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Comfort and Speculation

Lindsey stacked coffee cups in the cupboard, not hearing the porcelain clink together as she worked. The only thing she could hear was the rage in Danny's voice. It had cut her to the core to be shut out of his suffering again. She thought they had learned from their mistakes, but still he'd pushed her away when she needed him.

Her throat began to sting and her eyes to fill with tears as she wiped off the kitchen counter. She looked down at the cloth in her hand. Why? What good did it do for her to be here, keeping up the apartment, when she should be out there looking for her little girl? She slammed her hand down on the counter then screamed in pain. Yep, that was smart Lindsey, hit the counter top and break your hand. She shook her hand hard, trying to work out the pain in her palm. She leaned against the counter with her uninjured hand and began to cry in earnest. Her shoulders shook and she wanted Danny there to hold her and tell her that Lucy would come home.

Her phone beeped in the middle of her sobs. She fumbled it out of her pocket and looked at the caller ID. "Mom…" She croaked out, barely able to form the word in her mouth, let alone get it past her tongue.

"Oh my poor baby… Something told me to pick up the phone and call you. I'm so glad I did." Sarah Monroe said.

"I don't know how much more I can take." Lindsey said, her breath hitching in and out between every word."

"Honey… I want you to breathe for a minute. Can you do that for me?"

Lindsey tried to slow her breathing and stop the sobs that wracked her body. "I'm sorry mom," She said apologetically after a few sniffling moments.

"Why are you apologizing to me? My God, you're in hell. If you weren't out of your mind, I'd be concerned."

Lindsey took her phone out to the living room and sat down in Danny's favorite chair so she could see Lucy's colorful toy box. "Danny won't talk to me Mom. I thought I'd finally reached him last night. I gave him the picture I told you about when we talked yesterday. He finally stopped staring at her crib and slept. Then he got up to go to work today, and it was as if we hadn't talked at all. He keeps pushing me away and I don't know what to do about it." Tears leaked down her cheeks cooling them with salty wetness.

"I don't think you should do anything." Sarah replied calmly.

"But mom -"

"Danny's suffering, maybe even a little more than you. He feels like he let you down and Lucy. He's the type of man that takes pride in looking after the ones he loves. When he can't do that, even through no fault of his own, he pushes others away. It's not logical, but it's who he is."

"I know that Mom." Lindsey said, anger coloring her tone. "He's done this before and he swore he'd never do it to me again. He promised that no matter what he'd always talk to me. Why won't he try?"

"What have you been doing Lindsey?" Her mother suddenly asked.

"I don't understand." Lindsey wiped at her eyes with a Kleenex from the box she'd brought into the living room

"What have you been doing?" Sarah repeated. "If I know you, and I do, you've been doing your best to keep it all together for you both. You don't have to be so strong all the time Lindsey."

"If I don't keep things together." Lindsey said over the ache in her heart from her mother's words, "It'll all fall apart."

"So, it falls apart," Sarah, observed lightly. "Do you want Lucy to come home to parents that let the pressure of her kidnapping pull them apart?"

"No mom… I just don't know what to do."

"Are you working today?" Her mother asked.

Lindsey blinked at her mother's apparent change of subject. "No Mac made me take the day off."

"Smart man," Sarah laughed, "I'm sure he thought the two of you moping in the lab would drive everyone to distraction."

"I don't mope mother. I just want to find Lucy." She shredded what was left of her Kleenex into little pieces that fell like snow from her hand as she opened it over the coffee table.

"I know… I just mean that Mac knows how much Lucy means to you. He is her Godfather after all. I'm sure he thinks that the two of you there for everyone to see, would make the others feel like they're failing you."

"They're not failing us mom."

"Maybe Danny feels that way about you and Lucy."

Lindsey finally released her death grip on the couch's arm. "I don't mean to make him feel that way."

"Of course you don't, so when you see him, don't be strong. Make him see that you need him as much as he needs you."

"I don't know if that'll work."

Sarah laughed again. "It will work. If it doesn't, just tell him I'm coming up to see you and kick his butt."

Lindsey finally smiled, "I don't think that'll scare him Ma."

"Whatever happened to the power of a mother-in-law?"

"He knows you mom, remember?"

"I love you very much Lindsey." Tears had entered Sarah's voice.

"Mom…"

"I love Lucy too. I know you'll get her back."

Lindsey smiled into the empty apartment wishing her mother could be there. If only she could have a hug, like the ones her mother had given over a skinned knee, or some boy that had broken her heart in school.

"Thanks mom… I really have to go."

"Alright, we'll talk soon."

Lindsey put her phone down on the coffee table and stood up. Somehow, she had to get through to Danny. Her mother was right; Lucy needed her parents together when she came home.

Darts of sunlight flashed in and out of the train car as the ACELA sped on its way from DC to New York. Reid had decided it was better to focus solely on his file rather than the passing scenery as the speed made his head light and his stomach a little queasy.

"Nice digs," Garcia observed as she booted up her computer.

The wireless access had sold her on riding a super fancy commuter train to New York City. Hotch sat across from her at the conference table. JJ had been able to get them the work area on short notice for which Reid was grateful. It would have been awkward trying to talk about this case with other people seeing the pictures and hearing about Shane Casey's exploits in more detail. The press had had a field day with the serial killer anyway, but throwing it in their faces wasn't conducive to fostering good will for the FBI.

"What do you think Reid?" Hotch said as he studied his copy of the file and ignored the cup of coffee at his elbow.

"The media's done a good job muddling the facts of the case so I'll ignore their observations. Shane Casey's original stressor was the death of his brother while in custody. He had an over inflated sense of injustice when he believed his brother was innocent. The deaths of the jury foreperson and the bouncer show that he started out as a mission based killer. He had to punish those he saw as framing his brother.

Now he has evolved to a sadist that's all about torturing Detective Messer. He blames the detective for taking away his faith in his brother. He'll do anything to cause Detective Messer pain."

"What about the elaborate clues?" Hotch probed.

"Window dressing… He's just toying with the police and stalling them so he can finish his mission. We will get more of the same. He wants us to know what he's planned."

"I agree…"

"Sir?" Penelope interrupted. "I just got an email from Detective Taylor. He sent me all of Detective Messer's financials. Shane Casey had Detective Messer's debit card. He used it several times before he kidnapped Lucy Messer. I just ran a check, and I'm sorry to say that he hasn't used it in the last ten days. We have no trail to follow."

"Look for thefts of debit or credit cards in and around New York City. Add stolen cars to that as well, he's not walking around with Lucy. Were there security cameras at the Messers' apartment?"

"No… They didn't have a security system either." Garcia explained.

"We know that Casey got into the building once before when he took a piece of clothing belonging to Detective Messer." Reid pointed out over his insulated coffee container.

"Why were they sent home without a police guard?" Garcia wondered.

"Because he fell from the top of Amagansett Point Lighthouse. That's a 110.6-foot drop into the ocean. The Coast Guard and the NYPD probably assumed he had been killed. The tide was high and the point is treacherous. There was no reason to think they'd ever find his body." Reid told her as he rubbed his knuckles along the edge of his cheek.

"I would've thought that same thing." Hotch said.

"It's like some miracle in reverse." Penelope said with a visible shudder.

Hotch raised his eyebrows at her. "I'd just like to call it bad luck."

"Actually there have been instances of people falling from greater heights than 110 feet and surviving. It's not out of the realm of possibility." Reid announced helpfully.

Garcia and Hotch just looked at him. He smiled back at the identical looks of tolerant patience on their faces. "What… No exact odds Reid?" Hotch said with a very tiny smile.

"I'm still working on being more conversational." Reid said, pushing his new bangs out of his eyes.

"I think you're doing great baby cakes." Garcia smile warmly at him.

"Thanks!"

"When we get to New York, I want to talk to the Messers." Hotch ordered. "I need you to talk to Detective Mac Taylor and the ME. Garcia… Find someplace in the lab to set up."

"Got ya boss."

Reid went back to his files as his boss fell silent. It was strange profiling a known subject like Shane Casey. He decided to go over the clues left by Casey. Perhaps he could find some way to get them ahead of the game instead of behind like Casey wanted.