearment falling from his lips so easily and Sami loved hearing him call her by that name.
"This was easier when I was in my room," Sami started, and then stopped, her train of thought suddenly leaving her as she eyed EJ in the moonlight. He truly was magnificent and once again she hoped she wouldn't lose her nerve.
"What? I must say you have me intrigued," EJ scooted a bit closer to her, noticing the lingerie she was wearing, one that teased his senses and had his imagination running wild over what he saw in her lovely appearance.
"I just want you to know…" She stopped again; this was so hard to do, much harder than she even anticipated. She shook her head, wanting the right words to come to her, but she had so many years of denial built up inside her, that it was difficult to let them out.
"Know what?" EJ reached over to brush a stray strand of hair back from her face to look at her more closely and his fingers lingered on her face.
"EJ I want…"
"What do you want sweetheart? I'll give you anything your heart desires if you'll just tell me." He moved closer to her, his voice a mere whisper in her ear.
She bit her lip and closed her eyes, she thought of all the times she had wished to be with EJ, and this time he was here, it was real and she didn't want to mess it up. She opened her eyes ready to tell him. "EJ, I know that sometimes we get close and then I do or say something to push you away, but I don't want to push you away anymore. I want you, I do and not just for Madison's sake like I've been claiming, but I'm scared. I'm really scared that this thing going on between us will hurt us even more if I give into these feelings. My heart calls out for you, but I'm not sure if you will hear me or even want to hear me so I pick fights with you so that I won't do this..."
And with that she reached out to him and kissed him.