-

Bee-uty & the Beast

Kraen

--

Chapter Ten

"Gai, who taught you how to hold a teacup?" asked Hani with a slight lilt of irritation.

The swarthy ninja shrugged, "I don't know, my mother I guess."

The two had setup a small table in Hakanza's office and were now taking the time to go over the finer art of being a nobleman.

Hani leaned across the table and adjusted Gai's grip on the delicate teacup. "Is your mother a chimp?"

"Now, that was unnecessary!" said Gai, his own irritation building. "My mother is a saint!"

Both jumped at the sound of the teacup shattering in his grip.

Hani rolled her eyes as she threw the cup's remains in a nearby trash bin. "That's eight," she sighed.

"Well, what do you expect when you get me worked up?"

She placed another cup in his hand. "This is pottery Gai, not the neck of a man you are trying to strangle."

"I know—" said Gai as he took the cup as delicately as he could – it immediately slipped between his fingers and smashed into pieces over the table.

Both had stopped trying to save the cups after the fifth casualty.

Hani released a long, frustrated sigh, "OK, let's try something different." She placed another cup in his hands. "Imagine this is a throwing star and if you squeeze it too tight, it will cut you." She adjusted a few of his fingers, "Good. Now place your left hand at the base."

He did as she asked.

"Excellent," she said as she took the cup from his hands and placed it on the table. "Now take the cup again and hold it the way I just showed you."

Gai took a long sigh as he stared at his little porcelain advisory. Being delicate was not something Gai ever managed; in fact, it usually took more effort on his part to do something as mundane as holding a fragile teacup, than crushing a boulder. Having a lot of strength was a blessing in some ways, but a curse in others.

He reached out and took the cup as gingerly as he could, without dropping it. He then placed his left hand on its base and then brought it to his lips, pretended to drink, then returned it to the table.

Hani grinned at him, "Perfect – it only took ten cups, but I think you've finally got it!"

Gai crossed his arms and slumped. "I am not enjoying this training," he scowled.

Without missing a beat, Hani turned to the clipboard next to her. "Very well, let's go over the roster for tonight's banquet again."

Gai rolled his eyes, but didn't protest.

Hani looked over the list, "OK – Mariko Tanaka?"

Gai searched his memory, "He is … the Major of Hakanza's 3rd regimen."

"Five points to the swarthy ninja in the front row," said Hani in her best 'teacher impersonation'.

Gai fist-pumped, "Yosh!"

She peered at him over the top of the clipboard, "Eiko … Hamada …" He had struggled with this name just moments before.

"He is …" Gai scratched his chin. "A merchant?"

Hani spoke from behind the clipboard, trying not to give him any visual clue, "Yeeeeess … a merchant of what?"

"Hummmmmmm …" Gai squinted his eyes, furrowed his brows and then tilted his head to the side as he crossed his arms; his mind lost in thought.

Hani used the clipboard to stifle herself from laughing. She had seen this look of his before and had aptly named it, 'The Constipated Face'. Now, every time he had this expression, she couldn't stop the very comical image of a constipated Gai from forming in her head.

"A merchant … of … legwarmers?" he asked, cringing slightly.

"Good grief, Gai," scolded Hani as she waved the clipboard threateningly. "If you're going to guess, at least make it practical!"

"Then what does he sell?"

"Horses!"

Gai face-palmed, "ARGH! I knew that!"

"OK, let's do another one."

"Why do I need to know all of these people anyway?"

Hani returned the clipboard to the table, "Because, these people are suppose to know 'you' aka Hakanza. And if you don't have the foggiest clue who they are, then they'll suspect something."

"Do I really need to know their professions? Is it really that important?"

"Of course it is important! At least, to these people – whose livelihood ties them to Hakanza somehow."

Gai shifted; he was getting pretty antsy to exercise, spar, do anything but sit around a table and play 'tea party'. "Can we work on something else, please? I feel like my youth is being wasted here."

"I enjoy your company too, Gai," said Hani sarcastically. She considered things for a moment, "What about dancing?"

Gai flinched away from her like she had just turned into a horrendous monster. "WHY-ON-EARTH-WOULD-I-NEED-TO-KNOW-HOW-TO-DANCE?!" he blurted.

Hani gave him a shocked look, "You don't even know how to dance?"

Gai crossed his arms defensively -- this stance was quickly becoming his new trademark expression for when he felt uncomfortable. "Of course I know how to dance. I am in the prime of my youth!" He lowered his voice, "I just don't know any of those … traditional dances."

"That should be fine, there are no women on this roster list so dancing will probably not be a part of the entertain –" Hani cut her statement short.

"Hani?"

She grabbed the clipboard and scanned over it quickly.

"What is it?" asked Gai as he leaned against the table.

"There are no women on this list."

Gai nodded, "I know, that's what you just said."

"No, Gai. There are no women on this list." She flipped to the last page, "Even the hired musicians are all men."

Gai shrugged, "So, what difference does that make?"

Hani leaned back and drummed her nails on the clipboard. "Gai, what do you think 30 men consisting of old warhawks, merchants and soldiers do when they get together at a banquet?"

Gai considered her question for a moment, "They eat, drink … and …"

"Tell war stories, brag about crooked deals they got away with and …" she nodded her head in his direction, indicating she wanted him to finish her sentence.

He stared at her blankly, not knowing what to say.

"… Expect to be entertained," she finished.

"But the musicians –"

"Will be the equivalent to elevator music to these people," interrupted Hani.

Hani's eyes moved back and forth a few times as she considered the situation; her partner watched her quietly. Suddenly, her eyes shot to Gai's, "We need to talk to Oda."

-------------------------------------- // --------------------------------------

Oda shifted nervously as he sat at the small table Gai and Hani had set up in the office.

He chose not to question them on the garbage bin and the familiar porcelain contents inside …

Hani smiled sweetly, "Oda?" She handed him the clipboard, "Why are there no women on this list?"

The servant took the offered item and looked between the two ninja. Something about being analyzed by two people who were trained to kill unsettled him – imagine that. "It is because … because the women counterparts to these men are not invited."

"Why?" asked Gai, furrowing his brows.

"Because it's …" he hesitated, not liking where this was going. "It's because this event is considered a 'Men's Night Out'."

Hani smiled in understanding, "A few days away from the women folk, to sow their wild oats. Am I right?"

"Oh, we don't allow sowing of any oats here, Madam. That is, we don't provide any – 'soil' to sow in. Some of the men bring their own 'private entertainment'. Lord Hakanza actually encourages it – not ever wanting to marry himself."

'There's a shocker,' thought Hani.

"But they are not allowed at the banquet?" asked Gai.

Oda shook his head, "No Sir."

Hani, not wanting to take the direct approach, asked Oda another question, "And how long is the banquet?"

"From 6pm to 10pm, Madam."

"That's four hours, Oda. How do you expect these guests to sit for that long?"

"Our food is delectable," offered Oda with enthusiasm.

Hani smiled to Gai, "Oh, I'm sure it is and the wine will be truly exquisite. But they surely won't eat for four hours. What are they expected to do for entertainment?"

"We have hired musicians –"

"Oda," said Gai. Though he didn't possess Hani's social skills, even he could tell the man was dodging the question.

"What … is tonight's … entertainment?" asked Hani as clearly as she could.

Oda slumped his shoulders in defeat, "You are, Madam."

Hani rolled her eyes and sighed. It was just as she feared.

"What? Hani?" Gai was confused, "How is she suppose to be the entertainment?"

Oda cleared his voice, "All of Lord Hakanza's oirans are expected to entertain the guests on these monthly banquets. It's partly why he hires oirans and not courtesans."

"Oirans?" asked Gai. "You mean geisha?"

"Not exactly," answered Hani. "Oirans are like geisha, but they also perform sexual acts, whereas geisha discourage it. Courtesans, on the other hand, are hired exclusively for sex."

Gai jumped from his seat, "Hani will do no such thing! I am in charge of this mission and I will not put her in a position where she will be deflowered! It is degrading!"

Oda cowered under the man's towering form, "She isn't expected to fornicate with anyone, only entertain the guests!"

Hani grabbed her teammates arm and pulled him down before he went on a tirade, "It's alright Gai – it will be fine." She turned to Oda, "What have the oirans done in the past?"

Oda considered her question for a moment, "Some have performed music, some have sung, others have danced."

Hani nodded, this wasn't going to be too difficult then.

Oda appeared to be lost in thought, "There was even one … Lord Hakanza couldn't find an oiran in time for a banquet so he hired the most beautiful courtesan he could find." He blushed, "She did a pole dance."

Gai reacted without thinking, "YOSH!"

Hani pointed a disciplinary finger at her teammate and gave him a stern look, "No." Then turned to Oda and did the same, "Absolutely not. I have trained years in court etiquette, music and performance. I will not betray my teachers or myself by becoming an ecdysiast."

Both Oda and Gai turned to Hani simultaneously, "A what?"

"A stripper!" she said, flustered.

"Well, I uh …" mumbled Oda with a pained expression on his face. He clearly didn't want to correct her, but it was critical he said something.

This time Gai and Hani turned to Oda simultaneously, "What?!"

"I'm afraid there is a certain … dress code required for your performance."

Hani rubbed the vein that threatened to burst from her forehead – she was afraid to ask, "What 'dresscode'?"

"There should be an outfit in your room, in the closet," said Oda meekly. "I'm sure you've spotted it by now."

Hani's eyes shifted to the side as she tried to remember what the servant was talking about. "Oh!" she said as realization hit her. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"What is it?" asked Gai.

"This 'outfit'," added Hani with a bit of venom. "Is a pitiful excuse for a kimono. It is sleeveless and the skirt would just barely cover my buttocks!"

"Oh, and it comes with lingerie to be worn under it as well," added Oda with a matter-of-fact tone.

Hani raised her hand to silence him, "Please. That outfit has been worn by countless girls. I don't know, nor do I want to know, what kind of booty-cooties they had. I'll supply my own undergarments, thank you."

"You're going to wear it?" asked Gai, a bit aghast.

"Well, first – if it fits, then yes. I don't want to raise any suspicion by being the first woman in who-knows-how-long to not wear this 'traditional kimono'. But I doubt it will fit me – I have to get my clothing specially tailored for a reason."

Both men knew what she was referring to without having to ask.

"Alright Gai, let's take a break. I need to prepare a few things for my 'curtain call'," Hani said the last bit without trying to hide her irritation.

Just as the ninja stood to leave, Oda offered his finger up to them again – something he did when speaking earnestly or when breaking very bad news to them. "I'm afraid there is one other thing I forgot to mention …"

Hani, whose patience had all but completely worn away, sprung towards the man, "Imma kill em!"

Gai did the best he could to hold the nearly raving woman from thrashing the absentminded servant.

With her partner pining her arms behind her head, Hani wagged her foot at Oda threateningly. "So help me, if you leave one more thing out --!"

Gai was glad she didn't finish her threat. Though, truth be told, he was seriously considering letting the woman rip the man apart. His 'forgetfulness' was beginning to wear on him as well. The only thing keeping him from losing his own composure was the fact that after this most recent meeting, he was starting to think he had the easy job for the evening.

Once Hani had regained her composure, she let Gai help her return to her seat, but this time Gai sat close to her side making it easy to grab her if need be (or vica versa).

Oda spoke clearly, but cautiously, "Lord Hakanza has three very close friends who will be at the banquet tonight."

Hani skewed her eyes shut. This is what she had feared most about the evening and had hoped the arrow had been dodged.

"These men started off as footmen together with Lord Hakanza and they had quickly formed a bond. Lord Hakanza was like the leader of their little 'gang'. However, shortly after the four joined the army, their master died, leaving them all ronins. Lord Hakanza was the only one of the four able to find a new leader who would hire him. These other three men became ronin mercenaries. If anyone is expected to converse with you, Sir -- it will be these three."

"What are their names and what do they look like?" asked Gai.

"Their names are: Yamada, Sugi and Kazuo. Don't ask me which is which, because I honestly can't tell the difference."

"What do you mean?" asked Hani.

"They often go under the guise of monks. All of their heads are shaven and their facial features are very similar."

"Why do they pose as monks?"

"They are mercenaries, disguising themselves as monks allow them to get away with a lot of things most ronin wouldn't."

"What should I do if they talk with me?" asked Gai, concern in his voice.

Oda held his finger up as he stood and walked to Hakanza's desk. He fished into his pockets, pulling out a brass key. After opening a locked drawer, he pulled out a large scroll. "This is the memoires of Hakanza while he was a soldier and samurai. This will be your best bet at educating yourself on these men."

Gai stood and walked to the desk. He took the scroll from Oda and began to unroll it. "Thank you, Oda." He smiled at the servant and gave him a thumb up, "This should be very helpful."

Oda bowed, "Glad to be of service. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"You're not leaving anything else out, are you Oda?" asked Hani in a somewhat threatening tone.

"No Madam, I believe that is all."

"Good," she sighed. "We'll call you when we need you."

"Very good," and with that, the servant excused himself from the room.

Hani adjusted her kimono as she stood, "Gai? Do you need anything from me before I go?"

Gai looked over his shoulder to her, "What are you going to do?"

She placed her hands on her hips, "Plan my 'performance' for tonight."

"You could always play your erhu," suggested Gai.

Hani cocked her head, how did he know? She shrugged it off, "I'll think of something."

"What if that outfit doesn't fit?"

She paused before exiting the room. "Again, I'll think of something," she shrugged.

-------------------------------------- // --------------------------------------

"HUN-GAH!" huffed Hani as she did the best she could to cinch the top of her new 'work uniform'. She emptied her lungs of all vital air in a futile attempt at gaining just a bit more room to tie off the last part. "There!" she said, finally relaxing and breathing again. The string lasted less than a second before it snapped under the pressure. "Damn it!" she cursed. "The one freaking thing that isn't small about my body – always such a damn nuisance!" She looked in the mirror. The 'V' of the dress was high enough to fully cover her, but was dipping dangerously low. Fortunately, the binding she had tied around herself covered what the dress did not; though, it unfortunately made her cleavage look out of control. She turned around and looked over her shoulder; at least the dress covered her butt. But if she were to, say, bend over and poor someone a drink, any person behind her would get a free peepshow. 'Damn that Hakanza,' she thought. 'Such a pervert.'

She paced her room a few times as she went over her 'performance' in her head. She had originally thought of playing her erhu, like Gai had suggested, but she didn't think that would go over well – they would probably ask for more eventually. So, she decided she would just get it over with as fast and hopefully, as painlessly as possible. But in all honesty, this wasn't remotely as bad as some things she's had to do in the past. She's been assigned undercover missions in brothels so seedy; it would probably make Hakanza blush. She shuddered, trying to shake the memories from her mind.

She grabbed an uchikage (kimono-like overcoat) and pulled it on; the collar just barely covering her shoulders. She then tied it closed with a sash she used as a makeshift obi. She didn't bother looking in the mirror; she already knew how bad it looked.

She walked to her door, 'I had better check on, Gai. He might need help getting ready for tonight.' She walked barefoot across the small courtyard garden to his room. She shivered slightly as a cool autumn breeze swept under her skirt. She knocked gently on his door, "Gai? It's Hani."

"Come in!" she heard him call.

She opened the door and stepped in, "I thought you might need some hel – HOLY SHIT!" she cried. Her body froze in shock as she stared wide-eyed at her partner.

He had a confused look, "What's wrong?"

Hani couldn't speak. All she could do was let her eyes scan Gai up and down. He was wearing his green jumpsuit again, but only up to his waist leaving his chest exposed. But this wasn't what caught Hani off guard. He was standing in the middle of his room with one leg planted firmly against the ground and the other at a 180-190° angle in the air. One hand he used to balance himself while the other held the ankle of his up-stretched leg. His torso was only slightly bent to the side.

"What?" asked Gai with big eyes.

She regained her composure, "N-nothing. I've just never seen a man able to hold that position before."

"What position? Oh! You mean this?" He dropped his leg, "HA! It is vital to keep my body at top shape to minimize injury." He planted the other leg, leaned to the side slightly and brought his other leg up into the same stretched position. He did it all effortlessly. "This is nothing special. As you know, it is required of all ninja that they be able to perform both front and side splits. Though," he brought his hand to his mouth like he was whispering a secret to her. "I do it a bit better than most."

She blinked in amazement, "I can see that."

"Can you not do this too? Was it not a requirement of your tutoring?"

"Of course I can. I've just never seen a man do it before."

He gave her a thumb up, "I'm happy to further your education on the ability of the male shinobi."

She furrowed her brows, "But, why are you wearing your bodysuit?"

He brought his other leg down and blushed slightly, "It aids me in my performance."

"Aids you?" she walked over to his bed and sat down. "Do tell."

"It …" he looked at her and then averted his eyes. "This suit 'holds' things in a comfortable position."

Hani smiled as she realized what he meant, "Ah. I see." She looked him up and down and gave him a small grin, "I don't know if anyone has told you this or not Gai, but that bodysuit doesn't really leave much to the imagination."

He puffed his chest out proudly, "Yes, it shows off my youthful and manly physique quite well, doesn't it?!" He struck a pose and flexed like a body builder.

Hani shook her head, "That's not exactly what I'm referring to."

"Then what --?"

She waved her hand, "Nevermind. Please continue with what you were doing." This was probably one of those moments when 'ignorance was bliss'.

Gai shrugged her off. He stretched his arms above his head and then leaned back; bending his torso till his hands reached the floor behind him like a 'bridge'. He then kicked his legs up and over his body and did a straddle split while he balanced in a handstand. Then he bent at the waist, bringing his legs down to either side of his arms as he brought his head up and straightened his torso. Other than his hands, nothing touched the floor.

"Wow," said Hani, completely mesmerized. The gymnastic move he had just performed showcased every muscle in his upper body beautifully.

"Did you say something?"

"N-nothing!" she said trying to shake off her reverie.

Without any visible effort, Gai leaned forward and returned his legs to the air, bending them at the knees. He then balanced on his thumbs and did a few handstand pushups.

She gawked at him while her head bobbed up and down in sync to his rhythm.

Gai grunted, "What does your daily exercise routine consist of, Hani?"

"My what?"

He pushed off the ground and kicked his legs underneath him in a half flip. "Your daily exercise routine. I might have a few suggestions that would help build your strength."

"Oh, my exercise routine is pretty complicated," she lied. "I don't think it would be a good idea for me to change it. It's been specially designed for the Hachi women."

Gai's eyebrows shot up, "Oh really? Excellent! Do you mind showing me a bit of this training technique?"

"What?"

"If it's specially designed for women, then perhaps I could teach Tenten some of the moves so it will help her be an even better kunoichi."

"Oh, it's um … " she tried to come up with an excuse quickly. "It's a 'secret' technique."

Gai was crestfallen, "All of the best training is secret."

Hani stood from the bed and walked to the closet. "Have you decided what you are going to wear?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't pick up on her trying to change the subject.

He went to the ground and started to do pushups, "I figured you would pick that out."

"Hmmm," she said as she thumbed through Hakanza's clothing. "Something that isn't green."

"What's wrong with green?" he asked between his reps.

"No offense, Gai. But if I see you in green on more time, I'm going to gag."

"But green is a –"

"Youthful color. Yes, I realized that." She pulled out a pair of black hakama pants and tossed them on the bed. "Hmmm, either red or … oh!" she reached into the back of the closet. "Purple. Perfect!"

"Purple? I look terrible in purple."

"It's the color of royalty, Gai. It will look very regal on you."

Gai stood up and looked at her from over his shoulder. From the moment he started to stand, Hani's world fell into slow motion. His sweat moistened brow; his toned muscles, more so now from the exercise; his heavy breath escaping from slightly parted lips; the way he pulled his slumped shoulders back into his perfect posture; looking at her through half closed eyes; the way he tented his eyebrows slightly as he asked, "Regal?"

Hani just stood there, completely stupefied.

"Hani?" asked Gai, tenting his brows even more.

When she didn't answer him for the second time, he grew concerned and walked to her side. "Are you alright?" He brought the back of his hand to her forehead, "You have a fever!"

Hani jumped, regaining her senses. "Uh … I uh --"

He took her arm and started to lead her to the bed, "Maybe you should lie down?"

She resisted, "No, I'm fine I just – uh –"

He looked into her eyes and placed a hand to her cheek, "You're burning up, Hani."

That wasn't surprising; she could feel all of her blood rushing to her face.

She jerked away from his hand, threw the kimono into his arms and ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. "I just – I just need a minute!" she cried.

Gai was on her heels. "Hani?" he asked from the other side of the door. "Hani, are you alright? Is your stomach upset?"

Hani ran some cold water over a towel she found and immediately started patting herself with the cool cloth. WHAT had gotten into her? She was a professional seductress, and here she was getting all hot and bothered by a guy who doesn't even have the word 'seduction' in his vocabulary.

"Hani? Are you ill?"

Was she deprived? Sure, sexual intimacy to her was work and she would be lying if she said any man she had ever been with was for pleasure – but this had never been a problem before. Why now?

"Are you having womanly troubles? Do you need me to get something from your room?" asked Gai in a hushed voice.

She thumped the door with a fist, "Damn it, Gai. You're not helping!"

There were a few moments of silence from Gai's side of the doorway; enough time for Hani to fully regain her senses. 'It must be just a hormonal thing,' she though. 'Yeah, that's got to be it,' she sighed.

"Hani? I don't mean to be rude, but I need to take a shower before the banquet."

"Sorry Gai." She swallowed her nerves. "I'm coming out," she said as she opened the door.

He stepped aside, "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah," she huffed.

"Are you over whatever it was?"

"Gods, I hope so," she sighed.

"Good." He walked past her to the bathroom. "I'll just be a minute," he said as he shut the door.

Hani walked over to his bed and sat down; trying to push the earlier thoughts from her mind. 'Get over it, Hani. Just chill. It's nothing – you'll be fine.' She heard Gai humming some tune from the bathroom, but decided to ignore it. 'You're just hormonal, or something. You haven't gotten the best sleep and this mission is just getting to you. You're being taken by too many surprises and it's just throwing you off guard.' The sound of the shower turning on caught Hani's attention – the sound wasn't muffled at all. She looked at the door and noticed, much to her dread, that it was still open by a few inches.

She could feel her temperature rise as the gap taunted her. "Peak through me!" it whispered.

'Damn it!' She thought. 'The man can barely reign in his strength to keep from shattering a teacup, but he can't put forth enough effort to shut a damn door?!'

"Peak through me! You know you want to!"

She crossed her arms and legs with an "hmph"!

"Come on," it teased. "What harm could it do?"

Hani gritted her teeth. One part of her was saying, 'Absolutely not!' While the other part said, 'What harm would it do?'

She stomped her foot, 'Screw it! It wouldn't hurt just to take a little peak.'

Her first step brought a creak from the floor. "Don't do it! It's a trap!" it said.

"Shut up, Floor!" said the door.

She took every step at a painful pace; she even suppressed her chakra so he wouldn't sense her by the door. Each step made her heart race faster – thumping in her ears. She placed one gentle hand on the doorway and slowly leaned in. Her heart was fluttering like a bird and she had to swallow hard to keep from choking on the tension. She looked through the crack and tried to make out what lay beyond the steam. She could see Gai's unmistakable jet black hair, a raised arm as he scrubbed his side, a toned back and an even firmer –

"Madam?"

"GAH!" cried Hani as she jumped nearly two feet off the ground. She whirled around, planting her back against the wall; grabbing at her heart. "ODA!"

The servant gave her a knowing grin, "I came to fetch you both. It is almost time for the banquet to begin."

Hani was still trying to catch her breath when Gai burst through the door, "Hani! I heard you scream?!" She brought a hand to her blushing face, shielding him from her eyes.

Oda looked Gai up and down; the ninja must have been in the middle of his shower. "Sir, could I fetch you a towel?"

--

Thank you, for reading!