Chapter 16

"You mean women actually go for this shit?" Brian asked as he and Paul stared in a jewelry case. "I thought dudes only bought this for their wives or something like that."

"You don't get out much, do you?" Paul inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"I ain't getting anything fancy. You're lucky I let you drag my ass here in the first place."

"Look; there's a nice silver chain with a few small, simple stones. If that doesn't speak Kimbo, nothing does."

"Whoa, let's not go nuts! I didn't say anything about agreeing to buy any rocks! You know the outcome from the last chick I gave one of those."

"Dude, they're three tiny stones, not the fucking Hope Diamond. Jesus."

A saleslady approached them, smiling and asking if they needed any assistance.

"Yeah, my clueless buddy here is shopping for a birthday present for his hard working secretary."

"Hard working? Exaggerate much, PL?"

Paul shot him a dirty look, and then turned back to the salesperson. "Could we have a better look at that silver chain with the stones in it?"

"Of course. This piece is thirty percent off today. It's our anniversary sale."

Brian perked up. "Thirty percent, huh?"

"Glad something got your attention," Paul said.

"Hey, we ain't exactly rolling in it like the higher up guys, you know. If it been up to me, I'd gotten her a $10 Starbucks gift card and some goofy Hallmark card by now. But no, you had to go all fancy and drag me here."

"Which you will thank me and Lana for royally later when Kim sees this thing. What do you think, dude? Seriously."

"Come to think of it, this isn't bad, PL. You really think she'll dig it?"

"Trust me, she'll both dig this and the effort you made to get her a decent gift. Now cough up the Visa."

"All right; you convinced me, and how can I pass up thirty percent off?" Brian handed the charge card over and waited for the sale to be completed.

Meanwhile, Paul had gone over to another display case, staring at one of the contents in it.

"Dude," Brian said. "We're done here."

"Not quite."

"What? Come on now; I told you let's not go nuts. I already spent enough money on Kim as it is."

"Actually, I wasn't thinking about Kimbo this time." Paul pointed at the object of interest. "You see that ring right there? It just reminded me of the one Lana told me about that her mami gave her when Lana was a teenager, and eventually hocked it to get more pills when she was addicted."

Brian gave a low whistle. "Wow, that's some serious shit, man."

"Yeah."

"Wait, don't tell me you're thinking about—"

"I'm getting it for her," Paul finished. "It may not be the original, but it looks pretty damn close."

"And it came from you. Want me to get the sales chick back? You might get thirty percent off too."

"Cheap midget," Paul made a face. "Anyway, yeah, go get her. I think my own secretary's due for a little gift of her own 'just because'."

"Yeah, 'just because' you want to get laid tonight."

Paul smacked Brian's head. "Go get the salesperson, Tweedle Dumb. Jesus."

Leave it to dude to have sex on the brain even in public, Paul thought, shaking his head and staring in the case again.

Soon, his own purchase was taken care of and they were on their way out of the store.

"What do you know, Spanky? You survived and it wasn't even all that painful, was it?"

"I guess not. Now I have to come up with a creative way to give this to Kimberly."

"Why don't you just leave it where she'll spot it or hand it to her like a normal person?"

"Because I'm not a normal person?"

"Wow, you finally got the memo? Seriously, dude, just give it to her. I'm sure in spite of she and you driving each other nuts, she'll appreciate it."

"You going to do the same for Lana?"

"Perhaps. I haven't decided yet."

"And you say I'm weird," Brian shook his head. "Come on, man, let's go eat. All this swanky shopping made me hungry and I got to get Kimberly some lunch anyway."