It is after the funeral that I start having nightmares. Faceless people in black break through my bedroom door, their arms outstretched as they reach for me, trying to obtain some sort of grasp on me as I run. Emily and Truman simultaneously call me on the phone and laugh loudly every time I try to talk.

Then there are the Derek dreams. Ones where I recreate the accident all in my head, only anything I imagine is far worse than the realistic outcome was. One dream involves a man with white eyes and blood-stained clothes chasing after Derek in his car and repeatedly ramming into him. Another contains a stormy night where lightning strikes every tree in Derek's path, one finally hitting the target and ruthlessly crushing Derek's car.

And then there are the scariest nightmares of all… the ones where I see my own reaction to his death… the most realistic dreams. I watch myself turn pale white, suffocating and crying out for Derek to return. I see myself take a razor from the bathroom medicine cabinet and then-

I wake up in a cold sweat, tears pouring down my face. I hold myself, rocking back and forth in a slow, soothing rhythm. It's in these moments that I wish for someone to hold, someone to take me in their arms and let me cry as long as I want. But ghost Derek can only stand over me, looking down as if he wants nothing more than to disappear. He doesn't. And I'm grateful for that. But for once, I'd like the real Derek to lean over my bed and embrace me.

The real part that scares me is that my dreams might become reality. If I do so in my dreams, who's to say I won't do so in real life? Is it true that I really want to die more than I want to live? To be… somehow reunited with Derek and feel his touch again? I try not to think about it too much.

Because the answer is yes.

'Hi, is this Ralph? Yeah, it's me, Casey.'

I call him about a week or so after the funeral. To me, time doesn't matter anymore. I hope he can give me some sort of comfort that I haven't received yet. I don't know… it's just a feeling I have.

Ghost Derek looks at me as if I'm crazy. 'Ralph? Really?' he asks, rolling his eyes. 'Can't you do better than that?'

I give him the shh symbol before turning my attention back to the person on the other line.

'Casey! Hey! I thought you'd never call!' Ralph's deep voice sounds in my ear and somehow I already feel a little bit better.

'Yeah, well I think I want to talk about… you know…' I pause for a moment before adding 'Derek' because Ralph actually might not know what we're talking about.

'Do you still miss him?' Ralph asks. 'Because it's okay if you do. I still do.'

I hesitate, my hands shaking as I lower myself onto my bed and begin to cry. 'Yeah. I miss him a lot.' The tears come spilling out of my eyes and ghost Derek makes a face. 'I don't know what to do anymore, Ralph.' I tell him, honestly.

'It's alright. I don't know what to do half the time. That's why I got a D in crafts class last year.'

I feel a tickling sensation rise up in my throat and for the first time in ages, I laugh. It's rather wet and I'm left choking, but it's a laugh none the less. Derek stares angrily at me, his eyebrows furrowed. I ignore him. Shouldn't he be glad that I'm happy for once? 'Thanks Ralph.' I say, holding the phone close to my ear. 'I really needed to talk to someone.'

'No problem! Although I thought I heard a buffalo dying on the other end. Is everything okay over there?'

'Yes! Everything's fine.' I don't know whether to be offended or crack up hysterically. 'Maybe we can have lunch together someday.' I don't know where the thought comes from, but it sounds good in my mind. Ralph seems to be the only one who actually helps me… besides Derek.

'That sounds rockin!' says Ralph excitedly. 'How about tomorrow?'

'…Sure.' Derek gawks at me as if I have horns growing out of my head.

"You know I'm going with you on that date."

"It's not a date! It's a friendly get-together!"

"God… didn't I teach you anything?! Girls and guys cannot be friends."

"Ralph has a girlfriend, Derek!"

"But he liked your shoes!"

"Oh my gosh, just let me leave!"

Derek protests with me as I go to walk out the door. Lizzie comes down stairs and asks me who I'm talking to. I lie to her and say I was just on the phone. She asks- with who? And I say Truman. She gives me a reproachful glance as I wave goodbye to her and I'm on my way to Smelly Nellie's to meet with Ralph.

That is, I think I'm on my way until a white figure materializes before me, and I nearly jump out of my skin. "WHAT?" I yell at him.

"I'm just going to follow along and monitor your date, that's all." I glare at him. "Um, before you give me that look, just know that I have your best interests at heart!"

"Sure!" I shout. "I'm sure you do!" I get into George's car and slam the door. "Sometimes I wish you would just disappear forever!" I mumble, turning up the radio as loud as it gets.

But I don't really mean it. I would never wish for Derek to disappear…

'Hi Casey!' Ralph waves at me from a booth and I smile, making my way over to him.

'Hi. How are you?' I sit down, carefully smoothing my skirt down beneath me.

'Pretty good. I mean sort of good. I'm still upset, you know. But enough about me. How are you holding up?' He seems nervous for some reason.

'I'm okay…' And then he shows up, happily sliding into the booth next to me. I huff and turn away from him. 'I mean, I was okay! Until someone showed up and decided to invade my privacy!' Derek smirks.

'Um, who are you talking about?' questions Ralph. 'A little old lady just walked in, but I don't think she's here to invade your privacy…'

'I'm sorry Ralph.' I apologize. 'It's just that… can I trust you with a secret?'

'Of course!'

I decide to tell him the truth, even if he thinks I'm a loony. But somehow, I don't think he will. 'I just… keep seeing Derek. Everywhere. Like… a ghost or something.'

'Are you serious?' Derek says, irritated and shifting beside me. 'You're telling Ralph your secret?'

'And I keep hearing Derek too. Unfortunately.' I say quietly, through my teeth.

'Woah…' Ralph stares off into the distance. 'That's so… epic.' I raise my eyebrows. Derek gets up and walks over to another table, throwing his hands up in defeat.

'You don't think I'm crazy?' I ask, smiling a bit.

'No way! You're so lucky!' He seems to drift back to reality and looks at me, his eyes gleaming. 'Boy, I would give anything to have my best friend back and with me all the time.'

'Wow that's so… sweet.' I barely notice the waitress as she comes over and asks us what we would like. I get some coffee and Ralph orders a milkshake. It's almost normal. This thing with him. I feel like I have a best friend again. My eyes start to well up at the thought, and I feel an arm around my shoulder.

'Still thinking about him?' I look up and see Ralph, a comforting look on his face.

'Yeah. I just really miss my best friend.'

'Me too.' Then, before it can even sink in, Ralph is leaning over and his lips are inches from mine. My heart is pounding, and I see ghost Derek running over to us, furious.

'Um, what about Amanda?' I ask nervously, slowly inching away.

'What about her?' Ralph is still moving ever closer.

'Oh, hell no!' Derek yells angrily. 'Get away from her!' And then he realizes Ralph can't hear him. 'Get away from him, Casey!

'Sorry Ralph, gotta go! I have a curfew!' I practically jump over Ralph and out of the booth, yanking my purse open and throwing some loose change on the table for my coffee. I run out of Smelly's, Derek tailing close behind while Ralph is left to stare blankly at the wall.

'How could he? How dare he?! Lucky thing I was there. Trying to put his hands on you… Oh man. He's so sick. He's so dumb. He has a girlfriend!'

Derek rambles and rants all the way home about Ralph. I just nod my head and pretend to agree with him. Pretend. That's the frightening thing. Because for a moment there, I almost wanted Ralph to kiss me.

AN: YAHOO! I finally updated, guys! I figured I owed it to you guys. After a week of acting camp and a week with no power cord / summer assignments, I was finally able to write this! I hope you liked it. Um yeah, not much Dasey this chapter but I'm thinkin that there will be a lot next chapter! Thanks SO much for reading. I'll try to reply to all my reviewers for last chapi and this one too!

PS: I love you Emily! :P