The Gift
Part XLV
EJ finally returned home an hour later determined to let Samantha know that she was under no obligation to him whatsoever no matter what had transpired between them the night before. He should have known better than to think they had a chance to find happiness together as a couple. Once again he'd be hit with the harsh reality that his daughter was probably dying and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.
His mood was dark; even all the exertion of the miles long run he had accomplished did nothing to brighten his outlook. He was so tired of it all; the past month there had been bad news upon bad news with little of the good to lighten the load. Then Samantha had come to him last night and for a brief moment he had dreamed the impossible, that he would finally have a family, one with the woman he loved, his precious daughter and even the hope of adding more new members of their family somewhere down the road.
Pausing a moment before he entered his home, he wished things were different, but sadly things never were easy for him and he guessed this time would be no exception. Well he'd ease Samantha's conscience of feeling beholden to him just because Madison had asked her to do so.
It broke his heart to see her approach him with a welcoming smile, why it almost seemed surreal. Here was Samantha, in his home, but she wasn't to be his, in his dreams she was his to love, to hold, to whisper sweet nothings into her ear at the most inopportune moments to make her laugh, but it was past time for him to stop believing in dreams.
"EJ, come in," Sami scolded lightly as she opened the door wider for him to walk into the house. "I have been wondering where you have been for quite some time."
"My goodness Samantha, you almost seem worried about me," he tried to return the smile she had so quickly bestowed upon him as soon as she had saw his face, but the effort was too much for him.
"I was worried," she moved closer to him to inspect his features and was surprised when he quickly retreated away from her outstretched hand to him. She looked at his outfit and deduced he had gone running from his appearance. "Why didn't you let me know you were going out for a run?"
He ran a hand through his hair, soaking wet from his run. "Sorry, I didn't know I had to check in with you before I did things now."
"You don't but, I was hoping we could talk. I mean we really need to go over some things and I…"
"Just let me get a shower and then we can talk." EJ averted looking her in the eye as he made his way past her to go into his bedroom.
Sami was tempted to follow him into his room. EJ was acting strange, not like himself at all, why it was almost like he didn't want to have anything to do with her. As the thought started to form in her head, she was shaken; surely he wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him. Then why was he acting so coldly towards her?
No, he wouldn't turn away from her, not after last night. Determined to get to the bottom of this before things got so messed up between them Sami marched into his bedroom, ready to tell him how much she cared for him, that she loved him as much as he loved her.
She entered into his room, hearing the shower in his bathroom already running. Apparently EJ had wasted no time into getting a shower. She stood outside his bathroom door, should she go in or wait until he was finished? The longer she stood there the more her fears grew that EJ didn't want her that last night had been a huge mistake and now he was trying to find a way to let her know that things weren't going to work out between them. Sami felt hot tears start to form, although she refused to let them fall.
She realized that she was nervous, literally shaking and decided that she couldn't wait for EJ to get out of the shower. She turned the knob on the door and opened it, the opaqueness of the glass brick shower shrouding his form from her eyes as the steam from the shower enveloped the room.
With her heart beating in her chest wildly, she reached for the shower door and opened it, the spray of the water hitting her the instant she stepped into the shower with him.
"What are you doing?" EJ asked, looking at her as if she had lost her mind.
"We need to talk and if you won't get out of the shower I was going to come in here with you instead."
"You are so crazy Samantha. Why couldn't you wait for me for a few more minutes?" His tone was sad and that bothered Sami even more than his apparent lack of interest that she had joined him in the shower.
"I just couldn't," she said tugging at the wet boxer shorts she was wearing and tossing them over the top of the shower, then followed with the now heavy sopping wet polo shirt that she quickly ridded herself of too.
"Samantha…"
"How about we talk later? Madison is asleep and suddenly talking is the last thing on my mind at the moment," she placed a hand on his chest and used her other hand to wrap around his neck, bringing his mouth to hers and all thoughts of EJ protesting her being in there with him suddenly fled as he pulled her in closer to him while the shower continued to run water over them both.
The Gift
Part XLVI
This time their coupling was not sweet and slow, it was urgent, their hands were all over one another, pulling and tugging each other closer while the warm water cascading over their slick bodies.
No words were needed, her mouth was pressed against his, open and hungry as their tongues collided with one another. Sami moaned as his grip on her tightened and he picked her up under her arms to nestle her against the shower wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist tightly, seeking him out and was rewarded for her efforts when he thrust himself deeply inside her.
"Ahh, I want more," she urged greedily before she took a love bite upon his neck.
"Don't want to hurt you," was all he was able to get out as Sami connected back with his mouth, her tongue sweeping back in to drink from EJ's decadent mouth, one that she had dreamed of being upon her body night after night and now he was with her, bringing her to new heights of delight with each movement of his body.
"You won't," she assured him, shaking her head to let him know that she wanted this from him, after breaking their kiss. She needed this, wanted to feel alive within his arms, this feeling of losing complete control and only focusing on her primal need was exhilarating.
Wisps of pleasure started to whirl through her as EJ continued driving into her harder and harder. "Yes, that's it, right there." She bit down upon his shoulder as the beginnings of her orgasm began to radiate throughout her body.
Her bite sent him over the edge too, causing him to find release in their intense encounter. His breath coming in gasps as he sought her eyes wishing with all his heart that he could claim her heart, but knowing it would take much more than he would be able to offer her. They needed to talk and instead wound up having sex. This was not how he had wanted to start off their conversation at all.
Dreading the inevitable, he pulled out from her, reaching to turn off the shower as he lowered his eyes from her and quietly said, "We shouldn't have done this Samantha."
Sami felt like she was in a fog, how could EJ be saying such a thing after they had just had such mind blowing sex with one another? It didn't make any sense to her, she tried to comprehend what he'd just said, but her mind somehow couldn't wrap itself around the concept.
He stepped out of the shower stall, grabbing them both towels to dry off with as he kicked his discarded wet clothes that Sami had been wearing when she had stepped into the shower with him to the wayside.
"EJ, I don't understand," was all she said after taking the proffered towel from him as she hastily wrapped it around her body, trying not to notice the wet droplets of water that still clung on his body as he also wrapped a towel around his form.
He turned to face her, "We needed to talk, not jump one another's bones. You're just making things more difficult than they already are at the moment."
No, things weren't going the way she hoped at all as she felt her ire rise within her from his words he'd just spoken to her, why it almost seemed as if EJ was doing his best to pull away from her.
"So you didn't want me in there a few minutes ago?" She asked sharply, knowing from past experience that she would go for the jugular if need be to protect her from being hurt again by any man. She had taken too much crap from men in the past, to allow it to start all over again.
"I'm not saying that, but wanting you has never been my problem Samantha. You know that, but we have Madison to consider now and we have to…"
"Have to what EJ? Be careful that she doesn't see that we are having sex with one another?"
"No, I don't even know what we are doing and we can't go into whatever this is with blinders on and hurt Madison in the process."
"I would never hurt Madison! She is my child!"
"She is our child," EJ corrected, "and so far we have confused the hell out of her by what she saw this when she came into my bedroom this morning!"
"I didn't mean for her to see us together," Sami said, her voice taking a quieter tone, knowing that what EJ was saying was right. They both had to be on the same page with one another and right now it didn't look like they were anywhere near being to that stage.
"She just has questions and what are we going to tell her? Samantha I heard her asking you to take care of me if something happens to her, but I can't hold you to that promise. If something happens to Madison I won't be here anymore."
"Won't be here? What are you saying EJ?"
"I'm leaving Salem if Madison…"
"Don't you dare say it!" Samantha's eyes blazed with a fury that was building quickly with each passing word coming from EJ.
"If she dies, I won't stay here! I will not torment myself with the constant reminders of what I have lost! I'm sorry if that bit of information pains you Samantha, but can't you see that for once in my life I'm trying to be completely honest with you?"
"Your honesty sucks!" She threw back at him along with the towel as she tried to push past him to get out of the bathroom, thoughts of telling him that she loved and needed him flying far away from her as the crashing reality hit her that he didn't love her enough to stay if Madison was no longer around.
He caught her before she could leave the bathroom, his hand encircling her arm, "You see this is exactly why I'm so hesitant about our relationship Samantha. We can't go off on one another like we do because now Madison can get caught in the crossfire and I can't bear to put that precious child into the path of our misguided efforts of trying to build something together."
"Misguided efforts! You jackass! I don't know what I was thinking coming in here after you! I can see this was a huge mistake. Let me go!" She wrung her arm in an attempt to release herself from his grasp, but he refused to let go of her.
"I can't, not before we come to some sort of agreement about what we need to do next."
She stopped her fighting against him and gave him a wary look, uncaring if she was naked or not in front of him, "And what sort of agreement do you propose we do EJ?"
"I'll help you expedite getting the divorce from Lucas and we marry one another."
"Why would I want to marry you? You conceited bastard! You think I want to jump from one hell to another?"
"We marry to give Madison something to live for, something for her to fight for because if the thought didn't occur to you while she was begging you earlier to help look after me after she died that it sounds like our daughter has given up wanting to fight for her life and I'll be damned if I let that happen! I will do any and every thing in my power to make what little time she may have left a happy one and if you dare cross me on this Samantha, I will make you pay for the rest of your life."
"Now that sounds like the EJ I used to know and despise," Sami jeered, wishing with all her power that she could hurt him as badly as he was hurting her now with his words, ones that were shredding her soul.
"I knew you didn't have it in you to care about me, that your true feelings would arise given time, so darling all I am asking of you is to give our daughter and everyone around us the performance of a lifetime and convince them all that you could actually care about me. I know it will be a stretch for you, but you are a very good deceiver. God knows I've seen it many a time in our relationship with one another."
She stepped closer to him and ran a hand up his chest, "Don't you worry EJ, I'll have everyone fooled thinking that I'm madly in love with you, but just know it will all be an act, nothing more."
"You just do what you do best; lie darling and all will be fine." EJ assured her, his eyes now a hard glint.
She leaned up closer to him so that their bodies were touching, "But EJ, you have forgotten one very important thing."
"What's that?"
"If I get pregnant with another child to save Madison's life, what are you going to do then? Just toss us out on the street after our daughter gets the stem cells from the other baby?"
"No, but I don't think I have it in my to give my love to another child, I just can't risk it, I won't. I can't live my life with the fear of losing them too."
"I feel sorry for you EJ, you really don't know what you are missing out on, but rest assured I will play the part of the loving and devoted wife to you, just know that as soon as I get pregnant, that is it, no more physical interaction between us, unless we are out in public or where Madison can see us."
"Agreed, we only do what we have to do to help Madison."
Sami's hands itched to slap him, but she kissed his cheek instead and then proceeded to walk proudly out of the bathroom with her head held high, determined not to ever let EJ know that she loved him. She'd walk on coals of fire before she'd ever let him have the privilege of the knowledge that she cared for him.
End of Book I, Promises will pick up where The Gift ends.