To Gilbert Beilschmidt-
At first, I did not mind you writing to my wife, knowing how you two were friends as children, but this has gone too far. You love her and want her to consider your words? What is there to consider?
I am assuming that you are surprised that I know about that. You see, I normally get the mail, so I have seen your letters. Before I saw the name, I knew it was you. You are the only person I know that would be moronic enough to use Scotch tape to hold your letters together instead of getting an envelope and a stamp. Anyway, I wish to make this letter brief, so I will get to the point.
Do. Not. Write. To. Elizaveta. Again. Got it? Never. Fini. No. Nein. If you think it is because of what you have said about me, then you are mistaken. Yes, I have read your letters (who knows what vile things you may have tried to say to Elizaveta.) I simply do not want you writing to her. That is all.
Sincerely,
Roderich Edelstein