There are pictures and links to accompany this chapter on the NS&SS blog (link on my profile page)

Thanks as always to my friends Nikki and Dani for their encouragement and ideas.

Also to Angelz1114577 & Whitlocked from PTB for their beta'ing :o)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 14

Nahuel PoV

Sometime over the past few days, something had changed between Renesmee and me and we'd created a wonderful friendship. We laughed and joked a lot, sharing the same sense of humour; which had delighted me. We'd learned a lot about each other too. I answered questions about my homeland and the Mapuche culture, and Renesmee humoured me by answering question after question about her family and their history. I never tired of hearing about them, so many fascinating stories and characters, now brought together and living as they did.

I'd taken to calling Renesmee, 'Ayun', although it hadn't been a deliberate decision. Ayun was a Mapuche word meaning 'love'. It was made up of the concepts of beauty, light, and transparency. I hadn't consciously associated all of this with Renesmee previously, until one evening when we were sitting on the secluded pebble shore that separated the house from the water of the strait.

Renesmee had been questioning me about the Mapuche people and their culture. She had a remarkable memory and recalled Huilen telling the Volturi that my mother had named me Nahuel after the jaguar; the jungle cat. She asked me then what Mapuche word would describe her.

I looked at her, the evening sunlight bathing her pale skin in an orange glow, making it shimmer subtly. She was sitting cross-legged, picking up the pebbles absentmindedly and letting them drop back down, one by one, through her long, graceful fingers. Her head was tilted to one side, curls falling softly around her face as she awaited my answer; her warm, brown eyes relaxed and friendly, focused on my face.

It had taken only a moment to absorb this image of her. She had barely finished asking the question before I'd answered her.

"Ayun," I told her, aware as I said it how entirely right it was for her. She smiled and repeated it perfectly. I nodded to confirm she'd got it right.

"What does it mean?"

I panicked slightly, realizing that I couldn't tell her the precise meaning without it unsettling her and more than likely damaging the friendship we'd built.

"It means…beauty, light, and transparency," I told her hesitantly, waiting for her response.

"Transparency? You mean I'm easy to read?" She looked puzzled now and I couldn't help but smile at the way her brow had knitted together.

"No, no. Not transparency in that way. It's more about…" I searched for the right words. "Openness and growth." Her brow relaxed now, but she still appeared deep in thought. Eventually she nodded her head, appearing to have accepted the explanation I'd given her without further question.

Once I'd made the connection between Renesmee and 'ayun' in my mind, the two remained inseparable. Before the end of the evening, I'd called her it twice, only recognizing after I'd done it each time, when I caught the delighted look on her face. I was sure that this was as involuntary for her as my use of the word was for me.

We'd become closer physically too. No longer afraid to touch, we both indulged in contact with one another; a brush of the hand, a pat on the arm. There was never anything that would be obvious to anybody looking on; nothing that could be construed as more than friendship. For me though, there was more to it, and I was sure the same could be said for Renesmee too. Each time it happened, I felt it; not just on our skin, but as a current that surged through my body before dying away. I could tell that she felt it too; from the look deep in her eyes and the stutter I heard from her heart when it happened. Her reaction mirrored exactly how I was feeling, right down to the look of guilt that always passed briefly across her face immediately afterward. The difference was that hers was down to the wolf and mine was for putting her in a position that made her feel bad in this way. Still, it didn't stop either of us; the sensation was almost drug-like; so enthralling that we couldn't resist repeating it over and over.

I smiled now, thinking of the memories we'd built together while we'd been at Rosalie and Emmett's home. We'd spent some time all together, but mostly they'd left us to do our own thing. I wasn't naïve though, I was fully aware of how closely Rosalie was watching exactly what was going on between Renesmee and me.

Renesmee turned her head to me now as we walked along the shore, just a short distance from the house. She looked at me curiously as she noticed my face, her own mouth curving into a smile too. She tilted her head playfully.

"What are you smiling at?"

I smiled wider now, at being caught. I shrugged and looked away at a boat cutting through the water in the distance.

"I was just thinking how much I've enjoyed being here with you this week, Ayun." I sneaked a look back at her and was relieved to see that she was still smiling. I slowed slightly and became serious for a moment, feeling the need to explain myself further. "I mean, I'm sorry for coming and disrupting everything; for making things difficult for you with Jacob." She looked down now and I noticed she was biting her lower lip. I continued, needing to finish what I had started to say; hoping that she wouldn't be mad at me for it. "But honestly, it's been so good getting to know you that I can't say I regret coming to find you at all." She looked up at me again and I reached my hand out, my intention being to touch her lightly on her arm. She moved her own hand out and grasped mine; stopping as she did so and pulling me round so that I was in front of her. I looked down into her face. There was the slightest trace of a smile on her lips, but her eyes were intense as they looked into mine. She reached up with her free hand, still holding mine in her other one, and placed it on my cheek. I was surprised briefly. I knew all about her gift, but she'd never demonstrated it to me before.

As we stood there, the water lapping gently next to us, I closed my eyes while she showed me her version of the time we'd spent together. Although I'd been able to tell that she felt more or less the same as I did, I was still surprised at her memories. She showed me the times that our gazes had held and how it made her feel when I smiled at her. There were the jolts she experienced whenever we touched and there was an admission of how much she enjoyed it. I discovered we'd spent more time laughing than I'd realised and that she sneaked glances in my direction when I wasn't looking, much as I did with her. Then the images changed and I learned a lot more.

I saw that she thought about Jacob. A lot. I learned that despite this, she still felt guilty for not thinking about him more often. She wondered where he was and what he was doing and she wondered how much he was missing her. A lot of her time had been spent thinking about the sensations that she and I experienced when we had any sort of contact and wondering why she didn't have this sort of connection with Jacob. She was confused about some things, but she left me in no doubt that she loved him and that he loved her. This part in particular surprised me; he'd never shown me anything that indicated he thought of her as anything more than a possession. I felt a sudden pang of guilt for what I had done to both of them.

Finally, I saw the conflict as she battled in her head between the love she had for Jacob and the feelings she had for me. The very last thing she showed me was her decision. She needed to go home.

My heart sank in my chest, having seen what she'd just showed me, I knew it was the right thing for her to do. I felt her hand leave my face and I slowly opened my eyes. She was looking up at me, her pain clear to see in her eyes and the tears flowing freely down her face.

"I'm sorry Nahuel," she said, choking back a sob. "I've loved getting to know you; you have no idea how much I wish the circumstances could have been different. But I have to go home to Jake. You saw it there; you know I have to do this."

It broke my heart to see her like this, made worse by the fact that I'd put her in this situation in the first place. I pulled her to me and held her tight; trying to protect her, despite knowing that my arms were unable to shield her from the hurt inside her head.

"Sssh, Ayun, sssh," I attempted to soothe her as the sobs racked her body now. Her hands balled into fists around the fabric on the chest of my shirt and she buried her face in it, soaking the material with her tears.

It seemed to take an age, but eventually the sobs died away and she calmed down. She didn't move for a while, and then she gently pulled away, her face red and blotchy and her eyes swollen. I bent down slightly and lifted her chin gently with one hand, noticing that she had some strands of hair stuck to her face where it was wet with tears. Gently, I reached with the fingers of my other hand and pushed them back. We spent a long moment looking into each other's eyes until I bent forward and placed my lips on her cheek.

I moved my hand from underneath her chin and she lowered it slowly.

"Are you ok?" I asked her, my voice low. She sniffed and nodded. "Will you sit with me?" I gestured to the inclined strip of grass at the top of the shoreline where the pebbles ended. She turned her head to look and nodded again. I took her hand in a symbol of companionship and led her to the spot that I'd pointed out. I let go of her hand and we sat down side by side on the small slope. She looked exhausted so I shifted closer to her, putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her into me, until her head rested on me. We sat like that for a long time without speaking. I listened to her steady breathing and gently moved the arm I had around her so that my hand was rubbing the top of her arm, comfortingly. The sensations were still there, sparking every so often and running through me, but I knew now that it wasn't fair on either of us to acknowledge them. Instead I fought hard to try and ignore them and, as far as I knew, Renesmee was doing the same. She spent most of the time completely still, her eyes fixed on some unknown point in the distance. Every so often she would sigh and move slightly, almost as though she was trying to get closer to me. I bent and kissed the top of her head.

"Ayun?"

"Hmm?" She sounded almost sleepy in her acknowledgement.

"I've got a gift that I'd like you to have, if you'll accept it?" She pushed herself slowly away from me, sitting up as I moved my arm from around her. I straightened my leg so I could reach into my pocket, pulling out a red and black woven pouch and handing it to her. She took it from me slowly, glancing up at me as she did, before she looked back down at the pouch in her hand, turning it over and examining it.

"Weaving is important to the Mapuche people," I explained to her. "There are many designs that the women weave into clothing and they all have meanings." I watched as she traced the snake-like pattern with her finger.

"What does this one mean?" she asked, looking up at me, her face having nearly returned to normal I noted, although her eyes were still puffy.

"These lines here," I leaned over and pointed to the pattern and she looked down at it. "They represent arms; they're supposed to look as though they're hugging. It means care and love." She raised her head again and offered me a small smile, which I returned. "Go ahead," I encouraged her, nudging her with my elbow. "Open it."

She unbuttoned the pouch and opened it, peering in to see what was inside. She looked up at me questioningly for a brief moment, before she carefully tipped it up and slipped the contents out onto her hand. I watched her eyes widen as she took in the silver jewellery that lay in her palm, and started to unfold it.

"It was my mother's…" I began. She shook her head slowly from side to side.

"No, Nahuel," she gasped, looking up at me again. "I couldn't possibly take this." She looked down and made to fold it up again. I reached out my hand and put it on hers to stop her.

"No, please, Ayun. I want you to have it." Her eyes met mine and I could see she was still unconvinced. "Really, I have more. The Mapuche love their silver." I smiled at her and she looked from me to the jewellery and back again.

"But…"

"I insist. I'll be offended if you refuse to take it." I removed my hand from hers slowly and she looked down at the piece again, a smile forming on her lips now as she started to straighten it out on her hand. "The pin on the back," I explained, watching as she turned it over to see, "is used to fasten a shawl together here," I touched the centre of my chest on my breastbone. I leaned forward and touched my finger to the small plate at the top of the piece, which was shaped like two birds, facing each other. "The birds, here, they represent the ngen, which are protective spirits." Renesmee passed her fingertip across the basic engraving on the smooth silver. I moved my hand down, past the three chains that linked the plate with the birds, to a trapezoid shaped plate lower down.

"This piece here represents the universe according to the Mapuche. The two corners at the top represent the sky and the bottom two the earth. There are two for each to represent the positive and the negative." She looked up at me and I got a thrill from the genuine interest in her eyes as I explained it to her. I smiled again and pointed to the engraving at the centre of the plate. "Here, where the four points meet, is where the Mapuche man is, at the center of the universe. Some say the idea can be extended further; to show the four seasons of nature, for example." I paused before I continued. "Renesmee, one of the reasons that I wanted to give you this is because I can see us in there; right there, in the middle of the vampire and human worlds. Your parents, my aunt, they're all there, tucked neatly away on the edges, but you and me? We're right there in the middle, drifting somewhere between the two. I can't even begin to tell you how much it meant to me when you agreed to see me, and now I've had the best few days; better than I ever could have imagined. Thank you. For everything."

Renesmee looked up once more and I saw a lone tear escape and trickle down her cheek.

"Thank you Nahuel," she whispered. "And I'm sorry. Sorry I can't be everything that you were looking for." I shook my head.

"No, you're much more than I'd even hoped for, Ayun. It's the circumstances that are wrong, not you." Her face crumpled then, although she managed to hold the tears back. She moved round, put her arms around me and hugged me. I hugged her back, doing my best to ignore the effects of her touch on my body. After a moment she pulled away slightly, still in my arms. She looked deep into my eyes and tilted her face upward, searching for clues as to how I was feeling, in my face. I swallowed as I realized what she was thinking of doing. Her face moved slowly toward mine as thoughts flashed rapidly through my mind and I tried to decide what to do. I battled in my head between what I wanted desperately to do and what I knew I should do.

Her lips touched mine once and she pulled back slightly, her eyes searching mine once again. As her mouth touched mine for the second time, it was me who pulled back.

"No," I told her gently, watching as a look of hurt flashed across her face. I spoke hurriedly to reassure her. "It's not that I don't want to, you know I do, more than anything, but this isn't right for you. You made your decision, you should go with it." I reached my hand out and cupped her cheek, stroking it with my thumb. "It was the right one for you." I looked at her for a moment until she nodded slightly in agreement, then I stood and pulled her up by the hand. "Come on," I said as she slipped the jewellery back in the pouch and put it in the pocket of her jeans. I draped my arm around her again. "Let's take you home."

A/N: Well, well, did Nahuel surprise you there? Does this change how you feel about him from the previous chapters at all?

Please press review and let me know what you think :o)