One night Derek asked me to pick him up from work. It was dark outside, the kind of obscure darkness where you can't see anything except what's right ahead of you. The road seemed to wind on forever. I had to be alert or I was bound to crash.

When I finally got to the restaurant, all the lights were out. My first reaction was angry. Derek was probably pulling some ridiculous stunt on me, like always. I sat in the car for ten minutes, just waiting for him to pop out of the trees in a gorilla costume or something.

Ten minutes… then I was genuinely worried, rushing out of The Prince and into Smelly Nelly's. There was one dim light coming from the kitchen and I approached cautiously. My heart dropped to my stomach when I found Derek.

He and Sally were locked in a tight embrace, their arms around each other, their lips moving simultaneously. I let them be for a moment, studying their motions. I had never seen Derek kiss any girl like that… My mouth was dry, my throat burning. I don't think I could have spoke if I wanted to; I was routed to the spot.

Finally they broke apart, Derek reaching into his pocket for his phone. He flipped it open.

"Crap. Casey's probably waiting for me! See ya, Sal." He barely gave a backwards glance at Sally before heading out the kitchen door… running straight into me.

"Holy sh-" Derek took a deep breath. "How long have you been standing there, creepy?"

"I just got here." I lied.

I remember that night, the way Derek's lips looked on Sally's, how his arms encircled her waist. I always would imagine myself as her, imagine how Derek's lips would feel, full on mine. Maybe we would mesh together a bit better than him and Sally. Maybe I would lace my fingers through his perfect hair. Maybe he would caress my cheeks with his fingers and my skin would burn pleasantly against his touch.

I still imagine it. I still try to make myself think that it happened. But the thing that kills me the most, the fact that eats me up inside… is that it can never happen now…

Paul has certainly never had a case like mine. A psychotic girl who keeps seeing her dead stepbrother… who she just so happens to be in love with.

I give a silent thanks that all the information shared during my session is confidential, and Mom, George, and the kids will never find out about it.

Mom comes to pick me up and Derek is by my side once again, his mouth still ajar.

"I. Cannot. Believe. You said that!" He looks like he's going to laugh, but I shoot him my most terrifying glare. He shuts up.

Paul waves goodbye to me, his face pale and unnerved.

I really hope Mom pays him enough for this job…

"How was it?" Mom asks when we're in the car. Derek chokes.

"Good." I say. I'm not lying. Things that had been bottled up for the longest time finally came to the surface.

"I'm glad, Casey." Mom places a hand on her ever-growing stomach and smiles. "You know, no one can ever replace Derek, but I'm so thankful for this new baby coming. We really need that in our lives, I think."

I feel a little sick for a moment, never having given much thought to the baby before. I was too concerned with Derek. It's hard to fathom a birth happening so quickly after a death.

She's right, though. No one can replace Derek.

I have the sudden urge to punch something, furious that Derek doesn't even get the chance to see the new baby, furious that Mom would even consider the baby a solution for Derek's death. How can she be happy? I clench my fists.

"Case, are you okay?" Derek asks from the backseat.

I don't even give a nod.

I'm out with Ralph, (and a disgruntled Derek chugging along behind us.) We're in the park and there's a light breeze in the trees. The summer heat melts my vanilla ice cream, and I lick the stickiness off my fingers. I feel like a little kid, but then again, I always feel this way around Ralph.

Much to Derek's dismay, we're reminiscing about D-Rock and Derek's face before we went out on stage for the first time.

"He was totally going to puke on stage." Ralph says, throwing his head back in laughter.

"Lucky thing I came through for him, huh?" I giggle, strands of hair falling out of my messy ponytail.

"Pretty funny, huh, D?" Ralph asks, patting the back of the bench beside him and gazing thoughtfully at nothing.

I snort as Derek rolls his eyes. "Hello, I'm over here! He can't even see me!"

I finish off my ice cream cone. "I haven't been this happy in a long time." And suddenly the air around us grows heavy.

"Why not, Casey?" Ralph asks, his tone genuinely concerned. "Derek would want you to be happy."

"How do you know what I would want?" Derek mumbles beside me, his arms crossed.

"How can I be happy when he's not here? It's so… selfish." I say, ignoring Derek.

"Don't you think it's selfish to stay sad?" Ralph asks, his eyes wandering on an ant carrying part of a potato chip across the pavement, struggling to stay upright. "To make the rest of your family suffer? To stay in your own misery and not at least try to move on?"

I don't say anything. As soon as Ralph's eyes leave that damn ant, I smash it flat on the ground. Put it out of its misery.

"You don't have to forget… in order to be happy." Ralph says.

"I love you too, Case." We're driving home now, just Derek and me, when he says it. The darkness around us reminds me of the day I went to pick him up from work. But this time I don't bother slowing down to see where I'm going.

"What?" I ask, as if I didn't just hear his confession in the first place. He did say it really softly.

"I love you too, okay?"

I want to scream. I want to scream the 'f' word as loud as I possibly can into the night. Because it's the only word that comes anywhere close to how I'm feeling.

"That just makes things harder!" I settle for yelling this instead, my hands clinging to the steering wheel in frustration. "For a while, in the park with Ralph, right after Paul's session with me, I thought things were going to be okay!"

"Casey, calm down." Derek looks ghostly white… okay, more so than usual. His hands grip the arm rests on either side of his seat. "I just thought you should know."

"God, you thought I should know, did you?" I start to lose it. He doesn't understand… doesn't get how this complicates things. "Because knowing that makes things so much better. Because I can't even kiss you! Because I can't even touch you! Because I can't even really tell you how I feel because you're not fucking real!"

It comes out. I let the vile words escape from my lips, tears cascading from my eyes.

"Casey…" Derek starts.

"What?" I yell angrily, swerving dangerously on the road.

"I can't do anything about that." He says calmly, obviously trying to help me in my enraged state. "I came back because I love you. I came back to help you cope. And I want you to be happy no matter what." He gulps, letting go of the arm rests as I slow down. "Even if that means…" He hesitates. "Being with Ralph."

"I don't want Ralph." I say quickly. Ralph is sweet, caring… but he's no Derek.

"Even if that means getting over me." Derek continues.

I don't say anything. How can I get over him? I stare silently at the road ahead of us, a bend approaching. My hands turn the wheel…

"Damn. This is where I crashed." Derek says, and for a split second I take my eyes off the road and let them linger on his face.

"Casey, what're you-"

A split second is all it takes. We're veering off the course of the road. I scream. We crash headfirst into a giant tree. My head lurches forward, right into the steering wheel, the airbags deploying a second too late. Everything is black.

But somewhere in the darkness I feel arms encircle my waist and hold me tight…

AN: I fully intended for this to be the last chapter. Yeah. No. Apparently my brain thinks otherwise. ;) I'm sorry I made you all wait so long for this update! Thank you all so much for your kind words on the last chapter. I really hope I'm doing Emily's video justice! If you have the time, please review. I appreciate it!

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY EMILY! This update is 1/3 of your bday present! xD I wanted to upload now because I don't know if I'm going to get part of your gift done before I go to Florida. -_- But I promise your other gifts are far less depressing… lol! I LOVE YOU!