Chapter 15

Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're alone all you do is think

--"Wanted Dead or Alive," by Bon Jovi

Lana gave Paul a gentle poke. "Wake up, sleeping beauty," she teased.

"Huh? Shit, sorry about that. Were you saying something?"

"Not really, just getting things in order for the house shows this coming weekend and of course, next Monday night too."

Paul groaned. "I don't even see the point in even leaving the house on Monday nights anymore."

Oh shit, here we go again, Lana, she thought.

"It's part of your job, and you love your job, remember?"

Paul rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I really enjoy sitting on my ass backstage for three or four hours every week or taping Heat. This time last year, Spanky and I were tag champions for almost a year, and now we're stuck with this shit. Fuck shit fuck, I hate being a jobber/Heat wrestler."

"Speaking of the devil, where is Brian this morning anyway? I'm surprised Kim hasn't come in here screaming for him."

"Your guess is good as mine. Probably being equally pissed off somewhere. I got to sit on my ass backstage and he got maybe a two minute segment of being in Show's posse. Woohoo, big career move."

"Look, I know it can be frustrating," Lana said, putting her arms around his neck, "but you had slow and jobber moments before all of this too. As much as it may have also driven you crazy then, you hung in there and it eventually paid off. Don't even think about giving up this time, because you never know what's around the corner."

"Release notice?" he guessed.

"Don't even think like that, mister!"

"At the rate I've been rolling lately, it's only a matter of time, but I guess you're stuck with me nevertheless."

"Listen, I know it's frustrating, but let me tell you something right now. Whether you're a reigning champion or a jobber, I don't give a damn. I love you and I'm sticking by you until you're totally sick of me." She kissed his hair. "I mean it."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Do you honestly think I'd be here if I was only concerned about the pay? You are a delight to work for."

"Even when I'm a pain in the ass?"

"Even then. Trust me, I could be working for your partner and tearing my hair out. I'm surprised Kim has some sanity left."

He smiled. "Did I tell you today that I love you?"

"Only a hundred times," Lana replied, "but I never get tired of hearing it."

"Morning, darlings!" Brian's voice echoed in the corridor before he stuck his head in. "You too, PL."

"Jesus, you're alive," Paul said.

"Yeah, considering last night sucked ass."

"At least you got on TV."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Yippee, for about two or three whole minutes, and I didn't do anything except stand outside the ring and look like a dipshit. Wow, man, am I so at the height of my career or what? Why the fuck do we bother again?"

"You boys love your work and you know it," Lana replied.

"Oh yeah. Right. Anyway, either of you seen Kimberly?"

"Not yet. I'm shocked she hasn't tried to track you down," Lana said.

"Kimbo's probably enjoying the peace and quiet while she can before you drive her to the loony bin," Paul added.

"Ha ha ha. And fuck you too, PL."

"Good God, and I thought Paul was like a bear with a sore ass this morning," Lana sighed.

"Sorry, Red. I need some coffee. I was hoping Kim could go on a run for me."

"You have two feet and hands that aren't broken. If you can do it or get it yourself, don't you think you should?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, but that's what I pay Kimberly for."

"Jesus Christ, Spanky. She's a secretary, not your personal slave."

"Hey, I must be doing something right for her to stick with me for a year and a half."

"Yeah, nobody else wanted the job of putting up with your goofy ass."

They then heard Kim in the corridor talking to someone, causing Brian to perk up.

"KIMBERLY! Think you can make a run to Starbucks for your man?" he called out.

"Gee, Brian, why don't you just wait until I barely get in the damn door?"

"Because I'm dying here."

"Good, I'll get right on planning the funeral."

"Bitch."

"Ho."

"See what the hell I put up with?" Brian whined to Lana and Paul.

"That isn't even half of what she has to tolerate," Paul deadpanned, "and that's between the 300 days a year I have to put up with your ass."

"Thanks, PL, I love you too," Brian grinned.

Kim stuck her head in. "Okay, dumb ass, now that I have important business out of the way, what do you want from Starbucks?"

"The usual shit, and a piece of biscotti if they have any."

She then smiled over at the other two. "Hi, guys. Can I also get you something?"

"My usual too, Kimbo," Paul replied. "I'll make it easy on you."

"Just regular coffee for me," Lana added.

"Shit, you could get that down the hall, Red," Brian said. "Come on, live a little."

"Yeah, like I'd let any secretary of mine drink that fucking rotgut down the hall," Paul said. "Who the hell knows how long it's sat there, especially days when Carol didn't make it."

"Wow, you've gotten generous lately. Hey, Kim drinks it and she's still breathing."

"That's because your cheap ass rarely takes me anywhere," Kim retorted.

"Fine, get yourself something while you're at Starbucks, Kimberly."

"Fantastic! This one will go in the books! Anyway, I should be back in about twenty. You know the lines this time of the morning."

"And make sure the biscotti isn't a hundred years old this time," Brian added.

"Yes, Your Highness," Kim shot back before she left.

"How come you got the nice girl and I ended up with a mouthy heathen?" he asked Paul.

"Oh come on, dude, you're nuts about Kimbo and you know it. You wouldn't have kept her around if she was that bad."

"I have to agree," Lana added, nodding.

"Come to think of it, she does have a nice ass," Brian laughed.

"Spanky! Jesus."

"That and she can take a joke. She's even pretty good about getting actual work done too."

"You know her birthday's coming up," Lana reminded him.

"Aw, man. I guess this means I got to get her a card and one of those gift card thingys."

"For God's sake, Spank," Paul made a face. "I know you're a broke ass dude sometimes, but come on, you can do better than that. Kimbo busts her ass for you. Put some thought into something for a change, will you?"

"My idea is easier."

"Look, I'll even go with you to pick out something for her. Something that will shock the hell out of Kimbo and perhaps make her a little more grateful for working for you."

"You think?" Brian asked.

"Yeah. And I have some free time this afternoon. You game?"

"Okay, dude. Let's do it."

"Now that's the spirit," Lana smiled at both of them. "And I'm sure Kim will be thrilled."