Warning: Do I really need to warn anybody?..... Y'all should know by now XD
I don't own Naruto
Thanks for the great reviews guys… awww you're all so sweet!
Umm, I probably should've put this in the last chapter but…. Review responses…..
I did try to clarify Naruto's thoughts a bit better, I hope it helps.
I apologize that Sasuke explained sex scientifically (in 1st chapter), that was my attempt at a smart ass talking dirty…. It made sense in my head.
Hmmm, I don't think this Naruto is the type to wear leather pants, but in my next fic, he might (grin), I might use your other ideas though, thanks ;)
I'm dedicating this chapter to my brother's friend, Robert, who said "I would have Haku's babies"
X-X-X Rules of the Bathroom X-X-X
Chapter 3
Sasuke continued on his way and boarded the escalator back to the second floor where his brother still waited. Naruto watched as the bastard got farther and farther away, barely registering a redhead on his way down. Gaara must have seen them exit the bathroom since he was on his way to meet him, he didn't say a word as they found an empty table in the food court by the Chinese place and sat. The silence lengthened as Naruto's thoughts remained on Sasuke, he looked at the table before him depressed and apprehensive.
"So….. You had sex with Uchiha."
Naruto glanced up at his friend whose stoic face betrayed little of his emotions, then nervously at the filled tables surrounding them. It was lunch time on a Saturday after all and the mall was packed with other excited teenagers being loud on their day off. "Do we have to talk about this here?"
Gaara lifted his arms in the air, "I am God!" He declared in a rather loud voice, when no one even glanced in their direction he returned his gaze to Naruto with a you're-so-paranoid look, "See, no one cares."
Naruto sighed and began his explanation, staring at the designs on the table, he had planned on telling Gaara anyway but he just wasn't looking forward to the drama, not that Gaara was even the type to bring the drama. Mainly he'd put off telling him because he felt like a hooker. When he finished, ending with the arrangement he and the bastard had come to in the mall bathroom, feeling anxious about the whole thing he asked the question that had been eating away at him. "Do you think I'm a bad person for going along with this?"
"You know I'm not a 'let's talk about our feelings' guy, so I'm only going to say this once so pay attention." Naruto nodded with a rather pained look on his face, Gaara continued, "So you like sex, big deal. Everyone does… well at least most people, it's nothing to be ashamed of. If a purely physical relationship is what you want then go for it. Although I think it would be better if you found someone else to explore this with, I was expecting this to happen….. you've been obsessed with Uchiha since elementary school."
"It would probably be a lot less painful if it was anyone else but there's no one else I like. I'm hoping that if I play his game I'll get bored and this craving for him will go away. At least that's the plan."
"Just be careful, that's all I ask." Gaara said, "So what are we doing today?"
A big grin spread across Naruto's face as he formulated the plan, "I was thinking we could call Lee and have lunch, go to a movie then you guys can come to my house and we can play spoons till three in the morning!"
"All right." Gaara pretended not to care if they met up with their other close friend, but Naruto had long ago decided that the redhead was actually attracted to the insanely happy, ADHD afflicted, bushy eyebrow, power of youth spouting, Mountain Dew guzzling maniac with the almost unholy attachment to green spandex, aka Rock Lee. He would watch him when he thought no one was looking, he would always notice the second that Lee left the room and there was that special tone to his voice whenever he would talk about him. Which honestly confused the blond because although he thought Lee was a hoot he never would have figured him for being Gaara's type, but that just goes to show that opposites attract, right?
After texting Lee to see what he was doing, Naruto scanned the songs on his phone looking for one that fit a sadistic bastard.
"Looking for a ring tone?"
"Mmhm," Naruto replied a little distracted.
"How about Megalomaniac?"
Naruto grinned as he thought about the lyrics to the not so nice Incubus song, "I was thinking maybe some old school Godsmack, bastard seems like he needs something with a little kick…. Moon Baby. Yeah, that's perfect!"
"If you're going for some Godsmack how about Whatever instead?"
"Hey! I thought you were going to be nice," Naruto teased and couldn't help laughing about it.
"Like Moon Baby is 'nice', and I never said I would pretend to like the douche bag, but for your sake I will be nice and not insult him all the time. What's my ring tone? Just curious."
"Down With the Sickness…. Disturbed….. it seems to fit you."
From Naruto's phone came Minimum Wage from They Might Be Giants, "Well he does work at a gas station, and I thought he needed some bouncy….."
After he answered his call they waited for Lee, discussing the movies they both wanted to watch while monitoring the line at the pizza place across the food court where they planned on having lunch. When he arrived they had their pizza, picked the showing, an action flick since Gaara hated comedies and tended to irritate others at horror movies that he thought were funny as hell, then wandered the mall aimlessly until it was time. A visit to the arcade for a couple hours after the movie, finished the day so it was a tired trio of teenagers that tromped into Naruto's house at five that evening.
"Iruka!" Naruto called as they took off their shoes by the door, "Gaara and Lee are staying over, okay?"
Iruka appeared in the doorway, a potato peeler in one hand, a half peeled potato in the other, his 'World's Greatest Dad' apron tied around his waist. "Sure, that's fine," He looked at the two boys and smiled, "Call your parents though, okay guys?" He went back into the kitchen, raising his voice a bit so they could still hear him. "Dinner's going to be a little late tonight, I'm just getting started on the potatoes and I still have to do the roast."
"No problem, we had pizza earlier anyway," the blond replied as Lee and Gaara sat on the sofa for a minute, "You guys want something to drink?" Naruto asked before going in the kitchen grabbing some sodas and going downstairs to play some pool after saying hello to Kakashi. Iruka never minded if Naruto's friends stopped by randomly especially not on Saturdays. Saturday night was Iruka's self proclaimed family fun night, and lately their family had expanded to include not only Naruto's two best friends but Baa-chan and Jiraiya, Kakashi and even Lee's crazy guardian Gai.
It was around seven thirty that night, after Naruto had just finished his plate, when he heard the opening of Moon Baby from his cell that he had forgot to put on vibrate. Everyone at the table looked at him, most of them curious or confused but Gaara highly amused, well at least for Gaara anyway.
"Naruto," Iruka scolded, "What have I said about phones at the table?"
"Sorry," the blond reached into his pocket and prepared to turn off his phone, a sad look on his face.
"Well, go ahead and take it this time, dinner was late after all, just remember next time okay." Iruka ruffled his adopted son's hair and laughed at the traumatized yet happy look on his face.
"Thanks!" pushing the button on his phone, "Can you hold on a sec?" Naruto asked Sasuke then took his plate to the sink and after rinsing it, put it in the dishwasher. "I'm back," he said into the phone as he slipped on his shoes by the back door getting ready to talk on the porch for extra privacy.
"What were you doing dobe? You're slow."
"I just finished dinner, geez rude much?" He could tell everyone at the table was listening intently to his one sided conversation and he gave them a big smile as he stepped outside.
"Hn"
"So what did you want anyway?" the blond asked as he sat on the steps, shivering in the chill air.
"I have an idea, to help with our…. situation."
"Kay"
"On Monday, in History, tell Kakashi you need a tutor."
"Why?"
"Your grades are dismal, dobe."
"Right, Asshole, but how does that help us?"
"Okay, try to follow me. You're failing History, Kakashi teaches History. Who is in your class with an A average? …….."
"But you never tutor."
"Exactly. That's why you need to do it in Kakashi's class, he likes to fuck with people's minds. Any other class, someone would volunteer and then they would be your tutor. But Kakashi, he would make me do it and wouldn't care who else actually wanted to. So see, perfect."
"Won't he think it's weird if I all of a sudden want a tutor when I never have before?"
"Hasn't he been trying to convince you to get one all year? Anyway, he won't figure it out, there's nothing to worry about."
Naruto hated to admit it but the plan was genius, stupid stuck up bastards and their brilliant minds, "You know I could just leave you holding your hand, and not do this at all."
A deep sexy chuckle floated out of the phone, the blond's breath caught, "But you won't," the velvety voice felt like it was caressing his skin, "and if you do, there's always the bathroom…… Do you think you could be quiet if I fuck you into the wall during school hours? Would you be able to hold in your screams as you cum? Or your needy little pants and moans as I pound into you over and over? Or maybe we could find an empty classroom, you could go down on me while I sit behind the teacher's desk."
Naruto panted slightly, his jeans feeling tight, "Okay, Okay, stop, my family's inside bastard."
"One other thing, my brother is going to New York on Monday and won't be back for a week and a half, I'll have the key to his place because I'm feeding his snake and taking care of his mail and all that crap. We can go over there after school and on the weekends. But I have to go, bunch of shit to do."
"Bye." Naruto hung up the phone and tried to think of something disgusting….. Um…… Gai in a thong….. Ugh sick…. To get rid of the tent in his pants. Problem solved, he slipped his phone in his pocket and returned to the kitchen to help clear the table.
When the dishes were all done, with of course no help from Naruto who had been in the living room talking with his friends, they grabbed the cards and everyone started playing spoons. The house soon filled with screaming and laughing as people got into the game, lunging for spoons, some even across the table….. Lee gets a little carried away. They played several games and stopped around midnight then everyone went home, except Gaara and Lee of course who went up to Naruto's room. Where Naruto told Lee about what happened with Sasuke.
"Yosh! You embraced the power of your youth! Are you two together now?" Lee asked, a little confused when he was told they couldn't talk about it around anyone else.
"Not exactly," Naruto tried to find words.
"Naruto's letting Sasuke use him for sex," the blond gave Gaara an affronted look at his summation of earlier events, "What? Okay, you're using each other for sex, happy?"
Naruto frowned off into space.
They decided it was time to at least get some sleep since they had quite a bit of homework to get done before school on Monday. So Gaara took the bed, like always, and the other two slept on the floor on the airbed Naruto blew up from the closet. On which Naruto usually slept rather well even though Lee would occasionally shove him over with his foot or punch him in the back while mumbling in his sleep.
x-x-x sasunaru x-x-x sasunaru x-x-x sasunaru x-x-x sasunaru x-x-x
Monday morning was sunny but cold and Naruto was just putting his jacket in his locker when he heard the first question about his Friday night escapade.
"Naruto," Sakura began from right behind him, almost causing him to drop his arm load of first hour Biology supplies in shock, "You ready to tell us who it is yet?"
Naruto turned around to see Sakura with a big smile on her face, Ino was right beside her like a shadow, "Nope, bye." He said and walked away, he could hear her grumbling.
"He's probably ashamed although I don't know why….." she trailed off as she turned toward the doors to the school and he could barely hear her until she nearly shouted, "Sasuke!" He jumped and almost turned until she continued, "I love that shirt Sasuke! Is it new?" Her loud voice faded in the distance as he trudged down the hall and up the stairs to his class.
Even though his hickeys were mostly gone and you couldn't see them through the cover-up, it was a nightmare, everyone had heard and they all wanted to know the details, Naruto ignored them but by the time his fifth hour history class came around he was getting really pissed and wished they would just mind their own damn business. 'I'm going to plant a big fucking hickey on the bastard's neck next time, see how he deals with this shit.' Naruto growled to himself as he took his usual seat in Kakashi's class in the back by the window, 'he probably won't even care, he'd just have to glare at them all pissy like and they'd run away.'
Naruto stared out the window while the class filled with students, he didn't look at any of them but he could still hear them whispering and could feel them staring at him. He knew the instant Sasuke arrived and sat at his normal seat that was on the other side of the room in the middle, Sakura always sat right next to him. Naruto snickered to himself, he knew Sasuke had tried to move numerous time but she'd always followed him like a good little groupie so he'd just given up. Serves him right, that was the price for ignoring her rather than just telling her to fuck off, it made Naruto wonder if Sasuke really liked her and was just messing around with him.
They would make a better couple, the top two grades in the class together instead of the top and the bottom. Naruto sighed, he had to stop thinking like that, the bastard and he weren't really together, so it wasn't his concern really. Kakashi arrived to teach, shocking Naruto out of his depressing thoughts because he was close to being on time and had an arm full of papers. He was handing back their tests today, which explained why the bastard thought today was a good day to ask for a tutor, he probably had done lousy and could panic about it.
He looked at his paper… another F, Naruto raised his hand when all the tests had been handed out. "Mr. Kakashi?"
"Yes Naruto"
"Um…. Do you think I could get a tutor?" He asked quietly.
"Sure," he looked around the room, several people had raised their hands, volunteering, he asked someone who did not raise their hand, "Sasuke, you will tutor Naruto."
"No." Sasuke replied
"I insist."
"Too bad."
Naruto looked back and forth between the two, a concerned look on his face, but then he remembered to make it irritated. After all he wasn't supposed to want to have Sasuke as his tutor and he wasn't supposed to be worried that the bastard was taking it too far and would get in trouble.
"Sasuke, you will help Naruto or I will fail you."
Several of their classmates gasped and started murmuring about how unfair that was.
"Fine." Sasuke gave in.
After class was over Sasuke came over to Naruto's desk where the blond was still putting away his books. "We might as well start the tutoring thing after school today dobe."
"Don't call me that jerk! Don't just assume things on your own either, I could be busy."
"Are you?"
"No."
"Hn, I'll pick you up after school then, we can take my car, I have to do something quick and then we can study."
Kakashi was watching them carefully and Naruto wondered if he suspected something but the blond decided not to worry about it. Sasuke left the room and went on to his next class, Naruto followed thinking this was the longest day from hell but now finally there were only two more classes left.
The real craziness of the day happened in gym, Naruto's final hour and the only other class he shared with Sasuke. The blond was early that day since in Art it was an everyone-work-on-their-special-painting day and their teacher had something to do before class was completely over. Sai was also early, because he was in that art class and gym class too. Naruto knew Sai wanted to bother him about the stupid hickeys because he was watching him out of the corner of his eye all hour, as soon as they got to the empty locker room he unleashed.
"Hey blondie, I heard you got frisky Friday night, and they left dark hickeys in very obvious places. Who was it?" Sai asked him as he took off his eyesore of a belly shirt and tossed it in his locker.
"That's none of your business Sai." Naruto took off his own yellow t-shirt and orange hoodie and threw them in his own locker.
"So?"
"So I'm not gonna tell you."
"Why not? They're just hickeys. Unless….." he looked at the blond in shock, "Congratulations blondie, I didn't know you had it in you, I always thought you had no dick. Now I really have to know….. Who was it?"
"None of your fucking business Sai!" Naruto yelled at him blue eyes wide, the pervert was really way too good at guessing things.
"What if I guess?"
"I'm not going to tell you!" the blond snarled through gritted teeth.
"That's what you think….. hmmm, to leave such dark hickeys they'd have to be very possessive….. Temari?"
Naruto wrinkled his nose unconsciously at the suggestion, "Are you serious!? She would kill me, then Gaara would kill me, and then Shikamaru would kill me."
"Let's see…. How about Hinata? I doubt if she would be aggressive enough but you never really know, she could be a wildcat in the sack, it's always the quiet ones."
Naruto gave him a look of utter disgust, "She might be, but…. Ewwww…… and I'm pretty sure Kiba would break your legs in your sleep for even thinking about her that way." Naruto was barely listening as Sai kept rattling off random people, he took off his shoes and his jeans, put on his gym shorts and tennis shoes and the guy was still rambling.
"Rumpelstiltskin…."
"What?!"
"Just making sure you're paying attention. You used a condom right?"
Naruto just looked at him and shook his head.
"She could be pregnant you know, what were you thinking?"
Naruto sighed and looked at him and rolled his eyes, "No one's pregnant."
Sai raised an eyebrow, "Tsunade, " he suggested.
Naruto had enough, he knocked Sai to the floor, sitting on him with his knees on either side of his hips, wrapped his fingers around his throat lightly and banged the pervert's head on the floor repeatedly, "Stop suggesting disgusting things you damn creep!" he screamed just before the door opened.
Not knowing who it was, Naruto quickly loosed his fingers from around Sai's neck so it wouldn't look like he was attempting homicide. Which happened to be a mistake, for when he met Sasuke's narrowed black eyes the blond appeared to have been straddling Sai's lap, half naked, with his mouth not far from the other guy's face.
Sasuke said nothing, his face completely black, and walked away to his locker.
"Fuck." Naruto whispered, not realizing he'd commented aloud until he heard the dreaded response from Sai.
"Ah, mystery solved."
TBC
Hope no one fell asleep halfway through, I just wanted to have some of Naruto's home life added, I don't really like it when the characters exist in a vacuum and you never really learn what happens to them when they're not together.
Sorry about the lack of citrus fruits this time, I'll make sure the next chapter has one….. a really good one, I promise, after all they'll have Itachi's whole house Mwahahahah.
Is everyone okay with the couples I've mentioned?
Does anyone think Gaara is too OC? Or Naruto? Or anyone really.